Joanne Fluke Quotes & Sayings

Whenever someone told her not to think about something, it had quite the opposite effect. Once she knew she shouldn't dwell on something, it took on even more importance in her mind. — Joanne Fluke

CREAM CHEESE FROSTING FOR RED VELVET SURPRISE CUPCAKES 4 ounces cream cheese (I used Philadelphia Brand in the rectangular silver package - half a package was 4 ounces) ¼ cup salted butter (½ stick, 2 ounces, pound) 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 cups powdered sugar (pack it down in the cup when you measure it) Place the cream cheese and the butter in a medium-size microwave-safe bowl. (I used a quart measuring cup.) Microwave on HIGH for 30 seconds. Stir. If you can stir the cream cheese and the butter smooth, take the bowl out and put it on the counter. If it's still not soft enough to stir, microwave on HIGH in 20-second intervals until it is. Add the vanilla extract to your bowl and stir that in. Add the powdered sugar, a half-cup at a time, stirring after each addition. Continue to add powdered sugar until the frosting is spreadable, not runny. — Joanne Fluke

Dilly Onion Rings This is Ellie Kuehn's recipe. She tried serving it on a sausage pizza out at Bertanelli's and it was really good! One large mild or sweet onion (a red onion is nice - more colorful) 1/3 cup white (granulated) sugar 2 teaspoons salt 1 teaspoon fresh baby dill (it's not as good with dried dill weed) ½ cup white vinegar ¼ cup water 4 large ripe tomatoes as an accompaniment (optional) Cut the onion in thin slices. Separate the slices into rings and put them in a bowl. Combine the sugar, salt, dill, white vinegar, and water. Pour the liquid over the onion rings. Cover the bowl and refrigerate for at least 5 hours, stirring every hour or so. Serving suggestions: Slice large ripe tomatoes and arrange on a platter. Lift the onion rings out of the brine and sprinkle them on top of the tomato slices. Garnish with fresh, chopped — Joanne Fluke

Corn Chowder This recipe is from Marjorie Hanks. She used to make it on the stove, but now that Luanne got her a slow cooker, she makes it this way. ½ cup diced cooked ham (or 6 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled) 2 cups peeled, diced potatoes ½ cup chopped onion 2 ten-ounce packages frozen whole-kernel corn 1 can (16-ounces) cream-style corn 1 Tablespoon brown sugar 1 teaspoon Tabasco sauce 1 teaspoon Season Salt (see Mrs. Knudson's recipe on backmatter) ½ teaspoon black pepper 1 cup chicken broth Spray the crock of a 4-quart slow cooker with Pam. Combine all ingredients in the crock-pot and stir well. Cover and cook on LOW for 6 to 7 hours. Yield: Makes 4 hearty servings. — Joanne Fluke

Time & Money. They're always the deciding factors. — Joanne Fluke

had the time to test every single one of the great family recipes you send. Chapter — Joanne Fluke

There was something wonderful about a blank sheet of notepaper. The lines were there, just waiting to be filled, and the page could turn into anything from a grocery list to the opening of The Great American Novel. The possibilities were endless. — Joanne Fluke

There was no greater gift than making someone laugh. People who laughed were happy. — Joanne Fluke

Two dates in one night - not bad at all! Hannah's frown changed to a grin as she lifted the lid and dropped her very favourite five-year-old pair of Nikes inside. — Joanne Fluke

ORANGE JULIUS 3 cups orange juice 1 envelope dry Dream Whip (the kind that makes 2 cups) 1 package dry vanilla pudding (the kind that makes 2 cups) 3 more cups orange juice Pour the orange juice into a blender. Add the dry Dream Whip and the dry pudding. Blend it for one minute on low and another minute on medium speed. Pour the mixture in a 2-quart pitcher. Add another 3 cups of orange juice and stir well. Serve over ice. Yield: Makes almost 2 quarts. — Joanne Fluke

Solving crimes certainly wasn't as easy as they made it seem in the movies. — Joanne Fluke

IT was the time of day when Lake Eden residents decided it was too late for a breakfast cookie and too early for a lunch cookie. — Joanne Fluke

She was a level-headed woman who saw the glass as neither half empty nor half full, but rather a glass with something in it and room to pour in more ... — Joanne Fluke

Oh, my! Well . . . that — Joanne Fluke

Kids that age are very accepting. If we could just get them to keep that attitude, it might be a kinder world. — Joanne Fluke

Good Friends are like sunshine. A day is gloomy without them. — Joanne Fluke

mean, you're not actually going to the party with him!" "Yes, I am," Hannah confirmed — Joanne Fluke

Conversation over coffee tended to be candid and invited confidences. — Joanne Fluke

The secret of high finance ... if you really need a loan, you won't qualify. And if you don't need a loan, all the lenders will line up to give you money. — Joanne Fluke

For the life of her, she couldn't understand how such an obstinate, boneheaded chauvinist could make her pulse race and her insides turn to jelly. — Joanne Fluke

