Famous Quotes & Sayings

Quotes & Sayings About Stand Up Comedy

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Top Stand Up Comedy Quotes

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Brion James

You know, stand-up comedy is where I pretty much started out. — Brion James

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Franklyn Ajaye

An aspiring comedian must be determined to get to his or her true feelings on a subject and convey that to the audience. Figure out what you're feeling or interested in because the goal is to get the audience interested in what you're interested in. Good stand up comedy is drawing people into your head. — Franklyn Ajaye

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Bill Hicks

On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did. — Bill Hicks

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Aziz Ansari

With stand-up, I can have an idea, go down the street to a comedy club and work on it, flesh it out, book a venue, people will come, then film it. I do all that myself; I never have to answer to anybody. — Aziz Ansari

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Patton Oswalt

I'm sitting at the bar, rearranging the order of my jokes. I'm under the delusion that I'm having bad shows because of some cosmic misalignment of words, phrases, and ideas. I may as well have cast runes into a spirit bowl, hoping that the collective heart of the audience would open to my necromantic call. Maybe that's how jugglers do it. Those guys never have shitty sets. — Patton Oswalt

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Hannibal Buress

I did a 'Last Comic Standing' audition in 2006, where you're just performing for three people in a comedy club, in a big comedy club, and I remember them cutting me off, asking about my name in the middle of one of my jokes. Yeah, it's just real weird when you're doing stand-up in that type of sterile, unnatural setting. — Hannibal Buress

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Kevin Hart

Stand-up comedy is mine: it's my entity; it's my brand; I own it. I do it when I want to do it. — Kevin Hart

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Mike Nichols

Stand-up comedy is a very hard thing on the spirit. There are people who transcend it, like Jack Benny and Steve Martin, but in its essence, it's soul-destroying. It tends to turn people into control freaks. — Mike Nichols

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Nick Kroll

It's a real democratic time for comedy, and I think my special is a sign for that. You don't have to just be a classic stand-up to get a special, or you don't just have to be on Saturday Night Live to do characters and sketch on TV. The web has allowed me to show that there are different ways to make people laugh, and the special is a combination of those things. — Nick Kroll

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Jim Gaffigan

When I started stand-up - and this is in the '90s - there was definitely people hadn't watched decades of Comedy Central, where people are really much more educated on stand-up comedy. — Jim Gaffigan

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Maz Jobrani

If you do finish the book and are still scared of me and people of my ilk, then I recommend you schedule an appointment with a therapist. Either that, or try writing your own book — Maz Jobrani

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Jeff Dunham

Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it or embrace it. — Jeff Dunham

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Denis Leary

I guess you get pigeon-holed in Hollywood, but I'm ok with that because I've been able to do a lot. I started in the theater, then I went to stand-up comedy, and then when I went into the movies to do comedy and drama and big movies and small movies. — Denis Leary

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Louis C.K.

The earliest stand-up comedy I was aware of was Bill Cosby. I watched Saturday Night Live as soon as I was aware of it, and Monty Python used to be on PBS at weird hours, so I used to try to watch that. And I loved George Carlin on SNL, that was the first stand-up I ever really remember seeing on TV. And then Steve Martin. I guess I was in fifth or sixth grade when Steve Martin showed up, and he was instantly my idol. And Richard Pryor around the same time too, I sort of became aware of him, though I don't remember the first time I saw him. — Louis C.K.

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Paul Rudd

My sense of stand up comedy would be so esoteric. — Paul Rudd

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Emo Philips

I started doing stand-up at the age of 20. This was back in 1976, around the time (coincidence?) that the first comedy clubs were starting. The young comedians of today gasp when I tell them how many shows I did that first year: 500. Five nights a week. — Emo Philips

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Kevin Durand

I did stand-up for a long time, and I did classical theater. As much time as you could spend on a stage will always inform you and your job, as you evolve. I feel the freedom of being able to find comedy in the darkest moments because it makes it way more interesting, I think. — Kevin Durand

