Quotes & Sayings About Humour And Wisdom

Try jogging when following your heart, it's healthier — Benny Bellamacina

Always dip your toe in the past before stepping into the future — Benny Bellamacina

Give a man a proverb
and he'll muse for a moment.
Teach a man to find the verb in every proverb
and he'll walk in wisdom for a lifetime. — Cameron Semmens

If you're going to buy a castle, make sure you get on the property extension ladder. — Benny Bellamacina

All I really, really want to do is find a very, very fine chocolate store that I can walk into and then figure out how in the world one manages to pick out just a few chocolates out of all those very many chocolates! If I am one day able to walk into a fine chocolate store and know for certain which chocolates I want, when that happens, I will believe myself to be accomplished! — C. JoyBell C.

When the loneliest place on earth is in your mind, move out! — Benny Bellamacina

For he had acquired a lore in his youth which taught him ever to avoid the aged when merry plans were afoot; for the aged would come with their wisdom and slowness of thought, and other plans would be made, and there would be, at least, delay. — Lord Dunsany

O Great Swami of the East, your wisdom has pierced the miasma. — Jonathan Kellerman

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad. — Norman Wisdom

If you can't laugh at yourself, maybe you're not funny — Benny Bellamacina

If you forget who you've become remember who you are — Benny Bellamacina

God in his infinite wisdom
Did not make me very wise-
So when my actions are stupid
They hardly take God by surprise. — Langston Hughes

You don't need a big pen to write a tall story — Benny Bellamacina

It was time to take the best bits from them all and build something delicious: the spirituality of the Hindus, the community spirit and family ties of the Muslims, the ancient wisdom of the Chinese, the love of freedom and equality of the Afro-Caribbeans, the work ethic of the Jews, the bloody-mindedness and wry humour of the Australians, the blarney of the Irish, the passion of the Scots, the unorthodoxy of the Welsh, combined with our own English love of justice, fair play and democracy. Put them all together and you had a vision for the future, a direction, which Bokononism could exploit. — Bernard Hare

Never say no to now — Benny Bellamacina

The sun doesn't live in England; it comes here on holiday when we're all at work. — Benny Bellamacina

Achieve everything and fail at the rest — Benny Bellamacina

If it's taking to long to get up the career ladder, get a career lift. — Benny Bellamacina

You go to church to respect God, not the priest. By not going to church, you disrespect God, not the priest.
- Don Camillo — Giovannino Guareschi

where actual evidence had been a bit sparse he had, in the best traditions of the keen ethnic historian, inferred from revealed self-evident wisdom*
*Made it up
and extrapolated from associated sources** **had read a lot of stuff that other people had made up, too. — Terry Pratchett

I miss my grandmother every day. I miss her vitality, her interest in the lives of others, her courage and determination, her perceptive wisdom, her calm in the face of all difficulties, her steadfast belief in the British people and above all her unstoppable sense of mischievous humour. — Prince Charles

If you want to leave a big mark in life, make sure you've got a bigger rubber — Benny Bellamacina

Always blow your own trumpet, blowing someone else's is unhygienic — Benny Bellamacina

Sometimes it's better to fail with pride, than to succeed at a price — Benny Bellamacina

Give a man a fish
and a kettle,
and he may never feel its HIS kettle of fish.
Teach a man to fish around for his OWN kettle,
and that's when you get
a tasty home-made fish soup
that everyone can enjoy! — Cameron Semmens

I felt like an animal, and animals don't know sin, do they? — Jess C. Scott

The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache. — Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Ray, don't get mad just because I say yes to life. I like to keep myself available to the universe, because it brings me wisdom. Maybe you don't just want me to soar. — Douglas Coupland

All hobbies suck, but if you keep at it, you might find at the end that you've managed to kill some precious time. — Homer Simpson

When the road ahead seems impossible, start the engine — Benny Bellamacina

One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably this age-old situation. — P.G. Wodehouse

Life wasn't too bad. The trouble with Man was, even while he was having a good time, he didn't appreciate it. Why, thought Milligan, this very moment might be the happiest in me life. The very thought of it made him miserable. — Spike Milligan

It hardly needs explaining at length, I think, how much authority or beauty is added to style by the timely use of proverbs. In the first place who does not see what dignity they confer on style by their antiquity alone? ... And so to interweave adages deftly and appropriately is to make the language as a whole glitter with sparkles from Antiquity, please us with the colours of the art of rhetoric, gleam with jewel-like words of wisdom, and charm us with titbits of wit and humour. — Desiderius Erasmus

