Things That Piss You Off Quotes & Sayings

I view my job as being someone who is supposed to piss people off. I don't want to be just one-of-the-guys. I don't want to be just a smiling face you see on television presenting some vapid kind of easily-digestible garbage. — Marilyn Manson

The moment I walk into a bookstore, I remember what I love about them. They are an oasis of intellectual calm. Perhaps it's the potential of all the ideas hidden behind those delicious covers. Or perhaps it's the social reverence for the library-like quiet. You don't yell in a bookstore; you'll piss off the books. — Michael Lopp

Some things in life are certain; death, taxes, and that your family will piss you off. — Melanie Finn

I intend to keep writing stories that piss people off, that tell the particular kind of truth I think is valid, that will make me feel more and more like a Writer of Stature, Which I honestly think I am, really, I mean it, I don't doubt it for a second dammit, so stop giggling! Stories that will make Dr Shedd sniff the air and make Lester smile as je thinks, The kid's coming along all right. — Harlan Ellison

If he came upon us burning in the street, I don't think he'd piss on us to put us out. — Stephen King

If you'd just told me you wanted her for yourself, I wouldn't have opened my mouth. Asshole."
"He doesn't want me for himself," Melanie said. "He isn't looking for a relationship."
"It doesn't matter if he's looking," Richart grumbled. "He's found one. The two of you can't take your eyes off each other. And in the rare moments you do, you usually touch."
"What?" Bastien said the same time Melanie did.
Was she as appalled that her feelings were so transparent as he was?
"Don't worry." Richart drew out a handkerchief and wiped his crimson lips. "I doubt anyone else has noticed. Bastien is usually too busy pissing them all off."
"He doesn't piss you off?" Melanie asked.
"Other than just now" - Richart glared at Bastien - "no. I've spent enough time in his company that I've become immune to his bullshit. — Dianne Duvall

There was never a dull moment with Frank. Things you'd think would piss him off, like shooting him, he was happy about. But if you happen to order him a croissant at a diner because his stomach growled all during the morning's blowjob, he gets all bent out of shape about it, as if you've alerted the entire country that he's a foreigner, and then he refuses to fuck you in the men's room after your meal. — Nicole Castle

We were always told we were one step behind Deep Purple, one step behind Led Zeppelin, one step behind everybody. Our manager didn't want to let us know how popular we were. It's only after we did Ozzfest that people started telling me stuff. I thought they were taking the piss. People would come up to me and go, Respect. — Ozzy Osbourne

Inherent in being proactive and trying things and not waiting to be told what to do is the fact that you're going to fail, you're going to make mistakes, and you're probably going to piss people off. And if you're not pissing people off, if you don't have haters, if you're not putting yourself in a situation that has some risks associated with it, you're probably not going to realize your full potential. — Gina Bianchini

Dad would be home soon. This might work to my advantage. I knew bringing the guy home would royally piss him off. He'd have puppies if he found a stranger in the house. Hell, he might even have a llama. — Jus Accardo

Just thought you should know," she said, winking. "Can I tell them to piss off?"
"Oh sure," Jeth said, not nearly as amused by the situation as she was. "Just be polite about it."
Lizzie grinned and said into the comm, "This is the Montrose. The captain says piss off. Politely. — Mindee Arnett

My voice of reason is always Lola. "You're a jackass."
"You only say that when I'm being your voice of reason."
"Out of my head, witch. And don't piss me off, I tell her. "I'll buy you underwear one size too small for Christmas and make you hate life. — Christina Lauren

I would not piss on him was he burning in the flames of hell," Grey said politely.
One of Hal's brows flicked upward, but only momentarily.
"Just so," he said dryly. "The question, though, is whether Fraser might be inclined to perform a similar service for you."
Grey placed his cup carefully in the center of the desk.
"Only if he thought I might drown," he said, and went out. — Diana Gabaldon

And you're not Juliet, dicking around with Romeo like she's got piss for brains and no respect for her house. You're loyal. To your dad, if not to the Titans. — Kati Wilde

It was true that I didn't have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so? — Charles Bukowski

This was going to be the best cup of tea ever, even if it did look piss weak and oily. He took a gentle sip. Motherfuckers. It was coffee. — Simon Dunn

But for the love of piss, make some sort of decision. If you don't want to eat babies and nail bloodbags to walls, that's your choice. What Sarren did or made you do in the past has nothing to do with it now. You're a vampire. Do whatever the hell you want. — Julie Kagawa

