Aisha Tyler Quotes & Sayings

No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it. So I think the longer you do stand-up, the more comfortable you are. You stop wanting to hide your foibles and instead want to show who you are. — Aisha Tyler

I think diversity in television is important. It's not about trying to fill a quota or satisfy some idea of diversity, but I think what diversity brings to any daypart is more eyeballs, just more opportunity. — Aisha Tyler

I'm black, and black don't crack. It does droop. — Aisha Tyler

I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being.
Sadly, my being's fibers need to hit the gym. — Aisha Tyler

I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married. — Aisha Tyler

I love to be busy and be challenged. I'm my happiest when I'm under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done. — Aisha Tyler

TV always wants more people to be watching. — Aisha Tyler

You know, I read graphic novels but not encyclopedically. — Aisha Tyler

You know, it's about getting out there and having a good time. Not about worrying - all these young books for women are like I'm 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can't get a date. Come on. — Aisha Tyler

Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough. — Aisha Tyler

Guys as a gender have one giant collective delusion of grandeur. — Aisha Tyler

I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can't wait to get back. Can't wait to have some Timbits. — Aisha Tyler

I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry. I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down. — Aisha Tyler

doesn't teach. Winning rewards. You can only really learn from failure. And in the end, after you have taken a prolonged physical and psychological beating that would destroy a lesser man or woman, you will understand that success is not the absence of failure, but rather the presence of not quitting when you do fail. To win, you need to fail, and fail hard. — Aisha Tyler

I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men. — Aisha Tyler

I grew up on the back of a motorcycle - my dad didn't have a car until I was a teenager. And then my closest friend from grade school was a guy. — Aisha Tyler

People challenge my nerd cred all the time. I just show them the photo of me winning my middle-school science fair, wearing my Casio calculator watch and eyeglasses so big they look like they can see the future. — Aisha Tyler

I don't want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander. — Aisha Tyler

Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don't want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I'm super-grateful. — Aisha Tyler

I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone's afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day. — Aisha Tyler

On general principle, I boycott shows that don't employ actors. — Aisha Tyler

Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish. — Aisha Tyler

I am absolutely a Giants fan and I'm a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time. — Aisha Tyler

When I was young I thought, 'Yeah, people don't see, they're not recognizing how funny I am, and how talented I am'. And the guys that mentored me were like, 'You just have to keep getting up'. And I look back and they were right. They were all right. — Aisha Tyler

I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse. — Aisha Tyler

I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous. — Aisha Tyler

I'm sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood. — Aisha Tyler

But I love stand-up, and it's where I came from creatively, so it's something I never want to walk away from. — Aisha Tyler

The only concept or experience or core belief that I can attribute my other-ness to is that I just started out a weirdo and I stayed a weirdo. And it took me a long time to embrace my outsidership and see it as a strength rather than a weakness. — Aisha Tyler

I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture. — Aisha Tyler

You rarely see women being nice to each other on television anymore. — Aisha Tyler

I'm just myself, so I don't know that I think of myself as a nerd icon. — Aisha Tyler

You can only really learn from failure ... To win, you need to fail, and fail hard. — Aisha Tyler

Karaoke is the great equalizer. — Aisha Tyler

When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned. — Aisha Tyler

I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I'd still have plenty of other things to do. — Aisha Tyler

I'm such a geek, and have always been a real nerd. — Aisha Tyler

How can you not tweet? How else will people know what you ate for breakfast or what you are listening to on Spotify or what your gamerscore is? Ridiculous. Not tweeting is not an option. I am a dolt for even suggesting it. — Aisha Tyler

A bra was not for little kids who dreamed of being astronauts. What are you gonna do with boobs in space? Unless they are currency for some far-flung civilization, all they're going to do is interfere with proper oxygen flow inside your space suit. — Aisha Tyler

I'm just going to be the best version of me that I could possibly be and be as funny as I possibly can. I've just got to be myself and hopefully people will find me. And my audience did find me. — Aisha Tyler