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Bill Burr

You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it. — Bill Burr

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Adam Carolla

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money ... and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn't very good at it. — Adam Carolla

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Alan Rickman

Those of you who are not aware of my brilliant career as a stand up comic, I'm not aware of it either so we might well wonder what we're doing here. — Alan Rickman

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Uma Thurman

I love comedy. I don't approach it any different. I'm not a comedian. I'm not a stand-up. I just do it like a part and personally, I love to watch comedies. If you don't get to do what you like to watch you get frustrated. — Uma Thurman

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Bill Burr

Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't just be like, 'Alright, I got my hour down, people are coming to see me now. Now, I'm going to lean on the mike stand.' No, you gotta work even harder now. You got to top what you already did. Because they'll find someone else. — Bill Burr

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Steve Martin

DID STAND-UP COMEDY for eighteen years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four were spent in wild success. — Steve Martin

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By J. Ross Clara

My dad used to tell me that laughter was like a cough or a sneeze - the body's way of trying to expel something. But instead of some phlegm in your throat, or some dust up your nose, a laugh happened when something really true got into your brain. Something so true that your system just couldn't stand it. — J. Ross Clara

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Tommy Davidson

Stand-up keeps you alive. It is definitely the most specialized field in comedy because you need to stay sharp and well-tuned every night. — Tommy Davidson

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Jack Dee

The book is called 'Thanks for Nothing' and it's really the story of how I got into comedy and traces back every strand in my life that is relevant to that story. It's kind of an autobiography but isn't, as it stops about 25 years ago. It goes right up to the first time I do stand up. — Jack Dee

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Joy Behar

Have four things going. I have stand-up comedy, two television shows and I'm working on a play. I like to work, and I fear that something could fall through. You know what they say: 'The show must go off.' — Joy Behar

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Dave Attell

I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing. — Dave Attell

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Drew Carey

I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson. — Drew Carey

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Lewis Black

I don't know if you've noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the mirror. — Lewis Black

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Jenny Slate

It takes a while to realize that just because you're a stand-up comedian and you do comedy, you're not going to be good at all comedy. — Jenny Slate

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Judah Friedlander

Stand-up comedy is the most relaxing thing I do. If I want to unwind and de-stress, I go out and do stand-up, often several shows in a night. — Judah Friedlander

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Evan Davis

But sometimes it's good to dare yourself to do the unthinkable. And rather than stand in front of an audience with no clothes on, I decided to have a go at stand-up comedy. — Evan Davis

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Sherman Alexie

A really good stand-up comic is a poet; it's about the use of language. It can be really poetic. And I like politically conscious comedy. — Sherman Alexie

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Kevin Hart

Stand-up can take you in so many different places, man. So many doors can be opened up from stand-up comedy, and the first one that was opened up for me was acting. But you can go from acting to being a TV personality to being a radio personality to being a writer to being a producer, to just being a visionary, to voiceover work. — Kevin Hart

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Louis C.K.

Fuck it ... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man. — Louis C.K.

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Chris Rock

I don't think my comedy is that political. It's more social. But whatever. When you make comedy and you do stand-up, you work alone. Movies have to go under so much scrutiny. A stand-up special is a vision, and a movie is a consensus in a lot of ways. — Chris Rock

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Ellen DeGeneres

I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres. — Ellen DeGeneres

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Michael Showalter

You really have no idea whether or not what you're writing is funny. In stand-up and sketch comedy, you know right away and you can make your changes accordingly. — Michael Showalter

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Amy Poehler

Improvisation is almost like the retarded cousin in the comedy world. We've been trying forever to get improvisation on TV. It's just like stand-up. It's best when it's just left alone. It doesn't translate always on TV. It's best live. — Amy Poehler

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Tracey Ullman

A lot of stand-up comedy is embarrassing: too many idiots doing it in orange neckties against brick walls. I find most sitcoms embarrassing, too, because they seem so forced. — Tracey Ullman

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Zach Galifianakis

I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, "What the hell is this? This person's happy!" You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It's a tool for comedy. — Zach Galifianakis

