Famous Quotes & Sayings

Funny Shopping Quotes & Sayings

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Funny Shopping Quotes By J.D. Robb

Oh shit, oh shit, stupid shower present!"
Now she did pull her hair as she made the dash to her office.
Roarke sat in her visitor's chair, comfortably involved with his PPC. He glanced up, let loose a regretful sigh. "You changed. And I didn't have any time to ogle you in uniform."
"I have to go shopping!"
Staring at her, Roarke pressed his fingertips to his temple. "I'm sorry, I believe I must have had a small stroke. What did you say?"
"This isn't funny." She bent down, gripped him by the lapels. "I forgot to get a thing for the thing, and I don't even know what the thing is supposed to be. Now I have to go out and hunt something down. Except - " Her eyes went from slightly mad to speculative. "We have all kinds of things around the house. Couldn't I just wrap something up and - "
"No."
"Crap! — J.D. Robb

Funny Shopping Quotes By Sol Luckman

Nobody ever goes to that store to shop because it's too crowded. — Sol Luckman

Funny Shopping Quotes By L.A. Weatherly

As we drove uptown, I spotted a Kmart on a corner,with its familiar red sign.I cleared my throat."Wait. Can we stop for a minute?"
"What for?"
"Just - I need a few things."
He looked irritated, but pulled into a metered space. "We don't really have time to go shopping."
I glared at him."yeah, excuse me for being so frivolous. You have your suitcase all packed already; I dont even have clean underwear.I'll be right back. — L.A. Weatherly

Funny Shopping Quotes By Rita Rudner

Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network. — Rita Rudner

Funny Shopping Quotes By Maria Bamford

I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don't wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too. — Maria Bamford

Funny Shopping Quotes By Cheyenne Kimball

I was shopping at my local mall in Dallas that I've gone to for like three years now. And everyone was like "Oh my God, who's that? Who's that?" And I was like whatever, because you know, there are like 20 people traveling with me. It's like I have an entourage following me
which is so funny. — Cheyenne Kimball

Funny Shopping Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon

He made a sound of disgust in the back of his throat. Oh thank you so much. That's what every man wants to hear about his name. You might as well call me 'Little Pecker' while you're at it and tell me you would love to have me go shopping with you for feminine hygiene products. Oh and by all means, carry a big, sparkling pink bag with flowers on it and make me hold it. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Funny Shopping Quotes By Tommy Cooper

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows. — Tommy Cooper

Funny Shopping Quotes By Steve Coogan

People come up to me in supermarkets and demand humour. And the less amusing I am, the more they piss themselves. So I say, "I'm doing my shopping, mate, OK?" and the guy will be on the floor in hysterics. Quite odd. Eventually I do have to say something funny so I usually go for something pathetic like, "It's a nice place to shop but I wouldn't like to live here!" and they roar again. Wet themselves. I'm lucky though that I am not massively famous, I can get the Tube without much bother. Must be awful being the Beckhams. — Steve Coogan

Funny Shopping Quotes By Conan O'Brien

There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right? — Conan O'Brien

Funny Shopping Quotes By Warren Ellis

Shopping for clothes is a Boyfriend Thing. You stand around and look blankly at a bunch of pieces of fabric and you look at the price tags and you wonder how something that'd barely cover your right nut can cost the price of a kidney and you watch the shop assistants check you out and wonder what you're doing with her because she's cute and you're kind of funny-looking and she tries clothes on and you look at her ass in a dozen different items that all look exactly the same and let's face it you're just looking at her ass anyway and it all blurs together and then someone sticks a vacuum cleaner in your wallet and vacuums out all the cash and you leave the store with one bag so small that mice couldn't fuck in it. Repeat a dozen times or until the front of your brain dies. — Warren Ellis

Funny Shopping Quotes By Tad Williams

Dear Diary
Went out shopping today. Picked up half a dozen sheep, two pigs, and a princess. The sheep are rather depressingly thin, the pigs and princess only slightly less so. Dear Diary
Went out shopping today. Picked up half a dozen sheep, two pigs, and a princess. The sheep are rather depressingly thin, the pigs and princess only slightly less so. — Tad Williams

Funny Shopping Quotes By Christy Leigh Stewart

I've purged myself of worldly goods; half my stuff is either being sold or going to charity. I need to go shopping. — Christy Leigh Stewart

Funny Shopping Quotes By Bauvard

The stars have a strong effect on our daily shopping lives. Hollywood is astrology's only credible conspiracy. — Bauvard

Funny Shopping Quotes By Tina Fey

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am all about money. I mean, just look how well my line of zodiac-inspired toe rings and homeopathic children's medications are selling on Home Shopping Network. — Tina Fey

Funny Shopping Quotes By Douglas Adams

Laser light flickered all over him as if he was a packet of biscuits at a super-market check-out. — Douglas Adams

Funny Shopping Quotes By Cornelia Funke

You know, it's a funny thing about writers. Most people don't stop to think of books being written by people much like themselves. They think that writers are all dead long ago
they don't expect to meet them in the street or out shopping. They know their stories but not their names, and certainly not their faces. And most writers like it that way. — Cornelia Funke

