Michelle Franklin Quotes & Sayings

The greatest ugliness in the world is seeing so beautiful a creature spoil themselves on stupidity. — Michelle Franklin

There are very few things in the world I hate more than Daylight Savings Time. It is the grand lie of time, the scourge of science, the blight on biological understanding. — Michelle Franklin

She deigned to asked me how ice queens reproduce. I grinned, and her mother looked horrified.
"We procreate by way of ice cubes, of course. We put them in our nests and let them incubate for the period of about four months, and when the temperature is right, we put them out to roost and let them flake off into billions of snowflakes, rather like tadpoles breaking in droves from their eggs. And that, child," I said, with a simulacrum of glee, "is how winter is born."
"Does it hurt?"
"No more than the approach of Monday does to most of the world. It is a natural process, you understand, but it is dreadful hard work. — Michelle Franklin

A heart? Peppone knows where one is to be met with. There is always someone in the black market in need of dying early. — Michelle Franklin

We all emerge into this material soup, mix about with the meat and potatoes of life, and then slip away, back to the primordial germination whence we came. Nascence is a strange business: we forget what we were doing only to come forth and continually forget what we were doing perpetually over the course of a lifetime, until it is time to quit this plane through some unseen and ethereal vomitorium, and presumably forget that we had forgotten all over again. — Michelle Franklin

You know a few shiftless persons in need of biological levity. You men of negotiable constancy like gold, don't you? — Michelle Franklin

He's going to kill me," Peppone murmured, his jaw drooping, "or at least send out the order to have someone take care of me. Well," with a sigh, "might as well get rid of this body before the others wake up." He canted his head and mused to himself. "Maybe I should carve it up first."
"At long last," Bartleby cried, raising his eyes and wringing his hands, "somebody who has no regard for collective conscience and general morality. Oh, happy, happy morning!"
"Take care, Peppone," Danaco laughed, "if you have so little regard for life and the creatural condition, Bartleby will attach himself to you and never leave you for a moment. — Michelle Franklin

There are two gradations of cold that are always acceptable: Mild Frost, which is preferable for reading and writing and any other activity done indoors, and Absolute Zero, which is the only temperature suitable for sleep. There is nothing more delicious than being swathed in a cocoon of blankets and awaking with a nose frosted over with rime, and once I do achieve vampiric heights and fall asleep with the mastery of a corpse lately dead, I am best left alone until I wake up at my usual time. I do tend to bite when rattled out of my flocculent coffin, and everyone in my building knows never to disturb me during the early morning hours. Authors, being crepuscular creatures, should never be roused before 11am: the creative mind is never turned off; it only dies momentarily and its revived by the scent of coffee at the proper time.

Bacon is also an acceptable restorative. — Michelle Franklin

The dust of thirty years hung lifeless in shafts of morning light, the gilding of perfectly prim pages shone incanescent, the shriek of rolling ladders mourned in perennial soliloquy. — Michelle Franklin

No one needs Independence. We all just need tea and air conditioners. — Michelle Franklin

What will I do when you're gone?" said Alasdair, with a faltering voice.
Bryeison placed a hand on his shoulder and said, with raging tranquility, "Do what is good and what is right. — Michelle Franklin

Everyone is a raconteur without realizing it. We speak to our friends, we speak to our doctors and therapists about the nothing-meaning nonsense that goes on in our lives, but the difference in telling a story and complaining about the ills of one's life is in the delivery. We can talk about how someone slighted you at work, or we can talk about how that person looked when they promptly fell down the stairs a moment after disdaining you. There, you see, is the difference: people will often notice the main but not the nuance; they will notice the face of the person yelling at them and the pitch of their shouts, but will not notice the comfort that the ululations of agony and twisted limbs lying on the bottom stile can promise. — Michelle Franklin

And if I use the opportunity to kill you and leave?" the giant said in a tone half-serious half-arch.
"I have never known warriors to be dishonourable. Should you prove me wrong, we will all be dead anyway. There is nothing so ugly as reneging a promise, wouldn't you agree?"
The giant clenched his teeth and looked down. "I would," he murmured. — Michelle Franklin