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Jim Dale

When I was nine, we'd take a bus to the seaside. Coming back, we'd take turns entertaining, singing songs and the like. I tried some stand-up comedy. I had a captive audience in that bus. Then I realized I wanted to do more than that. — Jim Dale

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Bill Hicks

This is the material, by the way, that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for the past 15 years. Gee, I wonder why we're hated the world over? Look at these fat Americans in the front row - 'Why doesn't he just hit fruit with a hammer?' Folks, I could have done that, walked around being a millionaire and franchising myself but no, I had to have this weird thing about trying to illuminate the collective unconscious and help humanity. Fucking moron. — Bill Hicks

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Chris Rock

Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect. — Chris Rock

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Deirdre O'Kane

I don't like doing things by halves, and I realised you can't do stand-up comedy part-time. — Deirdre O'Kane

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Aziz Ansari

Other than friends and family, my favorite things are New York and stand-up. I love doing comedy in New York - I can do way more stand-up here than in Los Angeles. — Aziz Ansari

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Kapil Sharma

People expect comedy from me but I am not just a stand-up comedian anymore. I act on stage, host 'Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa' and also conduct interviews on my show. I have grown as a person and an artiste. — Kapil Sharma

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Michael Redmond

People often say to me: Oy! Get out of my garden. — Michael Redmond

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Darynda Jones

Humor is so subjective, not everyone is going to get what you are peddling. Others will be offended when what you meant no offense whatsoever. Those are the stakes. You have to be able to stand up for yourself and what you've written. Comedy pushes limits, makes people uncomfortable, and is a natural reaction to the environment. Otherwise, as I said, it is forced. Let it flow and give your characters permission to cross a line or two, but only if you can take the heat afterward. — Darynda Jones

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Tim Allen

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. — Tim Allen

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Aziz Ansari

Stand-up comedy is a raunchy profession. — Aziz Ansari

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Steve Martin

My most persistent memory of stand - up is of my mouth being in the present and my mind being in the future: the mouth speaking the line, the body delivering the gesture, while the mind looks back, observing, analyzing, judging, worrying, and then deciding when and what to say next. Enjoyment while performing was rare - enjoyment would have been an indulgent loss of focus that comedy cannot afford. — Steve Martin

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Kliph Nesteroff

Frank Fay turned into the most consistent stand-up comic of the late 1920s and essentially changed the art form. Crowds and critics eventually came to accept a man standing alone, cracking wise. No longer did Fay bill himself as a 'Nut Monologist. — Kliph Nesteroff

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Denis Leary

Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the pretentious bubbles politicians and pundits and popes and pretenders try to float over our heads. — Denis Leary

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Jim Varney

I started to do a study on how not to do stand-up comedy. Yeah, it's lonely work. You die, you die alone. It's you, the light, and the audience. If you win, you win big. If you lose, you lose big time. — Jim Varney

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By David Letterman

Here's a woman, a real pioneer for other women looking for careers in stand-up comedy. And talk about guts - she would come out here and sit in this chair and say some things that were unbelievable - where you would have to swallow pretty hard ... but it was hilarious ... the force of her comedy was overpowering. — David Letterman

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Nolan North

I eventually became an actor, starting with doing stand-up comedy in New York and then theater wherever they would let me. Finally, I moved out here to Los Angeles and got on a show. — Nolan North

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Joy Behar

I keep my stand-up comedy notes in a pile on my desk. I don't organize my act. I keep myself in a state of confusion. It stresses me out, but I prefer creative chaos. — Joy Behar

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Shia Labeouf

I was doing stand up comedy when I was 11, that's how I got started; not because I wanted to do comedy, but because we were broke, living in Echo Park in Downtown Los Angeles, from 1986, I saw the Rodney King riots; my parents didn't really work. But I wanted a new backpack, that's how I got into this business - I wanted a new backpack. — Shia Labeouf

