Poehler Quotes & Sayings

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin said that New Orleans, when rebuilt, will be a chocolate city. And he will be the delicious nut in the center. — Amy Poehler

I didn't really know who I was, but improv had taught me that I could be anyone. I didn't have to wait to be cast - I could give myself the part. I could be an old man or a teenage babysitter or a rodeo clown. In three short years Chicago had taught me that I could decide who I was. My only job was to surround myself with people who respected and supported that choice. Being foolish was the smartest thing to do. — Amy Poehler

The earlier you learn that you should focus on what you have, and not obsess about what you don't have, the happier you will be. — Amy Poehler

Ladies like improv stilts, and I think men like improv giant cocks. But one of the great things about improv is that you get to play some roles you'd never get to play otherwise, you know, like the old Italian pizza-maker who's passing on the business down to his son. You get to play it all when you improvise. — Amy Poehler

I had already made a decision early on that I would be a plain girl with lots of personality, and accepting it made everything a lot easier. If you are lucky, there is a moment in your life when you have some say as to what your currency is going to be. — Amy Poehler

Your ability to navigate & tolerate change & its painful uncomfortableness directly correlates to your happiness & general well-being — Amy Poehler

You can't look stupid if you're having fun. — Amy Poehler

Your ability to navigate & tolerate change & its painful uncomfortableness directly correlates to your happiness & general well-being — Amy Poehler

Hopefully as you get older, you start to learn how to live with your demon. It's hard at first. Some people give their demon so much room that there is no space in their head or bed for love. They feed their demon and it gets really strong and then it makes them stay in abusive relationships or starve their beautiful bodies. But sometimes, you get a little older and get a little bored of the demon. Through good therapy and friends and self-love you can practice treating the demon like a hacky, annoying cousin. Maybe a day even comes when you are getting dressed for a fancy event and it whispers, "You aren't pretty," and you go, "I know, I know, now let me find my earrings." Sometimes you say, "Demon, I promise you I will let you remind me of my ugliness, but right now I am having hot sex so I will check in later. — Amy Poehler

So what do I do? What do we do? How do we move forward when we are tired and afraid? What do we do when the voice in our head is yelling that WE ARE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT? How do we drag ourselves through the muck when our brain is telling us youaredumbandyouwillneverfinishandnoonecaresanditistimeyoustop? Well, the first thing we do is take our brain out and put it in a drawer. Stick it somewhere and let it tantrum until it wears itself out. You may still hear the brain and all the shitty things it is saying to you, but it will be muffled, and just the fact that it is not in your head anymore will make things seem clearer. — Amy Poehler

I am not great in a crowd. I don't see a lot of rock shows because sometimes I am afraid I won't get out. I used to squeeze my little self into the scrum and jump around and cause tiny trouble. Now I just want to sit down and have someone perform my five favorite songs while I eat a light dinner and receive a simultaneous pedicure. Is there some kind of awesome indie/alt/hip-hop/electronica music tour that can do that? — Amy Poehler

I often look to men to model behavior," she goes on after a pause. "Not because I want to squelch what's feminine about me, but because sometimes I want a little more action, a little less feeling in my interactions. I've been doing this thing lately where I try to talk slower at meetings. I take a lot of meetings with women and we all talk really fast. But every guy talks so much slower. Maybe there's a scientist who could tell me why, but I think men are just a little bit more comfortable taking up conversational real estate. So I've been seeing how slow I can tolerate talking. I'm doing it now. Let me tell you, it's really hard for me. — Amy Poehler

I just love bossy women. I could be around them all day. To me, bossy is not a pejorative term at all. It means somebody's passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn't mind leading. — Amy Poehler

Short people DO NOT like to be picked up. — Amy Poehler

Now, before I extend this metaphor, let me make a distinction between career and creativity. Creativity is connected to your passion, that light inside you that drives you. That joy that comes when you do something you love. That small voice that tells you, "I like this. Do this again. You are good at it. Keep going." That is the juicy stuff that lubricates our lives and helps us feel less alone in the world. Your creativity is not a bad boyfriend. It is a really warm older Hispanic lady who has a beautiful laugh and loves to hug. If you are even a little bit nice to her she will make you feel great and maybe cook you delicious food. — Amy Poehler

It's interesting because Swedes subtitle everything, so they're so used to it. When my wife watches a show with subtitles, she has a skill to be able to watch and read. Whereas I'm more of a read or watch. — Greg Poehler

He handed me a rope and it was up to me whether I would climb it or use it to hang myself. — Amy Poehler

Style is obviously important in Haiti. A lot of people wore bright colors and neatly pressed shirts. The taxis and billboards were beautiful. Haiti is not afraid of color. And texture. And depth. The young people looked fierce and bored. They looked like pure energy. There was true aesthetic but also a palpable darkness. I mean, let's get real. Kids are slaves here. Kids are bought and sold and put to work. — Amy Poehler

