Steve Kluger Quotes & Sayings

We make families of our own, Travis whispered in my arms on the last night we spent together. It starts with you and me and then it spreads. And whatever happens, there'll always be a part of me that's part of you. No matter what. — Steve Kluger

And if Henry Higgins is not the most reprehensible character ever written for the stage, that's only because somewhere, somehow, someone is composing a musical biography of Ronald Reagan — Steve Kluger

The only thing I know about Moses is him coming down from the mountain with the commandments and saying 'The good news is I got him down to 10. The bad news is adultery is still in. — Steve Kluger

Ale Perez I can't imagine why anyone would choose to be male. It's just so unsubtle. Women only have to deal with breasts, which are what they are. They don't suddenly stand up whenever they feel like it and begin pointing at something they want.

Augie Hwong You SO don't know what you're missing. — Steve Kluger

T.C.: Um, actually you just said "I live in a parking lot." You didn't mean to do that.
Lori: You've never seen traffic on Concord Street at eight o'clock in the morning. — Steve Kluger

Just because you discover that you may like somebody after all, it doesn't necessarily mean there's any attraction. — Steve Kluger

It's not just the people we love, but the people we let love us back who show us how high we can really soar. — Steve Kluger

Hucky was so dazzled by the view of the colored lights from Forty-seventh Street, he could only manage to ask me two questions: (1) "doesn't it look like Christmas?" and (2) "Why is that man peeing on the street?" So I told him (1) "Yes," and (2) "Because that's the way they do it in New York. But you have to have a license first." I had to lie through my teeth about the last part because I'd already jumped ahead to what he was planning when we got out of the cab. — Steve Kluger

Romance is a universally unspoken language understood by all living organism on this planet except heterosexual men. — Steve Kluger

It doesn't matter what people thinks of you as long as you know that your heart and head are in the right place. — Steve Kluger

Romance isn't just about roses or killing dragons or sailing a kayak around the world. It's also about chocolate chip cookies and sharing The Grateful Dead and James Taylor with me in the middle of the night, and believing me when I say that you could be bigger than both of them put together, and not making fun of me for straightening out my french fries or pointing my shoelaces in the same direction, and letting me pout when I don't get my own way, and pretending that if I play "Flower Drum Song" one more time you won't throw me and the record out the window — Steve Kluger

My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off. — Steve Kluger

Ale Perez What happened to your right hand?
TCKeller hucky made me finger-spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious untill he got it right. it took an hour and a half. i still can't hold a fork. what's the favour. — Steve Kluger

Mr. Herbert Demarest
Alexander Hamilton Jr. High
2236 Bedford Avenue
Brooklyn NY
Dear Mr Demarest,
Then why don't you give him 'Withering Heights'? At least Heathcoat knew how to kick some ass.
Chas. Banks
3d Base — Steve Kluger

TRAVIS: I never said I like boys!
GORDO: Ever beat off to Penthouse?
TRAVIS: No.
GORDO: Ever collect baseball cards?
TRAVIS: No.
GORDO: How old is Barbra Streisand?
TRAVIS: 36. Three weeks ago.
GORDO:What do you need - a fucking blueprint? — Steve Kluger

It would have served me right if I'd had a cerebral aneurysm on the spot. Instead, I forgot all about my foot
until we shoved the flat onto the stage. I think we broke my ankle. This is bullshit. I have finals to worry about. — Steve Kluger

Augie: Does everybody else know?
T.C.: About my epitaph?
Augie: About me being gay, you gink-head hoser-face!
T.C. Not everybody. There's a night watchman at a Dunkin Donuts just outside of Detroit. He doesn't know yet. — Steve Kluger

Say 'Kenmore Square'," I insist. "Kenmaw Sqway-ah." "Say 'Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina.'" "Nothing could be finah than to be in Caroliner.'" "You're doing that on purpose." "I'm not. I sway-ah. — Steve Kluger