Lecture your children every day. You may not know what they did wrong, but they do! — Joanne Fluke

It seemed that people could walk through life without causing a ripple, leading ordinary and uneventful lives. It was only after they'd been murdered that people took notice of them. — Joanne Fluke

Being mature isn't what it's cracked up to be. — Joanne Fluke

As she traveled down the lane between the rows of parked cars, she noticed a conspicuous absence of new or expensive vehicles. Teaching didn't pay well enough for any luxuries, and Hannah thought that was a shame. There was something really wrong with the system when a teacher could make more money flipping burgers at a fast-food chain. — Joanne Fluke

Why were you smiling like that?" "Smiling like what?" "Like the cat that got into the cream pot. — Joanne Fluke

If chocolate were a mandatory part of breakfast, people wouldn't be so
grouchy in the morning. — Joanne Fluke

Perhaps the mirror in Sally's dressing room had waved the wrong way and caused her to look larger than she actually was. And perhaps all that skipping had jumbled her brain and affected her ability to separate reality from wishful thinking. — Joanne Fluke

She skinned her hair back into a ponytail, a style she knew was probably too young for her, but she planned to drive with her windows open and she could ditch the elastic band once she got to the lake. — Joanne Fluke

If God gave Dad Alzheimer's, He's got to understand when Dad forgets what church he belongs to. — Joanne Fluke

PANCAKES 3½ cups frozen hash brown potatoes 2 eggs (2 extra large or 3 small) ¼ cup grated onion (or ½ teaspoon onion powder) 1 teaspoon season salt ½ teaspoon black pepper 2 Tablespoons cracker crumbs (matzo meal or flour will also work) 1/8 cup butter (¼ stick, 1 ounce) for frying 1/8 cup good olive oil for frying Toppings for the Table: sour cream applesauce cherry sauce*** blueberry sauce*** apricot sauce*** Hannah's 1st Note: Great-Grandma — Joanne Fluke

Investigating is a process of elimination. You have to explore all the possibilities, and whatever's left, no matter how implausible, has got to be it. — Joanne Fluke

The next time you come to the Cookie Jar, the coffee's on me. You could probably bottle that stuff of yours and sell it for rat poison. — Joanne Fluke

they constituted the list of names her mother and — Joanne Fluke

On the one hand, it was nice to have someone who was concerned about you. But on the other hand, you couldn't ever feel truly independent. Marriage was a trade-off. You gave up some things and you gained others. — Joanne Fluke

Candy loved to shop and she couldn't seem to shop smiling. They'd gone out the front door of The Cookie Jar and into the next building over. There were party dresses on the mannequins in the windows, and Hannah has said they were going to buy something for her to wear to the party tomorrow night. — Joanne Fluke

I can be nice on occasion," Mike said. — Joanne Fluke

three men can keep a secret, but only if two of them are dead. — Joanne Fluke

Hannah! You've simply got to stop finding bodies. I swear you attract them like a magnet. If you're not careful, everyone's going to get the wrong impression of you." - Delores Swenson — Joanne Fluke

If I ever see a man in a rug again, I'm not going to believe a single word he says! A man who lies about having hair will lie about anything. — Joanne Fluke

Pack them into a small round mold, or form a ball and flatten it to resemble a hockey puck (or a baby Brie if you're not from Minnesota and into winter sports.) — Joanne Fluke

You'll never see a hearse towing a U-Haul. — Joanne Fluke

Make sure you wear something appropriate, dear. You never know who you'll run into and it's always smart to look your best. — Joanne Fluke

P.S. If it's not a secret, will you tell me how you got my dollhouse inside our living room last Christmas? I know its too big to fit down the chimney. I measured. — Joanne Fluke

Minnesotans who bought scenic art usually avoided winter scenes. Hannah didn't find that surprising. Minnesota winters were long. Why would they want to buy a painting that would constantly remind them of the bone-chilling cold, the heavy snow that had to be shoveled, and the necessity of dressing up in survival gear to do nothing more than take out the garbage? — Joanne Fluke

At the same time, Italian sausage, breadsticks, antipasto, and spaghetti vied for air supremacy. — Joanne Fluke

At least she'd finally figured out why the green leggings she wore were called tights. It was because they were tight. Extremely tight. So very tight that she felt like a sausage about to split open on a blazing hot barbecue grill. — Joanne Fluke

Hannah grabbed the scoop and exhumed the item that Moishe had buried. It wasn't a mouse, or a part of a mouse. It wasn't even a cricket, or a moth. It was a pristine nugget of his new senior cat food. Suddenly suspicious, she dug around a bit in the litter box, uncovering more evidence of Moishe's distaste. By his choice of burial spot, her cat was making a graphic comment about the palatability of his dinner. — Joanne Fluke

A hot, dry breeze greeted the Swensen sisters and their mother when they emerged from the air-conditioned interior of McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas. — Joanne Fluke