Bridget Jones Helen Fielding Quotes & Sayings

I was writing an earnest novel about cruises in the Caribbean and I just started writing 'Bridget Jones' to get some money, to finance this earnest work, and then I chucked it out. — Helen Fielding

You see, things being good has nothing to do with how you feel outside, it is all to do with how you are inside. — Helen Fielding

I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect ... instead I choose Chaka Khan ... and vodka ... Bridget Jones — Helen Fielding

The basis of my own addiction, I know, is my simple human need for Darcy to get off with Elizabeth. Tom says football guru Nick Hornby says in his book that men's obsession with football is not vicarious. The testosterone-crazed fans do not wish themselves on the pitch, claims Hornby, instead seeing their team as their chosen representatives, rather like parliament. That is precisely my feeling about Darcy and Elizabeth. They are my chosen representatives in the field of shagging, or, rather, courtship. I do not, however, wish to see any actual goals. I would hate to see Darcy and Elizabeth in bed, smoking a cigarette afterwards. That would be unnatural and wrong and I would quickly lose interest. — Helen Fielding

However, on glimpsing in shop window realized outfit insane. Now am on bus, remember also that corset-ike nature of dress is torture when sitting down. One's rolls of fat are squezzed together like dough being kneaded in a food processor. — Helen Fielding

One minute you're closer to someone than anyone in the whole world, next minute they need only to say the words 'time apart', 'serious talk' or 'maybe you ... ' and you're never going to see them again and will have to spend the next six months having imaginary conversations in which they beg to come back, and bursting into tears at the sight of their toothbrush. — Helen Fielding

I like you very much. Just as you are. Mark Darcy, Bridget Jones — Helen Fielding

It's all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage. — Helen Fielding

I mean, I haven't rushed to the answerphone once to see if anyone's aware of my existence in the world! — Helen Fielding

Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs ... Mum ... Hi. — Helen Fielding

HARHARBLOODY HAR. Put that in your pipe hole and smoke it, society! — Helen Fielding

Bridget. Sleeping with a twenty-nine year old off Twitter on the second date is not 'rather like in Jane Austen's day'. (Talitha) — Helen Fielding

When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you've created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts adds up to you got stamped REJECT by the one you love. How can you not be left with the personal confidence of a passed over British Rail sandwich? — Helen Fielding

When he's hot, he's hot; when he's not, he's not. But at least there is always food — Helen Fielding

Exes should never, never go out with or marry other people but should remain celibate to the end of their days in order to provide you with a mental fallback position. — Helen Fielding

Coldplay songs deliver an amorphous, irrefutable interpretation of how being in love is supposed to feel, and people find themselves wanting that feeling for real. They want men to adore them like Lloyd Dobler would, and they want women to think like Aimee Mann, and they expect all their arguments to sound like Sam Malone and Diane Chambers. They think everything will work out perfectly in the end (just like it did for Helen Fielding's Bridget Jones and Nick Hornby's Rob Fleming), and they don't stop believing because Journey's Steve Perry insists we should never do that. — Chuck Klosterman

Age of rationing ended some time ago and is now space rather than possessions which is in short supply. — Helen Fielding

Clearly in textbook terms, the gentleman should text the lady first after intercourse, but perhaps the whole socio-etiquettical system breaks down when an insect plague is involved. — Helen Fielding