If you ever want to see heaven, watch a bunch of young girls play. They are all sweat and skinned knees. Energy and open faces. — Amy Poehler

When something feels really big, too big to handle, just go very small. Just go real small, just look at the person next to you and look in their eyes and meet the person next to you, find out their name, change one person's life and make one call, write one letter, give one dollar. Whatever small thing feels like what you can do - it changes the course of the ship and that is all it is. — Amy Poehler

Annie taught me that orphanages were a blast and being rich is the only thing that matters. Grease taught me being in a gang is nonstop fun and you need to dress sexier to have any chance of keeping a guy interested. — Amy Poehler

Even demons gotta sleep. — Amy Poehler

During an interview with Katie Couric Tuesday, Sarah Palin says she is not opposed to gay people, adding 'One of my absolute best friends for the last 30 years happens to be gay and I love her dearly and she doesn't exist.' — Amy Poehler

Everybody is interesting when they are interested in something. — Amy Poehler

You deserve love and you'll get it. — Amy Poehler

Dating in highschool was very different. Boys suddenly went up your shirt, girls were expected to give blow jobs and be sexy. You had to be hot, but not a slut. You had to be into sex, but never have it. Except when your boyfriend wanted it. If you had sex you had to keep it a secret, but also be very good at it. Except not too good, because this better be your first time. — Amy Poehler

I asked the indefatigable Betty White what she was going to do when she got home. She told me she was going to fix herself a "vodka on the rocks and eat a cold hot dog." In one sentence, she proved my theory and made me excited for my future. — Amy Poehler

Girls, if a boy says something that isn't funny, you don't have to laugh. — Amy Poehler

I made the mistake of snooping and reading the model's journal. We finished having medium-to-boring sex and I rifled through his things while he took a shower. I am pretty good at snooping around. It started in my own house, where I would go through every drawer and every pocket in my parents' room. Luckily, I didn't find much at home except for some well-worn copies of Playboy that seem positively charming compared to the up-close butt fisting that pops up on my computer these days when I am trying to order salad tongs from Target. I honed my snooping skills when I babysat. It was then that I saw my first diaphragm, laxatives, and stacks of cash in an underwear drawer. I have basically ransacked every house I have been allowed into. My snooping tendencies have now abated somewhat, but I still have to fight the urge to immediately go through people's shit. I am not proud of this and I realize that by admitting this I am limiting future opportunities to be a houseguest. — Amy Poehler

Change is the only constant. Learn to surf your life instead of planting your feet. — Amy Poehler

I don't like it when bratty, privileged old white guys speak to me like I am their mouthy niece. — Amy Poehler

Go back to the Dalai Lama. He says, I think technology has really increased human ability. But technology cannot produce compassion. — Amy Poehler

Back then there was this wonderful thing called "twilight sleep" where women were given anesthesia at the onset of labor and woke up with a baby. Today "twilight sleep" is when you pass out on your bed while looking at paparazzi photos of Robert Pattinson eating an omelet. — Amy Poehler

Reading was a way to make friends or enemies, a way to discover how all these different people exist in the world and to rub shoulders with them. The ability to feel as if you have met someone, as if that person exists in flesh and blood and that you relate to them somehow, makes you feel a lot less lonely. And it also makes you feel very brave. — Amy Poehler

What do you think Amy Poehler is doing right now? — Georgia Clark

We plan on delivering our baby to the soundtrack of Pink Floyd's The Wall while simultaneously watching The Wizard of Oz. If this kid works with us, we guarantee your minds will be blown! The — Amy Poehler

I wonder if this love will crack open my chest and split me in half. It's scary, this love. — Amy Poehler

This kind of job is magic. It comes around once or twice in a lifetime if you're lucky. And thank god, because it's all-consuming and sometimes work should just be work. — Amy Poehler

Your brain is not your friend when you need to apologize. Your brain and your ego and your intellect all remind you of the facts. — Amy Poehler

I love people like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, people who create and write their own stuff - especially when there's just not enough cool, interesting characters out there. — Debby Ryan

Acting is always something I thought I could do, and I thought I would be pretty good at it, but I thought that I missed the opportunity, that it was too late. — Greg Poehler

Her name is Maya Rudolph! She is a goddamn baby champion and she pushed her cuties out Little House on the Prairie style! — Amy Poehler

I was out of the restaurant business but I still had my appetite. I turned toward my future, mouth watering. — Amy Poehler

You learn early as an actor that creating your own material is the only way to have any control. — Amy Poehler

Calling someone equally as anxious on the phone makes you feel less alone. Sometimes the best thing to hear is not "Don't worry, it's going to be okay" but actually "Tell me about it! The whole world is going to explode and I haven't slept for weeks. Now let me tell you about my specific fears of small boats and big businesses! — Amy Poehler

