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Most Sarcastic Quotes & Sayings

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Top Most Sarcastic Quotes

Most Sarcastic Quotes By K.R. Grace

Babe, I hate to break it to you, but you're one messed up mess."
"I know!" I exclaimed before breaking off into a fit of laughter. "I ought to be admitted or put on some serious medication or something. — K.R. Grace

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Heidi Schulz

It pains me to admit this, but Roger was a good sight less stupid than most children. — Heidi Schulz

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Valerie Solanas

The male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples. — Valerie Solanas

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Alain De Botton

What should worry us is not the number of people who oppose us, but how good their reasons are for doing so. We should therefore divert our attention away from the presence of unpopularity to the explanations for it. It may be frightening to hear that a high proportion of a community holds us to be wrong, but before abandoning our position, we should consider the method by which their conclusions have been reached. It is the soundness of their method of thinking that should determine the weight we give to their disapproval. We seem afflicted by the opposite tendency: to listen to everyone, to be upset by every unkind word and sarcastic observation. We fail to ask ourselves the cardinal and most consoling question: on what basis has this dark censure been made? We treat with equal seriousness the objections of the critic who has thought rigorously and honestly and those of the critic who has acted out of misanthropy and envy. — Alain De Botton

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Kaitlyn Greenidge

I am not beautiful and I am sarcastic and I believe I am better than most in this town and that is why I am a thirty-six-year-old orphan with no husband and why no man in Spring City has ever even held my hand. — Kaitlyn Greenidge

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Bryan Singer

Since I started making films, I've been a nut for dialogue. When I first saw Star Wars when I was 12 years old, I came home and recited all of the lines from it. Before I talked about Death Stars exploding and Tie Fighters I was talking about how funny Princess Leia was and how sarcastic Han Solo was. So to me that's always the most important thing, and I love hearing great actors say great lines. — Bryan Singer

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Ronald Reagan

The little dictator who went to Moscow in his green fatigues to receive a bear hug did not forsake the doctrine of Lenin when he returned to the West and appeared in a two-piece suit. (On Daniel Ortega Saavedra) — Ronald Reagan

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Kiersten White

Wait-you mean the Mall, as in a bunch of museums in DC that we would wander around and I'd pretend like I understood modern art while really thinking, holy crap, a gremlin could have painted that and for all we know did, or the mall, as in picking out a new pair of shoes, eating food that's terrible for us, and making up life stories for all the people that pass us?"
'I can see now that I must have meant the second.'
"What a smart boy. — Kiersten White

Most Sarcastic Quotes By L.A. Casey

No, and I don't like mornin' people... or mornin's... or people."
"Wow, I'm a lucky guy to have you, baby."
Sarcastic pig! — L.A. Casey

Most Sarcastic Quotes By D.W. Moneypenny

Sometimes I sound sarcastic when I don't mean to." "Only when you're speaking." Ping patted her shoulder. — D.W. Moneypenny

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Andre Brie

The atmosphere of Venus consists of ammonia, sulfur, and nitric oxide. Man must have lived there once. — Andre Brie

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Cassandra Clare

No need to be sarcastic, Codex.
I think that's sincere, actually.
Wow. — Cassandra Clare

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Willie Rushton

German in the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. — Willie Rushton

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Tertullian

He has inhibited discussion by designating admonition as the method of dealing with a heretic- and the first method, too, because he is not a Christian. This is so that he would not seem to require correction again and again and before two or three witnesses as though he were a Christian. He ought to be corrected for the very reason that he is not to be disputed with. In addition, this is said because a controversy over the Scriptures can, clearly, produce no other effect than help to upset either the stomach or the brain. — Tertullian

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Tammara Webber

I thought I dreamed you." The words whisper from my parched throat.
His head tilts to one side, his mouth shifting to something less sarcastic, more amused. "That may be the most enchanting thing I've ever been told after spending the night with a girl. — Tammara Webber

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Raymond Chandler

She was kind of girl who'd eat all your cashews and leave you with nothing but peanuts and filberts. — Raymond Chandler

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Anneliese Van Der Pol

I am pretty sarcastic and pretty dry. — Anneliese Van Der Pol

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Diane Stanley

And I'll wager you thought him the handsomest thing that ever you saw in your life."