Never underestimate the audacity of the small minded and slightly crapulous.
A rather bleezed young neighbour decided to have a grammar battle with me. It lasted all of two seconds.
I said something slightly amicable, and he responded with, "You sure that's how you use that word?"
I put down my laundry basket and turned to him slowly and deliberately.
"Do you really want to have this discussion with me, son, or do you want to go home and rethink your life?"
He grumbled and vanished. — Michelle Franklin

The unconscious fabric of human destiny had done with her, unraveling all her grievances and reweaving them as joyous circumstance. — Michelle Franklin

If the sale of flesh could be made as easily as the sale of spiritual exemption, the prescience of a dedicated businessman might be well preserved. — Michelle Franklin

The old who refuse to die merely on principle live on forever, to hate life and complain of all the things they could have been spared had they the good sense to die young. — Michelle Franklin

Her remarks caught his consideration and his violet eyes tapered with growing dislike. He was at least dejected in his solitude, and now she had come to ruin his isolation and compel him to speak when he would otherwise be enjoying silence. He pressed his immense body against the bars of the cell in hopes of intimidating her, but the captain remained complacent and unaffected by his display.
"Leave me, woman," he bellowed at her.
"I fear a cannot do that just now. I might need your help, should you wish to give it."
He groaned and turned aside. "I will not assist you."
"It is rather a shame you won't. I was going to offer you your freedom."
The giant turned back and looked at her with hesitation. — Michelle Franklin

I don't talk ill about people I don't know," said Bartleby. "I only disparage them in silence and hope they die. — Michelle Franklin

The rest of the evening passed agreeably: the crew had their games on the main deck, resigning themselves to Sirs and dice now that dancing was out, those who would go ashore to enjoy the dining halls and tea houses went after their matches were lost, and those who remained either took themselves off to an early rest or remained with the musicians, to sing out the remainder of the evening by way of a few round songs, calling out verses in melodic dissonance, singing the history of Good Marrie the Whore and though there were "Ten hands in her purse, there was still room for one more!", — Michelle Franklin

But the world hinges on good fathers and those who would be the merchants of confidence. — Michelle Franklin

Attracting musicians is rather like inviting flies over to tea: they are tolerable for half an hour, but when they begin to touch the food, you either wish they would go home or die. — Michelle Franklin

There is a very great difference between older and old, the former being desirable and the latter being inevitable. — Michelle Franklin

A scientist does not have hope, sir. Hope is what a man has in the absence of answers, and once he does empirical experimentation, he replaces hope with knowledge and disappointment. — Michelle Franklin

Any advice for how to be a successful author?"
"Yes. Don't be a woman. And be dead. And do both at the same time, if you can. — Michelle Franklin

He glanced back at his ship, and a sigh escaped his lips, his heart fraught with the appreciation and melancholy that understanding his own situation must evince. His place as Captain of such a crew was as evanescent as the rest of life, and while they were all collected together now, being of the same character, the same mind, having the same predilections and ambitions, there was no saying when it might be over. He might be called away on urgent business, or his crew might grow anxious for a more settled life, Rannig might wish to return home, or the Director of the Marridon Academy might finally rot, calling Bartleby back to Marridon for the promotion he so richly deserved. He exhaled, reveling in the pining sigh of impermanence which living in such uncertainty must produce. — Michelle Franklin

I believe someone made a grievous mistake when summer was created; no novitiate or god in their right mind would make a season akin to hell on purpose. Someone should be fired. — Michelle Franklin

Life makes beggars out of those who have joyful hearts, taxing the living with hardship and tribulation, but the charity of companionship, the currency of shared and unmitigated love, alleviates all disconsolation. — Michelle Franklin

Women always think in the catastrophic, and when there is a calamity to rectify that might require a unmarried granddaughter, there older women will always act. Their powers of foresight and vigilance might make any disheveled or nubile young haggage ready for the altar in five minutes. — Michelle Franklin

It is 32c today, and the only thing keeping me from hanging myself is the small sense of relief I glean from attaching my body to the vents of my delicious cooling piece. It is a stunning unit, exquisite in all its forms, exceptional in its application, and effective in all its functions. I would marry it, if only I knew it would not die on me sometime within the next five years. Appliances, like obedient children or silent extroverts, cannot last forever, and while my unbidden affection kept my other air conditioner alive for the better part of ten years, not all inanimate objects can be fueled by my love. — Michelle Franklin

My face is rather like a collision waiting to happen: head-on I can be borne, but turn sideways, and it is all calamity. — Michelle Franklin

