Envy Humor Quotes & Sayings

There they were, the movers and shakers of Benjamin Franklin Hight - the sports stars, the cheerleaders, the good, the great, the gorgeous - bent over their pizzas.
Trish sensed my angst and said, "My mother says girls like Lisa Shooty get the ultimate curse known to man."
"What's that?"
"Too much too soon."
I looked at poor, cursed Lisa who had been sprayed with sex appeal at birth. She had gleaming teeth and long, raven-black curls. She threw back her head and laughed with diamond-studded joy.
"When do you think the curse takes effect?" I asked.
"Not in our lifetime," Trish answered. — Joan Bauer

What do you think of human intelligence?" asked Mavis Pellington lamely.
"Of whose intelligence in particular?" asked Tobermory coldly.
"Oh, well, mine for instance," said Mavis with a feeble laugh.
"You put me in an embarrassing position," said Tobermory, whose tone and attitude certainly did not suggest a shred of embarrassment. "When your inclusion in this house-party was suggested Sir Wilfrid protested that you were the most brainless woman of his acquaintance, and that there was a wide distinction between hospitality and the care of the feeble-minded. Lady Blemley replied that your lack of brain-power was the precise quality which had earned you your invitation, as you were the only person she could think of who might be idiotic enough to buy their old car. You know, the one they call 'The Envy of Sisyphus,' because it goes quite nicely up-hill if you push it. — Saki

Ernestine used to remark, in a tone tinged with envy, that Lill was probably New Jersey's youngest gold digger, and that few adult gold diggers ever had received more, in return for less. — Frank B. Gilbreth Jr.

Satire, whilst envy and ill-humor sway
The mind of man, must always make her way;
Nor to a bosom, with discretion fraught,
Is all her malice worth a single thought.
The wise have not the will, nor fools the power,
To stop her headstrong course; within the hour
Left to herself, she dies; opposing strife
Gives her fresh vigor, and prolongs her life. — Charles Churchill

It is only when the mirror has not spoken to Chimpanzee in a plain language that it thinks it looks more better than the Gorilla — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Of course we will send postcards to Nutsawoo. And we shall bring him back a present as well. In fact,' she went on, with the instinctive knack every good governess has for turning something enjoyable into a lesson, and vice versa, 'I will expect all three of you to practice your writing by keeping a journal of our trip so that Nutsawoo may know how we spend our days. Why, by the time we return, he will think he has been to London himself! He will be the envy of all his little squirrel friends,' she declared.
Penelope had no way of knowing if this last statement was true. Could squirrels feel envy? Would they give two figs about London? Did Nutsawoo even have friends? — Maryrose Wood

This bastard was in a self-help program? For what? Square-jawed, cleft-chin sufferers? Handsome Bastards Anonymous? — Susan Juby

Look, I didnt want to be a half-blood.
If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom and dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life.
Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful nasty ways.
If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe none of this ever happened.
But if you recognize yourself in these pages-if you feel something stirring inside- stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before THEY sense it too, and they'll come for you.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
-Percy Jackson — Rick Riordan

Do not share your thoughts with people who think that what you are thinking is not worth thinking. — Michael Bassey Johnson

Ty is green but never with envy. Best of all, he's usually available to help move a heavy piece of furniture. — John Hopkins

Some folks rail against other folks, because other folks have what some folks would be glad of. — Henry Fielding

So there I was, with the two hottest girls on campus, having lunch. I was "the man", the envy of every other guy in our school.
Buddy, I was miserable."
-Bryce Loski — Wendelin Van Draanen

They all laughed when I said I'd become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now. — Bob Monkhouse

Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ... and he's in prison ... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat. — Bill Watterson

Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne. — Dorothy Parker

The biggest challenge after success is shutting up about it. — Criss Jami

A green X-wing closed in tighter to the formation. "Yes, sir." Though distorted by the comm system, the voice sounded indulgent rather than military.
"That's 'Yes, Wedge' until we're formally returned to duty." The commander smiled. "Or perhaps, 'Yes, Exalted One.' Or 'Yes, O envy of all Corellia.' Or- — Aaron Allston

