The Family Guy Funny Quotes & Sayings

If you're a guy over 30 by yourself in the hotel pool, you automatically look like a murderer who's just relaxing after he strangled a family. "Yeah-that dad was a tough one to kill." — Jim Gaffigan

I see a funny guy who's imperfect, but has a great heart and no vanity when it comes to what he'll do to get a laugh. I see a guy who loves his art and loves his family, and who is willing to live and die for both. — Marlon Wayans

We never really tried to shock for shock's sake on 'Family Guy'. If something was horribly offensive and shocking, we would put it in if it was also hysterically funny. — Seth MacFarlane

Am I picking you up tonight?" he asked. "Or do you still think I'm an ax murderer who might break into your house and off you and your family?"
"Pretty sure you'd go all parkour on us. Instead of using an ax."
"Parkour? You think I'd use your family as an obstacle course?"
"What?" I asked.
He smothered a laugh. "Parkour is non-contact."
I felt my face redden. How was I supposed to know all that guy crap? — Anna Cruise

That's why I like to get out there, and get people to see the other side of Mitt, and know us in a different reflection when you see the family and how funny he is with the boys and with the grandkids. And you know, just what a super guy he is. That's part of what I am doing, is letting people see the other side of Mitt. — Ann Romney

Thomas," the boss said. "How's your father doing?" "He's good, Sal." Always the family questions first. That was Sal Demenci's style. He could be about to whack someone and he'd ask how the guy's sister was doing in school. — Gary Ponzo

I always thought it would be funny to have the Parents Television Council write an episode of 'Family Guy' and give them full creative control. Then see how good the episode is. That's something we've actually discussed in the writers' room. We haven't proposed it yet, but if somebody from the PTC reads this, it might be worth discussing. — Seth MacFarlane

At the time, I used to say, "We should market this like Everybody Loves Raymond. It's just a guy dealing with his family." Instead, it was irresistible to show all these funny people. So, I actually think this could be more inviting to a new audience because they can just watch one character, find out what's going on in his life, and then meet another character and find out what's going on in her life, and then see how it intersects the other one. — Mitchell Hurwitz