A library always housed a trove of undiscovered friendships and forays, and a bookstore, a place where those temporary connections might become a constancy, must always hold a charm over any scholar's heart. — Michelle Franklin

Why don't you tell me your name?"
"No."
"Very well. Your rank?"
"What would a woman understand of rank?"
"What does my sex have to do with my understanding?"
"As I have said, women are not warriors."
"Perhaps in your society they aren't, but in Frewyn we do very well for ourselves. — Michelle Franklin

Astonishing how tea opens the ears. — Michelle Franklin

I know we are supposed to welcome anyone who vows to protect the kingdom, but really, anyone will do anything for a copper these days, and where pride and promises are saleable, expendable men come very cheap indeed. — Michelle Franklin

Bartleby is never happy, but he never can be, you know. Life in general offends him. Happiness is something that happens to other people, because life happens to Bartleby. It happens to him frequently and unwarrantedly, and every time he is forced to suffer it, he is always disappointed. — Michelle Franklin

Abuse really is its own alphabet. Those who have not gone through it cannot understand it fully. The echos of violence hang in subconscious long after the threat is gone. — Michelle Franklin

The skies gave way to the full ascendence of morning and clouds skittered across the expanse, the variations on a nebulous theme woven on a celestial loom. — Michelle Franklin

Tea was the great arbiter of many things, and for Pastaddams, his morning cup meant the difference between expressing rational thought and succumbing to the ineptitude that occupied recesses of his dormant mind. Merely having the cup in his hand facilitated the flow of ideas, and upon tea, the great nourishment of the tailor's life, rested all his claims to rational dependence. — Michelle Franklin

Tell me, Peppone, what other talents do you have besides erasing undesirables?"
"I enjoy a fair bit of sneaking, sir. I also enjoy pilfering and killing as a professional courtesy."
"What a delightfully horrid urchin you are."
"Thank you, sir. — Michelle Franklin

You will try to improve me, Captain, but I tell you it cannot be done. I am resigned to moral apathy and corporeal decrepitude, and have done with projections. No, Captain," with a pining sigh, "I think I will simply sit in the shade and wait for either a customer or death, the latter I might prefer, at such a point. — Michelle Franklin

I would waste thirty minutes a day, standing in front of a mirror that I never had any inclination to really pay proper attention to. And even after I made myself up for nothing, I was still derided and abused for it. It was rather like putting a dress on a bear and pretending it was beautiful. — Michelle Franklin

The words 'when I take you home' echoed in the captain's mind, caroming off that private place where all his suspicions and uncertainties slept. — Michelle Franklin

Do what is right and what is good.
Bryeison to Alasdair before going to his death on the battlefield. — Michelle Franklin

It would be obscene in me as a gentlemen to set my men upon you without warning. A gentleman always tells his enemies he is going to attack them before he does it. It gives them time enough to write to their mothers. — Michelle Franklin

The silver streaks in his hair, the deep curogations in his forehead, the estuaries at the corners of his eyes were marks of pride to one who had seen countless battles and fought many wars. The map of his features bespoke his many years of triumph and tribulation, and he was glad to wear the aspect of so accomplished a soldier, glad to earn the prize of old age. — Michelle Franklin

The captain's eyes betrayed what his countenance must conceal: the anguish of an ancient being who must honour his birthright by living beyond those whom he would have given much to keep. — Michelle Franklin

Life is really a travesty of will: it is a parade of learning how to lose people and improve at feigning indifference.

I suspect I shall always fail at this, and fail miserably. I do not know whether that is winning at life or failing at happiness. — Michelle Franklin

I am sure I have summer depression; the heat makes me instantly regret being alive. — Michelle Franklin

Fantasy for the most part is really just reality reflected through a storybook lens. — Michelle Franklin

The cern paled, and all the courageous which accompanied him into the conversation was now all done away. He shrunk back, his audacity dwizzening under the teneberous gloom of the giant's long shadow. He turned to entreat the help of his fellow soldiers with desperate looks, but there was little more than half of the regiments left behind him, all of them unwilling to intervene, and his bowels rumbled, his heart sinking into the grave of conscience, and never had he felt more mistaken in his conduct. — Michelle Franklin

Regrettable was the gallantry of great men who risked themselves for others. — Michelle Franklin

