Famous Quotes & Sayings

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes & Sayings

Enjoy reading and share 40 famous quotes about Really Funny Best Friend with everyone.

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Google+ Pinterest Share on Linkedin

Top Really Funny Best Friend Quotes

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Steven Wright

When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said. — Steven Wright

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Ralph Waldo Emerson

The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend or by fiend, by prayer or by wine. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Jon Acuff

Pastors are starting to get wily. When people tell my friend, 'I'm not being fed,' he replies, 'I'm prefectly happy to spoon feed my one-year-old. But if I'm still spoon-feeding him when he's five, we've got a problem. Here's a fork. Feed yourself. — Jon Acuff

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Kristen Wiig

When you're a woman in your thirties, and maybe you don't really know what you want to do with your life, but it seems like everyone else does, and your best friend gets married, and it forces you to look at yourself. I don't know if I described that in a very funny way. — Kristen Wiig

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Louis C.K.

I was talking to my friend and he said his girlfriend was mad at him. I said, "What happened?" He goes: "Well, I guess I, uh ... I guess I said something, and, uh ... and then she got her feelings hurt." That's a weird way to phrase it: "She got her feelings hurt. I said something, and then she ... " Could you more remove yourself from responsibility? "She got her feelings hurt." It's like saying, "Yeah, I shot this guy in the face, and then I guess he got himself murdered. I don't know what happened. He leaned into it." — Louis C.K.

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Paul Powers

Roadblock #5: It's Unpredictable
By and large, human beings don't like surprises. I know that I don't. Okay, maybe I like that rare piece of unexpected good news or a letter from a friend or a thoughtful thank-you. But I'm willing to bet that people in funny hats jumping out of dark closets are responsible for more heart attacks than expressions of unbridled delight. When the doorbell rings late at night, I'm under no illusion that it's the Publisher's Clearing House Prize Patrol!
This, most likely, goes back to our caveman past when a big, exciting surprise was apt to be something like an 800-pound,snarling, saber-toothed tiger about to rip the head from our shoulders. Surprises were usually bad news. (Think about this the next time you're crouching in the dark in somebody's front hall closet with their raincoats and umbrellas.) — Paul Powers

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Jenny Han

Screw you! You're a crappy best friend!!! — Jenny Han

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Natasha Friend

It's a funny thing, friendship. One minute a person is driving you crazy, making you want to shake them, and the next minute you realize what a crappy place the world would be without them in it. — Natasha Friend

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Mitch Hedberg

I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who has AIDS?". He says, "No". I say, "Cool, because you know me." — Mitch Hedberg

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Rachel Caine

Well, friend, I don't know about your tastes, but I tend to like it very bloody," Myrnin said. He shifted position, dragging Claire along like a rag doll without any effort at all. "Have we been introduced?"
"Probably not. Why, are you asking me out, sweetheart?"
"You're not my type, darling. Is this one yours?"
"No," Frank said, and looked at Shane, just in a quick flicker. "Let's say she's a friend of the family. — Rachel Caine

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By George Herbert

It is good to have friends both in Heaven and Hell. — George Herbert

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Cassandra Clare

very funny my sarcastic friend — Cassandra Clare

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Alyson Noel

Somewhere in the crowd was at least one potential friend who'd understand the fundamental value of goofing off.
Because if not, how boring would that be? — Alyson Noel

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Honore De Balzac

Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other. — Honore De Balzac

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Ben Bailey

I have a friend. He keeps trying to convince me he's a compulsive liar, but I don't believe him. — Ben Bailey

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Otto Von Bismarck

Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice. — Otto Von Bismarck

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Mitch Hedberg

When we were on acid, we would go into the woods, because there was less chance that you would run into an authority figure. But we ran into a bear. My friend Duane was there, raising his right hand, swearing to help prevent forest fires. He told me, "Mitchell, Smokey is way more intense in person!" — Mitch Hedberg

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Charles Caleb Colton

Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, the other to be buried. — Charles Caleb Colton

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Laini Taylor

My tiny scary friend is coming — Laini Taylor

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Augusten Burroughs

I realized I'd only seen him at night in dim, flattering restaurant lighting. The sun was not his friend. — Augusten Burroughs

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Mitch Hedberg

I made $3,000 opening for the Neville Brothers, and they paid me in cash. That was a bad situation, because I bought ridiculous stuff. I bought a snake bite emergency kit. Then I said to my friends, "Don't even worry about snakes anymore". My friend stepped on a worm, and I said, "Lay down!" — Mitch Hedberg

