Terry Pratchett Twoflower Quotes & Sayings

He'sh mad?"
"Sort of mad. But mad with lots of money."
"Ah, then he can't be mad. I've been around; if a man hash lotsh of money he'sh just ecshentric. — Terry Pratchett

But what do you want to sacrifice us for?" asked Twoflower. "You hardly know us!" "That's rather the point, isn't it? It's not very good manners to sacrifice a friend. — Terry Pratchett

I just think the world ought to be more sort of organized.'
'That's just fantasy,' said Twoflower.
'I know. That's the trouble.' Rincewind sighed again. — Terry Pratchett

But if you must know, your moon here is rather more powerful than the ones around my own world."
"The moon?" said Twoflower. "I don't under-"
"If I've got to spell it out," said the troll, testily, "I'm suffering from chronic tides. — Terry Pratchett

I bought it in a shop," said Twoflower defensively. "I said I wanted a traveling trunk." "That's what you got, all right," said Rincewind. "It's very loyal," said Twoflower. "Oh yes," agreed Rincewind. "If loyalty is what you look for in a suitcase. — Terry Pratchett

Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant 'idiot'. — Terry Pratchett

Twoflower didn't just look at the world through rose-tinted spectacles, Rincewind knew
he looked at it through a rose-tinted brain, too, and heard it through rose-tinted ears. — Terry Pratchett

Sometimes I think a man could wander across the disc all his life and not see everything there is to see,' said Twoflower. 'And now it seems there are lots of other worlds as well. When I think I might die without seeing a hundredth of all there is to see it makes me feel,' he paused, then added, 'well, humble, I suppose. And very angry, of course. — Terry Pratchett

Picturesque meant - he decided after careful observation of the scenerey that inspired Twoflower to use the word - that the landscape was horribly precipitous. Quaint, when used to describe the occasional village through which they passed, meant fever-ridden and tumbledown. Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, mean 'idiot'. — Terry Pratchett

He looked like someone who smelled like someone who lived in a mushroom, and that bothered Twoflower. — Terry Pratchett

I mean, if a poet sees a daffodil he stares at it and writes a long poem about it, but Twoflower wanders off to find a book on botany. And treads on it. Then — Terry Pratchett

Then there's those wizards on it, who must all be gifted hydrophobes - " "You mean they hate water?" said Twoflower. "No, that wouldn't work," said Rincewind. "Hate is an attracting force, just like love. They really loathe it, the very idea of it revolts them. — Terry Pratchett

Don't worry," said Swires. "The old witch hasn't been seen for years. They say she was done up good and proper by a couple of young tearaways." "Kids of today," commented Rincewind. "I blame the parents," said Twoflower. — Terry Pratchett

I expect everything will turn out all right in the end,' said Twoflower.
Rincewind looked at him. remarks like that always threw him.
'Do you really believe that?' he said. 'I mean, really?'
'Well, things generally do work out satisfactorily, when you come to think about it.'
'If you think the total disruption of my life for the last year is satisfactory then you might be right. I've lost count of the times I've nearly been killed
'
'Twenty-seven,' said Twoflower.
'What?'
'Twenty-seven times,' said Twoflower helpfully. 'I worked it out. But you never actually have.'
'What? Worked it out?' said Rincewind, who was beginning to have the familiar feeling that the conversation had been mugged. — Terry Pratchett

RIGHT, he said, PESTILENCE, OPEN ANOTHER PACK OF CARDS. I'M GOING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS IF IT KILLS ME, FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING OF COURSE. Rincewind grabbed Twoflower and pulled — Terry Pratchett

No," said the shopkeeper, "not really. I always say home is where you hang your hat." "Um, no," said Twoflower, always anxious to enlighten. "Where you hang your hat is a hatstand. A home is - — Terry Pratchett

Another thing Bethan had learned was that there was no real point in trying to understand anything Twoflower said, and that all anyone could do was run alongside the conversation and hope to jump on as it turned a corner. — Terry Pratchett

Don't you understand?" snarled Rincewind. "We are going over the Edge, godsdammit!"
"Can't we do anything about it?"
"No!"
"Then I can't see the sense in panicking," said Twoflower calmly. — Terry Pratchett

It's not that he doesn't appreciate beauty, he just appreciates it in his own way. I mean, if a poet sees a daffodil he stares at it and writes a long poem about it, but Twoflower wanders off to find a book on botany. — Terry Pratchett

Six months ago he was a perfectly ordinary failed wizard. Then he met Twoflower, was employed at an outrageous salary as his guide, and has spent most of the intervening time being shot at, terrorised, chased and hanging from high places with no hope for salvation, or as is now the case, dropping from high places. — Terry Pratchett

Perhaps there is something in this reflected-sound-of-underground-spirits? It was a cumbersome phrase. Rincewind tried to get his tongue around the thick syllables that were the word in Twoflower's own language.
"Ecolirix?" he tried. "Ecro-gnothics? Echo-gnomics?"
That would do. That sounded about right. — Terry Pratchett

I just couldn't stand it any more back in Bes Pelargic,' Twoflower went on blithely, 'sitting at a desk all day, just adding up columns of figures, just a pension to look forward to at the end of it ... where's the romance in that? Twoflower, I thought, it's now or never. You don't just have to listen to stories. You can go there. Now's the time to stop hanging around the docks listening to sailors' tales. — Terry Pratchett

What, playing with cards?" "It's a special kind of playing," said Twoflower. "It's called - " he hesitated. Language wasn't his strong point. "In your language it's called a thing you put across a river, for example," he concluded, "I think. — Terry Pratchett