Alison Bliss Quotes & Sayings

Damn it, Emily. I'm responsible for your safety." "Then wear a condom!" "Jesus," he said, breathing out hard. "I was right before. You definitely have multiple personalities." My eyes narrowed. "Yeah, well maybe I do, and none of them like you! — Alison Bliss

Jake smiled, as if he enjoyed my temper tantrum. "Patience is a virtue."
"Yeah, well, so is virginity, but I don't have that anymore, either. — Alison Bliss

The prince isn't always charming and the princess isn't always a virgin. — Alison Bliss

What's poking me?"
"An involuntary reflex," Jake said, "Roll over at your own risk."
"Is it going to be a chronic condition?"
"God, I hope so, I'm too young to have those kinds of medical issues."
"I have a cure."
"What?" he asked. "Sandwiching a pillow between us?"
"Amputation."
"Never mind," Jake said grimly, "Problem solved. — Alison Bliss

Well, Cowboy, if my pussy is ever in need of being rescued, then I'll be sure to give you a call. Until then, you'll just have to play with your own hose. — Alison Bliss

Jesus," he said, exasperated. "When we leave here, I'm stopping to buy you a self-help book. — Alison Bliss

Honey, you may have the face of an angel, but that halo of yours is awfully crooked. — Alison Bliss

It was five o'clock when the stupid rooster started crowing relentlessly, robbing me of my sleep. The sun hadn't even risen yet. Dumbass bird should be on Prozac. — Alison Bliss

One peek and I melted. "Aww," I said, cooing to the chick with the fluffy head. "It's so cute." Then it shit in my hand. "Ew, gross. Take this nasty thing. — Alison Bliss

Instead, I reached out, grabbed him by the neck, and slung him away. He jumped to his feet and came back for more. I raised the bucket in warning and yelled, "Rooster, I'll fuck you up! — Alison Bliss

You choose men the same way a child picks out a new puppy; first one who crawls in your lap is yours. — Alison Bliss

I love the sound you make when you're silent. — Alison Bliss

She killed the shit out of that snake," Hank said, laughing. "Chopped off its head, set it on fire, then shot it."
Jake looked at me as if I were crazy. "A little overkill, don't you think?"
"It wouldn't stop moving. — Alison Bliss

Some scars can't always be seen with your eyes," he said, "Doesn't mean they aren't there. — Alison Bliss