Six: everyone - and when I say everyone, I mean absolutely,positively everyone, from the librarians to the students to the staff to the oldest, cruiser janitor - was piss-down-their-legs scared of Miles Richter.
Of all the crazy things I heard about East Shoal, that was the only thing I couldn't believe. — Francesca Zappia

If you really want to seriously piss some people off, follow your heart. — Gregor Collins

You can tell people the truth, but they'll never believe you until the event. In the meantime, the truth will just piss them off and get you in a lot of trouble. — Chuck Palahniuk

It's not very smart to piss off a guy who thinks about killing people for a living. — Will Graham

When the forces that seek to defy God whisper if in our ears - if God really loved me, I wouldn't feel like this ... If I really am beloved, then I should have everything I want ... if I really belong to God, things in my life wouldn't suck - to remember that God has named us and claimed us as God's own. When what seems to be depression or compulsive eating or narcissism or despair or discouragement or resentment or isolation takes over, try picturing it as a vulnerable and desperate force seeking to defy God's grace and mercy in your life. And then tell it to piss off and say defiantly to it, "I am baptized" or "I am God's," because nothing else gets to tell you who you are. — Nadia Bolz-Weber

You interest me,' he said, and his tone suggested this fact itself surprised him, meant something more to him than perhaps it should: a man surprised by being interested was living a piss-poor facsimile of life, in her view. — Meredith Duran

Rich kids who write songs about food stamps always piss me off. I'm not going to write any songs about that, either. — Neko Case

Depression to me is urine yellow. Washed out, exhausted miles of weak piss. The — Gillian Flynn

Who does vote for these dishonest shitheads? Who among us can be happy and proud of having all this innocent blood on our hands? Who are these swine? These flag-sucking half-wits who get fleeced and fooled by stupid little rich kids like George Bush?
They are the same ones who wanted to have Muhammad Ali locked up for refusing to kill gooks. They speak for all that is cruel and stupid and vicious in the American character. They are the racists and hate mongers among us -- they are the Ku Klux Klan. I piss down the throats of these Nazis.

And I am too old to worry about whether they like it or not. Fuck them. — Hunter S. Thompson

Travis walked in and shut the door behind him. "I was mad. I heard you spitting out everything that's wrong with me to America and it pissed me off. I just meant to go out and have a few drinks and try to figure some things out, but before I knew it, I was piss drunk and those girls ... ," he paused. "I woke up this morning and you weren't in bed, and when I found you on the recliner and saw the wrappers on the floor, I felt sick."
"You could have just asked me instead of spending all that money at the grocery store just to bribe me to stay."
"I don't care about the money, Pidge. I was afraid you'd leave and never speak to me again. — Jamie McGuire

Now Ive got this moniker that Im the foot-in-mouth gal, and I keep thinking, In what way? Because I said something you dont agree with? Because I said something you dont like? Im just telling you my opinion. I hate the idea that I cant be honest about how I feel about things because its going to piss somebody off who feels differently. That seems preposterous to me. — Katherine Heigl

He dropped his forehead to hers. I know I'm a little fucked up. Don't give up on me baby. I'm not saying that things will suddenly be perfect. I'm a guy, and guys can be stupid. I admit I need the room to mess up a little. I can't promise I won't piss you off again, but I can promise you that I'll never deliberately hurt you. Nothing is more important to me than you. Nothing. — Suzanne Wright

I might say things to piss you off, but that's just to piss you off. You know I love you, I'll just never love you the way you need to be loved. I'll love you in a way that's easy for me, I hope you adapt even though your feelings are getting deeper and I'm stuck in my ways. I almost changed but you caved in too soon now I'm back to my ways. "Wrong Love" from Crucified for 33 Thoughts — Jackson Saint-Louis

Meaning I want to put words to it. I want to give it a name. I'm not okay with kissing you and holding you, being by your side for all the things a boyfriend would be there for, without it being understood in no uncertain terms that that's what I am to you. I wan us to be a couple. I want to be by your side though everything that's coming, to hold your hand when you're scared and pick you up when you're weak. I want to know that you're not going to run to some other asshole when we disagree or when I try to make sure you do what we both know is the best for you. I wan you to run to me, even if I piss you off. Because I will piss you off. Because I love you. And because you love me. And because I can't go one more day without being able to tell you that as often as it comes to mind, which is about a dozen times a minute. - Jamie Babcock — Catherine Gayle

Life is not all about profundity. Life is about little things that piss you off, little triumphs, little defeats. So, you can't spend all your time being profound. — Timothy Spall

You are beyond mad," said Locke after several moments of silent, furious thought. "Full-on barking madness is a state of rational bliss to which you may not aspire. Men living in gutters and drinking their own piss would shun your company. You are a prancing lunatic. — Scott Lynch

