Sterling Archer Quotes & Sayings
Enjoy the top 9 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Sterling Archer.
Famous Quotes By Sterling Archer
Memoirs? No, we want a how-to book. For spies." "A how-to book?! A book can't teach someone how to be equal parts deadly and sexy! That's like asking a cobra to write a book about how to be a cobra! — Sterling Archer
Well, also ask yourself this: do you know what Steve Miller looks like? No, you don't. Nobody does. He could be standing right next to you on the subway platform, playing "Jungle Love" on a custom Stratocaster with his name inlaid on the fretboard in mother-of-pearl, and you still wouldn't know who he is. Because as far as you or anybody else knows, Steve Miller is a big blue space-horse with a mane made out of orange space-flames. — Sterling Archer
Did I make you spend so much time at the office? Did I make you play three rounds of golf last weekend? Answer: No, I didn't. I was too busy pinning your wife's ankles to her ears. — Sterling Archer
They say stress is the silent killer. But poison darts are also pretty damn quiet. — Sterling Archer
And if whatever you're shooting doesn't die after you pump eight thirty-two-caliber slugs into it, it's probably a dragon. — Sterling Archer
No, it's not [a book] Lana. It's an allegorical novella about Stalinism by George Orwell, and spoiler alert, IT SUCKS. — Sterling Archer
If I wanted to work hard, I'd be a farmer. — Sterling Archer
Seriously, did I miss something? Did John F. Kennedy walk into the Oval Office one day, only to find Fidel Castro lighting his Cohiba with the American flag while teabagging Jackie? — Sterling Archer
I'm pretty sure if I stopped drinking for even one day, the accumulated hangover would probably kill me. — Sterling Archer