Witty Dry Quotes & Sayings

The trouble with Grace, she thought, is that she is so literal. But that was the trouble with most people, when it came down to it; there were very few who enjoyed flights of fantasy, and to have that sort of mind
one which enjoyed dry with and understood the absurd
left one in a shrinking minority. — Alexander McCall Smith

Most of you Mistborn are probably too proud to crawl. I'm surprised you were willing to do so yourself."
"Too proud to crawl?" Kelsier said. "Nosense! Why, I'd say that we Mistborn are too proud not to be humble enough to go crawling about--in a dignified manner, of course."
Dockson frowned, approaching the desk. "Kell, that didn't make any sense."
"We Mistborn need not make sense. — Brandon Sanderson

Every Brit I met had the best sense of humor. They're hilarious: very dry and witty. — Merritt Patterson

Sorry, Bex," Jason said "You don't have the recognizable facial characteristics - such as a huge chin, or a large amount of real estate between the eyes - that would merit the bestowing of a criminal mastermind nickname such as Lockjaw or Walleye. Whereas Crazytop here ... well, just look at her."
"Atleast I can blow-dry my hair straight," I pointed out. "Which is more than what I can say for your nose, Hawkface. — Meg Cabot

Kelsier rapped lightly on the door, and Dockson strolled over, pulling it open.
"And he makes his stunning entry!" Kelsier announced, sweeping into the room, throwing back his mistcloak.
Dockson snorted, shutting the doors. "You're truly a wonder to behold, Kell. Particularly the soot stains on your knees. — Brandon Sanderson

The fashionable woman is sexy, witty, and dry-cleaned. — Mary Quant

And then Ardee herself was so much more complicated in person than she had been as a silent memory. Nine parts witty, clever, fearless, attractive. One part a mean and destructive drunk. Every moment with her was a lottery, but perhaps it was that sense of danger that struck the sparks when they touched, made his skin tingle and his mouth go dry . . . — Joe Abercrombie

Can you tell me the difference between a witch and a wizard?
Sure, a wizard is what they call you when they want to hire you, and a witch is what they call you when they're getting ready to run you out of town. — Barbara Hambly