Nora Sakavic Quotes & Sayings

Sometimes I think this job is going to kill me," Abby said. "Seeing what people have done, what people continue to do, to my Foxes. I wish I could protect you, but I'm always too late. All I can do is patch you up afterward and hope for the best. I'm sorry, Neil. We should have been there for you. — Nora Sakavic

I won't be like them. I won't let you let me be. — Nora Sakavic

These wounds were going to scar where everyone could see them. Scarred was better than dead, so Neil figured he'd get over the stares eventually. Neil — Nora Sakavic

As he listened to them, Neil realised he was happy. It was such an unexpected and unfamiliar feeling he lost track of the conversation for a minute. — Nora Sakavic

Don't look back, don't slow down, and don't trust anyone. Be anyone but himself, and never be anyone for too long. — Nora Sakavic

Neil had been doing one stupid thing after another all year long and this has turned into one of the best years of his life. — Nora Sakavic

It's not the world that's cruel. It's the people in it. — Nora Sakavic

Andrew has neither purpose nor ambition," Kevin said. "I was the first person who ever looked at Andrew and told him he was worth something. When he comes off these drugs and has nothing else to hold him up I will give him something to build his life around."

"He agreed to this?" Neil asked. "But he's fighting you every step of the way. Why?"

"When I first said you would be Court, why were you upset with me?"

"Because I knew it'd never happen," Neil said, "but I wanted it anyway. — Nora Sakavic

Andrew had nearly killed four men for assaulting Nicky and would have broken Allison's neck for hitting Aaron, but when it came to crimes against his own person Andrew couldn't care less. He held his life in less regard than he did anything else. Neil hated that with a ferocity that was nauseating. — Nora Sakavic

Riko's smile could have frozen hell. "I'm not scared of Kevin. I know him."
"You're going to eat those words," Neil said. "You're going to choke on them. — Nora Sakavic

Did you have any plans to do anything?" Matt finally thought to ask Neil. "Besides the obvious, I mean." Neil wasn't sure if Matt meant Exy or Andrew. — Nora Sakavic

I'm tired of being nothing."
"You are a Fox. You are always going to be nothing. I hate you."
"Nine percent of the time you don't."
"Nine percent of the time I don't want to kill you. I always hate you."
"Every time you say that I believe you a little less."
"No one asked you. — Nora Sakavic

Orange Notes promptly drowned them out with Palmetto's song. The — Nora Sakavic

It's about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you. — Nora Sakavic

I'm not a hallucination. — Nora Sakavic

He wouldn't die a lie. — Nora Sakavic

I'd rather find out exactly why and when you two hooked up than think about this awfulness any longer, so let's talk about that on the ride back instead." Aaron's — Nora Sakavic

It's fine, Coach," Andrew said, catching up to them. He touched Neil's back on his way by, fingers light enough to give Neil goose bumps, but didn't slow on his way to Kevin's side. — Nora Sakavic

The Foxhole Court was the only home he needed; he Foxes were his family. — Nora Sakavic

Whether Neil left today or tomorrow or next week, he'd leave alone. Two, five, ten years from now, if Neil was even still alive, he'd still be alone. He could be anyone, anywhere in the world, but he'd be alone until the day he died. He'd never trust anyone enough to let them in. — Nora Sakavic

At the Foxhole Court "family" was a fantasy invented to make books and Hollywood movies more interesting. — Nora Sakavic

My name is Nathaniel Wesninski," he said, "and my father is dead." It wasn't at all funny, but a second later he was laughing. It sounded hysterical but he couldn't stop. — Nora Sakavic

Family means something different with us because it has to. It's not about blood. It's not even about who we like. It's about who Andrew's willing to protect. — Nora Sakavic

Neil feigned confusion as he got to his feet. "Am I bothering you?" "Beyond the telling." "Interesting," Neil said. "Last week you said nothing gets under your skin." Andrew — Nora Sakavic

Revenge is a motivator only for the weak-willed. — Nora Sakavic

His thoughts should have kept him up all night, but with his friends this close Neil couldn't worry about anything. — Nora Sakavic