This week my son thinks he's the Supremes.All of them. So we can scratch "straight"off the list. At least I hope we can. As a gay kid he'll be a natural leader. Put him in a macho bullshit environment and he's going to have a hard time. I don't want that to happen. (Let's also not forget Wei's immortal words to him nine minutes after he was born, when she first stared into those big brown eyes: "Oh, honey. Promose me you'll grow up to like boys. Because I don't want any other woman in your life except me.") — Steve Kluger

Papa, I'm ashamed that you think women are so simple. We can make decisions for ourselves too, you know. I'm not a child or a baby anymore, so I'm allowed to speak my mind. And if you don't wish to hear it, just tell me so and I'll go into another room-but I'll speak it anyway. I want this for myself as much as I've never wanted the diplomatic corps and I'm going to get it-even if I have to do it alone. Excuse me. — Steve Kluger

It's a lot easier to patch things up with somebody when he doesn't even know you were pissed off at him in the first place. — Steve Kluger

After you've spent four years kissing somebody's perineum, the subtext talks louder than words. — Steve Kluger

REAL LIFE vs THE MOVIES
Breaking Up in the Movies:
Boy #1: This isn't working out, is it?
Boy #2: Sort of not, huh?
Boy #1: You cant say we didn't try.
Boy #2: We sure did. Beside, we're still best friends.
Boy #1: Forever
Boy #2: This is terrific pasta
Breaking Up for Real:
Boy #1: Are you sleep?
Boy #2: Does it sound like it?
Boy #1: I'm sorry about the tuna fish
Boy #2: It isn't the tuna fish! It's the last six months!
Boy #1: You're an asshole.
Boy #2: Let go of my cock. — Steve Kluger

Here's to us. Who's like us? Damn few. — Steve Kluger

Ale: Are you manipulating me again? T.C.: Try not to fall for it. I dare you. — Steve Kluger

If I weren't so depressed, I'd kill myself. — Steve Kluger

Communicating with the federal government is like talking to a computer that's crashing. — Steve Kluger

Why do guys insist on wearing those odious jeans with their rear ends hanging down around their ankles? Do they really think it's hot? — Steve Kluger

When T falls in love, he does it with the whole world at once. — Steve Kluger

You got a boyfriend or something?"
I hate it when he figures me out before I have a chance to do it myself.
Especially when I've been counting on at least seven more years of denial. — Steve Kluger

Never, ever stop believing in magic, no matter how old you get. Because if you keep looking long enough and don't give up, sooner or later you're going to find Mary Poppins. — Steve Kluger

Oh, no. This has "marriage" written all over it. Travis, read my lips: remember that Fellini film with the prostitute who says that every new sunrise makes her a virgin? It doesn't work that way with me. Even the sun thinks I'm a slut. — Steve Kluger

Like there's actually a need for Greenland. You can get ice at 7-Eleven. — Steve Kluger

Now, the scene you just saw," I began, pointing to the stage.
"Was about you and T.C.," he concluded, nodding like he already knew.
"What??"
"She pretends she doesn't like him and he pretends he doesn't care."
I had no handy rebuttal to that particular allegation and wouldn't have been able to come up with one if I'd been given a week's notice. So I countered with the only safe reply I could think of.
"The toilet is not working properly. — Steve Kluger

Even though I didn't notice it while it was happening, I got reminded in ninth grade of a few things I guess I should have known all along.
1. A first kiss after five months means more than a first kiss after five minutes.
2. Always remember what it was like to be six.
3. Never, ever stop believing in magic, no matter how old you get. Because if you keep looking long enough and don't give up, sooner or later you're going to find Mary Poppins. And if you're reall lucky, maybe even a purple balloon. — Steve Kluger

What do you mean Taurus? he frowns. I'm not a Taurus.

You were born on the cusp, I remind him. Jason merely shrugs.

Shows what you know, Scotty, I was born in Ohio.

I can take him anywhere but out. — Steve Kluger

A first kiss after five months means more than a first kiss after five minutes. — Steve Kluger

Falling hard for somebody makes you do things you never thought you'd do before. Like pulling off an A in History or finally facing the truth about yourself — Steve Kluger