My Granny Quotes & Sayings

I grew up listening in awe to stories of their wartime adventures. My granny, Joan, was a journalist and wrote amazing letters to my grandpa when he was a prisoner of war, while my nana, Mary, was a Land Girl, then a Wren. They were so independent, resilient and glamorous. — Laura Carmichael

You can always strip and go in naked. I'll watch to make sure nobody comes in."
She walks up to me, the pole gripped firmly in her fingers. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"Uh, yeah," I say, stating the obvious. "I have to warn you, though. If you have granny undies on, you'll blow my fantasy."
"For your information, they're pink satin. As long as we're sharing personal info, are you a boxers or briefs guy?"
"Neither. My boys go free, if you know what I mean." Okay, I don't let my boys go free. She'll just have to figure that out herself.
"Gross, Alex."
"Don't knock it till you try it," I tell her, then walk toward the door. — Simone Elkeles

I defy anybody to not look cool with the guns. My granny could look cool doing that! — Simon Pegg

I started when I was six years old. My first coach was my granny, she was the best player in Slovakia. — Daniela Hantuchova

I may never know what type of effect I have on my sons, just like Granny never knew the effect she had on me. So I just try and make the best decisions that I can, be the best father that I can. — Josh Turner

My granny would come out and stay with us in the winter, and we would listen to the reports from the coastal stations and have a discussion in the middle of Glasgow about what the weather was like in Tiree. — Johann Lamont

Groggy. Achy. My muscles feel like a granny's. — James Dashner

I still loved Granny. It flowed out of my chest. With Granny gone, where would my love go? — Jessica Maria Tuccelli

The Lord givith and the Lord takith away. I was given a lot of signs from the universe and looking at it in retrospect made me feel like God was telling me I needed to follow my dream. My granny getting in that car accident and being at that hospital when I was going there to see my girl ... that whole part of the story where I go to the show and come back to the hospital ... and it was almost like as soon as I found out that my granny didn't make it as soon as I got back, I also found out that my son had just come out. — Ryan Montgomery

My granny used to say if you're too sharp you'll cut yourself, — Terry Pratchett

My granny Torrelli says when you are angry with someone, so angry you are thinking hateful things, so angry maybe you want to punch them, then you should think of the good things about them, and the nice things they've said, and why you liked them in the first place. — Sharon Creech

How can I ever make you understand Cassie and me? I would have to take you there, walk you down every path of our secret shared geography. The truism says it's against all odds for a straight man and woman to be real friends, platonic friends; we rolled thirteen, threw down five aces and ran away giggling. She was the summertime cousin out of storybooks, the one you taught to swim at some midge-humming lake and pestered with tadpoles down her swimsuit, with whom you practiced first kisses on a heather hillside and laughed about it years later over a clandestine joint in your granny's cluttered attic. She painted my fingernails gold and dared me to leave them that way for work ... We climbed out her window and down the fire escape and lay on the roof of the extension below, drinking improvised cocktails and singing Tom Waits and watching the stars spin dizzily around us.
No. — Tana French

Afghan Girl

Ice blue eyes that look to the morning sky as I knit the pieces and remnants of my life. I have No books, no paper, no pencils, and no black boards. I look at the holes in my life as I see the hills of the Appalachians that echo. I think to myself, who will I marry? Is my life-like Pari?

These strings please come together.

Snowflakes give me hope, and my dreams dance all around me. I'll put another log on the fire. I watch the brown paper bag over the broken glass pane letting the cold wind in; I'll take some of these remnants and stuff it.

These strings are come together.