The great thing about taking big chances when you're younger is you have less to lose, and you don't know as much. So you take big swings. — Amy Poehler

It's never overreacting to ask for what you want and need. — Amy Poehler

don't get a Saturday where you can catch up. The sleep — Amy Poehler

BEN (CONT'D) I am deeply, ridiculously in love with you. Above everything else, I want to be with you, forever. So, Leslie Knope, w - — Amy Poehler

Now on to politics. What's the deal, guys? Seriously. I mean, come on. Get it together. It's like, when are we going to wake up? It's all crazy. Who's with me. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. — Amy Poehler

Fighting aging is like the War on Drugs. It's expensive, does more harm than good, and has been proven to never end. — Amy Poehler

They feed their demon and it gets really strong and then it makes them stay in abusive relationships — Amy Poehler

Tina Fey and I have 15 things in development: 'Laverne and Shirley', 'Starsky and Hutch 3', 'Cagney and Lacey', 'Wonder Twins Activate From Two Hot Broads', 'Little House on the Prairie: The Musical: The Movie'. — Amy Poehler

So many people: Lucille Ball is the earliest incarnation of a woman I thought was funny, Joan Rivers, Roseanne, Carol Burnett, Gilda Radnor, down to current times, where you have Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, and Kristen Wiig. — Chelsea Peretti

Everyone lies about writing. They lie about how easy it is or how hard it was. They perpetuate a romantic idea that writing is some beautiful experience that takes place in an architectural room filled with leather novels and chai tea. — Amy Poehler

We [with Les Charles] started talking about hotel stories, and we found that a lot of the action was happening in the hotel bar. We actually thought of that while we were in a bar: "Why would anyone ever leave here?" — Amy Poehler

The lessons? Women are mighty. George Clooney loves bits. Doing something is often more fun than doing it alone. And you don't always have to win to get the pudding. — Amy Poehler

Sometimes we get defensive about what we feel guilty about. — Amy Poehler

I am old enough now to know I know nothing — Amy Poehler

I am allowed to have healthy self-esteem. — Amy Poehler

Aw, I feel bad if [Taylor] was upset. I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff. — Amy Poehler

Career is the stringing together of opportunities and jobs. Mix in public opinion and past regrets. Add a dash of future panic and a whole lot of financial uncertainty. Career is something that fools you into thinking you are in control and then takes pleasure in reminding you that you aren't. Career is the thing that will not fill you up and will never make you truly whole. — Amy Poehler

I got that amazing feeling you get when you know you are going to lose it in the best, most self-righteous way. I just leaned back and yelled, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU." Then I chased him as he tried to get away from me. "You rich motherfucker! Who do you think you are? You're not better than me. Fuck you and your fucking opinions, you piece of shit. — Amy Poehler

I find that, in general, the amount of sharing men do with each other in one year is about the same as what I share with my female friends while we wait for our cars at the valet. — Amy Poehler

Continue to share your heart with people even if it has been broken. — Amy Poehler

There is an unspoken pact that women are supposed to follow. I am supposed to act like I constantly feel guilty about being away from my kids. (I don't. I love my job.) Mothers who stay at home are supposed to pretend they are bored and wish they were doing more corporate things. (They don't. They love their job.) If we all stick to the plan there will be less blood in the streets. — Amy Poehler

This is the ultimate narcissistic white-girl game. I would picture how I would handle the attack differently. Or the same. Inevitably, I'd think about my own death, which next to staring at your face in a magnifying mirror is probably the worst thing you can do for yourself. The ambulance-chasing aspect combined with the Monday-morning quarterbacking of it all is the luxury afforded to those of us left untouched by trauma. Sometimes I would use these tragedy-porn shows to unlock deep feelings or cut through the numbness. I would read terrible stories to punish myself for my lucky life. Some real deep Irish Catholic shit. Either way, it was all gross and all bad for my health. — Amy Poehler

1. We don't need it to last as long as you think. Hurry up. We are so tired. — Amy Poehler

If there's one big thing you can take from Amy Poehler as a performer, it's committing, full on. — Andy Daly

All of my lower-middle-class Boston issues rose to the surface. I don't like it when bratty, privileged old white guys speak to me like I am their mouthy niece. I got that amazing feeling you get when you know you are going to lose it in the best, most self-righteous way. I just leaned back and yelled, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU." Then I chased him as he tried to get away from me. — Amy Poehler

My generation was obsessed with scoliosis. Judy Blume dedicated an entire novel to it. At least once a month we would line up in the gym, lift our shirts, and bend over, while some creepy old doctor ran his finger up and down our spines. Nuclear war was a high-concept threat, two words that often rang out in political speeches or on the six o-clock news. Our spines. Lice. Nuclear war. The Big Three. — Amy Poehler