Damn, piss, shit, fuck! — Janet Evanovich

...the only guarantee in this fleeting market day we call life is that no matter how carefully you plod along, you'll grow old and get sick, or a force will sneak up on you in the dark and snuff you like piss on a campfire. Nobody is going to remember your hardest bouldering problem or that you sent your project. After a few years nobody cares who got the gold medal or the gold for that matter. Nobody care who sent what, when, where, why, and how. The memories fade, then just disappear...all that remains is the impact you had on other people — Jeff Jackson

If we don't hold fast to our moral principles, nobody's going to. We don't have to have a majority, but once ten, fifteen, twenty million people start voting left, we'll scare the piss out of the Democrats, and they'll have to respond. But they're not going to respond to us until that happens. — Chris Hedges

Bin Laden was completely protected by the oil companies in this country who told [President] Bush not to go after him because it would piss off the Saudis. — Oliver Stone

Is, er, your friend a member of college staff?"
"No, Al's an artist. And, ah, he's my partner," Larry said. I like it when he calls me that.
I don't think Matthew's mum liked it. "How ... lovely. Is that how you met? Through ... art?"
Larry said "Yes" just as I said, "No, we met when I was having a piss in an alley. — J.L. Merrow

Weasels piss on you, Iz. I'm not done yet. — Susan Dennard

Look guys, I am your worst nightmare. I'm a woman with a badge, a gun, and PMS. Are you really sure you want to piss me off any more tonight? — K.V. McMillan

Finally, I found what seemed at the time to be a lid of some sort. Presuming it was a toilet seat (but not really caring one way or the other) I lifted it up, then dropped my shorts and began to piss. Ahhh ... success. Then I stumbled back to bed and passed out. It wasn't until the next morning that I realized what had actually happened. I woke to the sight of Junior standing over my bed with a look of disgust on his face. Hey, man. Did you pee in my suitcase? — Dave Mustaine

Out of the trees came faerie after faerie, the entirety of the Dark Court, who had apparently been listening to the whole exchange. I looked at Reth, shocked, but he just smiled. I clenched my jaw and shook my head, annoyed. They'd had a plan all along, and it hadn't involved me. I was here for show - Hey, look! Our pet Empty One! You can hitch a ride back if you join now! Limited time offer!
"I did warn her you were less likely to come if you thought you weren't in charge," Reth said, his voice cracked but his tone self-congratulatory.
"Did you warn her I'm highly likely to back out of the entire thing if you piss me off?"
"Perhaps you had better watch your back, stupid glowy golden faerie man whore."
He frowned at me. "That made no sense."
"Good! Now maybe I can join your club." I took a step away from him but immediately felt terrible when he swayed and looked like he was going to fall. — Kiersten White

Remember your six P's - Perfect Practice Prevents Piss Poor Performance. — Chuck Knox

The fact that he got to save the Gwardian's mate and managed to piss him off at the same time, well that was just a bonus and pure luck of circumstance. After all, he had gypsy blood inside of him and could not stop the satisfaction he got from pissing people off. — Madison Thorne Grey

That's what they want: two women. Fellas, I think that's a bit lofty. Because, come on, think about it - if you can't satisfy that one woman, why do you want to piss off another one? Why have two angry women in the bed with you at the same time? And think about it - you know how much you hate to talk after sex, imagine having two women just nagging you to death. — Wanda Sykes

Boy, you don't know when the hell to shut up!" Lance sat back miserably, staring up at Asher, every bit of piss and vinegar gone. "Listen up, Lance. This is the last time I'll talk nice to you before I make your face look like a copy of mine. You're not filing anything. Not against me. Not against her. If you ever dare to bother Savannah again, I will find Serena Shepherd, and I will pay whatever it takes to bring her back to Danvers and have her corroborate every word Savannah Carmichael says about you. So unless you want to be known as the county rapist and be taking it up the ass in lockup for the next decade, you will leave this alone and you will never go near Savannah Carmichael again. You hear me, you goddamned rapist?" "I hear you. I hear," Lance mumbled, slumping back in his chair, utterly defeated. — Katy Regnery

It's ironic that a hundred people can talk to you, and it really does nothing besides piss you the hell off. But then one person, one person, can fucking make the difference. — Stevie J. Cole

I was never one of those girls who dreamt of Prince Charming. To piss off my mom, I would say, 'I'm never having kids and I'm going to be a fabulously rich old maid with cute butlers and dogs.' — Jessica Biel

Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week. — Lewis Black

That's like piss icing on the shit cake. — R.S. Grey