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Bob Saget

The Comedy Store - all three rooms were filled with 800 people in the room. And during that time, all these guys and some women, but mostly guys who weren't funny were doing stand up for a living; they weren't accountants, they were making $30-$50 grand a year on the road, or more. — Bob Saget

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Ron Funches

I was always interested in comedy, like when I was 5 years old. I watched 'I Love Lucy' and 'Benny Hill.' I would always joke around with my sister. My mom was into comedy, too. She would go to the video store and get a couple of movies and some stand-up comedians' tapes. — Ron Funches

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Al Pacino

Did you know I started out as a stand-up comic? People don't believe me when I tell them. That's how I saw myself, in comedy. — Al Pacino

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Mitch Hedberg

Stand-up is an art but since it's humor and it's funny - a lot of guys that don't think it's art are probably coming from the angle that they don't want to take it so seriously. I've always looked at it as an art but I don't look at it as a pretentious art. I understand it has to be taken lightly because it is just comedy in the end, but the good stand-up comics are someone with something to say. — Mitch Hedberg

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Jack Quaid

I'm in a sketch comedy group in school and I also do stand-up. — Jack Quaid

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Alessandra Torresani

I was a very special child. I did stand-up comedy. I did it all. My family didn't understand. 'Aren't you tired?' I'm like, 'No.' I'm like an insomniac, I hardly sleep, I'm always on the move. — Alessandra Torresani

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Johnny Vegas

I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again. — Johnny Vegas

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Bill Hicks

Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it. — Bill Hicks

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Deirdre O'Kane

Ultimately, I just decided stand-up comedy is a huge commitment, and if you want to be the best, you have to give it one hundred per cent. — Deirdre O'Kane

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Dane Cook

I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it. — Dane Cook

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Judah Friedlander

I've been doing stand-up just about every night since I started in 1989. It's my home base. But I'm into doing comedy in all mediums, platforms and situations. — Judah Friedlander

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Steve Martin

When I first started doing my stand-up act, I played the banjo, did comedy, magic tricks, juggled, read poetry. I stuck it all in. I didn't know you were supposed to just stand up and tell jokes. Essentially, that's what my act became: those five elements - except I dropped the poetry. — Steve Martin

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Phoebe Fox

I took a job in a comedy club - not doing stand-up comedy, because that's my idea of hell, but in the office - and I went traveling. — Phoebe Fox

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Felipe Esparza

I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes. — Felipe Esparza

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Mike Birbiglia

The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion. — Mike Birbiglia

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Dana Carvey

I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State. — Dana Carvey

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Mark Billingham

Whether you do stand-up comedy or write a story, you have a duty to deliver. As a comedian, you walk out on stage, and you have a minute to hook them, or they'll start booing. As a writer, it's very similar. A reader doesn't have time to say, 'I'll give him 50 pages, as it's not very good yet, but I hope it'll get better.' — Mark Billingham

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Jon Stewart

Doing stand-up comedy is in the middle of a traffic jam getting everybody moving again. — Jon Stewart

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Eugene Levy

I'm not a comedian. I don't do stand-up. I don't tell jokes. I'm a comedic actor, and approach my work that way. The comedy comes through the character. — Eugene Levy

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Louis C.K.

If I'm not on tour, I can run down to the comedy club and do a little stand-up. If you're an actor, you can't go - I guess there's forms of it. — Louis C.K.

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Kevin Hart

For me, the way I stay consistent is through stand-up comedy. — Kevin Hart

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By John Oliver

People really have come for a dialogue when they go to a stand-up show in the U.K. They say, 'I understand that you have now finished your little comedy monologue; now I have something to say regarding what I've just heard. — John Oliver

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Pauly Shore

My mom and dad are both in stand-up comedy, so that's where I started, that's where I got everything. My roots are holding the mic. — Pauly Shore

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By John DiMaggio

I had always been heavily influenced by stand-up. I was in a comedy team called Red Johnny And The Round Guy. — John DiMaggio

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Tom Green

It's exciting to be able to do something completely independent without anybody challenging it, and it's a big part of the reason why I'm enjoying doing the stand-up comedy, is I'm able to go out and interact with people one-on-one after the show. It's very punk-rock. — Tom Green

