Jake Bible Quotes & Sayings

I hate clowns," I say. "Why'd you have to bring up clowns? Zs aren't enough? Gotta talk about the smiley creepy guys too? — Jake Bible

It was a stressful morning," Shane said, tapping his eye patch. "Turns out you can't grow eyes back. Who fucking knew, right?" "Fucking medical system," Max said, taking another drag. "Thanks, Obama. — Jake Bible

I found the floor with my face. Blood — Jake Bible

That just proves I have mad skills. I can shrug under any circumstance. I'm a motherfoing shrugging master, yo. "It — Jake Bible

The gleam off the hull of the ship was almost blinding. "Ugh, it's disgusting," Wanders said. "No character at all. Where are the dings and the dents? Where are the scorch marks?" "It's — Jake Bible

You want to know what happened, right? No, you don't. Just no. Big whopping no. A plate full of no with a side of no. I — Jake Bible

Five seconds," Hole announced. "Until what?" Geist asked. "That's okay, we don't need to know," Wanders said. "Whatever is going to happen is going to happen." "Yes, it is," Hole said. "In three seconds." The — Jake Bible

You'll end up in prison and we all know what happens to numbers in prison." "They are rehabilitated?" Mgurn asked. "In the butt," Ig said. "They are rehabilitated in the butt. Or similar orifice." I — Jake Bible

I got where I am by a combination of guile, street smarts, and perfectly timed assassinations," VanderVoort says. "If you can't out think 'em, out maneuver 'em, or intimidate 'em then be sure to put a bullet between their eyebrows. — Jake Bible

Sixty feet of drug fueled shark sped through the water, ready to eat every damn thing in sight. — Jake Bible

Keep them dumb and broke and you have democratic, capitalistic slavery at its finest. — Jake Bible

I'm just looking forward to visiting a new, exotic place and killing people," Max said as he slid his folder over. "I don't like to tan as much as my brother does. Anyone play poker? I'm up for a few weeks of cards." "As — Jake Bible

We can't afford another Deirdre issue. — Jake Bible

Dog, now Razor, gazed out from behind a dead man's face, fresh blood that wasn't his dripping into his eyes. He looked down at the corpses at his feet, the skinned skull of one staring back at him with dead eyes. Dog knelt down and plucked the orbs from their sockets, popped them in his mouth and chewed with hungry relish. — Jake Bible

there an all of eternity?" I asked. "Isn't it just eternity? I mean, the word eternity sort of implies an end all to it already. Why muddle things by saying all of eternity when you can just say eternity?" She — Jake Bible

Do your part before you die a horrible, screaming death, should be the official slogan of the apocalypse. There could be t-shirts and shit. — Jake Bible

Keep dwelling in the past and you won't see the present. — Jake Bible

Nice to meet ya," Popeye said. He sort of held his hand out. "Do we shake?" "Of course," Ronald said, enveloping the small man's hand in his massive hairy one. "Decorum doesn't go away just because there are bodies on the ground." Ronald — Jake Bible

But the sounds behind me tell me why. I risk a glance and see so many Zs on our asses that I wonder if they've been doing pilates all this time to get in shape for the great Whispering Pines mad-dash marathon. — Jake Bible

I'm going to eat your fucking eyeballs and wear your faces when I'm done with you! — Jake Bible

Holy shit, I think I brought home some cannibal savant or something. Rain Man with a taste for people. Great? — Jake Bible

Promises are like assholes," Elsbeth pipes up. "They stink when you put your nose in them. — Jake Bible

Who's got no thumbs and totally made best friends with a dragon? This guy!" She — Jake Bible

Dude," the boy said, leaning into the girl. "Was that pot laced with something? Because I think I'm seeing a legless guy crawling out of a fucking whale. — Jake Bible

Back off guys," I said. "Nothing happened. I had way too much to drink and Hopsheer let me crash on her floor last night. That's all that happened." "Really?" Tarr asked as he pointed at my neck. "Her rug give you those hickeys?" I — Jake Bible