Kevin didn't care who he offended and kept his eyes on Dan. "If you'll actually get the ball to us, we can do something with it." Matt looked at Andrew. "One of these days you have to let me hit him." Andrew — Nora Sakavic

Maybe it was Andrew's conviction that swayed Matt. Andrew had never given half a damn about this game before and only honestly tried in scattered bursts. That he cared enough to argue now was unexpected and unprecedented. — Nora Sakavic

He straightened and turned to find Andrew had shifted closer. There was nowhere for Neil to stand except up against Andrew, but somehow Neil didn't mind. They'd been apart for seven weeks but Neil keenly remembered why he'd stayed. He remembered this unyielding, unquestioning weight that could hold him and all of his problems up without breaking a sweat. For the first time in months he could finally breathe again. It was such a relief it was frightening; Neil hadn't meant to lean on Andrew so much. — Nora Sakavic

They never pried, but it took him weeks to realize they didn't have to. They didn't ask for secrets; they settled for the breadcrumb truths of day to day life. They knew he hated vegetables but loved fruit, that his favorite color was gray, and that he didn't like movies or loud music. They were things Neil understood only in terms of survival, but his teammates hoarded these insights like gold. They were piecing Neil together and building a real person around all of his lies. They found the parts of him no disguise could change. — Nora Sakavic

You were supposed to be like me. — Nora Sakavic

You know, I get it. Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court - yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time. I know it's not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur, and I know you're physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don't think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago. So please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone. — Nora Sakavic

Scarred was better than dead, so Neil figured he'd get over the stares eventually. — Nora Sakavic

You were amazing." He — Nora Sakavic

She was breathing, but she was lifeless, a marionette whose strings had been cut. Neil — Nora Sakavic

If you have to keep asking - I'll answer it as many times as you ask. But this is always going to be yes."
"Don't 'always' me. — Nora Sakavic

You have a problem wherein you only invest your time and energy into worthless pursuits."
"This isn't worthless."
"There is no 'this'. This is nothing."
"And I am nothing. And as you've always said, you want nothing. — Nora Sakavic

The only one I'm interested in is you. — Nora Sakavic

Anytime the Foxes mentioned Andrew's upcoming sobriety or Andrew's name popped up in write-ups on the team's performance at games, the focus was on what a danger he was. People talked about his trial and how it saved them from Andrew. No one said what they were doing to save Andrew from himself. — Nora Sakavic

With that, Andrew caught Neil's face in his hands and leaned in. — Nora Sakavic

The court doesn't care what my name is or where I'm from or where I'll be tomorrow. It lets me exist as I am. — Nora Sakavic

It's not really about the food. It's about family. Not necessarily the one we were born with, but the one we chose. This one," Nicky emphasized, gesturing between them. "The people we trust to be part of our lives. The people we care about. — Nora Sakavic

I've been a problem for nineteen years. I'm too tired to be one tonight. Just get me out of here." An — Nora Sakavic

Exy was a bastard sport, an evolved sort of lacrosse on a soccer-sized court with the violence of ice hockey, and Neil loved every part of it. — Nora Sakavic

It's always been 'go'. It's always been 'lie' and 'hide' and 'disappear'. I've never belonged anywhere or had the right to call anything my own. But Coach gave me keys to the court, and you told me to stay. You gave me a key and called it home. I haven't had a home since my parents died. — Nora Sakavic

The buzzer went off again, and Neil's heart stopped. The ringing in his ears wasn't all him. His teammates were screaming, wordless war cries of disbelief and victory. — Nora Sakavic

Death was unpleasant, but it was a familiar and tolerable ache in his chest. — Nora Sakavic

Do girls need kid-glove treatment? I thought they were tougher than that."
Dan's grin was approving. "Most of us are. Some of us are like boys, though, and have delicate egos. — Nora Sakavic

They were different kinds of heartless and Neil, for all his problems connecting with other people, didn't want to be a monster. — Nora Sakavic

We're okay," he said to the empty hall. "We're going to be okay." The Foxes would be okay, at least, and that was more than enough. — Nora Sakavic