Funny Shopping Quotes By Chris Dee

In Paris, choosing a dress is a monumental decision. In Milan, it's a kick. — Chris Dee

Funny Shopping Quotes By Marilyn Vos Savant

Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward. — Marilyn Vos Savant

Funny Shopping Quotes By Chelsea Handler

Then they have the audacity to go shopping and pick out their own gifts. I want to know who the first person was who said this was okay. After spending all that money on a bachelorette weekend, a shower, and often a flight across the country, they expect you to go to Williams Sonoma or Pottery Barn and do research? Then they send you a thank-you note applauding you for such a thoughtful gift. They're the one who picked it out! — Chelsea Handler

Funny Shopping Quotes By Sarah Dessen

And so really, you have given me no choice but to take you shopping by
force." She sighed, then reached up, dropping her sunglasses down from
their perch on her head to cover her eyes. "Do you even realize how happy
the average teenage girl would be in your shoes? I have a credit card. We're
at the mall. I want to buy you things. It's like adolescent nirvana."
- Cora — Sarah Dessen

Funny Shopping Quotes By Karen Chance

There was some sort of commotion going on outside, and I decided I'd had enough. I went to the door and stuck my head out. Marco was gasping for breath on the sofa, and two of the guards were bent over a cell phone.
"What are you doing?" I demanded.
"Trying to record this," the smart-ass from the shopping trip told me. "Nobody is going to believe us otherwise."
"Well, cut it out. It isn't funny!"
"On what planet?"
I glared at him, which did no good,because he simply went back to to tinkering with the phone. So I looked at Marco. "Can't you do anything with them?"
Marco flopped a hand at me, tears streaming down his reddened cheeks, and tried to say something. But all that came out for several moments were asthmatic wheezes. I bent over his prone form, starting to worry about him, and he put a hand on my neck and pulled me down.
" It ... is ... funny," he gasped. — Karen Chance

Funny Shopping Quotes By Bruce Baum

I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman. — Bruce Baum

Funny Shopping Quotes By Rick Riordan

Usually I give demigods something simple like a shopping trip, singing a funny song, that sort of thing. After all those labors I had to complete for my evil cousin Eurystheus, well...I don't want to be that guy, you know? — Rick Riordan

Funny Shopping Quotes By Sophie Kinsella

They said I was a valued customer, now they send me hate mail. — Sophie Kinsella

Funny Shopping Quotes By Virginia Woolf

These errand-boys and furtive and fugitive girls who, ignoring their doom, look in at shop windows? But I am aware of our ephemeral passage. — Virginia Woolf

Funny Shopping Quotes By Amanda Donohoe

People say to me 'You're a big Hollywood star', and I find it so funny. I still feel as though I'm the girl from Golders Green. I lead such a boring, normal life. I still go shopping in Sainsbury's. If the ability to do that was taken away from me, I'd go barmy. You lose your freedom. Be careful what you wish for. — Amanda Donohoe

Funny Shopping Quotes By Henny Youngman

My wife has a black belt in shopping. — Henny Youngman

Funny Shopping Quotes By Becca Fitzpatrick

Positive. In other news, Marcie's throwing a Halloween party here at the farmhouse."
Patch smiled. "Grey - Millar family drama?"
"The theme is famous couples from history. Could she be any less original? Worse, she's roped my mom into this. They went shopping for decorations today. For three whole hours. It's like they're suddenly best friends." I picked up another apple slice and made a face at it. "Marcie is ruining everything. I wanted Scott to go with Vee, but Marcie already convinced him to go with her." Patch's smile widened.
I aimed my best sulky look at him. "This isn't funny. Marcie is destroying my life. Whose side are you on anyway?"
Patch raised his hands in surrender. "I'm staying out of this. — Becca Fitzpatrick

Funny Shopping Quotes By J.L. Merrow

I like everything about you, Larry. I like the way you look and how you're so clever, and I like it when we laugh together and watch TV together. I like going to art galleries with you and hearing you get all bitchy about some of the artists. I like watching you when you're doing marking, 'cause you get these funny looks on your face. I like watching you sleep and hearing that snuffly noise you make. I like waking up with you at weekends and spending the day together, just doing stuff like walking round town and shopping and cooking and stuff." I kind of ran out of breath after that.
For a moment, I thought he was going to cry."Is there anything you don't like about me? — J.L. Merrow

Funny Shopping Quotes By Al Madrigal

You re-watch 'Napoleon Dynamite', and there's a lot of thrift shopping that goes on in that movie; there's a lot of funny stuff. It's definitely amusing, and paying 99 cents for a samurai sword is amazing. — Al Madrigal

Funny Shopping Quotes By Ted Allen

The funny thing about Thanksgiving ,or any big meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it then go home and cook,chop,braise and blanch. Then it's gone in 20 minutes and everybody lies around sortof in a sugar coma and then it takes 4 hours to clean it up. — Ted Allen