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Willie Garson

TV deals in very broad strokes. Like, 'Oh, that's my dumb friend', or, 'That's my funny friend.' A true best friend, a sidekick, has to be a little deeper then that. You have to feel like there's nothing either character won't do. That someone really, really has their back. — Willie Garson

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Paul Theroux

I had some good friends - really funny ones. My best friend was a guy called Apolo Nsibambi. We shared an office at the Extra Mural Department at Makerere, and then I got a promotion - became Acting Director - and I was his boss! I used to tease him for calling himself "Doctor" - he had a Ph. D. in political science. I mocked him for wearing a tie and carrying a briefcase and being pompous. I went to his wedding. He came to my wedding. And then I completely lost touch with him. I wonder what happened to him.' 'Doctor Nsibambi is the Prime Minister of Uganda. — Paul Theroux

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Andy Borowitz

If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them — Andy Borowitz

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Edwin Arlington Robinson

Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them. — Edwin Arlington Robinson

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Edward De Bono

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend. — Edward De Bono

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Richard LaGravenese

A friend of mine from college is married to Neil Levy, who started on 'Saturday Night Live' in the early days and is a really great guy and funny writer. — Richard LaGravenese

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Beth Ditto

My size has helped make me an amazing performer too. The cliche of the Funny Fat Friend: I absolutely was that character - I am that character ... It's a complicated bag of tools I acquired, and I've put them all to work onstage. — Beth Ditto

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Jay Leno

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog. — Jay Leno

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Lee Majors

Clint Eastwood's a good friend, too - he and I used to play in softball games together. — Lee Majors

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Bill Engvall

That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men — Bill Engvall

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Jimmy Carr

I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it. — Jimmy Carr

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Chic Murray

This friend of mine had a terrible upbringing. When his mother lifted him up to feed him, his father rented the pram out. Then, when they came into money later, his mother hired a woman to push the pram - and he's been pushed for money ever since. — Chic Murray

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Euripides

I hate it in friends when they come too late to help. — Euripides

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Scott Hamilton

What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a sissy in junior high school wanted me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet all the girls that I knew in figure skating. — Scott Hamilton

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Kathy Reichs

Move along," Hines said. "Last room down."
I spotted a fish tank halfway down the aisle. Dug into my pocket.
"Hi," I whispered. "Distraction in five. Four. Three ... "
I broke off as we neared the tank.
Hi spun. "Yo, warden. When do we eat around here? I'm hypoglycemic, plus I've got a hernia. And rabies simplex D. Basically, I need a ton of pills or my arms will fall off."
"Boy, you're on my last nerve."
As Hines glared at Hiram, I palmed the flash drive and dumped it into the fish tank. The yellow-and-black rectangle tumbled to the bottom.
So long, friend. Let's hope Shelton's email went through.
"It's a cultural thing," Hi was saying. "I think you're being very insensitive."
Hines snorted. "Do you want me to cuff you?"
"Kinda."
"Hi." I nodded. — Kathy Reichs

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Olive B. Persimmon

The first time someone asked me if I was pregnant, I was eating friend cheese at the Summit County Fair — Olive B. Persimmon

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Noel Fielding

When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool. — Noel Fielding

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Vladimir Nabokov

It had been in a Paris house, with many people around, and my dear friend Jules Darboux, wishing to do me a refined aesthetic favor, had touched my sleeve and said, "I want you to meet-" and led me to Nina, who sat in the corner of a couch, her body folded Z-wise, with an ashtray at her heel, and she took a long turquoise cigarette holder from her lips and joyfully, slowly exclaimed, "Well, of all people-" and then all evening my heart felt like breaking, as I passed from group to group with a sticky glass in my fist, now and then looking at her from a distance (she did not look ... ), and listening to scraps of conversation, and overheard one man saying to another, "Funny, how they all smell alike, burnt leaf through whatever perfume they use, those angular dark-haired girls," and as it often happens, a trivial remark related to some unknown topic coiled and clung to one's own intimate recollection, a parasite of its sadness. — Vladimir Nabokov

Really Funny Best Friend Quotes By Mitch Hedberg

A friend said to me, "I think the weather is trippy." I said, "No, man, it's not the weather that's trippy, perhaps it's the way we perceive it." And then I realized I just should have said, "Yeah." — Mitch Hedberg