Queen Funny Quotes & Sayings

I am not going to give you disclaimers about what you can expect to find in my story. I went through menopause recently and find I don't much care about anyone's sensibilities anymore. I am called BadSquirrel for a reason. Considering how incredibly rude and grouchy I have become, I expect all of you to be extremely grateful to the QMBG (Queen Mother Bitch Goddess for those of you who haven't kept up) for all of the good warm fuzzy bits of my story. If you like it, it's because she went through it and took out all the really disturbing parts and made me behave. — BadSquirrel

Tell the Queen that there's been a robin red-breast hanging about Kotir grounds. It flies down low and vanishes near the floor. Cludd thinks it might be something to do with those woodlanders. Now, I'm to say nothing to Fortunata or Ashleg ...
'I must tell the Queen that a robin has seen Cludd hanging about. No, that's not right. I must tellt he robin taht Cludd has been hanging the Queen. — Brian Jacques

Did I hear that right? Edgewood's its own little fiefdom now?"
She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes and let the car's acceleration comfort her. "Uh. Yeah. And Crow's Neck, too, I guess."
"And you're its queen."
"Oh God no, don't call me that."
"Yes, Your Highness."
"Chaz."
"Yes. Your Ladyship? Oh, no, wait. Your Nibs?" He glanced over at her. "Get it? Because vampires nibble on people? Ow, don't hit the driver! — Lauren M. Roy

William asked Diana if she'd seen the portrait of the Queen in yesterday's papers. "Her hands looked like she'd been in the garden all day; they were all big and dirty," he laughed. Diana giggled instinctively, then stopped herself. "William, please, don't say that."
"Sorry, Mummy, but it's true: Granny did look really funny."
Granny. How odd it sounded.
"Can I have some wine, Mummy?"
"No, William! Whatever are you thinking?"
"But Mummy, I drink it all the time."
"Erm, no, you don't actually, and, well, you can't have any."
"Yes, I can," he replied with a mischievous but determined grin.
And he did. A small but interesting piece of power play to observe. William knew what he wanted, and Diana was a soft touch with her boys.
- Piers Morgan — Larry King

So Isis shows up in Byblos like "Hey queen my husband is embedded in your palace may I please extract him?"
And the queen is like "sure, go ahead. It's not like he's a major structural support or anything, right?" and Isis is like "haha, sucker".
And she goes and removes the pillar WITHOUT DAMAGING THE PALACE AT ALL
Thus inventing Jenga. — Cory O'Brien

It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating," said the Queen presently. "What would you like best to eat?"
"Turkish Delight, please, your Majesty," said Edmund. — C.S. Lewis

Huh, another queen," Puck mused, an evil grin crossing his face. "Maybe we should drop in and introduce ourselves, ice-boy. Do the whole, hey, we were just in the neighborhood, and we were just wondering if you had any plans to take over the Nevernever. Have a fruit basket. — Julie Kagawa

Day drag." Ashley answered simply. "The sun turns vampires into dust and drag queens into this." He motioned with his hand down his body. — Kyle Adams

I gather you weren't keen on going back to Scotland with your brother at this time of year. I don't say I blame you. Terribly bleak and cutoff in the winter."
"Oh no, Mom," I said, as her words sunk in. "My brother is not going back to Scotland. He and my sister-in-law are going to the Riviera."
The Riviera? I had no idea."
"For my sister-in-law's health. She's feeling rather frail at the moment."
"I don't think that frail would ever be a word to describe your sister-in-law," the Queen said, looking up with a half smile on her lips as a tray of coffee was reeled into the room.
"I managed to have six children without making a fuss. One just got on with it. — Rhys Bowen

In my film 'Queen', there was a funny moment with the bra. My director called and said they are blurring the bra. They said it is vulgar. Our director was furious about it. We are artistes ... We see props as they are. A woman's bra is not a danger to the society. — Kangana Ranaut