Four of Dan's sisters had made it. They wore white sundresses they'd altered so three spelled out FOX. The fourth sported a fox paw that was already starting to lose a toe pad. They practically crushed Dan, smothering her with a group hug before fawning over her. — Nora Sakavic

Who said 'please' that made you hate the word so much?"
Andrew gazed at him in silence for a minute. "I did. — Nora Sakavic

This was everything he wanted, everything he needed, and Neil was never letting go. — Nora Sakavic

If you won't play with me, you'll play for me," Kevin said. "You're never going to get there on your own, so give your game to me. — Nora Sakavic

Enlighten us. If the first step isn't tolerance, where does a pair of bigots begin in fixing a mess like this? — Nora Sakavic

He was something solid to lean against. — Nora Sakavic

Honesty suited Andrew because he was an instigator at heart and his opinions were often unpopular. — Nora Sakavic

It's hard to kill a man when everyone's eyes are on him. Make them love you, make them hate you. I don't care. Just make them look at you. — Nora Sakavic

Oh, Neil, unpredictable as he is unreal. — Nora Sakavic

No one talked about it, but somehow they all ended up in Neil and Matt's room. Matt and Aaron shoved the couch out of the way, and the girls showed up a minute later with blankets. The living room wasn't meant to sleep nine bodies but somehow they made a workable nest out of it. Foxes came and went as they grabbed pillows and changed into pajamas. For a moment, though, Neil and Matt were alone. Matt gave Neil's shoulder a careful squeeze. — Nora Sakavic

You are a Fox. You are always going to be nothing. — Nora Sakavic

Andrew dug a finger in Neil's cheek and forcibly turned his head away. "Don't look at me like that. I am not your answer, and you sure as fuck aren't mine. — Nora Sakavic

Look. Shit happened. Shit's going to keep happening. You don't need me to tell your life isn't fair. You're here because you know it isn't. Life doesn't care what we want out of it; it's up to us to fight for what we want with everything we've got. Seth wanted us to win. He wanted us to make it past the fourth match. I think we owe it to him to perform. Let's show the world what we've got. Let's make this our year. — Nora Sakavic

Time was nothing. Seconds were days, were years, were the breaths that caught between their mouths and the bite of Neil's fingernails against his palms, the scrape of teeth against his lower lip and the warm slide of a tongue against his. — Nora Sakavic

Neil thought about Renee's bruised knuckles, Dan's fierce spirit, and Allison holding her ground on the court a week after Seth's death. He thought about his mother standing unflinching in the face of his father's violent anger and her ruthlessly leaving bodies in their wake. He felt compelled to say, "Some of the strongest people I've known are women. — Nora Sakavic

It had been nine months since Riko Moriyama and Kevin Day stood in the same room together, nine months since Riko destroyed Kevin's hand, and now they were reunited on live television. The audience cheered their hearts out, delighted by Kathy's surprise, but they weren't quite loud enough to drown out Kevin's soft voice at Neil's side.
--
The words sounded like a desperate prayer. — Nora Sakavic

Everything I needed, you already gave me. You let me stay. — Nora Sakavic

Andrew was watching him, still perched on the edge like he had a death wish. Neil wasn't sure why he did it, but he plucked Andrew's cigarette off the sidewalk and stuck it between his lips. He tipped his head to meet Andrew's unwavering gaze and tapped two fingers to his temple in Andrew's mocking salute. — Nora Sakavic

I'm not a math problem." "But I'll still solve you." Neil — Nora Sakavic

He looked at Kevin again. Kevin didn't recognize him, but maybe some part of him remembered the boy he'd met so many years ago. Neil's past was locked in Kevin's memories. It was proof he existed, same as this game they both played. Kevin was proof Neil was real. Maybe Kevin was also the best chance Neil had at knowing when to leave again. If he lived, practiced, and played with Kevin, he'd know when Kevin started to get suspicious. — Nora Sakavic

Neil had never seen him play like this, so intense and fast and determined, but Andrew had promises to keep and a goal to defend. With — Nora Sakavic

I'm sorry."
"Say it again and I will kill you. — Nora Sakavic

For the first time Neil appreciated Andrew's apathy. In a stadium gone mad and with too much on the line tonight, Neil finally saw Andrew as the crucial eye of the storm. Because Andrew refused to get caught up in this, he was the only person on the court with a cool head. — Nora Sakavic

