Hunting Humor Quotes & Sayings

We watched Vamps hunting Vamps, Vamp hunters and Witches torching Vamps, teenage girls kissing Vamps. And we giggled and swooned through it all. — Shelly Crane

I had this dream about you. We went hunting up in the mountains and I caught a unicorn. You told me now I know how it feels to be you. — Crystal Woods

Was I the only one who became unsettled and swoonish at the sight of a large, inverted carcass hanging from a tree, its vital organs strewn about like children's toys, the occasional pack of hunting dogs fighting over a lung, another one looking for a quiet place to enjoy the severed head? It happened all the time and nobody else seemed bothered. People just walked up to the bloody carcasses and carried on entirely normal conversations, as though a man wasn't standing there squeezing deer feces out of a large intestine and small children weren't playing football with a liver. — Harrison Scott Key

Who is this lady?" he asked me.
"Britomartis," I said. "The Lady of Nets."
Leo looked dubious. "Does that include basketball and the Internet?"
"Just hunting and fishing nets," I said. — Rick Riordan

But it isn't hunger that drives millions of armed American Males to forests and hills every autumn, as the high incidence of heart failure among the hunters will prove. Somehow the hunting process has to do with masculinity, but I don't quite know how. — John Steinbeck

Greyson is gone."
A high-pitched ringing started in my ears.
"Dead?" I asked, not at all ashamed at the tiny bit of hope that leaked into my voice.
"No. Escaped. He'll be hunting you."
With that as the option, I liked dead better. — Devon Monk

You don't have the courage of a half-bred mongrel. — Patricia Briggs

So, anyway." Jackal's impatient voice broke through our cold standoff. "Not to interrupt this riveting family drama, but are we going to go hunting anytime soon, or are you two going to glare at each other until the sun comes up? — Julie Kagawa

Shut up," I snapped. "This is not the time. What part of this situation seems like a joke to you?"
Lohka pulled up his knees, giving a feeble, half-manic little laugh. "Oh, maybe just the idea that some soul-devouring being of chaos could be waiting anywhere to finish destroying my life," he said. "That's kind of hilarious, you know. Have you ever had a soul-devouring being of chaos hunting you down so it could finish eating you?"
"No," I said. "I'm sorry, Lohka."
"That's nice," he muttered.
"What about the part where this soul-devouring being of chaos seems to have a taste for me at the moment?" Zhabyr asked. "Can we worry about that, now? Because I kind of already am. — J. Leigh Bralick

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. — P.G. Wodehouse

If the food supply runs out, try trapping or hunting animals. For most people, this won't be easy. If you can't catch any animals, it's time to throw a Donner party. — Andrew Shaffer

Buck ambles out of the locker room with a towel draped across his bare shoulders and his hockey pants on, thank the Lord. The amount of fur he sports makes him resemble a matted yeti. — Helena Hunting

With his eyes and those hands there won't be a woman safe in all the world when he starts hunting after the ladies.'
'Courting, dear,' my father corrected gently.
'Semantics,' she shrugged. — Patrick Rothfuss

The white man comes, pale as the dawn, with a load of thought, with a slumbering intelligence as a fire raked up, knowing well what he knows, not guessing but calculating; strong in community, yielding obedience to authority; of experienced race; of wonderful, wonderful common sense; dull but capable, slow but persevering, severe but just, of little humor but genuine; a laboring man, despising game and sport; building a house that endures, a framed house. He buys the Indian's moccasins and baskets, then buys his hunting-grounds, and at length forgets where he is buried and plows up his bones. — Henry David Thoreau

Charity groped for the phone, coming up with it at last and croaking "hello" in a voice that sounded exactly like a bullfrog's mating call. Which made a kind of twisted sense
last night she'd been hunting for a mate as well. — Elizabeth Jane Howard

In a werewolf pack, you cannot interfere with the mate choice of a clan fellow. You cannot intentionally harm that werewolf's chosen mate. You are not, however, required to help that person should he find himself in a life - threatening situation.
Somehow, Zeb had managed to stumble into several such situations in the few months since he 'd been engaged to Jolene. He'd had several hunting "accidents" while visiting the McClaine farm, even though he didn't hunt. The brakes on his car had failed while he was driving home from the farm - twice. Also, a running chainsaw mysteriously fell on him from a hayloft.
He would never get that pinkie toe back. — Molly Harper

The Czechs are downright crazy about mushrooms! In late summer and autumn, a foreigner might even get the impression that the number of sponge-hunting Czechs roaming about in the forests with a punnet largely exceeds the possible number of mushrooms. — Terje B. Englund

Well, it is a hunt for him, isn't it? Hunting, capturing. Power. I watch the telly. I know how these serial killers work.' He tapped his chest. 'Just call me Patrick Jane.'

