Sparber Air Quotes & Sayings

In 1980, shortly before my 11th birthday, I wrote my first essay in English. — Pankaj Mishra

She was a widow, and he stripped himself naked while she went to fetch some of her husband's clothes. But before he could put them on, the police were hammering on the front door with their billy clubs. So the fugitive hid on top of a rafter. When the woman let in the police, though, his oversize testicles hung down in full view."
Trout paused again.
The police asked the woman where the guy was. The woman said she didn't know what guy they were talking about," said Trout. "One of the cops saw the testicles hanging down from a rafter and asked what they were. She said they were Chinese temple bells. He believed her. He said he 'd always wanted to hear Chinese temple bells. "He gave them a whack with his billy club, but there was no sound. So he hit them again, a lot harder, a whole lot harder. Do you know what the guy on the rafter shrieked?" Trout asked me. I said I didn't. "He shrieked, 'TING-A-LING, YOU SON OF A BITCH! — Kurt Vonnegut

When you need Stayfree MaxiPads to absorb the expectorants produced by your insulted body, you are in serious fucking trouble. — Stephen King

Sudden emotional and physical shocks, bouts of depression, and fear and anxiety make a person vulnerable to possession by ripping tears in his or her barrier of spiritual protection (the aura). The djinn, having no defined form, can slip through these tears and cracks quite easily. It is believed that a person should never go to bed crying or with feelings of fear and worry, as this invites the djinn to attack during sleep. — Rosemary Ellen Guiley

On our way over to see the bird, — Elizabeth Kolbert