Jimmy O'phelan Quotes & Sayings

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat. — Jimmy Carr

Too many of us now tend to worship self indulgence and consumption. — Jimmy Carter

There is a novella inside every anus; there is a broken heart inside every mind; there is a bisected hug inside every arm; there is a pun inside every belly. "The Great American Novel," thinks the typographer, who at this point is severely constipated. He tries to squeeze out an 'o' but can't. "The Great American Navel," he says, then waits for a laugh. — Jimmy Chen

Ten Delta Airlines baggage handlers were arrested for smuggling drugs into Detroit. Yeah, you can tell Delta was involved, because the drugs were supposed to be smuggled into Chicago. — Jimmy Fallon

Ballplayers who are first to the dining room are usually last in batting averages. — Jimmy Cannon

Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him. — P. J. O'Rourke

They're fathers second, Jimmy said. They're men first. — Nuala O'Faolain

Today, President Obama finally met with BP's CEO, Tony Hayward, but the meeting was only scheduled 20 minutes. Call me crazy, but I think it should take more time to discuss an oil spill than it does to get your oil checked. — Jimmy Fallon

If it doesn't work out there will never be any doubt that the pleasure was worth all the pain. — Jimmy Buffett

Jimmy Grants is my first stop every time I go home to Australia. They make the best souvlakis you have ever tasted. — Mallory Jansen

The word philosophy simply means a pursuit of wisdom, the purpose of life, and a search for Truth. However, this quest, because it originates with man, can never find the answers. In fact, man cannot reach God or know God by intellectual pursuit. — Jimmy Swaggart

There's always enough to fill up the headlines in a newspaper, the evening news broadcasts. I'm always grateful when I get the weekly news magazines on Monday morning and don't see my picture on the front. — Jimmy Carter

Too much comedy is filthy these days. There's nothing they won't say. I like Jimmy Carr, but I don't like the language he uses. I don't understand why he feels it necessary; I find it extremely offensive. — Bobby Davro

MSNBC host Lawrence O'Donnell is saying Donald Trump lied when he said he made $20 million a year off his 'Apprentice' series on NBC. NBC also denied Trump's claim, saying, 'We don't have $20 million. We're NBC.' — Jimmy Fallon

Over on the Democratic side, Martin O'Malley recently spoke about the need for Wall Street reform and said that he isn't running for president to be quote, 'wined and dined' by executives. Then Chris Christie said, 'And I am also not running to be wined.' — Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy O'Malley sat in the commander's office, knowing that one day, he'd move into the space. Today, however, he was waiting to hear why he'd been summoned. He hadn't been a detective long enough to screw up, so the reason eluded him. He'd been working doggedly on some property crimes that went nowhere. Most of the detectives from his class had gone on to investigate violent crimes. He'd been relegated to burglary and vandalism. — Shannyn Schroeder

Thank you ... adjustable baseball caps with no logo on the front and mesh netting in the back, for being a great way to say, 'Hi, I'm over 80 years old.' — Jimmy Fallon

But the adjectives change," said Jimmy. "Nothing's worse than last year's adjectives. — Margaret Atwood

I've done every tour with them since then and will always be with them as long as they're together. — Jimmy Carl Black

Jimmy Valentine looked into her eyes, forgetting at once what he was. He became another man. — O. Henry

The friction began at this first meeting. O'Neill was not initially impressed with Reagan and said to him, "You've been a governor of a state, but a governor plays in the minor leagues. You're in the big leagues now." (O'Neill had said the same thing to Jimmy Carter four years before.) Reagan replied, "Oh, you know, no problem there." Despite the genial response, O'Neill's comment represented the very kind of Washington haughtiness that set Reagan's teeth on edge. Aides to the president-elect were incensed. — Steven F. Hayward

Wikipedia is first and foremost an effort to create and distribute a free encyclopedia of the highest possible quality to every single person on the planet in their own language. Asking whether the community comes before or after this goal is really asking the wrong question: the entire purpose of the community is precisely this goal. — Jimmy Wales

Some of Jimmy Stewart's performance in 'It's A Wonderful Life' is some of the most disturbing performance he ever did, when he falls apart and when he breaks down. — David O. Russell

What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball they are attacking their opponents goal. — Jimmy Hill

Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that we elected this doofus. He was a bright enough guy and sort of well-meaning. But he was about as prepared to be president of the United States as your goofy old uncle, you know, the one that memorises baseball statistics. — P. J. O'Rourke

We haven't had an agenda for American cities probably since at least Jimmy Carter. We have left cities to fend for themselves. — Martin O'Malley

The drug culture has shaped at least one major change since the Sixties; It became the basis for overloading our prisons. — Jimmy Carter

My role is the shepherd's role. The shepherd is the one who opens the gate and allows the flock to go through and whoever opens the gate has to close it, and the gate is not yet closed. — Jimmy Cliff

It turns out a lot of people don't get it. Wikipedia is like rock'n'roll; it's a cultural shift. — Jimmy Wales

