Diana Joseph Quotes & Sayings

Going home means going back in time. It's not a trip you care to take alone, and anyway, isn't that the main reason to take a mate? So you have an ally in the civil war against your parents? — Diana Joseph

Look, I tell the T-ball mothers. Childhood is oppressive. I determine what the boy's eating and when. I tell him when he's going to bed and when he can get up. I tell him when he can speak and when he must remain silent. There are certain things he's forbidden from ever saying, including Not spaghetti again! and Dad would let me.
But wouldn't you agree that motherhood is equally oppressive? Because of the boy, I can't drop fifty bucks on a pair of shoes. I can't fly to Paris on a moment's notice. I can't stay out all night. I can't even get liquored up when I need to. — Diana Joseph

When a state trooper passes me on the highway, I grit my teeth, check my speed, and hope nobody put a dead guy in the trunk while I was in Wal-Mart last night at two a.m. — Diana Joseph

There's not a girl who's more hopeful than a slut, more optimistic.She may give in but she doesn't give up.She keeps looking, she keeps hoping, she's always waiting for that someone who will say it: i love you too. — Diana Joseph

No one would ever know it to look at me that as soon as I'm alone I am busy busy busy in the head. — Diana Joseph

I could ask him if he think "a lot" means the same as "too many" ... I could tell him that he shouldn't call a girl a slut because someday she might be somebody's mother ... maybe she's a slut because she's lonely, she's sad, she's hoping someone or something will make the lonely and sad go away. — Diana Joseph

The problem, I decided, is that most human beings between the ages of twelve and fifteen look like their needs are special (retarded). — Diana Joseph