Mama told me that life would be hard. I bartered for flour the other day, and the chickens ain't laying no eggs. I struggle with life and these strings. My hands are worn and tired. Now, I have granny square hands.
I am unclean, unblemished, and finished,

Afghan girl. — Edna Stewart

When Geoffrey was away, the goat often took himself off. He had soon got the goats at Granny's cottage doing his bidding, and Nanny Ogg said once that she had seen what she called 'that devil goat' sitting in the middle of a circle of feral goats up in the hills. She named him 'The Mince of Darkness' because of his small and twinkling hooves, and added, 'Not that I don't like him, stinky as he is. I've always been one for the horns, as you might say. Goats is clever. Sheep ain't. No offence, my dear. — Terry Pratchett

My Italian granny and my mother made great spaghetti, but it wasn't a kind of southern Italian, Godfather-esque kind of thing - it was a wonderful, big mixing pot of all kinds of people - when you came home from school and your mum wasn't in, there were lots of people you could go to. — Peter Capaldi

Mrs. Potter said you were a kind and loving soul, underneath all the rest. I guess that means your heart's so sad that it's hard to get out from under the weight. When I was sad about my mother dying, Granny used to say grief is the heaviest thing to carry alone. So I know all about that -Mike — Pam Munoz Ryan

I remember something that my granny told me once about these misty mountains of ours they call the Smokies. Granny said God hung that haze on purpose, to hide these hills from the folks up in Heaven who was raised here, so they wouldn't look down and be homesick. — Vicki Lane

He's got great credentials by winning the World Cup but he did it with Brazil - my granny could probably have managed Brazil to World Cup success. — Gary Lineker

By far the best dressing up outfit I ever had was a wonderful pair of clown dungarees, which my Granny made. — Kate Middleton

I gave my players a version of the same message at ten-to-three every Saturday: 'I would shoot my granny right now for three points this afternoon.' They knew how important it was to give everything in the cause of victory. Every time. That's why my granny enjoyed more lives than my cat. — Brian Clough

It's Dana! She's back early." He ran his hand frantically over Mitch's neat, blonde hair. "What's she want? What's she doing here?
"Maybe she wants Reese's pot back"
"This is my chance! She's here alone. She wants me. Quick." He yanks my arm and dragged me to the stairs. I cried out in suprise.
"Get out of sight. Throw that away."
"I'm not throwing this away! Besides, you don't think she'll notice that your whole fucking house smells like this? Jesus. Your pupils are the size of her granny panties. Virtuous or not, she isn't stupid. — Richelle Mead

I think my mother's and Granny's storytelling had had the same effect upon me when a child, as the reading of books: my mind was stimulated, my creativity encouraged. — Mark Mathabane

PRAY TELL ME, WHY WERE YOU CONTENT TO LIVE IN THIS TINY LITTLE COUNTRY WHEN, AS YOU KNOW, YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ANYTHING AND ANYBODY IN THE WORLD? "I don't know about the world, not much; but in my part of the world I could make little miracles for ordinary people," Granny replied sharply. "And I never wanted the world - just a part of it, a small part that I could keep safe, that I could keep away from storms. Not the ones of the sky, you understand: there are other kinds. — Terry Pratchett

Resting on the roots of this old oak I lean back against his knotted trunk, shine my granny smith on my sleeve And ponder the days ... — Kellie Elmore

I've been staying after school getting help in trig from Laura Johnson. Shit, it's just school work. And it's fucking Laura, granny panties, Johnson! It's not like I've been secretly banging her as she whispers math problems in my ear or something. — A Meredith Walters

Understand: there are other kinds." AND WOULD YOU SAY YOUR LIFE BENEFITED THE PEOPLE OF LANCRE AND ENVIRONS? After a minute the soul of Granny Weatherwax said, "Well, not boasting, your willingness, I think I have done right, for Lancre at least. I've never been to Environs." MISTRESS WEATHERWAX, THE WORD "ENVIRONS" MEANS, WELL, THEREABOUTS. "All right," said Granny. "I did get about, to be sure." A VERY GOOD LIFE LIVED INDEED, ESMERELDA. "Thank you," said Granny. "I did my best. — Terry Pratchett

My mind flashed back to the Cultural Revolution, when a group of Red Guards pulled our neighbor, Granny Li, out of the opera company's dormitory block and ordered the rest of us to bring out our thermos flasks. We then had to stand and watch as the Red Guards poured ten flasks of boiling water over Granny Li's head. — Ma Jian

