Shaquille O'Neal Quotes & Sayings

As a general, and as a leader of this team, whatever I've got to do get my guys going I'll do it every time. If I have to be the bad guy sometime, I'll guess I'll take that. That's what a leader and a general and a chief of police does. Everybody is not going to like it, but I don't care if they like or not. I'm Bush, so if they don't like it resign. — Shaquille O'Neal

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, bet you can't type that. — Shaquille O'Neal

It's over now. He said what he had to say, I said what I had to say. Don't play with me. Seriously, don't play with me. — Shaquille O'Neal

I'm still the Dun Dada of all big men. — Shaquille O'Neal

Przybilla can't guard me when I'm 27, 37 or 47. — Shaquille O'Neal

David Stern should get with the mothers of the NBA and let the moms decide what the dress code should be. I asked my mother if I could wear a chain, and she told me yeah. So I do stuff that my parents allow me to do. — Shaquille O'Neal

Jealous punks can't stop my dunks. — Shaquille O'Neal

I'm a cop, and cops talk. They called me the day he did it, but did you ever hear me say anything about it? I played ball, because that's how I am. I'm true. — Shaquille O'Neal

Guys have made livings off me. Nick Anderson got a new contract. Travis Knight got a new contract off me. As a matter of fact, Derek Fisher called me yesterday to thank me. If you double me, I'm kicking out to Eddie, who's the best shooter in the East. Or I'm going to give it to Dwyane, or put it on the ground and come bang on you. — Shaquille O'Neal

As my great friend Aristotle said, 'If you cannot command, you must learn to listen.' I'm not the hierarchy here. I am a worker bee. — Shaquille O'Neal

He could be dominant - if he played in the WNBA. — Shaquille O'Neal

The two top teams with nice weather and nice people were Dallas and Miami. Of course, the Lakers wouldn't want to trade me in the same conference, so Miami was perfect. — Shaquille O'Neal

I am a tropical black man. — Shaquille O'Neal

My father made me who I am. He gave me a basketball and told me to play with the ball, sleep with the ball, dream with the ball. Just don't take it to school. I used it as a pillow, and it never gave me a stiff neck. — Shaquille O'Neal

There's no answer for my offense, just like the polythagorean theorem. — Shaquille O'Neal

I just want everyone to know I'm suing Ruben Studdard. He had his hand on my ass and he wouldn't let go. — Shaquille O'Neal

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok. — Shaquille O'Neal

When I tweet, I try and accomplish three things. One, is to make you laugh. Two, is to inform you. Three, is to enlighten you. That's all I do. — Shaquille O'Neal

The Miami Heat has the best fans. — Shaquille O'Neal

It is not about how much money you make. The question is are you educated enough to KEEP it. — Shaquille O'Neal

Probably a lack of concentration. I always hit them during practice. I just need to concentrate. Even though I should a lousy percentage, I beat a lot of teams from the line. You have to have mechanics. But see, what people don't know about my wrists is my wrists don't go all the way back. My wrists are crooked and don't go all the way back. I've been practicing and working on them. You can't do everything good. — Shaquille O'Neal

We would love to have Gary down here. He's still tenacious on defense, and I know he still wants [a title]. And I'm the only guy in the world who can get him one. — Shaquille O'Neal

How can Benedict Arnold be reliable in what he says? — Shaquille O'Neal

My motto is very simple. Win a Ring for the King. — Shaquille O'Neal

I make the game easy. Double and triple me, I'll kick it out to you for a wide-open shot. I'll add years to your career. — Shaquille O'Neal

I'm George Bush. I'm the president. — Shaquille O'Neal

Last time I looked at a [pay]check, I said to myself, 'Who the hell is FICA? And when I meet him, I'm going to punch him in the face. Oh my God, FICA is killing me.' — Shaquille O'Neal

I think it's a great city. I think it's a fabulous city. But in my young juvenile days, I was an idiot, and I bought 30 cars. And I need to drive those cars, and New York isn't really the place you can do that. — Shaquille O'Neal

As a basketball fan, I get sick and tired of people talking about numbers. To me, the world is getting too materialistic. — Shaquille O'Neal

I don't get nervous in any situation. There's no such thing as nerves when you're playing games. — Shaquille O'Neal

I don't see us having a problem. It's going to be my job to manage the locker room, anyway, so it will work out. — Shaquille O'Neal

I think he got an incidental elbow in the face, messed up his pretty red lips a little bit. But other than that he'll be fine. — Shaquille O'Neal

I really get motivated when I have doubters. — Shaquille O'Neal

I told our guys they must not have cable because Antoine Walker knows how to play, Derek Anderson can play, Shandon Anderson knows how to play, and Gary Payton knows how play. — Shaquille O'Neal

I told Leonard, in the immortal words of Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 2, 'I'm going on vacation. If I tell you where I'm going, then it won't be a vacation.' — Shaquille O'Neal