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Dane Cook

After you have loss in your life and after you experience something like losing your parents, the greatest gift of that was it prepared me for [anything]. Nothing else is as scary, and certainly stand-up comedy is not as scary as sitting there with your mom and having to have last conversations and things like that. It's heavy stuff, but it's enlightening because it makes me think I shouldn't be afraid of sharing ideas and thoughts with people. It's the yin and the yang of life. — Dane Cook

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By B. J. Porter

Some of the subject matter is a little less weighty. When we were writing for Mr. Show, we were talking about how is this going to stand up to the test of time. Every little piece had to be this brilliant comedy jewel. — B. J. Porter

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Mary Lynn Rajskub

I'm doing stand-up comedy. I'm working on a one-woman show about how I don't like my baby. There is a period of time where a baby is born where the next 3 months is harrowing. A lot of people say it's the most wonderful time, but for me it was harrowing. — Mary Lynn Rajskub

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Gary Gulman

I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy. — Gary Gulman

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Sandra Bullock

If you're gonna tell a story from beginning to end, I always think you have to have a great structure in a script. If it gets you excited and it's something you've never read before that's another plus. I think also with improv and that whole world of stand-up, that's a whole other organism of comedy that still needs a story, but it's more free-form. On the set, it is the combination of both those worlds coming together: a great script and an allowance to play with it. — Sandra Bullock

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Johnny Vegas

I am very proud of what 'Johnny' achieved in stand-up comedy because he believed entirely in giving an audience the best kick he could. But he was someone who was quite detrimental to my health, both emotionally and physically. — Johnny Vegas

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Darren Boyd

I don't come from a comedy background or a stand-up background, but I think that sometimes there's a misconception that an actor who works primarily in comedy is a comedian. There's nothing wrong with being a comedian, but I'm absolutely not that. I can't think of anything more terrifying than doing stand-up! — Darren Boyd

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By John Ridley

As an ex-stand up, I can tell you that a comedy club isn't a place you go looking to get the abuse you just can't seem to find in daily life. The stage is a performer's domain. You protect that domain. You are not on stage to take what's given just 'cause you're getting paid. If you are attacked, you retaliate. — John Ridley

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Hal Sparks

As a stand up, and often in acting, there is no place for the most intense feelings. Rage, genuine sorrow, naked hope ... These things don't fit on a comedy stage and if you act you'll get to express them once in a while. Music is a place for the intensely personal. — Hal Sparks

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Bill Maher

To me, being brave is an element that is so important with stand-up comedy. It's not essential. There are many comics who were just funny, and that's fine, too. But that's never been what I was trying to do in comedy. I was always trying to do something that involved not pandering to the audience. — Bill Maher

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Jim Jefferies

I always get a little bit pissed off when stand-up comedy is not recognised as being as good a craft as being an actor. We give Oscars to people and it's like, 'Aw, this person is the greatest person on earth', but being an actor is pretty easy in comparison to stand-up comedy. It's no surprise that several stand-up comics have gone on to become great actors. I don't know any great actors that have gone on to become great stand-up comics. — Jim Jefferies

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Dwayne Johnson

Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me. — Dwayne Johnson

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Joe Rogan

The two things I understand best are stand-up comedy and martial arts. And those things require an ultimate grasp of the truth. You have to be objective about your skills and abilities to compete in both. — Joe Rogan

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Ted Kooser

I like the poem on the page and not at the podium. I like to address the poem in peace and quiet, not on the edge of a folding chair with a full bladder. I can't stand hearing a poem that I can't see. I did a reading at Wayne State, and it ended with the comedy such occasions deserve. I'd seated myself on a piano bench, and discovered upon attempting to arise at the end that the varnish had softened and I was stuck fast. The hinge was to the front, under my knees, so that as I tried to get up, I merely opened the lid. — Ted Kooser

Stand Up Comedy Quotes By Jimmy Carr

As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing. — Jimmy Carr