Famous Quotes & Sayings

Funny Counting Quotes & Sayings

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Top Funny Counting Quotes

Funny Counting Quotes By Terry Pratchett

Is that him?" said Sister Mary, staring at the baby. "Only I'd expected funny eyes. Red, or green. Or teensy-weensy little hoofikins. Or a widdle tail." She turned him around as she spoke. No horns either. The Devil's child looked ominously normal.
"Yes, that's him," said Crowley.
"Fancy me holding the Antichrist," said Sister Mary. "And bathing the Antichrist. And counting his little toesy-wosies ... — Terry Pratchett

Funny Counting Quotes By Patricia Briggs

My mother raised her eyebrow, and murmured, And to think I was always worried that you didn't have any friends. I suppose I should have been counting my blessings. — Patricia Briggs

Funny Counting Quotes By Jack Whitehall

The Lion King? It's just a kid's film.

Just a kid's film?!? Yeah, just a kid's film with an IMDB rating of 8.5, 2 Academy Awards and 2 Golden Globes, that's been adapted into THE most successful West-end musical of all time, generating a gross profit of 8 million pounds and counting. "But maybe it's just a kid's film because it doesn't deal with any mature films" said fucking nobody ever. The Lion King is the greatest anthropomorphic assault upon the theme of mortality that Western culture has ever produced. It is so complex that your tiny, shriveled, and scrotum of a brain wouldn't dare to fathom it. So no, it is not just a kid's film, it is Shakespear with fur! — Jack Whitehall

Funny Counting Quotes By Becky Wade

Women who've made peace with living alone," she started, counting off on one finger, "and women with healthy self-confidence ... " She counted off a second finger, then cocked her head at Kate. "Are you getting this?"
Kate nodded. "Women who've made peace with living alone and women who have a healthy self-confidence ... "
"Can always, BUT ALWAYS, afford to be picky. — Becky Wade

Funny Counting Quotes By Elizabeth Gilbert

Let me ask you something, in all the years that you have ... undressed in front of a gentleman has he ever asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out and left? No? It's because he doesn't care! He's in a room with a naked girl, he just won the lottery. I am so tired of saying no, waking up in the morning and recalling every single thing I ate the day before, counting every calorie I consumed so I know just how much self loathing to take into the shower. I'm going for it. I have no interest in being obese, I'm just through with the guilt. So this is what I'm going to do, I'm going to finish this pizza, and then we are going to go watch the soccer game, and tomorrow we are going to go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans. — Elizabeth Gilbert

Funny Counting Quotes By Shannon Stacey

We'll take care of the cooking, Gram, so you can relax." When he and Cat both looked at her, Emma blushed. "Okay, fine. Sean will take care of the grilling so you can relax."
"I was counting on it. And, Sean, why don't you sit down and help us settle on a wedding date."
"I told Emma to tell me when to be there and I'd be there."
"Nonsense. Sit down."
He'd rather be dipped in barbecue sauce and dropped in the desert, but he sat. One more week and it would be over.
Then he wouldn't have to think about Emma anymore. Not think about marrying her or having babies with her or holding her in his arms at night. He'd be gone and she'd be some funny story his brothers brought up sitting around the fire knocking back beer.
"Really, Sean, are you okay?" Cat asked him, putting her hand on his arm.
He realized he'd been rubbing his chest, and he forced himself to lean forward and prop his arms on the table so he wouldn't do it again. "I'm fine. Let's pick a date. — Shannon Stacey

Funny Counting Quotes By Benson Bruno

Dear sirs,
The cold war isn't over. When national borders fail, the epidermis is the last line of defense. We are counting on you.
Sincerely,
Patriot — Benson Bruno

Funny Counting Quotes By Orson Scott Card

Alvin smiled back, and kissed her. People talk about fools counting chickens before they hatch. That's nothing. We name them. — Orson Scott Card

Funny Counting Quotes By Sarah Waters

[ ... ] You're not in love with anyone, are you?'
'No,' said Kay. 'Someone's in love with me, as it happens. A grand person, too ... But that's another secret. I'm thinking of the morphia, you see. I'm counting on your not being able to remember any of this.'
'Why is it a secret?'
'I promised the person it would be, that's all.'
'But you won't love him back?'
Kay smiled. 'You'd think I would, wouldn't you? But, isn't it funny - we never seem to love the people we ought to, I can't think why ... — Sarah Waters

Funny Counting Quotes By Robyn Carr

We're adults. I might be a little more of an adult if you're counting years but I bet I have a lower IQ, so that puts us pretty much even. — Robyn Carr