I'm a creative consultant, whatever that means. — Jimmy Kimmel

Thank you slow-walking family in front of me on the sidewalk. No, please, take your time. And definitely spread out, too, so you create a barricade of idiots. I am so thankful that you forced me to walk into the street and risk getting hit by a car in order to pass you so I could resume walking at a normal human pace. — Jimmy Fallon

Don't make me kill you at this hour in the morning Jimmy. It's not civilized. — Kylie Scott

You've never had a job that you thought was secure. You don't think the Tonight Show is risk free. Especially when you saw what happened with your buddy Conan O'Brien. There is always a Plan B.I am ready to apply to the post office. — Jimmy Fallon

Christine O'Donnell released a commercial in which she says, 'I'm not a witch.' That's pretty good, though not as effective as her opponent's slogan, 'I'm not Christine O'Donnell.' — Jimmy Fallon

James "Knockout Jimmy" O'Brien, Granite Fall's very own boxing legend - a title he held until a young groupie poked holes in the condom she made him wear "for protection."
My brother was born nine months later, fists already swinging. — Kate Avelynn

Most of us had never seen a sober redneck before, and we have the Reagan Landslide to testify that none of us ever wants to see one again. It was a horrifying apparition. And ever since Jimmy Carter, all of us rednecks have had to be very careful to be drunk rednecks lest we turn into some kind of awful creature with big buck teeth and a State Department full of human-rights yahoos. — P. J. O'Rourke

If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself. — Jimmy Carr

Even Jimmy Carter can't be wrong all the time. — P. J. O'Rourke

Even in a dream, even at a posh ball, the Nac Mac Feegle knew how to behave. You charged in madly, and you screamed ... politely.
"Lovely weather for the time o' year, is it not, ye wee scunner!"
"Hey, jimmy, ha' ye no got a pommes frites for an ol'pal?"
"The band is playin' divinely, I dinna think!"
"Make my caviar deep-fried, wilya? — Terry Pratchett

[Writing] is edit, edit, edit. It's almost like getting a boat ready to go to sea. You've still got a countless number of things left to fix, but you've just got to go, "O.K., everybody get on the boat. We're going, ready or not." — Jimmy Buffett

At four o'clock in the morning most people have been asleep for hours, but at four o'clock in the morning the night-club children of a few years ago were just getting hot. The band jazzed at full blast. The air was so thick you could pick it up in handfulls and through it around like snowballs. The dance-floors were crowded with couples who couldn't do anything but wiggle hips and feet. — Jimmy Durante

If you start paying attention to Tom Hanks, you realize that he's not the Jimmy Stewart of our age. He's a very nice man. Everyone that I know that knows him says he's a great father. But, let's not pretend that he's something that he's not. He's just like George Clooney. He's a very radical leftist. — Bill O'Reilly

First Lieutenant Jimmy Cross carried letters from a girl named Martha, a junior at Mount Sebastian College in New Jersey. They were not love letters, but Lieutenant Cross was hoping, so he kept them folded in plastic at the bottom of his rusack. In the late afternoon, after a day's march, he would dig his foxhole, wash his hands under a canteen, unwrap the letters, hold them with the tips of his fingers, and spend the last hour of light pretending. — Tim O'Brien

No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession. — P. J. O'Rourke

O'Neill was perceptive enough to understand the country had a new leader that it wanted to believe in. After the tragedy of Dallas, after the quicksand of Vietnam, the scandal of Watergate, and the "malaise" of Jimmy Carter, it needed one. — Chris Matthews

When a man died, there had to be blame. Jimmy Cross understood this. You could blame the war, You could blame the idiots who made the war. You could blame Kiowa for going to it. You could blame the rain. You could blame the river. You could blame the field, the mud, the climate. You could blame the enemy. You could blame the mortar rounds. You could blame people who were too lazy to read a newspaper, who were bored by the daily body counts, who switched channels at the mention of politics. You could blame whole nations. You could blame God. You could blame the munitions makers or Karl Marx or a trick of fate of an old man in Omaha who forgot to vote. — Tim O'Brien

I think I land somewhere between Scorsese and Capra in what I'm drawn to emotionally; I'm drawn to very intense emotion. Capra freaked people out when they saw Jimmy Stewart lose it in 'It's a Wonderful Life.' — David O. Russell

I realized with alarm that I hadn't learned how to save anyone at all, not Dr. Sanders or Lazarus or Jimmy or Saul or Anna O., and that what I was thrilled about was learning how to save myself. — Samuel Shem

The film 'Boyhood' won the Golden Globe for best drama. It follows one guy's journey over the course of 12 years - or as Mitt Romney calls that, 'running for president.' — Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy suspected him of wanting to make Grandmaster, not because it meant anything but just because it was there. — Margaret Atwood

You can do almost anything if you put your mind to it. Be it the perfect murder, robbing a bank or owning your own company. I don't go along with Prince Charles' maxim that everyone should know their place and limitations. — Stephen Richards