Quick, think of a marvelous excuse he'll totally swallow. Aha!"To practice. Unlike you guys, I haven't tried my particular talent since Granny May signed me up for belly-dancing classes when I was fifteen."And, by the way, why the hell did I consent to that? Or decide I loved it? Never mind, he's buying it. In fact, he seems to be hot on the idea. Are his eyes glowing? And is Cole's tongue hanging out? This is why I didn't want to dance in the first place! "Anyway," I rushed on. "I'm going to find a private place where nobody can see to laugh at me while you beat this tent" - or, more likely, these two idiots - "into submission. — Jennifer Rardin

Merrill Krause - "My brothers have scared off just about any fellow who showed interest in getting to know me."
Granny Lassiter - "Well, if a man can't stand up to those brothers of yours, you needn't even consider him. A man ought to be able to hold his own with his wife's family. — Tracie Peterson

I'm really sorry, Jess, but she's going to have to have your room.'

'My room?' exploded Jess. 'There's a perfectly good spare room upstairs!'

'Yes, but you see, darling, Granny can't manage stairs quite so easily anymore. Since Grandpa died and she had that fall, you know- well, her house is too much for her to manage on her own. [...] Granny has to be on the ground floor, love. She can use the groundfloor loo, and we'll convert the old coal shed at the back into a bathroom.'

Jess was too furious to speak. No, wait, she wasn't. 'Where am I supposed to sleep then?' she snapped. 'Out on the pavement? — Sue Limb

I trust my wife's judgement ... That's what Philippe says about Granny, just before all hell breaks loose. — Deborah Harkness

I had an unspoken treaty with myself to never lie in my lyrics, so, for a long time, when I wrote love songs, I would use genderless pronouns, like "dear" and "darling" - like some kind of granny! — Arca

makes me more than sad, it makes my heart burn within me, to see that folk can make a jest of striving men; of chaps who comed to ask for a bit o' fire for th' old granny, as shivers i' th' cold; for a bit o' bedding, and some warm clothing to the poor wife who lies in labour on th' damp flags; and for victuals for the childer, whose little voices are getting too faint and weak to cry aloud wi' hunger. For, brothers, is not them the things we ask for when we ask for more wage? We donnot want dainties, we want bellyfuls; we donnot want gimcrack coats and waistcoats, we want warm clothes; and so that we get 'em, we'd not quarrel wi' what they're made on. We donnot want their grand houses, we want a roof to cover us from the rain, and the snow, and the storm; ay, and not alone to cover us, but the helpless ones that cling to us in the keen wind, and ask us with their eyes why we brought 'em into th' world to suffer?" He — Elizabeth Gaskell

My mum still says the biggest mistake I ever made was not being Benedict Lloyd-Hughes. She's very upset. But the only one who calls me Benedict in real life is my granny. — Ben Lloyd-Hughes

Fiftey years isn't too bad. With luck you might see it happen when your a sweet,old granny,dandling big fat babies on your knee. Actully"-he held up a hand,interrupting Kitty's cry of protest-"no,that's wrong. My projection is incorrect."
"Good."
"You'll never be a sweet old granny. Let's say,'sad,lonely old biddy' instead. — Jonathan Stroud

My life came down to being a granny and watching a lot of television. — Joni Mitchell

I first fell in love with comedy when I'd visit my granny as a kid. Trips to her house meant staying up late drinking Coca-Cola and watching 'Saturday Night Live'. — Jessica Williams

I was born in Japan, so for me, Uniqlo is a family brand. My granny used to wear Uniqlo. And my Italian dad wore Uniqlo. I wore Uniqlo, of course. — Nicola Formichetti

But like any friendship or relationship, everything starts off as a tiny sprout-or so my granny says. If you neglect or smother it, it will eventually wither. But when nurtured and cared for properly...it will bloom into something special. — Instantmiso

