Tracy Brogan Quotes & Sayings

you can't fight against the universal balance. Without the despair of today we can't experience the joy of tomorrow. — Tracy Brogan

Private fireworks are far superior to public fireworks. — Tracy Brogan

And in this case, the devil didn't wear Prada so much as she wore a pink nylon tracksuit, polka-dotted bifocals, and answered to the name Gigi. — Tracy Brogan

Apparently while I was reading
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating, he'd read The Guide to Dating a Complete Idiot. — Tracy Brogan

whatever life hands you, deal with it. You can't hide. Whoever you are, whatever you've done, whatever the circumstances, own it. Be yourself, don't try to hide, don't try to be someone or something you're not. — Tracy Brogan

Panty Melter: an exceedingly rare species of man blessed with so many desirable attributes he effortlessly gains access into a girl's panties. — Tracy Brogan

I don't want to do the show anymore. I've had enough exposure. It was sort of fun the first season but then Boyd went and ruined everything. He completely humiliated me.
Boyd - as in Boydell Hampton - the preacher's son with the baby face and the mile-wide naughty streak. The kind of guy who talked poetically about being a missionary but who was really far more interested in exploring the missionary position. And every other position he could think of. — Tracy Brogan

May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past. May your hands be forever clasped in friendship, and your hearts joined forever in love. To the bride and groom. — Tracy Brogan

the news had spread like Nutella over a warm — Tracy Brogan

So, let me get this straight," she said. "You're not afraid to scale Mount McKinley or swim in shark-infested waters, but you're scared of getting another scolding from your mother? — Tracy Brogan

Just one more?" he said, holding up his thumb and index finger to indicate tiny. Oh so small. "Just one more little one? I don't think that was my best work, and what if this is the only time we ever kiss? Then you'll go on for the rest of your life thinking that's the best I can do. I don't think my ego can take that."

He sure as hell hoped this wouldn't be the only time they ever kissed. In fact, he was going to make damn sure of it, and then some. But for the moment, this angle was going to work for him. He could see her indecision. He leaned closer, his lips nearly touching hers. Her eyes fluttered shut as he whispered against her mouth, "Just one more. — Tracy Brogan

All he wanted was a long, hot shower and a long, deep sleep.
Meaning that whoever this pissed-off brunette was, whatever deal she'd arranged with his flaky mother, they could talk about it after he'd scrubbed the jungle from his skin and rinsed the shampoo from his hair.
"What do you mean it belongs to you? It can't belong to you. I just rented it," said the girl aiming that pink blow-dryer right at his heart.
If he wasn't so damn exhausted, he might find that funny. She was holding the thing as if it would protect her. It was a blow-dryer! He nodded at it. "What do you plan to do with that thing, honey? Style me to death? — Tracy Brogan

Could be a cold night so I guess I'll start a fire."
"A fire? Have you got wood?"
A curve played at the corner of his mouth. "Oh, yeah. I got wood."
The door slammed before she realized what she'd said. — Tracy Brogan

Vodka tonic with lemon. — Tracy Brogan

But I promise, if you start looking for the best in people, you'll be very surprised at what you find. — Tracy Brogan

He turned his head to look at her, trying to think of ways to plead his case. Some way to dazzle and beguile her and make her glad that it was him she was here with. Something witty and persuasive, but she turned at precisely the same moment he did, with invitation in her eyes, and all he could come up with was, "Damn, I really want to kiss you."

Her hesitation was a mere fraction of a second. "Me too," she whispered.

It was all he needed to hear, and in an instant she was in his arms. He kissed her, hard, with no prelude, no artful negotiations or seductive machinations. Just hungry kisses that sent his mind spinning and his body following. She kissed him back with equal enthusiasm, with one hand on his chest and the other wrapped tightly around the back of his neck, pulling him closer. Her mouth was sweet, as sweet as he'd imagined, with lips so soft he could have fallen over the edge of that lighthouse and thought the sensation was just from her touch. — Tracy Brogan

Oh, Lord. Why was he asking her that? He knew better than to ask a woman what was wrong - because somehow it would end up being his fault. Even if every aspect of her mood was beyond his knowledge or control, it would still end up being his fault - because he had testicles. Whenever a woman was annoyed, somehow it always came around to the Y chromosome. — Tracy Brogan

He winked at me over her head, causing my bra to try and unclasp itself in sweet surrender. — Tracy Brogan

Too bad he was officially the enemy. — Tracy Brogan

That place is turning into the Hotel California.
You know, you can check in, but you can never leave. — Tracy Brogan

Love is a grave mental disease." "Shakespeare?" Kyle shook his head. "Plato. — Tracy Brogan

Damn, I really want to kiss you. — Tracy Brogan

Turns out you can't outswim a shark so your best bet is just to punch it right in the nose." The — Tracy Brogan

It's hard raising parents. — Tracy Brogan

Life had a way of shifting under her feet like quicksand and she had learned to just make the best of it. Like Gigi always said, 'when God closes a door, he shoves you out the window. — Tracy Brogan

Sugar, you can't control what people think or what they do. You can only control how you react to it. Bottom line is you need to decide who it is you're living this life for. You or them? — Tracy Brogan

I don't want you to go back to Miami already."
"You don't? You could have your house all to yourself." Her voice was whisper soft.
"I don't want my house all to myself. I like you in it. I like watching the yoga."
"You could get cable. They have lots of yoga shows on cable."
He moved a little closer, and she stretched her legs out in front of her. "It would be quite the same as watching it live," he said. — Tracy Brogan