"I did. And if you stuck him, and stuffed him, and hung him on the wall, I'd be very glad to admire him. But in life he's an arrogant pig, and I didn't care for him at all. 'Mind who you look at, wench.' Foo! — Diane Stanley

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Eugene McCarthy

I would not want to put him in charge of snake control in Ireland. — Eugene McCarthy

Most Sarcastic Quotes By David Letterman

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. — David Letterman

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Fred Allen

He's so small, he's a waste of skin. — Fred Allen

Most Sarcastic Quotes By David Gaider

Shale's answers were, for the most part, sarcastic. When asked what kind of rock it consisted of, Shale answered "petrified nug droppings." When asked how it was created, Shale responded with a long explanation of mother golems and father golems which Pharamond believed for five whole minutes. When asked how it could see through those points of lights in its eye sockets, Shale commented that it actually preferred tearing the eyeballs out of flesh creatures and using them instead - elven ones in particular. — David Gaider

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Kristen Bell

I'm very used to playing the tomboy or the sarcastic cynic. That's my go-to. Playing the vulnerable of a real girl that's in real womanlike situations, where it's romanticized, I'm a little nervous about it. — Kristen Bell

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Eleanor Brown

Yes, you'd make a great partner for him. What with the embezzling and the adultery and the drinking. That's what every man wants in a wife - a vaguely alcoholic, fornicating thief. — Eleanor Brown

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Jonathan Stroud

"No. I'm being ironic. Or is it sarcastic? I can never remember."
"Irony's cleverer, so you're probably being sarcastic. — Jonathan Stroud

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Lauren Oliver

Hana's voice is completely toneless. I can't tell if she's being sarcastic. But she is lucky, whether she knows it or not.
And there it is: Even though we're standing in the same patch of sun-drenched pavement, we might as well be a hundred thousand miles apart.
You came from different starts and you'll come to different ends : That's an old saying, something Carol used to repeat a lot. I never really understood how true it was until now. — Lauren Oliver

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Charles Lamb

His voice was the most obnoxious squeak I ever was tormented with. — Charles Lamb

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Laurell K. Hamilton

Are you from Hapsburg?"
He seemed to think about it for a second or two, then gave a small nod.
"I thought I recognized the accent."
The scowl was back full force. "You are an expert on accents?" He managed to sound sarcastic.
"No. My Uncle Otto was from Hapsburg."
He blinked again, and the scowl wilted around the edges. "You are not German." He sounded very sure.
"My father's family is; from Baden-Baden on the edge of the Black Forest but Uncle Otto was from Hamburg.
"You said only your uncle had the accent."
"By the time I came along, most of the family, except for my grandmother, had been in this country so long there was no accent, but Uncle Otto never lost his."
"He's dead now." Olaf made it half question, half statement.
I nodded.
"How did he die?"
"Grandma Blake says Aunt Gertrude nagged him to death."
His lips twitched. "Women are tyrants if a man allows it." His voice was a touch softer now. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Heather Heffner

Father never went into depth about what happened if I woke up, unable to remember how I'd died, but most definitely in the hands of those not selected to have s'mores and sleepovers for all of eternity. — Heather Heffner

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Mehek Bassi

The term - 'Fairy-Tales' is so ironical in itself, when I sometimes sit to write love stories with a happy ending, it usually drags me into a dilemma whether, I should even begin with a love story at first place or not? Because honestly, I haven't seen many of them reaching climax, most of them just die out in the mid. Then comes the concept of fairy tales or what we say 'fiction', where nothing is impossible!
But over time, if I've realized something, it is that there's no such term called fiction when it comes to reality! Its harsh, in-your-face-sarcastic, ironical and highly irrational. You can't expect what's coming up next, and how it's going to blow you. In the real life, the entire meaning of fiction ceases to exist. Conclusively, we writers, deal with harsh reality and write lively fictions, this job in itself is so ironical but, that's life ... — Mehek Bassi

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Sally Thorne

The thing that gets me is, when I switched to doing an MBA at night while working at Bexley, he was unimpressed. Like he'd had any kind of opinion. Like I wasn't even noticed or acknowledged enough to disappoint. But I have, Over and over, my entire life. My career is a joke to him."

I'm surprised by how angry I'm getting. I think of Anthony, his face permanently twisted into a sarcastic expression,

"He's lost something special in you, Why is he like this?"