I've met at least three Great Beast 666's over the last few years, and not one of them had even one-tenth of the wit, humour, wisdom or panache that I would expect from a figure of Crowleyan proportions. Isn't it curious how those who strive to be someone else are very selective; yes, I can see that you've got the heroin habit and mastered the art of beating up on your 'scarlet women,' but you haven't been extradited [sic] from any countries, you haven't published anything, nor have you climbed any mountains of late. — Phil Hine

lose weight, eat backwards. — Benny Bellamacina

Frame everything and some of it will become art. — Benny Bellamacina

Always take a compliment, even if it's not yours — Benny Bellamacina

Always recycle wasted time — Benny Bellamacina

No plaque reminds the passer-by of these glories, although there should be one; for those who invent biscuits bring great pleasure to many. — Alexander McCall Smith

The object of Sufi preparatory study, however, being to illustrate, expose and out-manoeuvre superficial ambition. — Idries Shah

You can't always be right, but you can be wrong a lot less — Benny Bellamacina

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny. — Stephen Hawking

Edward, Edward," he said with a patronising smile, "there are no unanswered questions of any relevance. Every question that we need to ask has been answered fully. If you can't find the correct answer then you are obviously asking the wrong question. — Jasper Fforde

Looking at a king's mouth, ' said an old man, 'one would think he never sucked at his mother's breast. — Chinua Achebe

A man of the mouth, formerly the most oral of surgeons, Henry had the habit of giving his lady patients laughing gas, putting them out, then fiercely fucking them, while tugging on their wisdom teeth. His getting caught was a slip of the tongue, so to speak. While he was buried deep in a muff, some sharp thing slipped, and his prize patient, Mrs Mavis Gilette, woke to find a harpoon hole in her cheek and her lost licker languishing on the floor. — A.M. Homes

Being under pressure is great, if it's all in the right place. — Benny Bellamacina

Best that all mischief be undertaken behind a squeaky door — Benny Bellamacina

Christmas comes but once a year, starts in August ends in July — Benny Bellamacina

Never make an excuse for going to the pub, save it for leaving. — Benny Bellamacina

We all have dream cars,dream houses and jobs but as soon as we stop dreaming we wake up go take a pee. the world is waiting out here don't just dream,make it a dream. — Mohlalefi J Motsima

Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch. — Lili St. Crow

Question everything, unless it's the answer — Benny Bellamacina

Sleepwalking is the perfect exorcise for lazy people — Benny Bellamacina

Sometimes being given the elbow can turn out to be the best hand. — Benny Bellamacina

If you're given a dirty look, wash it and give it back. — Benny Bellamacina

There is a tale of a man who found on the road a large stone bearing the words, "Under me lies a great truth." The man strained to turn the stone over and finally succeeded. On the bottom was written, "Why do you want a new truth when you do not practice what you already know? — Eknath Easwaran

I had everything summed up in a nutshell unfortunately I lost the nut. — Benny Bellamacina

I don't like good habits. They strike me as being so easily broken. — Linnea Gelland

Age may catch up with you, just never let it over take you. — Benny Bellamacina

Life is like a one rung ladder, some days you can be on the top and bottom of the world at the same time — Benny Bellamacina

Sometimes the only way to succeed is to fail backwards — Benny Bellamacina

Going down in history is a dead end pursuit — Benny Bellamacina

Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea. — Jasper Fforde

My father lived life to the fullest, even though it was cut short at a young age in 1962. He was known for his intelligence, wit, wisdom, a wonderful sense of humour, a great personality, and a genuine goodwill towards all. — Ajay Mehta

Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.
Good things come to those who wait. — Jess C. Scott

The Little Prince : What are you doing there?
The Tippler : I am drinking.
The Little Prince : Why are you drinking?
The Tippler : So that I may forget.
The Little Prince : Forget what?
The Tippler : Forget that I am ashamed.
The Little Prince : Ashamed of what?
The Tippler : Ashamed of drinking! — Antoine De Saint-Exupery

A sneeze can never be to far away — Benny Bellamacina

I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as I can. It's as simple as that. — Norman Wisdom

If you want to know what's going on, keep your mind in the fridge or it might go off. — Benny Bellamacina

Great songs don't grow on trees, yet lots of songs have been written on great trees — Benny Bellamacina

The shades of colours are splendid. — Lailah Gifty Akita

I've found a great hiding place for all my money, down the drain — Benny Bellamacina

Never go for a drink in London's square mile, nobody ever gets a round in. — Benny Bellamacina

It is a fool of a shepherd who culls his dogs. — Jefferson Smith

His lectures were always well attended, and not just because he imparted so much wisdom and knowledge: he also managed to do it with humour. It had taken Danny some time to realize that the professor enjoyed provoking discussion and argument by offering up outrageous statements to see what reaction he would arouse from his students. — Jeffrey Archer

If you find yourself cutting corners, go in a circle instead — Benny Bellamacina

It's good to let your mind wonder, as long as you know where it's going — Benny Bellamacina

Sometimes the walk to the doctors is a better cure than the medicine you receive — Benny Bellamacina