Mother did not answer. She was still gazing up at the sky. After a while she said, "I made up a sort of saying for myself, Nat. I will lift up my eyes unto the stars. Sometimes, if you look at the stars long enough, it helps. It shrinks your day-by-day troubles down to size." She smiled. 'We'd better go back. Granny and Father will be wondering where we are. — Jean Lee Latham

I grew silent and reserved as the nature of the world in which I lived became plain and undeniable; the bleakness of the future affected my will to study. Granny had already thrown out hints that it was time for me to be on my own. But what had I learned so far that would help me to make a living? Nothing. I could be a porter like my father before me, but what else? And the problem of living as a Negro was cold and hard. What was it that made the hate of whites for blacks so steady, seemingly so woven into the texture of things? What kind of life was possible under that hate? How had this — Richard Wright

My mum - and my granny and I - would close the curtains, turn on the TV and snuggle up and watch 'Come Dancing.' It was actually my granny who was the biggest fan; she loved the show, and she passed on her passion for it to me. I loved the dancing but also the frocks and the glamour. — Cherie Lunghi

My grandparents never understood why my mother Noreen chose such exotic names for her children: Damon and me. My granny insisted on calling my brother Dermot - a good Irish name - until she died; I was just known as 'wee one.' — Natascha McElhone

I knew it was really, really popular when my granny told me she watched it, and was addicted. When your granny is interested, you know you're on to a winner. — Davina McCall

Peabody, you never cease to amaze me."
"One day I'll tell you about my granny and her five lovers."
"Five lovers isn't abnormal for a woman's lifetime."
"Not in her lifetime; last month. All at the same time." Peabody glanced up, deadpan. "She's ninety-eight. I hope to take after her. — J.D. Robb

Gran, for the gods' love, it's talk like yours that starts riots!" I said keeping my voice down. "Will you just put a stopper in it?"
She looked at me and sighed. "Girl, do you ever take a breath and wonder if folk don't put out bait for you? To see if you'll bite? You'll never get a man if you don't relax."
My dear old Gran. It's a wonder her children aren't every one of them as mad as priests, if she mangles their wits as she mangles mine.
"Granny, "I told her, "this is dead serious. I can't relax, no more than any Dog. I'm not shopping for a man. That's the last thing I need. — Tamora Pierce

I love my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, but I'd take a bullet for my parents or my sister without a second thought."
"Dude," Greg whispered,"you wouldn't take one for your granny?"
"No one's going to shoot my grandma," Jace said dismissively. — Jay Bell

I'd like to cook for my granny one more time. I cooked for her a couple of times before she passed away, but I wasn't really old enough. — Arthur Potts Dawson

You mean it's my destiny? she said at last.
Granny shrugged. Something like that. Probably. Who knows? — Terry Pratchett

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, it shows?"
Before Jude could answer, Brenna was up, pacing, knocking the heels of her hands against the sides of her, moaning out curses. "I'll have to move away, leave my family. I can go to the west counties. I have some people, on my mother's side, in Galway. No, no, that's not far enough. I'll have to leave the country entirely. I'll go to Chicago and stay with your granny until I get on me feet. She'll take me in, won't she? — Nora Roberts

It's only money." "Yes, but it's only my money, not only your money," Nanny pointed out. "We witches have always held everything in common, you know that," said Granny. "Well, yes," said Nanny, and once again cut to the heart of the sociopolitical debate. "It's easy to hold everything in common when no one's got anything. — Terry Pratchett

I am fairly certain that my independent, high-spirited grandmother must have had a childhood similar to Betsy Ray'sAs I read about the School Entertainment and ice cream socials, about ladies leaving calling cards and the milkman with his horse-drawn wagon, I felt that I was having an unexpected and welcome peek into Granny's childhood-a gift to me from Maud Hart Lovelace — Ann M. Martin