A group of people shouldered their way up to the bar counter at Neil's back, pushing him into Andrew. Andrew didn't budge beneath his weight. He was something solid to lean against, something violent and fierce and unmoving. Neil couldn't remember what it felt like to have someone hold him up. It was terrifying and liberating all at once. His life was out of his control now; he was giving it to Andrew and hoping Andrew would keep it safe. — Nora Sakavic

No one missed Neil's new bands, but after a couple good-natured taunts they kept their word to stay out of Neil and Andrew's not-relationship. Neil — Nora Sakavic

Keys meant Neil had explicit permission to be here and do what he liked. They meant he belonged. — Nora Sakavic

I could burn you down. — Nora Sakavic

I won't lie and say I didn't think about it, but I decided to stay. I trusted you more than I was scared
of him. So trust me now if you can. I'm not going anywhere. I'll take care of Kevin until you return. — Nora Sakavic

You can't cut down someone who's already in the gutter. — Nora Sakavic

He'd come to the Foxhole Court every inch a lie, but his friends made him into someone real. — Nora Sakavic

That's not fair.
Life isn't fair, tweedle-dumb. Get over it. — Nora Sakavic

Neil worried for a moment what they'd do with Andrew's rude brand of teamwork at their backs, but the next time he got a good look at Matt, Matt was grinning like this was the most fun he'd had in years. It — Nora Sakavic

Being related doesn't make us family. — Nora Sakavic

You never explained the change of heart."
"Maybe I got tired of seeing Kevin bend. Or maybe it was the zombies. A few weeks back you and Renee argued contingency plans for a zombie apocalypse. She said she'd focus on survivors. You said you'd go back for some of us. Five of us. You weren't counting Abby or Coach. Since you trust Renee to handle the rest of the team, I'm guessing the last spot is for Dobson. I didn't say anything then because I knew I'd look out for only me when the world went to hell. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to go back for you. — Nora Sakavic

Thank you," he finally said. He couldn't say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. "You were amazing. — Nora Sakavic

Ninety percent of the time the very sight of you makes me want to commit murder. I think about carving the skin from your body and hanging it out as a warning to every other fool who thinks he can stand in my way."
"What about the other ten? — Nora Sakavic

I thought you didn't want to leave." "I don't want to," Neil said. "What would it take to make you stay?" The — Nora Sakavic

He ran until he couldn't breathe, but he never stopped hurting. — Nora Sakavic

Money greases the wheels of the world easier than blood does, and Riko has access to both. — Nora Sakavic

Andrew looked as he always had, and Neil knew his face as well as he knew every iteration of his own. Despite that, something seemed different. — Nora Sakavic

Exy had been a raw point between them since they'd met. It was the critical part of their friendship Andrew refused to acknowledge and Kevin couldn't fix, a dream Andrew wouldn't believe in and Kevin couldn't give up on. — Nora Sakavic

He was their family. They were his. They were worth every cut and bruise and scream. — Nora Sakavic

When I'm playing, I feel like I have control over something. I feel like I have the power to change things. I feel more real out there than I do anywhere else. The court doesn't care what my name is or where I come from or where I'll be tomorrow. It lets me exist. — Nora Sakavic

He dreamed of facing his father on an Exy court, and in his dream the Foxes won. — Nora Sakavic

What the hell was that?" "Coach?" "Don't you dare 'Coach?' me, you malfunctioning retard." "No, but really," Nicky said, looking wide-eyed at Neil. "What happened?" "Neil hit Riko," Matt said. "It was beautiful. — Nora Sakavic

This is my reassured face," Neil said, pointing up at his blank expression. — Nora Sakavic

You couldn't at least use an Exy idiom? I hate baseball. — Nora Sakavic

Thanks, but I can handle him," Neil said.

"We noticed," Dan said dryly. — Nora Sakavic

It went against everything Neil knew to give in, but he'd chosen this path. He'd chosen Andrew. — Nora Sakavic

If it means losing you, then no — Nora Sakavic