Quotes & Sayings About Your Mother In Law

Karma can be an ill-timed mistress who always calls when your Mother-in-law is the first to answer the phone ... . and it would be a completely sad story had it not been so surreally hilarious. — Josh Stern

We all know people who tend to overstep their bounds. Maybe it is a mother-in-law who tells you how to run your house or a parent at school who always manages to get you to volunteer for events you don't want to participate in. These types of people can be very draining on us emotionally, demanding too much of our time and energy. For you to be the best woman you can be, you need to put boundaries around those relationships. — Jessica N. Turner

The difference between America and England is that the English think 100 miles is a long distance and the Americans think 100 years is a long time. The difference between an autobiography and an unauthorized biography is like the difference between an account of your life written by your mother and one written by your mother-in-law. — Marilyn Vos Savant

If I die this instant will you be more content with the morning news? Will your coffee taste better? I am not your fate. I am not your government ... I am not your mother, not your father or your nightmare or your health. I am not a fence, not a wall. I am not the law or actuarial tables of your insurance broker. I am a woman with my guts loose in my hands, howling and it's not because I committed hari-kiri. I suggest either you cook me or sew me back up. I suggest you walk into my pain as into the breaking waves of an ocean of blood, and either we will climb out together and walk away. — Marge Piercy

I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it. — Henny Youngman

The only thing more intimidating than a huge international film star is your mother-in-law. — Benjamin Walker

They say the definition of ambivalence is watching your mother-in-law drive over a cliff in your new Cadillac. — David Mamet

Barack Obama is putting his team together to take over the Administration. So far, he's got his mother-in-law, who is going to be living with him, and they are talking about Hillary for Secretary of State. You have your mother-in-law and Hillary Clinton. Sounds like smooth sailing to me. — David Letterman

If there is something in nature you don't understand, odds are it makes sense in a deeper way that is beyond your understanding. So there is a logic to natural things that is much superior to our own. Just as there is a dichotomy in law: 'innocent until proven guilty' as opposed to 'guilty until proven innocent', let me express my rule as follows: what Mother Nature does is rigorous until proven otherwise; what humans and science do is flawed until proven otherwise. — Nassim Nicholas Taleb

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, "I've decided I want to be cremated." I said, "Alright, get your coat." — Dave Spikey

Language-lovers know that there is a word for every fear. Are you afraid of wine? Then you have oenophobia. Tremulous about train travel? You suffer from siderodromophobia. Having misgivings about your mother-in-law is pentheraphobia, and being petrified of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth is arachibutyrophobia. And then there's Franklin Delano Roosevelt's affliction, the fear of fear itself, or phobophobia. — Steven Pinker

RBG often repeated her mother's advice that getting angry was a waste of your own time. Even more often, she shared her mother-in-law's counsel for marriage: that sometimes it helped to be a little deaf. — Irin Carmon

And Raphael will be joining us," Andrea said. "So you get twice the backup. Nobody will be killing you on our watch."
So that was what this was all about. I got a cookie after all. "Aww. I had no idea you cared. I'm touched."
"You should be." Andrea bit another bacon slice. "I'm willing to abandon the tender embrace of my future mother-in-law for your sake."
"About that," Aunt B said. "I'm coming, too."
Dear God, the cookie was poisoned."
12% in 'Magic Rises' by Ilona Andrews — Ilona Andrews

You know you've built a product that can hit the mainstream when your wife, your father, and your mother-in-law can get involved. — Josh Kopelman

To lose a brother is to lose someone with whom you can share the experience of growing old, who is supposed to bring you a sister-in-law and nieces and nephews, creatures who people the tree of your life and give it new branches. To lose your father is to lose the one whose guidance and help you seek, who supports you like a tree trunk supports its branches. To lose your mother, well, that is like losing the sun above you. It is like losing
I'm sorry, I would rather not go on. — Yann Martel

Surely,' I said, 'you don't think that you are going to die because you dreamed you saw your old father; if one dies because one dreams of one's father, what happens to a man who dreams of his mother-in-law? — H. Rider Haggard

My mother-in-law said, 'One day I will dance on your grave.' I said 'I hope you do; I will be buried at sea.' — Les Dawson

Dear Alex,
I think I'm going to organize a search party. Have you fallen off the edge of the earth? Are you still alive?
I called your mother the other day and they haven't heard from you very much either. Is everything OK? Because if it's not, I have a right to know. You're supposed to confide in me because I'm your best friend and ... it's law. And if things are OK then contact me anyway, I'm your friend and I need gossip. It's section two of the same law. — Cecelia Ahern

