Quotes & Sayings About One Liners

Thanks to April," she whispered, "you have the wedding you've dreamed about ever since you were a little girl."
Dean's boom of laughter was one more reason she loved this man with all her heart. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Endeavors that help me satisfy you, my goddess of desire, pleasure, and corny one-liners. — Sylvia Day

I think you often say more by saying less. And interestingly enough, I mean, Jesus really set the standard. I mean, he could say more with fewer words than anybody. Most of the parables were less than 250 words. And, boy, did he have some one-liners just packed with truth. — Mark Batterson

Are you in a suit?' I managed at last, my voice choking up. 'You didn't have to dress up for me.'
'Quiet, Sage,' he said. 'I'll make the hilarious one-liners during this daring rescue. — Richelle Mead

I think brilliant stuff comes out of working with limitations. One liners are very limiting, but that's what drew me to them in the first place. — Anthony Jeselnik

I tried to break her before. Now, I just wanted her as she was. I wanted every last beautiful flaw. I wanted the witty one-liners and the coldness that only I knew how to warm. I wanted the fight and the friction and the make-up sex. I wanted her to wake up in my bed every morning. I wanted her shitty cooking and her beautiful, complex mind. — Tarryn Fisher

It would be nice to report she lived happily ever after till the end of her days. But such cheap, cop-out one-liners belong to other uncomplicated fairy tales. — Jennifer Silverwood

If you're playing things sincere in a really absurd, heightened situation, you'll achieve comedy as opposed to just saying funny lines and one-liners and stuff. — Jeff Baena

The more you know about somebody's back story, the deeper you can delve into that well, and the more your comedic choices resonate full-body instead of just being quick, quippy one-liners that are just like a bunch of people trying to be clever. Because after a while, cleverness is just really obnoxious! — Constance Wu

Hold your horses. I'm coming." ...
"From where I'm standing you're just breathing laboriously."
The snow swam out of focus. "Breathing hard. Are you coming or just breathing hard. You've got to get your one-liners straight. — Ilona Andrews

The actors come in and they make characters their own and so Patrick and I have never been the kind to think that our script is the bible. We want to make sure that the story is told, that you stick to the story but if you have to make changes to the character then that's fine. A lot of times there are some funny one-liners, funny things that happen that are out of the ordinary. I like it. — Todd Farmer

No matter how dire a situation may be, I can always find the humor in it somewhere. If I was ever in a horror movie I would be the goofy one who doesn't seem to know quite what's going on but survives to the end with witty one-liners. — A.J. Rose

I want to do it all. I want to climb mountains, go through jungles, fight wars in space, get the girl, shoot the bad-guy full of lead, have all the zippy one liners, bulge muscles out of a singlet, drip sweat and blood on screen, all of that. — Benedict Cumberbatch

Howard got sex-crazy in the winter and probably wanted to send him out on a poontang prowl: Schwab's Drugstore, the extra huts at Fox and Universal, Brownie snapshots of well-lunged girls naked from the waist up. His Majesty's yes or no, then standard gash contracts to the yes's
one-liners in RKO turkeys in exchange for room and board at Hughes Enterprises' fuck pads and frequent nighttime visits from The Man himself. — James Ellroy

If you think about it, the guy who brought out the concept of school, hadn't been to school himself! — Shubham Choudhary

Donald [Trump], is great at - at the one-liners, but he's a chaos candidate. — Jeb Bush

Donald [Trump] is great at the one-liners, but he's a chaos candidate, and he'd be a chaos president. He would not be the commander in chief we need to keep our country safe. — Renee Montagne

Rowena Clark and I had met on the first day of our mixed media class. I'd sat down at her table and said, "Mind if I join you? Figure the best way to learn about art is to sit with a masterpiece." Maybe I was in love, but I was still Adrian Ivashkov.
Rowena had fixed me with a flat look. "Let's get one thing straight. I can see through crap a mile away, and I like girls, not guys, so if you can't handle me telling you what's what, then you'd better take your one-liners and hair gel somewhere else. I don't go to this school to put up with pretty boys like you. I'm here to face dubious employment options with a painting degree and then go get a Guinness after class."
I'd scooted my chair closer to the table. "You and I are going to get along just fine. — Richelle Mead

I always love it whenever Rose delivers one of her witty one-liners - particularly when it's a completely serious situation. The contrast always amuses me, but then, I'm biased. — Richelle Mead

If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count as narrative. — Tim Vine

It occurs to me that John McCain is as intellectually shallow as our current President ... Bush goes bumbling along, grinning and spewing moronic one-liners, as though nobody understands what a colossal failure he has been ... I fear to the depth of my being that John McCain is just like him. — Jack Cafferty