A disaster wrapped in a catastrophe sitting on a pile of misfortune. — Tracy Brogan

businessman. And the economy right now is terrible." She turned to her father. "Do you mean that old dump on Arbor Drive? There's nothing down there but empty buildings. No one will go down there for ice cream." "Ah, that's where you're wrong, Virginia." Her father pointed at her with one hand while gripping the arm of his chair with the other. "The city council wants to renovate the entire area. They're adding a bike path and a new boat launch. That whole stretch along the lake will become just like the old Atlantic City boardwalk." Like the fish that got away, every time her father told this story, it grew in size. There was just no telling — Tracy Brogan

Her life was more like a series of tattered Post-it notes with hastily scribbled goals written in dull pencil. Some of them stuck. Lots of them didn't. — Tracy Brogan

Don't worry, darling. These things happen. Des will understand. Did you at least remember to stroke his eagle? "What?" I gasped. His eagle. You know how much men like to talk about themselves. "Ego", Fontaine said, interpreting. — Tracy Brogan

Pheromones didn't care about tomorrow. They didn't care about education or employment or age. — Tracy Brogan

Being surrounded by the people you loved is what made life ... well, life. — Tracy Brogan

it's not the obstacles in our life that define us. It's the grace we display when overcoming them. — Tracy Brogan

And our marriage dissolved, like margarita salt on the tongue, leaving behind the bitter aftertaste of something that started out sweet but ended sour. — Tracy Brogan

Her head practically swiveled, and her laser-beam stare honed in on Ryan, thoroughly scrutinizing him. He'd felt less violated after a TSA strip search. — Tracy Brogan

There are no bears on the island."
"Really, are you sure because I was hiking with my Dad and I'm sure I saw one? Either that or it was a humongous man-eating badger, with fangs. It might have been frothing at the mouth."
"Man-eating, huh? No problem then. I'm a girl. — Tracy Brogan

A tactical orgasm. That's what he needed. Then he'd stop fantasizing about all those lacy bras she'd left back in his bathroom. She really needed to dry those someplace else. It had taken him fifteen minutes to take a leak this morning because the damn things were hanging up right where he - and his dick - could see them. It twitched in his slacks. His dick had a great memory. — Tracy Brogan

that the yoga guy? Yoga Matt? — Tracy Brogan

Little Junior Hampton was called Little Junior Hampton because his father was Big Junior Hampton, and his grandfather was Old Junior Hampton. — Tracy Brogan

We don't have to tell secrets. We don't have to talk at all. We could just, you know, kiss . . . and stuff. — Tracy Brogan

It's nice to see you. Aimee calls you Bigfoot, by the way."
"Bigfoot?"
"Yeah, you know, like a mythical creature that people say they've seen in the wild but no one knows for sure if it's real. That's you ... — Tracy Brogan

No charge for my expert services," he said. "Strictly pro boner. — Tracy Brogan

I lost my virginity to Grant Connelly," a slender brunette declared wistfully, twirling a lock of hair ... "What? Am I the only one?"
"Nope." A different brunette, this one in a push-up bra, raised her hand. "Not the virginity part, but, well, you know."
Two others raised their hands slowly, looking at each other.
"Spring break?" one asked.
"New Year's Eve," the other answered, and then they collapsed into coed-caliber giggles and hugged each other like pageant queens. No shit. Delaney had stumbled into a Grant Connelly sexual conquest recover group. — Tracy Brogan

She's buying sex toys now, you know. Sex toys for herself. Where the hell does that leave me? Have you ever seen a Vagazzler? That thing can give her an orgasm and then make her a Frappuccino. I can't compete with that. I don't know how to make a Frappuccino. — Tracy Brogan

He put me in charge of chopping vegetables. I considered cutting my finger so he'd have to hold my hand to examine it, but that seemed a little drastic. Maybe I could be captivating without resorting to self-mutilation. — Tracy Brogan

Can you think of anything that you might need?" I looked back over my shoulder at him. I was about to cross a boundary no woman ever wanted to cross. "There is, but I just can't ask you." His smile was patient. "Try me." "Tampons." He burst out laughing. — Tracy Brogan

Scolding had made an impact. She seemed resigned — Tracy Brogan

and wonder if you were speeding. "I don't — Tracy Brogan

Maybe you should get a very large life insurance policy on the next husband," Lily suggested slurping her coffee loudly. "You know, before he makes an ash of himself."
"Very funny, but don't think I haven't thought of it. It's an unpredictable way to score more rental properties, but I do seem to be good at burying men. — Tracy Brogan

He held up my most prized possession, a sweatshirt from spring break during my senior year of college. It was faded, tattered, and perfect for wearing while eating peanut butter with your fingers and crying about your incredibly shitty marriage. — Tracy Brogan

You're so worried about what everybody else thinks you can't decide what you want for yourself. — Tracy Brogan

Oh, fine then. Let the Patron Saint of Desperate Housewives bestow upon us the blessings of his company. — Tracy Brogan

that could (poof!) — Tracy Brogan

Calamity-ville horror plagued by mold and termites and a faulty foundation. — Tracy Brogan

She felt his glances, like butterfly wings, resting and then fluttering away. — Tracy Brogan