Just because you're unemployed doesn't mean you're not doing anything useful. You are, for example, at least keeping your mother-in-law's wit sharp. — Marilyn Vos Savant

Then there was this freedom the little guys were always getting killed for. Was it freedom from another country? Freedom from work or disease or death? Freedom from your mother-in-law? Please mister give us a bill of sale on this freedom before we go out and get killed. Give us a bill of sale drawn up plainly in advance what we're getting killed for ... so we can be sure after we've won your war that we've got the same kind of freedom we bargained for. — Dalton Trumbo

Buy it for the lady who's about to become your mother-in-law, the one who's already trying to control your life and the lives of the three children she's already pressuring you to have. Give her the book one day out of nowhere, just as a nice surprise, and when she hugs you, calmly whisper: "Don't fuck with me, Ellen. Don't even think about it. Ever." Then smile at her like everything is wonderful. Because from now on, it will be. — Paul Neilan

Proverbs 6:20-26 20 My son, keep your father's command, And do not forsake the law of your mother. 21 Bind them continually upon your heart; Tie them around your neck. 22 When you roam, they* will lead you; When you sleep, they will keep you; And when you awake, they will speak with you. 23 For the commandment is a lamp, And the law a light; Reproofs of instruction are the way of life, 24 To keep you from the evil woman, From the flattering tongue of a seductress. 25 Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, Nor let her allure you with her eyelids. 26 For by means of a harlot A man is reduced to a crust of bread; And an adulteress* will prey upon his precious life. — Anonymous

He promised me Berlin," Mum says. "It will kill him if we do not arrive."
"It'd take more than that to kill my Roy. Your lot didn't manage it, did they?"
"But what would happen if the brakes fail, Nell?" Mum dabs at her damp forehead with the hem of her cardigan. "Oh, I do hope Roy can take me home."
"He won't."
"Oh, Nell, can you not let me dream?"
"If hopes and dreams were big ice-creams, the world would be right sticky. Now come on, Bridge. Pull yourself together. Jesus wept, look at the state of you. You're as much use as a knitted knife. — Joanna Campbell

You can put a girlfriend on a motorcycle, yes, but what about your children and your bridesmaids, and your mother-in-law? — Anne Fortier

I was thinking of murder, mutilation and dessert like Ignacia Sandoval's instructions for delectable empanadas made of minced mother-in-law's tongue (said to induce peace and harmony in your household), or the gonads of your cheating husband (a savory dish to add spice to your lovemaking). — Sandra Ramos O'Briant

I blinked slowly at that notion. "A honeymoon free of your mother-in-law." "Worth more than gold or jewels," Hades said. — Jim Butcher

There are, I have discovered, ten commandments for mother-in-law. These rules are not mine. They come from mothers-in-law of every color, race, class, and disposition. Given the diversity of the women, the uniformity of opinion on this compels attention -- also discussion. Here are the ten most recommended rules:
1. Keep your mouth shut.
2. Keep your mouth shut.
3. Keep your mouth shut.
4. Keep your mouth shut.
5. Keep your mouth shut.
6. Keep your mouth shut.
7. Keep your mouth shut.
8. Keep your mouth shut.
9. Keep your mouth shut.
10. Keep your mouth shut. — Susan Abel Lieberman

Your mother wouldn't describe a combination of Brad Pitt, Bill Gates, and Prince William as 'quite a catch.' There is nobody walking the earth good enough to be her son-in-law. — Neil Gaiman

Anyway, I heard you and your Mother-in-Law kicked ass! Shame his daddy'o wasn't around for the family reunion, although I doubted a battle is the right way to say 'hi,my name's Kiera and I am sexing up your son's man stick. — Stephanie Hudson

When you begin to read a poem you are entering a foreign country whose laws and language and life are a kind of translation of your own; but to accept it because its stews taste exactly like your old mother's hash, or to reject it because the owl-headed goddess of wisdom in its temple is fatter than the Statue of Liberty, is an equal mark of that want of imagination, that inaccessibility to experience, of which each of us who dies a natural death will die. — Randall Jarrell

One hundred years ago you'd have a child surrounded by other women: your mother, her mother, sisters, cousins, sisters-in-law, mother-in-law. And you'd be a teenager, too young to have had any kind of life yourself. You'd share childcare with a raft of women. They'd help you, keep you company, show you how. Then you'd do the same. Not just people to share in the work of raising children, but people to share in the loving of children. — Elisa Albert