Winning supporters over can only really be achieved by what you do, not what you say. It's no use just smiling and shaking hands and getting quoted with witty one-liners. — Randy Lerner

Tragedy is actually untimely comedy — Adhish Mazumder

It never felt real to me. I never felt I had complete ownership over Bond. Because you'd have these stupid one-liners - which I loathed - and I always felt phony doing them. — Pierce Brosnan

Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners. — Arthur Smith

Make-up? What happened? You look almost female."
"Thanks. You look almost straight. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I know for a fact that no matter where I go, the memory and the suffering of not being with you will cripple me. I will go to work, fire up my PC, only to check if you're online. I will hover the pointer to your name, it will pop your contact details
just the contact details, no photo, no one-liners, no sign of what we used to have
but I shall linger and stare at it for hours. I will attempt to start a chat, but will close it without even a word to type. I will try to divert my thoughts back to work. But will fail. I will always go back to you. One hour to another, it's 5 PM. I pack my things, unproductive for the day and smile. I'm doing that again tomorrow and the next. — CSTPimentel

I think that one-liners are very important and sometimes you don't even know when you're making the movie that it's going to be a great line. I remember when we did The Terminator and I came to the line "I'll be back" I had no idea that it was going to be an important line. — Arnold Schwarzenegger

I can't just say the words, do a lot of one-liners. I love each person I play; I have to be that person. I have to do him true. — Richard Pryor

One of the attractions of translating 'Heroes' is that it's not the kind of play that I write. If it had been, I probably wouldn't have wanted to translate it. There are no one-liners. It's much more a truthful comedy than a play of dazzling wit. — Tom Stoppard

Sometimes it bursts from your imagination fully formed, sometimes you absorb from nonfiction, sometimes you're able to imprint your own autobiographical experiences on a world you never yourself were a part of. A decent number of the one-liners in the title story originally came up in conversations with my girlfriend or my neighbor. — Anthony Marra

President Reagan's one-liners were terrific. — Geraldine Ferraro

Evangelical agencies with ready funding may have too little depth and vision to cope with the current conflict. God's kingdom is built not on perpetual motion, one-liners, and flashbulbs but on Christ. — Carl F. H. Henry

I'm slightly obsessed with drag queens and performers. Their quips and their one-liners, their style, their singing ... I find it fascinating. And thoroughly entertaining. I'd love to play one. — Russell Tovey

* Get one of those marvellous pink rabbit hand blenders. Like the ones I've seen on the late-night shopping channel. — Bridget Golightly

Mike Myers as Austin Powers makes me laugh - that was genius - and Daffy Duck makes me laugh, but I like odd behavior. I don't like hip dialogue and one-liners and all that sort of cool, sophomoric comedy. It's just not for me. — Nicolas Cage

As millions use social media as a primary source of information, the risk of falling victim to being misinformed is high. Readers who quickly scan newsfeeds tend to only read (and share information about) a headline: focusing on "the hook." Whether due to complacency or lack of time, few explore the content. This allows bogus media outlets to descend on the unsuspecting (and unprepared) seekers of instant information, creating false stories with dazzling one-liners, secure in the knowledge that there will be little effort to pursue confirmation or research an entire story. — Carlos Wallace

I was going to write a sharp witty email full of devastating one-liners but I suspect you want something nicer than that — Lucy Robinson

Why is it that men reduce themselves to one-liners and bad movie quotes whenever they get into a fight?" said Parker. "Is there some kind of script they're supposed to follow when they get to this point? Or does the raging testosterone just shut down their higher brain functions? — Matt Forbeck

I'm a comedian and there are a lot of things I'm still learning. I love one liners because I love smart jokes. I also don't like complaining about society or whining about my life on stage. — Anthony Jeselnik

I did a play called 'On Golden Pond' in a dinner theater in Maine and then went to New York for a talent competition having put together a three-man juggling routine and some one-liners and I got myself an agent from that. — Patrick Dempsey

Children are not cruel. Children are mirrors. They want to be "grownup," so they act how grown-ups act when we think they're not looking. They do not act how we tell them to act at school assemblies. They act how we really act. They believe what we believe. They say what we say. And we have taught them that gay people are not okay. That overweight people are not okay. That Muslim people are not okay. That they are not equal. That they are to be feared. And people hurt the things they fear. We know that. What they are doing in the schools, what we are doing in the media
it's all the same. The only difference is that children bully in the hallways and the cafeterias while we bully from behind pulpits and legislative benches and sitcom one-liners. — Glennon Doyle Melton