I do what I do. Always. — Shaquille O'Neal

I'm very excited about my new agreement with the Heat. This contract allows me to address all of my family's long-term financial goals while allowing the Heat the ability to acquire those players that we need to win a championship. — Shaquille O'Neal

I've been an athlete that's sort of in advance; always thinking. After basketball I'd love to have my own radio show, my own TV show. — Shaquille O'Neal

We're going to miss Damon. He was a great shooter ... He got what he wanted, but he gave up a lot. No more night life, no more warm weather and no more a lot of media attention ... I guess this was his first shot at getting something big. I guess he had to take it. — Shaquille O'Neal

The best quality about Kobe Bryant? You want me to be honest? I don't know. I'll tell you why. I open my arms to everybody. But he never stepped forward for the embrace. So I never really got to know him. I don't know anything about him, and it's kinda sad. — Shaquille O'Neal

Well, Doctor, I don't have the diagnosis on that. I'll be sure to do a physical checkup and get back to you. — Shaquille O'Neal

When I retire, I'm going after his job. If I don't make sheriff, I'm going after his job. He's not that good. You can quote me on that. — Shaquille O'Neal

They say old people always come to Arizona, you know, to get recharged. — Shaquille O'Neal

I'm a season kind of guy - not the preseason but the regular season. — Shaquille O'Neal

I don't see anybody, in any conference, that can shut me down. Any conference, anywhere in the world. — Shaquille O'Neal

Being that I'm a tropical black man I don't get to see much snow. When I see snow I go crazy. That's why they call me Sasquatch. There's no Sasquatch found in the snow so I had to go back to my Sasquatchian roots. — Shaquille O'Neal

Kobe always tried to be a hero. But you know, as the saying goes, a hero ain't nothing but a sandwich. — Shaquille O'Neal

The day I stopped worrying about stats is the day I started winning — Shaquille O'Neal

That is why one day I said my game will be like the Pythagorean Theorem - hard to figure out. A lot of people really don't know the Pythagorean Theory. They don't make them like me anymore. They don't want to make them like that anymore. — Shaquille O'Neal

Once the Hack-a-Shaq works once, you know I'm going to see it again. The only thing worse for basketball than that defense is the Lack-a-Shaq offense, where I have to go to the bench because of foul trouble. There is no fun in that. — Shaquille O'Neal

I didn't say anything. Got nothing to say. I'm a married man; I don't need a relationship with another man. — Shaquille O'Neal

I've won at every level, except college and pro. — Shaquille O'Neal

One time, I put up 40, 50 points dunking on Shawn Bradley. After the game, he brought his family over. He was like, 'This is my wife. She wants to take a picture.' I'm like, 'Nice to meet you.' I smile into the camera, take the picture, and then feel guilty about dunking on him so many times. — Shaquille O'Neal

Georgetown. Alonzo was the guy I always heard about. I've always wanted to measure myself against the best. — Shaquille O'Neal

I was fortunate enough to see and handle and take in everything I could while I was playing. — Shaquille O'Neal

Sometimes I feel like the Tom Hanks character in Big. But my life is not a movie. I never have to go back to Coney Island to find the fortune-teller machine so I have to grow up again. — Shaquille O'Neal

Whenever I see a celebrity that comes to watch me play, I'm going to do for them the same thing they've done for me - bring them some type of joy. — Shaquille O'Neal

I'm not the one buying love. He's the one buying love. — Shaquille O'Neal

When I was young I was on punishment a lot and I used to watch a lot of TV, and I asked myself a question: 'How come people like Mike? How come they like Magic? How come they like Bird? How come they don't like the big guys?' So I just throw a little bit of what they were doing. You smile, you act crazy and silly. And I think people like me because I'm different. I've always been a class clown type of guy. It comes natural. — Shaquille O'Neal

First person who says that to my face, I'll punch you! — Shaquille O'Neal

Anyone can win a slam-dunk contest. The real Superman is dead. He was assassinated by Pat Riley. I'm the Big Cactus now and ready to roll again. — Shaquille O'Neal

You know, I'm very photogenic. — Shaquille O'Neal

There was not too much to do as a kid when we arrived in Germany. Playing basketball and listening to music gave me something to do. — Shaquille O'Neal

I'm not going to try to go out there and outdo him. I don't have to try to outdo him, I'm Shaq. — Shaquille O'Neal

I don't ever want to grow up. I guess I'm like Peter Pan. Grown-ups have problems. I want to stay happy. — Shaquille O'Neal

I'm more like a senior adviser so I don't like to come in here and try to take over. Just like your basic karate movie where the young guys come to the old guys with beards who have them do weird stuff to get to the other side. That's who I am, the old guy with a long beard. — Shaquille O'Neal

I'm playing like Eric Dampier. — Shaquille O'Neal

Because I'm so big, you have to look at me. I think of myself as a monument. But sometimes I like to feel small. — Shaquille O'Neal