I HAVE WATCHED YOUR PROGRESS WITH INTEREST, ESMERELDA WEATHERWAX, said the voice in the dark. He was firm, but oh so polite. But now there was a question in his voice. PRAY TELL ME, WHY WERE YOU CONTENT TO LIVE IN THIS TINY LITTLE COUNTRY WHEN, AS YOU KNOW, YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ANYTHING AND ANYBODY IN THE WORLD? "I don't know about the world, not much; but in my part of the world I could make little miracles for ordinary people," Granny replied sharply. "And I never wanted the world - just a part of it, a small part that I could keep safe, that I could keep away from storms. Not the ones of the sky, you — Terry Pratchett

One Monday, just for sport, Charlie grabbed an eggplant that a spectacularly wizened granny was going for, but instead of twisting it out of his hand with some mystic kung fu move as he expected, she looked him in the eye and shook her head - just a jog, barely perceptible really - it might have been a tic, but it was the most eloquent of gestures. Charlie read it as saying: O White Devil, you do not want to purloin that purple fruit, for I have four thousand years of ancestors and civilization on you; my grandparents built the railroads and dug the silver mines, and my parents survived the earthquake, the fire, and a society that outlawed even being Chinese; I am mother to a dozen, grandmother to a hundred, and great-grandmother to a legion; I have birthed babies and washed the dead; I am history and suffering and wisdom; I am a Buddha and a dragon; so get your fucking hand off my eggplant before you lose it. — Christopher Moore

Granny sat down on the step and stared off into the trees. That girl right there, she was my only child. I have lost two husbands, one by death, the other by divorce, and I have lost my parents and my brothers and sisters. But nothing ever pierced me to the core like that little girl's dying. I know it wasn't your daddy's fault. I know I messed up by filling a report to Social Services. Is that what you want to here? Is that what it takes for you not to be mad at me? — Frances O'Roark Dowell

I turned my back on Coyote without saying another word. He didn't want to know what I was going to do with those granny panties. Surprisingly, Granuaile did. "Sensei, what were you going to do with those marshmallows and panties?" she whispered as we walked together. "I mean, I'm sure it had to be dire, but it just didn't sound as threatening as the potential havoc a monkey could wreak on his sack." "There was more to that recipe," I admitted. "He cut me off before I could get to the Icy Hot and the gopher snake." "Ew. What would you do with that?" "I will leave it to you as an exercise." I — Kevin Hearne

Being in my mom's skin, feeling what she'd felt those years before. It was the sudden realization that my dying granny, who had been distant and alien to me, was my mom's mom. — Hugh Howey

When I look in the mirror, I sometimes think I'm getting old, but then I have two generations behind me so that helps puts things into perspective. I am a grandmother now, but at least my nine-year-old grandson Jude calls me Glamma and not Granny. — Stephanie Beacham

My Nana Westbrook, true as a saint's prayer, always used to say the Devil was a woman thought up by the Good Lord Himself to test a man's mettle and drag him down to Hell if he came up short and, Lordy, I sure as hell kept my granny's wise words to heart, God rest her soul, never once dipping my stick in a place where it might get snapped. — Ojo Blacke

One day, while at the drugstore picking up some aspirin for my Mom, dear old Mrs. Burns, our pharmacist, shoved a pack of condoms into my hand with a conspiratorial wink.
"They glow in the dark," she whispered.
This, from a sixty-five year-old granny, I kid you not. Stuff of nightmares. — Ramona Wray

I don't think of you as perfect.
"Oh ... ok." My eyelashes blinked in rapid succession and my brain started compiling the list of
all my imperfections, "It's because of my height? My seepage of trivial facts? My granny panties- — Penny Reid

I'm an absolute clean freak. I'll go to my friends' houses and even start cleaning. I'm such a granny at heart. My couch is my best friend. — Cassie Scerbo

Did Lovelace's forces find you? Did Jabor break in?"
He spoke slowly through clenched teeth. "I went to get a newspaper"
This is getting better and better! I shook my head regretfully. "You should leave such a dangerous assignment to people better qualified: next time ask an old granny, or a toddler- — Jonathan Stroud