Nothing frustrates people more than a cocky guy who's still winning. — Criss Jami

Women never bought Freud's idea of penis envy: who would want a shotgun when you can have an automatic? — Natalie Angier

If someone called me chubby, it would no longer be something that kept me up late at night. Being called fat is not like being called stupid or unfunny, which is the worst thing you could ever say to me. Do I envy Jennifer Hudson for being able to lose all that weight and look smokin' hot? Of course, yes. Do I sometimes look at Gisele Bundchen and wonder how awesome life would be if I never had to wear Spanx? Duh, of course. That's kind of the point of Gisele Bundchen. And maybe I will, once or twice, for a very short period of time. But on the list of things I want to do in my lifetime, that's not near the top. I mean, it's not near the bottom either. I'd say it's right above "Learn to drive a vespa," but several notches below "film a chase scene for a movie. — Mindy Kaling

Don't worry, I don't even have a piece of shit. I have to envy yours. — Matthew Broderick

The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life. — Garrison Keillor

Ill-humor is nothing more than an inward feeling of our own want of merit, a dissatisfaction with ourselves which is always united with an envy that foolish vanity excites. — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Expect not praise without envy until you are dead. — Charles Caleb Colton

Walter Scott has no business to write novels, especially good ones. - It is not fair. - He has fame and profit enough as a poet, and should not be taking the bread out of other people's mouths. - I do not like him, and do not mean to like Waverley if I can help it - but fear I must. — Jane Austen

When I envied a man's spurs then they were indeed worth coveting. — Zane Grey

Envy is for people who don't have the self-esteem to be jealous. — Bauvard

There are two types of women in particular who inspire my envy. The first is an ebullient one, happily engaged from morning until night, able to enjoy things like group lunches, spontaneous vacations to Cartagena with gangs of girlfriends, and planning other people's baby showers. The bigger existential questions don't seem to plague her, and she can clean her stove without ever once thinking, What's the point? It just gets dirty again anyway and then we die. Why don't I just stick my head ... — Lena Dunham

She had a voice so husky it could have pulled a dogsled, and the gun she was holding gave me a bad case of barrel envy. — Patrick Major Dallas OR

A lang, lang time ago ... " MacPhee began, ignoring St.Vincent's low groan, "there was a bonnie maid called Malvina. She was the betrothed of Oscar, the braw warrior who won her heart. Oscar bade his beloved tae wait for him while he went tae seek his fortune. But one black day Malvina received word that her lover had been killed in battle. He would lie forever in eternal rest in the faraway hills ... lost in endless slumber ... "
"God, I envy him," St. Vincent said feelingly, rubbing his own dark-circled eyes. — Lisa Kleypas

And then he asked me how I felt about you."
Now I put real effort into wrestling out of his choke hold, eventually succeeding. I pull back and stare at Shane, horrified. "He didn't."
"He did." His expression is carefully blank, dark eyes fathomless.
"And ... you said ... "
"I said ... "
"That you're in awe of me?"
"Uh-huh."
"That you admire my work ethic?"
"Yep."
"And envy my wicked sense of humor?"
"No."
"My fabulous legs?"
"Meh."
"You lie! — Julianna Keyes

It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered. — Aeschylus

I am prone to envy. It is one of my three default emotions, the others being greed and rage. I have also experienced compassion and generosity, but only fleetingly and usually while drunk, so I have little memory. — Augusten Burroughs

I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy. — George Carlin

Seeing a patter doesn't mean you know how to put it all together. Take baby steps: don't focus on the folks whose skills are far beyond your own. When you're new to something-or you haven't tried it in a while-it can feel impossibly hard to get it right. Every misstep feels like a reason to quit. You envy everyone else who seems to know what they're doing. What keeps you going? The belief that one day you'll also be like that: Elegant. Capable. Confident. Experienced. And you can be. All you need now is enthusiasm. A little bravery. And-always-a sense of humor. — Kate Jacobs

I've always thought that Freud's theory of penis envy was fairly ridiculous
but I'm absolutely certain that if you put a piece of bread in your mouth and suck on it you'll go to heaven. — Anna Quindlen