I was like, 'Huh? You want my jersey?' — Shaquille O'Neal

We're focusing on the whole pie, not a slice. A slice is good, but it's not good enough to get you fat. We're trying to get fat. — Shaquille O'Neal

I failed, I think, seven [or] eight times before I finally got my first [championship]. It was just, you know, just about me growing up. Now that I'm an old, old veteran-age 29-I do things a lot differently. I don't go to the gentlemen's clubs anymore. I had to slow that down. — Shaquille O'Neal

I want to be strong, dominant. Like Wilt Chamberlain. — Shaquille O'Neal

I think it would be a boring game if everybody was the same, just like it would be boring if you guys asked the same dumb questions. — Shaquille O'Neal

Everything is done out of respect, whether it's a cheer or a boo. — Shaquille O'Neal

A lot of times when I buy a lot of toys, I get a little jealous and keep one or two for myself. So I've got a couple of drones. I've got a couple of remote-control cars. I like to have fun — Shaquille O'Neal

I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak. — Shaquille O'Neal

Me having a beautiful wife and great family and friends around me, all the money I've got, all the things that I've got, a Ferrari that I just ripped the top off of and turned into a convertible, the rings I got, the two mansions on the water, a master's in criminal justice, I'm a cop, plus I look good. So me shooting 40 percent at the foul line is just God's way of saying that nobody's perfect. If I shot 90 percent from the line, it just wouldn't be right. — Shaquille O'Neal

I'm probably going to have to go with Kobester. He's an assassin with LeBron coming right after. — Shaquille O'Neal

We want stuff done right. As long as it's my team, I'll voice my opinion. Yep, it's my team. You media guys might give it to him, like you've given him everything else his whole lifetime, but this is the Diesel's ship. And if we're not right, I'm going to go out there and try to get it right ... Just ask Karl and Garywhy they wanted to come here. It was because of one person, not two. One. — Shaquille O'Neal

No one calls me out, I'm from LSU. — Shaquille O'Neal

I want to go to police academy, I want to actually go out and make a couple of arrests. I want to go undercover. — Shaquille O'Neal

Phil took us to the finals three out of the five years and you want to fire him and want to bring in Mike Krzyzewski? Come on, man. That's like being married to J-Lo, then dropping J-Lo for a girl that's 5-10, 480 (pounds). — Shaquille O'Neal

I don't take anything personal. I just have a certain file in my head, so Earthlings must be careful with what they say. — Shaquille O'Neal

I don't know anything about cars. I can promise you that. — Shaquille O'Neal

I've always been a leader. Every team I've played on, I've led my way. — Shaquille O'Neal

He looks like a woman coach sometimes. I guess he's just trying to get into certain people's heads, but it won't work with me. Like a woman who coaches and cries all the time. He can't get in my head. He's a crybaby. — Shaquille O'Neal

He's the president. I'm the general. Unless I want to get impeached, I got to do what he says. — Shaquille O'Neal

Some of my favorite songs
and I don't know if this is the right terminology
are white-boy classics. — Shaquille O'Neal

As a youngster, my mother and father always drilled into my head having something to fall back on. My father was kind of funny. I'd score 40 points. I'd come home and say, 'Look dad, I scored 40.' He'd never have a smile on his face. He'd be like, 'I saw that move you did. What if you'd hurt your knee?' — Shaquille O'Neal

Why aren't the Nets playing in Newark? — Shaquille O'Neal

I'm dominant every night. I come in every night and get beat up. I never make a face when they try to flagrant or hack-a-Shaq me, because I'm not from this planet. Earthlings don't faze me. — Shaquille O'Neal

Before I became the 'Great Test of the West, I was the 'Beast of the East.' — Shaquille O'Neal

They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning. — Shaquille O'Neal

How did Mike Bibby get on the team? Any Cub Scout with Boy Scouts can do Boy Scoutish things. When Bibby was in the Cub Scouts, he was a Cub Scout. When he was with Vancouver, nobody heard about him. Now that he's with Sacramento ... he's on the team. I ain't going. — Shaquille O'Neal

I got into foul trouble, so I really kind of had to play on egg shells from there on out. — Shaquille O'Neal

They asked me when I was out there, 'Why do you want to be traded?' I said me staying here is like divorcing my wife and marrying someone who looks like me. That's backwards, man. — Shaquille O'Neal

I have orders not to come back until I'm a thousand percent. — Shaquille O'Neal

If you go around the league, anybody with the last name 'vich' is a great shooter. Radmanovic, Vujacic ... all those 'iches. — Shaquille O'Neal

In this millennium that we live in, the 'Hack-a-Shaq'has proven not to work. It might work a couple games every now and then, but when it comes to the playoffs or a championship series, it doesn't work - not at all. — Shaquille O'Neal

The East is going to be pretty easy for me. The Great Chest of the West becomes the Great Beast of the East. — Shaquille O'Neal