The first show that my dad and my mom did together was for, was a comedy series, a short form that went in the middle of late-night news, and then through all of their career, it was always the "Ed Sullivan Show," it was a variety act, my dad was on the "Jimmy Dean Show" for a few years. — Brian Henson

After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead. — Jimmy Carr

I can only say the first thing that pops into my mind is I remember, years ago, seeing kind of a has-been country singer working - when I first moved to Nashville - in a bar in a Holiday Inn. — Jimmy Buffett

Mirror that lies, mirror that lies, that can't be me in the gorilla disguise. — Jimmy Buffett

Now you know that you can't go wrong ... If you start each day with a song. — Jimmy Durante

I didn't work for Jimmy Carter all those years to go to cocktail parties. I was there as a political adviser, a short-order cook, to work on topical matters. — Hamilton Jordan

People aren't too much different from roses, Jimmy. They both need the sunshine of encouragement, proper feeding, water, tender loving care, skilled pruning and room to grow. — Lila Peiffer

Back in East St. Louis, tennis wasn't the real thing. If you weren't playing baseball, basketball, football, you were kind of on the outside. — Jimmy Connors

Jimmy Page is an excellent producer. Led Zeppelin I and II are classics. As a player he's very good in the studio, but I've never seen him play well live. He's sloppy. He plays like he's got a broken hand and he's two years old. If you put out a good album and play like a two year old, what's the purpose? — Eddie Van Halen

We've become, now, an oligarchy instead of a democracy. I think that's been the worst damage to the basic moral and ethical standards to the American political system that I've ever seen in my life. — Jimmy Carter

My mother insisted that her children read. — Jimmy Buffett

Jimmy Carr is a very nice man who works incredibly hard and has donated loads of money to good causes. He's done absolutely nothing illegal. — Rufus Hound

I think you just look for the person you have the most fun with. And that's enough. You realize, "Wait, I can just keep having fun with her forever?" Yes, you can do that. That is the key. — Jimmy Fallon

For some reason, the movies in the '40s have the best personalities: Jimmy Stewart, Gary Cooper, Betty Grable, Gene Tierney, and all those people. For some reason, I seem to gravitate more toward the '40s, and I don't necessarily know why. I just love the people. — Robert Osborne

Testing oneself is best when done alone. — Jimmy Carter

To describe my scarce leisure time in today's terms, I always default to reading. — Jimmy Buffett

If there's a heaven for me, I'm sure it has a beach attached. — Jimmy Buffett

He's hit it fat ... It will probably be short ... It just hit the front edge of the green ... It's got no chance ... It's rolling toward the cup ... Well I'll be damned! — Jimmy Demaret

Stop seeing socialists and anti-Americans as Democrats. When a Michael Moore compares beheaders to our own Minutemen and laments that too many Democrats were in the World Trade Center, he deserves no platform alongside Wesley Clark or a seat next to Jimmy Carter or praise for his pseudo-dramas from high Democrats. — Victor Davis Hanson

We have been involved in more wars, on a bilateral basis, since the United Nations was formed than any other country by far. — Jimmy Carter

The old movie stars like Bogart, James Cagney, Jimmy Stewart, they weren't this gorgeous, striking six-foot man who's rippled with muscles. — Jack Huston

A rabid sports fan is one that boos a TV set. — Jimmy Cannon

There's music that can affect people in their lives, and they will always relate to the point that they heard it and experienced it, either if you're playing it or you're receptive, as an audience. — Jimmy Page

After facing backlash from customers, Subway says it will remove a chemical in its bread that is also found in yoga mats. Some people were like, 'You mean I've been eating a dangerous chemical?' While most people were like, 'You mean I can eat my yoga mat?' — Jimmy Fallon

When we go to the Bible we should keep in mind that the basic principles of the Bible are taught by God, but written down by human beings deprived of modern day knowledge. So there is some fallibility in the writings of the Bible. But the basic principles are applicable to my life and I don't find any conflict among them. — Jimmy Carter

I would watch Gonzalez play and he mesmerized you. It would be like looking into the flame of a fire. You know you couldn't take your eyes off him because you never knew what he would do next. — Jimmy Connors

I couldn't relate to kid stuff. 'Jimmy doesn't like me!' Who cares? I was worried we didn't have gas money or food. Those were my concerns. — Leighton Meester

Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is? — Frank Scully

Lots of people think it was Jimmy Page who had the first fuzzbox. It wasn't, No! it wasn't me either. — Jim Sullivan

Days passed until they threatened to make a week, and Jimmy could glimpse how weeks might eventually become months. Outside the steel door in the upper room, the men outside were trying to get in. On the radio, they yelled and argued. Jimmy listened sometimes, but all they talked about were the dead and dying and forbidden things, like the great outside. — Hugh Howey

Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I've had a good life all the way. — Jimmy Buffett

Apparently, the Obamas chose New York City because they've gotten so used to people trying to break into their house. — Jimmy Fallon

It's not necessary to fear the prospect of failure but to be determined not to fail. — Jimmy Carter