Did you really just invite Adrian to your room later?" asked Lissa.
Avery shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. Sometimes we hang out once you guys are all tucked into bed. You aren't going to get jealous, are you?"
"No," laughed Lissa.
"Just curious. Adrian's a good guy."
"Oh?" asked Christian. "Define 'good'." Avery held up her hand and began ticking items off with each finger. "He's devastatingly handsome, funny, rich, related to the queen ... "
"You got your wedding colors picked out?" asked Lissa, still laughing.
"Not yet," said Avery. "I'm still testing the waters. I figured he'd be an easy notch on the Avery Lazar belt, but he's kind of hard to read."
"I really don't want to be hearing this," Christian said. — Richelle Mead

Looks like we have quite the predicament here, boys." I smile at both of them, then eye the coffee in Breckin's hands. "I see the Mormon brought the queen her offering of coffee. Very impressive."
I look at Holder and cock my eyebrow. "Do you wish to reveal your offering, hopeless boy, so that I may decide who shall accompany me at the classroom throne today?"
Breckin looks at me like I've lost my mind. Holder laughs and picks his backpack up off the desk. "Looks like someone's in need of an ego-shattering text today. — Colleen Hoover

Treat me like a king and I'll treat you like a queen ... Treat me like a queen and off with your head — Josh Stern

Every band should study Queen at Live Aid. If you really feel like that barrier is gone, you become Freddie Mercury. I consider him the greatest frontman of all time. Like, it's funny? you'd imagine that Freddie was more than human, but ... You know how he controlled Wembley Stadium at Live Aid in 1985? He stood up there and did his vocal warm ups with the audience. Something that intimate, where they realize, 'Oh yeah, he's just a f***ing dude. — Dave Grohl

That's a Planeswalker demon." Dante slumped into the seat behind her. "You aren't crazy." Meg slid him a bemused glance. "I thought we'd settled that a few weeks back.""Nope," he said,shaking his head. "I was still certain you were loony.""Then why have you been helping me?""I don't know if you've noticed, sweetheart, but you have fabulous tits," Dante said with a sigh. "I figured once you gave up on the whole idea of being queen of the faery world, you might consider sleeping with me. Now I see that demons are real. I'm going to church tomorrow. — Sophie Oak

POLONIUS My lord, the queen would speak with you, and presently.
HAMLET Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape of a camel?
POLONIUS By th'mass, and 'tis like a camel indeed.
HAMLET Methinks it is like a weasel.
POLONIUS It is backed like a weasel.
HAMLET Or like a whale?
POLONIUS Very like a whale.
HAMLET Then I will come to my mother by and by. - They fool me to the top of my bent. - I will come by and by. — William Shakespeare

I'm busy, you're busy, everybody's busy. I've got a lot I want to say to you, though." "All right," Pia told her. "Hit me with it." "First, I'm so sorry about what my uncle Urien did to you guys. I hate him, he killed my family, and we're going to cut off his head, and then I have to be Queen, but before that happens let's do lunch, okay? — Thea Harrison

High school is when I started to get my sense of fashion together. My queen was Candice Swanepoel, who is a friend of mine now, which is kind of funny, but in high school, I was obsessed. I love her street style: she is always in cool boyfriend jeans, boots, and an awesome coat, which is very much like what I wear. — Gigi Hadid

Hey, princess of Popsicles! Queen of curlicue cones. — Wendy Higgins

He'd use this opportunity to impress Rick and show him that he did, in fact, have more to offer than just being a sexy skanktart. To show that he wasn't just a brainless bimfoon, that's when a bimbo breeds with a buffoon, resulting in a true, hot mess. — Kyle Adams

I can't chitchat and make breakfast at the same time. You could help, you know, instead of standing there like the Queen of England. Although you're a lot better-looking. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

And the Lady's mate. Despite having only two legs and small fangs, there was much that was feline in that one, and he approved. — Anne Bishop

Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!' — Russell Howard

Funny isn't it?" said Sebastian. "The lies good people tell. He'll probably make you eggs every day for the rest of your life now, and you'll choke them down because you can't tell him you don't like them."
Clary thought of the Seelie Queen. "Love makes liars of us all? — Cassandra Clare

I have no doubt that you are more than capable of bringing the Monsean queen and my son and the rest of my sons and a hundred Nanderan kittens through an onslaught of howling raiders if you chose to. — Kristin Cashore

There was an audible gasp, like everyone had been sucker-punched, and the sound reverberated through the hall like he'd just announced that not only was god dead, but he'd also been a hermaphroditic drag queen called Miss Demeanor. — Andrea Speed

The queen sighed. "What am I going to do with all of you now!"
"You're going to let us continue our journey," Belgarath replied calmly. "We'll argue about it, of course, but in the end that's the way it'll turn out."
She stared at him.
"You did ask, after all. I'm sure you feel better now that you know. — David Eddings

Arjuro made a scoffing sound. 'You think Lumatere will invade because of you? Are you that important?'