She lives in a town of sorry history,
indifferent to ethical perspectives,
apathetic to female attributes,
cargo and trunk liners,
spilled oil in the garage,
telephone poles shaped like liquor bottles,
sustaining burly weather,
cardiac distressing cold,
tobacco and mortality,
lying face-up on the bar's concrete floor,
no one can waste a life
faster than a Montana redneck. — Brian D'Ambrosio

One of the ironic things," Kennedy observed to Norman Cousins in the spring of 1963, " ... is that Mr. Khrushchev and I occupy approximately the same political positions inside our governments. He would like to prevent a nuclear war but is under severe pressure from his hard-line crowd, which interprets every move in that direction as appeasement. I've got similar problems ... . The hard-liners in the Soviet Union and the United States feed on one another."8 — Robert F. Kennedy

People are clever, but almost no one ever devises an optimal quip precisely at the needed moment. Therefore, virtually all great one-liners are later inventions - words that people wished they had spouted, but failed to manufacture at the truly opportune instant. — Stephen Jay Gould

I have hundreds of Word documents filled with pages of one-liners. If I begin to write a story, or if one of my thoughts leads to more than a couple paragraphs of writing, I'll go into these documents and pull out lines that I think would work with it. — Chelsea Martin

Why is it we always have the best one-liners for times when they are not needed, but never for when they are? — Marie F. Crow

People's expectations of what I'm capable of doing are very low. People have been used to hearing little one-liners and me play around. — Nicki Minaj

I'm not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny. — Philippe Falardeau

Lord, thy one-liners are as good as thy tricks. Thou art indeed an all-round family entertainer. — Rowan Atkinson

Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage. I've always written in the long format, five, eight, 10-minute pieces rather than one-liners, so since writing books, the process hasn't changed much. A piece in my live routine can end up as part of one of my HBO specials, and it can also end up in one of the books. — George Carlin

Shut it, right there, or I'll give you a hole that won't shut." He pointed the Colt at Clinton, clicking back the hammer. — C.G. Faulkner

No, and in fact I get a bit frustrated, because I'm actually quite good at one-liners, and I've had hundreds of them over the years, and they sink without trace, and I get very frustrated. Every party conference I really work on the speeches, and I always have two or three things I'm quite proud of, and no one ever remembers them. — Vince Cable

In its brief 14-episode run, 'Firefly' gave viewers as much chance of witnessing a horseback chase or train robbery as a laser gun and spacefight in any given episode. Snappy one-liners and silly hats were a constant, of course. — Jay Kristoff

I'm not a confrontational person or comedian. I think we can explore more things if one of us is not fighting with the other. I take it easy. But I do like comedians who are very different from myself: I love dry comics with deadpan one-liners. I look on and think, 'That's amazing; why didn't I think of that?' — Trevor Noah

Well, well, it's enough to make the lice drop dead from my head! Condescend to enter the house. — Halldor Laxness

Appreciation is always appreciated. — Shubham Choudhary

The discovery of oil occurred shortly after the Addis Ababa agreement, the pact that ended the first civil war, that first one lasting almost seventeen years. In 1972, the north and south of Sudan met in Ethiopia, and the peace agreement was signed, including, among other things, provisions to share any of the natural resources of the south, fifty-fifty. Khartoum had agreed to this, but at the time, they believed the primary natural resource in the south was uranium. But at Addis Ababa, no one knew about oil, so when the oil was found, Khartoum was concerned. They had signed this agreement, and the agreement insisted that all resources be split evenly ... But not with oil! To share oil with blacks? This would not do! It was terrible for them, I think, and that is when much of the hard-liners in Khartoum began thinking about canceling Addis Ababa and keeping the oil for themselves. — Dave Eggers

The resulting inability or even desire to reason and think through an idea logically is demonstrated by one-liners such as "I'm not into 'isms. — Ravi Zacharias

Tell me, Francis, do you buy your one-liners wholesale? Only they're well past their sell-by. — Ian Rankin

Impersonating a quiet, gentle librarian like Barbara Gordon
You deserve to be taken out of circulation! — Karl Kesel

Val and Ruth had been friends forever, for so long that Val was used to being the overshadowed one, the "normal" one, the one who set up the witty one-liners, not the one who delivered them. She liked that role; it made her feel safe. Robin to Ruth's Batman. Chewbaca to her Han Solo. — Holly Black

When I was in high school I saw Steven Wright, a brilliant one-liner comedian, and I thought: 'That's what I should do; I should write one-liners.' And I did. My first album is mostly one-liners. — Mike Birbiglia

Jesus was a brilliant Jewish stand-up comedian, a phenomenal improviser. His parables are great one-liners. — Camille Paglia