They were dead; I could no longer deny it. What a thing to acknowledge in your heart! To lose a brother is to lose someone with whom you can share the experience of growing old, who is supposed to bring you a sister-in-law and nieces and nephews, creatures to people the tree of your life and give it new branches. To lose your father is to lose the one whose guidance and help you seek, who supports you like a tree trunk supports its branches. To lose your mother, well, that is like losing the sun above you. — Yann Martel

while your mother in law still lives, domestic harmony / is out of the question. — Juvenal

Lilly Marshall's girl?" Julie cut in.
"Yes,and presently-your daughter-in-law."
The older woman should have been bowled over, but Julie St. John did no more than set down her fork to ask in a somewhat aggrieved tone, "Which one married you?"
"Your eldest. It was a brief ceremony performed at sea just last week."
A big smile formed on her mother-in-law's face, shocking Rebecca. "I must say, girl, you have succeeded where all others have failed.I commend you! — Johanna Lindsey

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. — Josh Billings

Scrum is like your mother-in-law, it points out ALL your faults. — Ken Schwaber

You can't make people happy by law. If you said to a bunch of average people two hundred years ago "Would you be happy in a world where medical care is widely available, houses are clean, the world's music and sights and foods can be brought into your home at small cost, travelling even 100 miles is easy, childbirth is generally not fatal to mother or child, you don't have to die of dental abcesses and you don't have to do what the squire tells you" they'd think you were talking about the New Jerusalem and say 'yes'. — Terry Pratchett

You didn't happen to see your future mother-in-law at that meeting today, did you?" May as well milk the effort. "Yes, the hormonal carp was present." "Marshall!" "She blew me a new one, as you would say.""She ripped you a new one," I correct. "The word blow has an entirely different meaning. I suggest you remove it from your lexicon. — Addison Webster Moore

I feel emotionally conflicted. It's like when your mother in-law drives off a cliff in your new Porsche. — Leon M. Lederman

The count came back to young Morcerf.
'Don't you think,' he said, 'on reflection that you were wrong to speak in that way about your mother-in-law in front of Debray?'
'Please, Count,' Morcerf said. 'I beg you, don't use that word in anticipation. — Alexandre Dumas

If it's not one thing, it's your mother-in-law. — Len Bailey

Daughters-in-law, notice the beauty of the rug that your mother-in-law spent a lifetime weaving. Remember that her pattern is mostly firmly established-no need to suggest improvements. Be kinder than necessary, being mindful that the piece of art it took her a lifetime to weave-her masterpiece-she gave to you to keep you warm at night. — Glennon Doyle Melton

I don't think you have to live in the fantasy world of Westeros to have problems with your mother-in-law. — Natalie Dormer

Give up all hope of peace so long as your mother-in-law is alive. — Juvenal

What happens to the relationship you never had with your mother-in-law when your husband dies? — Taylor Jenkins Reid

Yet you would not drive a car with your mouth unless you are my mother-in-law. — Jean-Louis Gassee

Come get your apples! Chernobyl apples!' Someone told her not to advertise that, no one will buy them. 'Don't worry!' she says. 'They buy them anyway. Some need them for their mother-in-law, some for their boss. — Svetlana Alexievich

It's funny. I thought she'd live through anything."
Charlie said, "Me too. I figured even if there was a nuclear war, it would still leave radioactive cockroaches and your mum. — Neil Gaiman

My mother told me two things constantly. One was to be a lady and the other was to be independent, and the law was something most unusual for those times because for most girls growing up in the '40s, the most important degree was not your B.A. but your M.R.S. — Ruth Bader Ginsburg

I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of "go out and fulfill your dreams" and "be everything you were meant to be." But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren. — Erma Bombeck

So we live in two worlds: one characterized by social exchanges and the other characterized by market exchanges. And we apply different norms to these two kinds of relationships. Moreover, introducing market norms into social exchanges, as we have seen, violates the social norms into social exchanges, as we have seen, violates the social norms and hurts the relationships. Once this type of mistake has been committed, recovering a social relationship is difficult. Once you've offered to pay for the delightful Thanksgiving dinner, your mother-in-law will remember the incident for years to come. And if you've ever offered a potential romantic partner the chance to cut to the chase, split the cost of the courting process, and simply go to bed, the odds are that you will have wrecked the romance forever. — Dan Ariely

There's something powerful about knowing the shortest way, even if you take the longer way because you know your mother-in-law is sitting home. — Stephen King

(Giving your mother-in-law a gift is a good idea, but paying her for a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner is not recommended, even if both gestures would cost you the same amount of money.) — Dan Ariely

A car is like a mother-in-law - if you let it, it will rule your life. — Jaime Lerner