The events of that day would forever be remembered, and they stood together as a united Marridon, a nation that would lead in innovation and liberality, taking up the thread that had been left for them, the essence of selfless love woven along a national loom. — Michelle Franklin

My doctor has given me as strong an antihistamine as she is allowed to prescribe, but even that does nothing for the itching and swelling. The moment a grain of pollen enters the keep, I begin to tomato, and after two minutes of being exposed to the Ejaculateum Arboratoeaea, I am lying on the ground with my tongue lolling out of the side of my mouth.
I am heartily glad that the trees and plants are still interested in copulatory activities; I only wish they would be so good as to keep their sperm away from my face. Do not pretend that pollen is anything else; it transfers haploid male genetic material and sullies the bedclothes unmercifully. — Michelle Franklin

I leave the outdoors to you. It is too warm out there to read comfortable, and summer, like many uncomfortable things, is as welcome as a dim woman. It is tolerable to look at, but after being made to interact with it, nobody wants anything to do with it. — Michelle Franklin

The matron glanced at the old man and suppressed a smile. "He is absolutely miserable."
"I enjoy miserable. It gives one a contrast to all the delectabilities of life. But is he housebroken, inpala? He is rather rumpled. He will look well on my ship, but will he wash well? Do professors fray as a general rule? I will not have my ship looking ragged."
"They do tend to fade after a few years of hard use. — Michelle Franklin

Another atrocity of summer is soccer. When the Euro Cup is on, it brings out the worst in people. It turns them into ravaging beasts who complain when a team they like, which they have done nothing to deserve, slips from grace and loses the match.
An old man sitting beside me at the cafe was watching the men watch the soccer rather than watch the soccer himself. He found their reactions more entertaining than the game.
"All this stuff and nonsense over men kicking a ball," he groused. "And they don't do any of the work themselves."
I told him, "We should just have wars. Then we would not need sports."
He laughed and quite agreed with me. — Michelle Franklin

A six mile meteorite cannot compare with a culinary cataclysm of this magnitude. — Michelle Franklin

You - " Mr Bellstrode began, and then leaning forward and sinking his voice, "You would kill for money?"
"Is there any other reason to? Well, I suppose there is revenge, but that, you know, never makes one feel as well as it should when it is all said and done. Money is a much better reward than retribution. Something substantial by way of compensation for emotional wrongs is much the best cure for an injured spirit. I do provide fatal retaliation for nothing when it is deserved, but as you are neither a poor helpless wretch nor the victim of national injustice, full payment is expected. — Michelle Franklin

Your legacy will be the world's inheritance, and the laughter you left us with will be the birthright of a new generation.
from a letter to Robin Williams — Michelle Franklin

And the matron sighed over the destiny of ladies in good society, whose moral judgement led them to love unabashedly and whose depravity led them to pay for it. — Michelle Franklin

The absence of life is not the same as material privation: we will never again see the same soul occupying the same space. The world refers to them as pets, but that is what we do, not really what they are. Affection pays for itself in proportion to the love we offer, and if the love we lavished on him was any indication, we are inconsolable. The suffering is more on our side now, for he led an enormously happy and productive life, and we are left to remember and agonize. It is all wretchedness now. Grief is the currency for death, leaving us in emotional debt perhaps forever, but love is the tax we happily pay toward the investment of another's company, and we would all rather pay it and be happy and poor than be rich in a friendless life. He is gone, and we are now beholden to him, but we are so much happier for his having been here than we deserve to be.
On the death of Ted, beloved cat — Michelle Franklin

Teaching a man how to clean barnacles from a keel is an amazing useful talent, one any child should be fortunate to learn. Magochiro is our champion barnaclebully at present. String him under a keel, and he will bring back dinner enough for ten. — Michelle Franklin

Is not he? I had him along for his books and potions, and kept him for his character. Profundities of disgruntled sentiments, injured spirits, wounded affection, bitterness, marginality, disdain of establishment - I knew we should get on famously. — Michelle Franklin

The sins of my sex ... A woman who is ugly is pitiable, but a man who is ugly is forgiven. — Michelle Franklin

We should have wars. Then there would be no need for sports. — Michelle Franklin

All the friends in the world are in the fountain of a pen. — Michelle Franklin

In my desperation to try to lull myself into a gentle sloom, I have created a list of things that will often assist my descent into delicious treacle-sleep. The list includes a series of things I can do if I go to bed and wake up early, and includes things like playing games and reading books, but one item that continually seems to work is telling myself:

The faster I go to sleep, the faster I can have cookies for breakfast.