Yes, I do get recognized in public. It's pretty nice. — Aisha Tyler

Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands. — Aisha Tyler

I liked comedy, but didn't know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney. — Aisha Tyler

I've always been a gamer, and I had a period where I was gaming at a really hardcore level. — Aisha Tyler

Just give me a second to get my wind back. Who the hell put that pole there? — Aisha Tyler

I don't believe in superheroes but I love Batman movies. There's a part of every person that is entertained by the idealistic, the fantastic. — Aisha Tyler

I have one girlfriend who is dating right now - she's divorced - and she's on Tinder, so we play Tinder. I know that's not a real game, but it's my favorite thing to do. — Aisha Tyler

I'm my own boss and my boss is a total ass. — Aisha Tyler

They always say some women like to fix people. I don't like to fix people, but you like a challenge. — Aisha Tyler

Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they're always going to be up, and I think that's impossible for anyone. — Aisha Tyler

And I was the only black kid in my school for almost all of my childhood, until I was a teenager. So imagine, if you will, being 6 feet tall by third grade, so essentially being a living maypole. — Aisha Tyler

I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn't do anything academically around the arts. — Aisha Tyler

I'm the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit. — Aisha Tyler

So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes. — Aisha Tyler

Young people are swaddled in delusion. You think you are more awesome than you are, the world more interested in you than it is, your countenance more dazzling, your ideas more captivating, and that LeBron James was just a natural talent recruited from a neighborhood pickup game. You don't want to practice, you don't see the value in sacrifice, and you are convinced there is some vast comedy conspiracy to keep you from buying your first Bentley and dating a model by the time you are twenty-five. Wow. You are a douche. — Aisha Tyler

I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they're already dead and they can't feel it. They don't have feelings. — Aisha Tyler

The best advice anybody could have given me was to keep getting up over and over again. — Aisha Tyler

My parents were vegetarians. I'd show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks. — Aisha Tyler

Get up, go out into the world, and do awesome shit. — Aisha Tyler

I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don't tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards. When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn't going to change who I was. — Aisha Tyler

If you haven't noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome. It is hard, it lasts all day, the lighting is generally fluorescent, and, apparently, drinking at your desk is frowned upon. If you ever needed to ruin someone's fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated. — Aisha Tyler

Pop culture hales you and wants you to fail. — Aisha Tyler

I don't know if I was always an open person, but I think stand-up comics specifically have this way of running towards embarrassing things - whereas regular people tend to run away - because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story. — Aisha Tyler

Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times. — Aisha Tyler

I love being married. I love my husband. I think married people always have that thing where they think that the grass is greener on the single side, but all my single friends are like, "Trust me, you don't want to have to actually interact with these people." — Aisha Tyler

I was raised by a single dad, so I've always just kind of liked "guys" stuff. I think my dad just took me to the things he was interested in. — Aisha Tyler

Because a rebel is just a guy who doesn't have the good sense to go the same way the crowd is going, and the composure to act like that was his idea all along. — Aisha Tyler

I might not agree with myself in a year. — Aisha Tyler

A belief in feminism is a belief in personal freedom - the freedom to live a life free of fear of violence, to select a fulfilling career and be compensated fairly, to choose when to start a family, to marry whom you love. I want everyone, regardless of gender, to live a life free of restriction or fear, able to pursue their own personal brand of happiness and fulfillment. — Aisha Tyler

I love it when I come across a word I don't know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren't smart enough to come along with me. — Aisha Tyler

One thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I've always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience. — Aisha Tyler

I like grown up comedy. — Aisha Tyler

I really do know football. — Aisha Tyler

When one is undone - sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one's own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery - much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China. — Aisha Tyler

Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don't think so. — Aisha Tyler

I was this weird little bookish giant. — Aisha Tyler

Comedy is ugly. It's honest, it's raw. — Aisha Tyler

Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter. — Aisha Tyler

Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work. Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet, wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket. — Aisha Tyler