It also reminds you of the simple truths that we purposely forget every day or else we would never get out of bed. Things like, nothing lasts forever and relationships can end. The best that can happen is you learn a little more about what you can handle and you stay soft through the pain. Perhaps you feel a little wiser. Maybe your experience can be of help to others. — Amy Poehler

The truth is, writing is this: hard and boring and occasionally great but usually not. — Amy Poehler

If I have learned anything from hip-hop, it's that there's nothing sexy about a baby that ain't yours. — Amy Poehler

I think the hardest thing is to know what you want, ask for it, and then to stop talking. — Amy Poehler

Change is the only constant. Your ability to navigate and tolerate change and its painful uncomfortableness directly correlates to your happiness and general well-being. See what I just did there? I saved you thousands of dollars on self-help books. If you can surf your life rather than plant your feet, you will be happier. Maybe I should have called this book Surf Your Life. The cover could feature a picture of me on a giant wave wearing a wizard hat. I wonder if it's too late. I'll make a call. — Amy Poehler

I lived in Chicago for a few years and got a sense of - kind of that broad-shouldered, windy, um, stern, Midwestern, warm-slash-passive aggressive, wonderful - every adjective I can think of, very cold. — Amy Poehler

A person's tragedy does not make up their entire life. A story carves deep grooves into our brains each time we tell it. But we aren't one story. We can change our stories. — Amy Poehler

Bedtime is fraught with fear and disappointment. When it is just me alone with my restless body and mind, I feel like the whole world is asleep and gone. It's very lonely. I am tired of being tired and talking about how tired I am. — Amy Poehler

Seasons 5 and 6 were about the frustrations of Leslie Knope's new job. They also are about Ben and Leslie finally getting married and pregnant. They dealt with Ann and Chris leaving, Andyand April trying to figure out what they wanted, Donna finding love, and Tom entering a new business venture. I forget what happened with Jerry. — Amy Poehler

It's nice to be short, because people expect less from you. — Amy Poehler

You could just watch your belly grow bigger and no one would be allowed to ask you about it and you would have your baby and a year later you would allow visitors to finally come and meet your little miracle. — Amy Poehler

The computer is the new fireplace, everyone in the family gathers around the digital hearth for warmth. — Amy Poehler

Your career and your passion don't always match up. — Amy Poehler

I asked people who have already finished books for advice, which is akin to asking a mother with a four-year-old what childbirth is like. — Amy Poehler

I don't think a man who is fifteen years younger than me should tell me he is proud of me unless he is my sober coach or my time-travel dad. — Amy Poehler

I think middle age begins once you start looking forward to eating dinner before six thirty, or when you call the cops when your next-door neighbor has a party. — Amy Poehler

Is difficult. It's a weapon and a signal. It can paralyze or motivate. My — Amy Poehler

The scene when Sodapop comes out of the shower in The Outsiders was a very important moment in my adolescence. — Amy Poehler

I wrote it ugly and in pieces. — Amy Poehler

We all have a tiny whispery voice inside of us, but the bad ones are usually at a lower register and come through a little clearer. I don't know where the good voice came from. It was a mix of loving parents, luck, and me. But ever since I was a small child, I would look at places where I wanted to be and believe I would eventually be on the other side of the glass. — Amy Poehler

I was trapped in an awful spiral of insecure narcissism — Amy Poehler

I have found that she is as kind and caring a person as she is hilarious. Simply put, Amy Poehler is my hero. — Aziz Ansari

You put your hand on your heart and feel it beating and decide if what you wrote feels true. — Amy Poehler

No one looks stupid when they're having fun. — Amy Poehler

Sometimes we whisper it quietly and other times we shout it out loud in front of a mirror. I hate how I look. I hate how my face looks my body looks I am too fat or too skinny or too tall or too wide or my legs are too stupid and my face is too smiley or my teeth are dumb and my nose is serious and my stomach is being so lame. Then we think, I am so ungrateful. I have arms and legs and I can walk and I have strong nail beds and I am alive and I am so selfish and I have to read Man's Search for Meaning again and call my parents and volunteer more and reduce my carbon footprint and why am I such a self-obsessed ugly asshole no wonder I hate how I look! I hate how I am! — Amy Poehler

I have realized that mystery is what keeps people away, and I've grown tired of smoke and mirrors. I yearn for the clean, well-lighted place. So let's peek behind the curtain and hail the others like us. The open-faced sandwiches who take risks and live big and smile with all of their teeth. These are the people I want to be around. — Amy Poehler

Emotions are like passing storms, and you have to remind yourself that it won't rain forever. You just have to sit down and watch it pour outside and then peek your head out when it looks dry. — Amy Poehler

I'm more influenced by characters than standups. I love strong, comic women because it's so hard, and I have so much respect for anyone who can do it. I'm a big fan of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and people like that. — Amy Hoggart

Calling people sweetheart makes most people enraged. — Amy Poehler