It is out of reality that the most peculiar tale of all is born ... Some call me the Elder Granny, others - the Dryad, but my real name is Memory. It is I who sits on a tree that keeps on growing, and growing, it is I who reminisces and tells stories. — Hans Christian Andersen

The monsoons had cooled down the temperature and a thick blanket, folded into a perfect rectangle, lay at the foot of my bed. Grandma must have come to inspect the settings a hundred times, being a perfectionist. Her love was evident in every little thing that was present in the house. It was soothing to be back in the house. Something unwounded from within, the moment I entered it. — Preethi Venugopala

My granny was very concerned that we weren't baptised - Mum had been desperate to escape her own Catholic upbringing. But Granny thought we were blighted. Whenever we turned up at her house, she would flick holy water - from the font she kept by the door - over us, in the hope that it would save us from damnation. — Natascha McElhone

Here's the deal: no touching, no hand-holding, no flirting, no sexy talk, no dancing, and absolutely no kissy face."

"You didn't mention no sex, did you? I might have you on a technicality."


"You and me alone, eating, talking, maybe even having a good time. Yeah, it might be a date."


"I've seen what's in your pantry, and I respect my arteries too much to indulge."

"That's the thing about snakes - even if they're harmless, they look like such badasses it doesn't really matter."

"You're lying. You're really wearing a pair of granny panties. — Wendy Byrne

hand. Uncle Patrick and Da went out. "They'll have a word with him," Granny said to the woman. "It's the drink," the woman said. "The devil gets into him." Uncle Patrick and Da came back and the woman left with them. "Made him see sense," Uncle Patrick said to Granny when he and my da returned. "One — Mary Pat Kelly

To Tiffany's surprise, Nanny Ogg was weeping gently. Nanny took another swig from her flagon and wiped her eyes. 'Cryin' helps sometimes,' she said. 'No shame in tears for them as you've loved. Sometimes I remember one of my husbands and shed a tear or two. The memories're there to be treasured, and it's no good to get morbid-like about it. — Terry Pratchett

My granny always says Women are like angels, when someone breaks our wings we continue to fly around on our broomsticks because we're flexible like that — Sophie Monroe

My dandy voice makes the most anti-choice granny's panties moist, — MC Paul Barman

But the banging of the door as punctuation caused Tiffany to think and she thought suddenly, I want to do it my way. Not how the other witches think it should be done. I can't be Granny Weatherwax for them. I can only be me, Tiffany Aching. — Terry Pratchett

They bombed my granny's chippie, left it completely flat. I'll have her for that — Jane Couch

My name is unpronounceable in your tongue, woman," it said.
"I'll be the judge of that," warned Granny, and added, "Don't call me woman."
"Very well. My name is WxrtHltl-jwlpklz," said the demon smugly. — Terry Pratchett

Man, my girl is one tough chick when she wants to be. I wonder if it has something to do with those
big, comfy granny panties she's got on. — Simone Elkeles

Jesse squeezed her breasts ardently. "I just love your round parts, Miss Althea. They are just about the best things I ever felt in my life."
He proved his enthusiasm for them by kneading, manipulating, and caressing until Althea was standing on her tiptoes, every muscle in her body straining to give him better access.
"Oh, Miss Althea," he said finally, removing his hands from her body. "This is the most fun I ever had in my life."
He was breathing as if he'd just run up the mountain, pulling Granny Piggott on the skid. — Pamela Morsi

Tomorrow would be a new day filled with uncertainty and very possibly danger, but right now all was right with my world. "Come on, baby. Let's go home," Hank said. "Will you guys be okay?" I asked my granny and BFF. "Oh, hell yeah. We're gonna play Twister and then try on wigs and girdles," Granny informed us. Hank seemed confused, so I pushed him out the door before he asked questions he didn't want the answers to. "That visual was disturbing, — Robyn Peterman

Granny said. Only fellow my age I know still got lead in his pencil. — Paul Levine