Funny Celebrity Quotes & Sayings

People don't want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That's why comedy writers do well - we put out little funny ideas. — Mindy Kaling

Agent Julianne was always looking for ways to spin things. She would have been better off owning a laundromat. — Jonas Eriksson

Famous people steal my quotes all of the time without knowing; none of it is ever very interesting though. — Robert DeCoteau

The funny thing about insane people is that it is kind of the opposite of being a celebrity. Nobody envies you. — Robert M. Pirsig

I think the reason Jesus is so popular, just on a celebrity level, is that he died at the peak of his career. — Marc Maron

It's funny how you call me a celebrity. Oh man. — Steven Hill

I don't have any regrets," a famous movie actor said in an interview I recently witnessed. "I'd live everything over exactly the same way."
"That's really pathetic," the talk show host said. "Are you seeking help?"
"Yeah. My shrink says we're making progress. Before, I wouldn't even admit that I would live it all over," the actor said, starting to choke up. "I thought one life was satisfying enough."
"My God," the host said, cupping his hand to his mouth.
"The first breakthrough was when I said I would live it over, but only in my dreams. Nocturnal recurrence."
"You're like the character in that one movie of yours. What's it called? You know, the one where you eat yourself."
"The Silence of Sam."
"That's it. Can you do the scene?"
The actor lifts up his foot to stick it in his mouth. I reach over from my seat and help him to fit it into his bulging cheeks. The audience goes wild. — Benson Bruno

But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards. — J.K. Rowling

I got the wake-up call that no one is policing our oceans. I wondered, how can I do anything? What really can I do to make things better? There are some perks to being a celebrity. My job is to be funny once in a while, but it's my responsibility to make good use of it. — Angela Kinsey

I'm surrounded by friends and family who are not that impressed by celebrity. They don't have any problem telling me I'm acting like an idiot or I'm not that funny. — Paloma Faith

I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I'm a huge celebrity. — Ellen DeGeneres

I think this whole celebrity world is weird anyway. Weird and funny and kind of pathetic and yet so right for parody. — Ben Stiller

Now you look like someone who is trying not to be someone, as opposed to nobody not managing to be anybody. — Robert Bryndza

Quote: a banal proverb that is considered profound when uttered by a celebrity. — Bauvard

About 100 things that your kid will do that will surprise you and break your heart and it will be a combination of fact based therapy, medically advised kinds of passages accompanied by celebrity anecdotes and just some funny stuff to lighten the load. — Alan Thicke

Over the years, 'organized' seemed to have become her most defining characteristic. It was like she was a minor celebrity with this one claim to fame. It was funny how once it became a thing that her family and friends commented on and teased her about, it seemed to perpetuate itself, so that her life was now extraordinarily well organized ... — Liane Moriarty

A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrased to death. — Michael Bassey Johnson