Famous Quotes & Sayings

Bathroom Scale Quotes & Sayings

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Top Bathroom Scale Quotes

Bathroom Scale Quotes By Mason Cooley

The bathroom scale knows nothing of extenuating circumstances. — Mason Cooley

Bathroom Scale Quotes By Arthur C. Clarke

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. — Arthur C. Clarke

Bathroom Scale Quotes By David Sedaris

Its funny how certain objects convey a message
my washer and dryer, for example. They can't speak, of course, but whenever I pass them they remind me that I'm doing fairly well. "No more laundromat for you," they hum. My stove, a downer, tells me every day that I can't cook, and before I can defend myself my scale jumps in, shouting from the bathroom, "Well, he must be doing something. My numbers are off the charts." The skeleton has a much more limited vocabulary and says only one thing: "You are going to die. — David Sedaris

Bathroom Scale Quotes By P. J. O'Rourke

People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it's simply a measurement. — P. J. O'Rourke

Bathroom Scale Quotes By Ellen Fein

If your husband is overweight, don't ask him how much he weighs or sneak up behind him when he stands on the bathroom scale. — Ellen Fein

Bathroom Scale Quotes By Brian Regan

I called them up, "Ya, I have ten boxes; can you come pick them up?" "We need to know the weight and the girth." "Okay, good-bye." So I called back. "We need the weight and the girth." "Okay, I don't know what the weight is, and um, I don't know what girth means ... So now what's the procedure?" So this guy talks to me like I'm four years old. "Well do you have a bathroom scale?" "Uh, ya but if I put the box on the scale it's gonna cover up the NUMBERS!" What, do I take it off really quick? Ah, zero: I'm not fast enough. What's he talking about? So then he gives me his Mister Wizard Formula, "How about if you stand on the scale and weigh yourself and get off the scale. Pick up the box, get back on, weigh you and the box together, and subtract your own weight." I'm going, "Slow down. Hold on professor." I know this guys never tried this, because I tried it and you still can't see the NUMBERS! Then I had to hang up in the middle of his girth formula. — Brian Regan

Bathroom Scale Quotes By Anne Lamott

I wish I had thrown out the bathroom scale at age 16. Weighing yourself every morning is like waking up and asking Dick Cheney to validate your sense of inner worth. — Anne Lamott

Bathroom Scale Quotes By Dan Pearce

I've been chained to my bathroom scale for two decades now. I've used the number on my scale to tell me if I'm valuable or not. I've let the number on my scale destroy many beautiful opportunities in my life such as scheduling family photos, having fun at the beach, or giving myself 100% in intimacy. I've let the number on the scale tell me if I should be confident in who I am. I've let the number on the scale tell me if I am worthy of kind thoughts from others. Ultimately, I've always let some ridiculous number on the bathroom scale tell me whether or not I should love myself. — Dan Pearce

Bathroom Scale Quotes By P. J. O'Rourke

The free market tells us what people are willing to pay for a given thing at a given moment. That's all the free market does. The free market is a bathroom scale. We may not like what we see when we step on the bathroom scale, but we can't pass a law making ourselves weigh 165. — P. J. O'Rourke

Bathroom Scale Quotes By Jeremy Denk

As you deal with thumb-crossings, or fingerings for the F-sharp-minor scale, or chromatic scales in double thirds, it is hard to accept that these will eventually allow you to probe eternity in the final movement of Beethoven's last sonata. Imagine that you are scrubbing the grout in your bathroom and are told that removing every last particle of mildew will somehow enable you to deliver the Gettysburg Address. — Jeremy Denk

Bathroom Scale Quotes By P. J. O'Rourke

The free market is not a creed or an ideology that political conservatives, libertarians, and Ayn Rand acolytes want Americans to take on faith. The free market is simply a measurement. The free market tells us what people are willing to pay for a given thing at a given moment. That's all the free market does. The free market is a bathroom scale. We may not like what we see when we step on the bathroom scale, but we can't pass a law making ourselves weigh 165. Liberals and leftists think we can. — P. J. O'Rourke