This idea might seem rudimentary, but it staves off the sulks long enough that I can find a few hours of sleep, even on the hottest of days. If only Biscuit Power worked for other insomniacs, cookies might save humanity from itself. — Michelle Franklin

We come by aurora,
with a heavy and sovereign tread,
with the might of matriarchs to furnish our shoulders,
with the apricity of light to crown our heads — Michelle Franklin

The past is behind us," said Boudicca,"but the difficulty there is we keep looking over our shoulders. — Michelle Franklin

Boudicca MacDaede was not the most striking of women, but she had a wryness in character and heartiness in form that recommended her to the rough demands of a farmer's daughter and a soldier's sufferance." ~ First two lines of book 1 in the Haanta Series — Michelle Franklin

Swearing is a currency the countryside spends well. — Michelle Franklin

I am rather ashamed to admit that my knowledge of the Ice Age in Canada is very little, mostly because much of it was under ice until about 10,000 years ago. I am very sure we still had beavers. I am also equally sure we still had Tim Horton's, a prehistoric edifice which has a coffee blend that can only be described as fossilized. — Michelle Franklin

Why are you wailing away? What is the matter with you?"
"I was playing and - " and her lip quivered as she spoke, " - and it was cloudy, and then - " a sniff, " - and then, as I was playing, the sun came out."
I gave her a flat look. "You're crying because the sun came out?"
"Yes," she moped, wiping the tears from her eyes, "the sun came out, and now - " she heaved, " - and now, it's hot! I don't like it when it's hot. Being hot is dumb!"
I immediately absolved her of all previous sins. I slumped over the sill and gave her as much sympathy as my now warm face allowed. "Yes, child, being hot is very dumb indeed. Very well, you have a reason for crying. But then why are you outside?"
"Because it was too hot inside and mommy won't let me have ice cream."
"Well, there is your problem. You must get an air conditioner and a new mother. — Michelle Franklin

In my body's effort to conserve itself, rather than attempt any movement outside, I have begun eating more sugar than is good for me. Sugar, while a comfort to many, is a detriment to those with my various physical complaints, and even a spoonful could plunge me into violent agony. It is a pleasurable agony, at least, and in my depression and desperation to have anything that resembled nutrition, I ate half a jar of chocolate spread. I know I should not buy these things. I seldom give in to such cibarious cagmaggery, even when it is On Sale, but when summer is imminent, I will do anything to feel better, including eat something that will make me regret my folly.

I am currently crippled on the floor and awaiting death, or I am lately dead and have taught my undead form to use a keyboard, I cannot tell which. I am no longer hot, however, and there is some comfort, whether I am dead or alive. I would rather be alive, I think, if only to buy more chocolate spread. — Michelle Franklin

That is the only sure way of knowing we have made someone happy: making someone miserable by our leaving them. — Michelle Franklin

He pointed at the caiques, but Peppone declined the librarian's offer, saying only, "Do you think the proprietor of the inn where we met will report us?"
"The money I left him was more than enough to silence his alarms," said Danaco. "Gold has an amazing habit of altering memories. — Michelle Franklin

Such pedantic apotheosis is reached by so few, and when parishioners are left without their guiding star, we can only desperately cling to the last intimations of a passing titan. — Michelle Franklin

Rautu sighed and in his exhalation blew on his dear chocolate. The few specs it had incurred were easily blown away and the giant inspected his confection with a contented glint in his eye. All was amended and the chocolate, which had nearly succumbed to ruination, was saved. He took in the aroma of his favourite treat and tasted it. All seemed right in the world and the almost catastrophic incident was averted.
"I thought your scripture says that your people are not permitted to eat from the ground because of illness caused by doing so," the commander said with a suppressed laugh for her mate's immediate happiness.
"It does," the Den Asaan quietly replied. "However, most of our provisions are not dry in nature and our meals are eaten on the sand."
"And so eating from the stone upon which many feet walk is acceptable?"
Rautu glared at his mate. "It is for chocolate," he growled. — Michelle Franklin