"I don't know. If I knew, maybe I could change it. He's just been that way with me, and most people. — Sally Thorne

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Richard Stites

Stalin was the most audible and powerful spokesman in the campaign against what he contemptuously called uravnilovka (leveling). His hostility - voiced in sarcastic and dismissive terms - was so deep and so clearly enunciated that it rapidly became state policy and social doctrine. He believed in productive results, not through spontaneity or persuasion, but through force, hierarchy, reward, punishment, and above all differential wages. He applied this view to the whole of society. Stalin's anti-egalitarianism was not born of the five-year plan era. He was offended by the very notion and used contemptuous terms such as "fashionable leftists", "blockheads", "petty bourgeois nonsense" and "silly chatter," thus reducing the discussion to a sweeping dismissal of childish, unrealistic, and unserious promoters of equality. The toughness of the delivery evoked laughter of approval from his audience. — Richard Stites

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Chuck Palahniuk

For me and my entire generation, we took on this kind of sarcastic, ironic, snarkiness because it seemed the most extreme reaction to the earnestness of hippies. — Chuck Palahniuk

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Christine Warren

Watch it, buster. There's only room for one sarcastic malcontent in this relationship. — Christine Warren

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Paul Simon

Most of the time, the songs have jokes in them, little sarcastic things, or purposely kitsch or something. So that's going along with a story, like I do in life, just talking to myself and making fun of stuff and laughing at stuff that's serious. And sometimes it's a good idea to put the laughing into the songs. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's all right just to be serious. But most of the songs have some kind of joke in them. — Paul Simon

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Richard Rohr

A person who can laugh and go with life does not demand to be in control, which is why the most controlling people may be sarcastic but lack an authentic sense of humor. — Richard Rohr

Most Sarcastic Quotes By David Letterman

Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale. — David Letterman

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Steven Magee

One of my friends compared me to Bruce Banner, due to my work with radiation and human health. So I looked up Bruce Banner and this is what I found: Banner, a physicist, is sarcastic and seemingly very self-assured when he first appears in Incredible Hulk #1, but is also emotionally withdrawn in most fashions ... Banner is considered one of the greatest scientific minds on Earth, possessing "a mind so brilliant it cannot be measured on any known intelligence test." He holds expertise in biology, chemistry, engineering, physiology, and nuclear physics. — Steven Magee

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Lisa Kleypas

And he raised his glass to her. It could have been a compliment. Or the most sarcastic gesture anyone had ever made to her. — Lisa Kleypas

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Martyn V. Halm

I don't like to walk around with trophies though, so the price goes up if the client wants something to gloat over. — Martyn V. Halm

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Marie Sexton

There is a gay agenda?" he asked. "Naturally. Although marriage is the second item. Draw two." "So what's the first?" Jackson asked, grinning. He seemed to be the only person at the table besides Levi who realized Jaime was kidding. Everybody else was staring at Jaime with open-mouthed shock. "Recruitment. Especially of children. That's why I'm here, in fact. We're having a membership drive this month, and whoever recruits the most minors wins two free tickets to see Kathy Griffin live. — Marie Sexton

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Cassandra Clare

You know, when most girls say they want a big rock, they don't mean, you know, literally a big rock."
"Very amusing, my sarcastic friend. It's not a rock, precisely. All Shadowhunters have a witchlight rune-stone. — Cassandra Clare

Most Sarcastic Quotes By J.D. Robb

Brian's face broke out in a wide grin as he slapped Roarke on the back. "That's a woman, isn't it?"
"Delicate as a rose, my Eve. Fragile and quiet natured." He grinned himself when he heard her curse, loud and vicious. "A voice like a flute."
"And you're sloppy in love with her."
"Pitifully. — J.D. Robb

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Ashleigh Brilliant

We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault. — Ashleigh Brilliant

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Jackson Pearce

Packing to leave Atlanta is a lot easier than packing to come here. We bundle most everything up in our bedsheets and cram clothing into duffel bags, leaving the rugs and thrift store findings to whoever the next tenant may be. We leave the next morning, Scarlett waving a sarcastic farewell to the junkie downstairs before we take of in the hatchback, pop music blaring and me leaning toward Silas, both to avoid the door of death and to rest my head against his biceps.
Ellison hasn't changed, unsurprisingly. Buildings here are yellow and pale gold instead of harsh steel and silver. Trees dapple the sunlight across the car. The air is warmer, like loving arms that swirl around me for comfort. It's so good to be home. — Jackson Pearce

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Mohlalefi J Motsima

Wen thectaste of my own medicine is given to me results into silent treatment,its not bitter therefore i enjoy the medicine i gave you too. — Mohlalefi J Motsima

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Daphne Zuniga

My mom was sarcastic about men. She would tell me Adam was the rough draft and Eve was the final product. She was a feminist minister, an earth mom who wore a bra only on Sundays. — Daphne Zuniga