Froi looked away. 'Isaboe would invade if you kidnapped a servant, let alone a friend.'

'Isaboe? We're on first-name terms with the Queen of Lumatere, are we?' Gargarin asked.

Froi found himself bristling. 'What? Do you think I'm some cutthroat for hire who they found hanging around the palace walls with the words "I want
to kill a Charynite King" tattooed on my arse? — Melina Marchetta

Besides, there's no one way to be a girl, Tay. You don't need to fit yourself into what society tells us a girl should be. Girls can be whoever they want. Whether that's an ass-kicking, sarcastic, crime-solving FBI Agent or a funny, gorgeous, witty beauty queen--or both at the same time." She swings an arm around me and pulls me in.

"Are you happy the way you are? Are you comfortable? Do you feel like yourself?"

The corner of my mouth lifts into a half smile. "Yes. Yes. And yes."

"Then that's all that matters. Fuck everything else. — Jen Wilde

The saga started out a normal day - don't they all? I mean, surely one morning back there in prehistoric times a dinosaur woke up, yawned, chewed some coffee beans, and thought his day was going to be dead boring, just before a comet slammed into his neighborhood. — Rachel Caine

On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed. — Russell Brand

I love a smart, well-written show, and '30 Rock,' well, you can't get any better than that. Tina Fey poos funny. There's nothing that she does that isn't funny. That show is an example of how brilliant she is. It's so smart. They've done some brilliant commentary about the 'Housewives' with 'Queen of Jordan,' their show-within-the-show. — Andy Cohen

I think sex is overrated. I don't have sex appeal and I know it. As a matter of fact, I think I'm rather funny looking. My teeth are funny, for one thing, and I have none of the attributes usually required for a movie queen, including the shapeliness. — Audrey Hepburn

Do you really think cards can tell us future??
No matter how you spread the cards but queen is always king ones..!! — Nikhil

I'm probably not very funny. The scripts just don't come in, or the ones that do aren't that good. I suppose I'm just an old drama queen, really. — Ray Winstone

In the meantime, though, the race for the Republican Party presidential nomination sure seems funny. The event known around the world as hashtagGOPClownCar is improbable, colossal, spectacular and shocking; epic, monumental, heinous and disgusting. It's like watching 17 platypuses try to mount the queen of England. You can't tear your eyes away from it. It — Matt Taibbi

Great minds think alike-especially when they are female. — Christina Dodd

The Queen of England jumped out of a helicopter and parachuted into the stadium. What was even more amazing was when Prince Charles flew in using his ears as a hang glider. — Jay Leno

Her friends say she is very funny. At a family dinner, she stood to go, and the footman very properly pulled her chair away. At that moment I asked her a question and she sat down again, except there was no chair. Everyone, including the Queen, laughed and laughed. — Prince Andrew

"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers? — Bill Bailey

I may not be funny. I may not be a singer. I may not be a damn seamstress. I may have diabetes. I may have really bad vision. I may have one leg. I may not know how to read. I may not know who the vice president is. I may technically be an alien of the state. I may have a Zune. I may not know Excel. I may be two 9 year olds in a trench coat. I may not have full control of my bowels. I may drive a '94 Honda Civic. I may not "get" cameras. I may dye my hair with Hydrogen Peroxide. I may be afraid of trees. I may be on fire right now. But I'm a fierce queen. — Justin Johnson

Radical Edwards's profile? He's a seven-foot tall ex-basketball pro hindu guru drag-queen alien.
-Jet Black, from the Cowboy Bebop anime script — Keiko Nobumoto