Vivian Vande Velde Quotes & Sayings

That's very kind of you," she said bitterly, for she no longer believed in kindness. "And you're willing to do this ... why? Because you're fond of helping others?"
"I'm fond of revenge," the dragon answered. — Vivian Vande Velde

If Saint Bruce doesn't like your poem, he chops your head off. — Vivian Vande Velde

Little girls who hang around with vampires need to get used to dead things ... In fact, little girls who hang around with vampires already are with dead things. — Vivian Vande Velde

People always talk about good, fresh country air, but I kept getting wiffs of something that was neither good nor fresh but definitely country. — Vivian Vande Velde

Then, early, early, early in the morning-just as in countless Disney films-I heard a rooster crow. But guess what? They don't do it just once. — Vivian Vande Velde

Mothers are legendary for being able to read the thoughts of their children at just the right moment. — Vivian Vande Velde

Don't, she begged, knowing that surely she was trying his patience, that his kindness would stretch just so far, that if he were truly kind he could never have survived as a vampire. — Vivian Vande Velde

Number one rule for fiction: Coincidence can be used to worsen a characters predicament, but never to solve his problems. — Vivian Vande Velde

A [reformed] vampire ... mostly tries to make reparation for his previous evil by doing good deeds-most commonly, apparently, going into the crime solving business. — Vivian Vande Velde

There, close enough to spit on
if I'd been a barbarian and inclined to spit
was the dragon. — Vivian Vande Velde

And there was this sweet-looking little old lady with her white hair in a bun and everything, the typical grandmother type, and she was swearing her head off. I guess Alzheimer's had brought out her inner sailor. — Vivian Vande Velde

If you don't like vampire games, don't play — Vivian Vande Velde

Still," I said, "I am sorry. But I was desperate to rescue my sister."
"I understand," the sagging dragon assured me. He explained, "I, too, had a sister, once."
The past tense didn't escape me. "What happened to her?" I asked, feeling we were connected, two of a kind after all, sharing similar personal tragedies.
"I had to eat her," the dragon said, "to keep her from stealing my gold. — Vivian Vande Velde

Giannine
What are they going to do: smack me on the head with a pamplet? — Vivian Vande Velde

After a little bit, [the wolf] heard a human voice call out from inside the house, "Little Red Riding Hood, is that you? Have you come to visit your Granny?" But since the wolf didn't speak human, he guessed what the person had said was: "Did I hear something? Is there someone out there who needs to come in, could you scratch louder?" So that's what the wolf did: he scratched louder. — Vivian Vande Velde

She sighed. Loudly. "Physical appearance is not what is important."
Yeah right. Tell that to any girl who hasn't bothered to put on a presentable shirt or fix her hair because she's only running into the grocery store to get a quart of milk for her grandmother, and who does she see tending the 7-ITEMS-OR-LESS cash register but the guy of her dreams, except she can't even say hi - much less try to develop a meaningful relationship - since she looks like the poster child for the terminally geeky. — Vivian Vande Velde

The wolf sniffed beneath the door to be sure this was a human cottage. The scent was undeniable. No pigs, except in bacon form. The wolf thought bacon form was a very sensible way for pigs to behave. — Vivian Vande Velde

Dragons don't ask for maidens, he said. Dragons are offered maidens.
Alys shook her head to show she didn't understand.
Is a king likely to be a maiden? Or a village headman? It's the men who make the laws that decree that maidens be offered. — Vivian Vande Velde

Those Grimm brothers," she said with a sigh, "they'll never amount to anything." And she was right because all they ever became was writers. — Vivian Vande Velde

They'd poisoned me, dammit. Probably to trade my dead body to the barbarians for Wulfgar's safe return. Or maybe just for the fun of it. — Vivian Vande Velde