Jacquie looked at him fondly. His eyes were either side of his nose and that was where his similarity to Simon Baker ended. 'No, darling,' she said gently. 'You're mental, please try and remember. He's the Mentalist. — M.J. Trow

You have this novel idea of the world, like it's made up of ladder hunting and test taking and framed plaques, all of which mean nothing to your current position. I know enough to know that you are dumb enough to believe in your ability, and that my friend is why you are given the opportunities to rise. — J.M. August

Someday you'll remember what I said and you'll thank me for it.
Francie wished adults would stop telling her that. Already the load of thanks in the future was weighing her down. She figured she'd have to spend the best years of her womanhood hunting up people to tell them that they were right and to thank them. — Betty Smith

Our first point of discussion is the hunt. ( ... ) My idea is to start the film with an image of the vixen locked out of her lair which has been plugged up. Her terror as she's pursued across the country. This is a big deal. It means training a fox from birth or dressing up a dog to look like a fox. Or hiring David Attenbrorough, who probably knows a few foxes well enough to ask a favour. — Emma Thompson

If by fawning, you mean he's a deer, I have a gun, and it's hunting season, then I guess you're right. — Sage Kafsky

There is a crucifix, a few cloves of garlic, a wooden stake, a hammer, a blob of Silly Putty, and a pocketknife. "You do realize these people aren't vampires, right?" I say when Sam walks back in. "Yeah, but you never know. They're probably crazy, like you said." "And even if we were hunting vampires, what the hell is the Silly Putty for?" He shrugs. "Just want to be prepared. — Pittacus Lore

Violet: "Are you guilting me into coming?" I glare over the rim of my mug.
Mom: "Not at all. I'm just throwing out hypotesticals."
Violet: "I cough-choke. "Do you mean hypotheticals?"
Mom: "That's what I said. — Helena Hunting

You won't even take your bow? Are you planning to throttle a moose with your bare hands, then?"
"I've a knife in my boot," she said, and then wondered, for a moment, if she could throttle a moose with her bare hands. — Kristin Cashore

Lampaxa Vorheridine? My Latin was never very good. What does that Translate to?"

"Um, nothing. It wasn't named by an Earth scientist. According to the database it was named by a Cheblookan aboard a frieghter when it stopped here looking for fresh food. His friend was killed by one as they searched the swamp for Greppers. After the hunting party killed the creature and determined that it was safe to eat if processed properly, the Cheblookan reportedly named it after his mother-in-law, Lampaxa Vorheridine. he said it sort of reminded him of her, even though they look nothing alike. — Thomas DePrima

Okay, don't get mad." She pulled out my stake
or at least something that looked like my stake,only the hilt of it was now covered in bright blue crystals and diamond-like gems.
"You Bedazzled my stake?"
"Um ... Surprise," April said, "Just because you're hunting nasty stuff doesn't mean you can't do it in style. — Bree Despain

I had a dream about you. We were actors in a horror movie and I was hunting you down with a knife. When I finally cornered you the director yelled "Cut".... What? I can't be blamed for following instructions. — Georgia Saratsioti

Artemis grit her teeth. "I need a favor. I have some hunting to do, alone. I need you to take my companions to Camp Half-Blood."
"Sure Sis!" then he raised his hands in a "stop everything" gesture. "I feel a haiku comIng on."
The Hunters all groaned. Apparently they'd met Apollo before.
He cleared his throat and held up one hand dramatically.
"Green grass breaks through snow.
Artemis pleads for my help.
I am so awesome. — Rick Riordan

Hunter was bipolar, for crying out loud. He had checked into the nut house on more than one occasion and, honestly, I was already starting to feel the anxiety of living together. I would need to get my martial arts skills up to par to deal with this lunatic. I knew that I would also need to pick up a copy of Kill Bill at my next convenience and take notes as I watched, just in case a fight happened to break out in the kitchen. Also, at night, I had decided that I would need to sleep with either a small pistol or a flamboyant hunting knife under my pillow for a quick grab, in case he skipped his meds one night and decided to kill me. I needed to be prepared for the unthinkable. — Chase Brooks

This is my favorite part of the hunting. Getting to know them . Hearing their legends. I want them to be as large in my mind as they can possibly be, and when I see them I don't want to be disappointed. — Kendare Blake

Charles was most comfortable by himself or, if that wasn't possible, with his pack in the wild. Talking for hours in a crowded auditorium was not on any list of things he enjoyed - or things he was good at. At least no one had died. Yet. — Patricia Briggs

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her. — Ellen DeGeneres

Looks like I missed a party. Good. I wasn't really in the mood to off demons this evening. Haven't had my coffee yet. (Jared)
You drink coffee? (Stryker)
No, but it was my pathetic attempt at humor. (Jared) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I've never really learned how to do this. When we hunted, we had people to take care of what we caught."

"I thought you hunted with birds."

"We did."

"So the birds caught the animals, other people cleaned them... When you say 'hunting,' do you really mean 'going for a walk'? — Kate Sherwood