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Michael Grant

Hunter's dead," Taylor said without preamble. "It was these . . . these things. They came crawling up out of him and were eating him, oh God, I mean, it was like . . . I mean he was crying and Dekka prayed with him and he tried to fry his own brain just like he did with Harry only I guess it didn't work, I guess he couldn't do it, so Sam . . ." She swallowed. "Anyone have some water?"
"What about Sam?" Astrid demanded.
"He did it for him. Sam. I mean, he . . . Hunter was, you know . . . so Sam." She pantomimed raising her hands, like Sam, like he would do when using his power.
Astrid closed her eyes and crossed herself.
"Rest in peace," Edilio said and crossed himself as well.
"Sam burned the boy?" Howard asked. Then, bitterly sarcastic said, "Yeah, you all pray to Jesus. Because Jesus is really providing a lot of help here. Sounds to me like Sam was the one doing what had to be done. — Michael Grant

Most Sarcastic Quotes By John Fogerty

Usually I just let my songs do the talking. As a matter of fact I have long had an aversion to celebrities endorsing politics, and in some cases even other causes. I wonder about their motives. And I have to admit when celebrities get involved in political campaigns I tend to get a little bit sarcastic about it. — John Fogerty

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Aubrey Plaza

Sarcasm is weird. Even not in acting, in life I feel like 'sarcastic' is a word that people use to describe me sometimes so when I meet someone, it's almost like they feel like they have to also be sarcastic, but it can sometimes just come off as mean if it's not used in the right way. — Aubrey Plaza

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Hayley Williams

Seems like a lot of my generation as a whole is more concerned with being the cool kid; sarcastic, smug, or just all together impenetrable. So anyway, it's not always comfortable to be like, the dorky, happy girl at the party ... but that's me. — Hayley Williams

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Elvis Costello

Don't get smart or sarcastic
He snaps back just like elastic
Spare us the theatrics and the verbal gymnastics
We break wise guys just like matchsticks — Elvis Costello

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Sasha Grey

I can be a very sarcastic person, and sometimes people take every word I say literally. — Sasha Grey

Most Sarcastic Quotes By M.A. George

I can only imagine what goes on in that head of yours ... " he teased. "I assure you I haven't taken up black magic, ritualistic sacrifice, or - "
"Plushophilia?" I tagged on.
"Excuse me? ... " came his half-confused, half-intrigued reaction.
"An obsession with stuffed animals," I clarified. "I mean, you are a young one ... "
"Where did you come up with that?" He kept his hands firmly covering my eyes, but I could hear the amused smile in his voice. "Is that even a real word?"
"I'm a doctor, I know these things," I shrugged. — M.A. George

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Irving Brecher

I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork. — Irving Brecher

Most Sarcastic Quotes By James Patterson

I was speechless. Which is, as you know, very rare. — James Patterson

Most Sarcastic Quotes By M.A. George

You get a kick out of shocking the pants off me, don't you?" I shook my head with a smirk.

He just shrugged with a playful smile, his eyes momentarily flitting toward my pants before returning to meet my gaze.

"It's an expression," I rolled my eyes. "Don't tell me you aren't familiar with it, Mr. Smarty Pants."

"You have quite a repertoire of 'pants' references, don't you? — M.A. George

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Ransom Riggs

I'll never understand ninety-nine percent of humanity. - Enoch — Ransom Riggs

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Orhan Pamuk

Oscar Wilde always makes me smile - with respect and admiration. His short stories prove that it is possible to be both sarcastic, even cynical, but deeply compassionate. Just seeing the cover of one of Wilde's books in a bookshop makes me smile. — Orhan Pamuk

Most Sarcastic Quotes By L.J.Smith

Well, she thought. Well, well. Here we are, probably for the first time, just talking to each other. Not arguing, not being sarcastic, just talking. It's nice.
It was surprisingly nice. And the strange thing was, she knew Ash thought so, too. They understood each other. Over the table, Ash gave her a barely perceptible nod. — L.J.Smith

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Edith Massey

At first I thought he was walking a dog. Then I realized it was his date. — Edith Massey

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Earl Long

A four-hundred-dollar suit on him would look like socks on a rooster. — Earl Long

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

To live as one likes is plebian the noble man aspires to order and law. — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Most Sarcastic Quotes By David Levithan

He wants to know, "Why would you fuck up Tris's Barbies?" and now I'm like, Shit, is this the price of the sacrifice for Caroline passing out unexpectedly early - that Nick has taken over the melancholy stage that usually follows Caroline's inquisitive one? "I have three sisters and I know that's some serious business, messing with another girl's Barbies." Okay, maybe he's not being melancholy because his sarcastic smile lets me know he's back to being standard-issue band-boy irony creature. Damn him that it somewhat makes me wanna jump his bones. — David Levithan

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Vann Chow

While I still did not know what self- actualization that sat on the top level of the pyramid meant, I could believe
that if I knew I would be able to say something positive about it as well in
my life. — Vann Chow

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Miles Kington

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy. — Miles Kington

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Oliver Goldsmith

I always get the better when I argue alone. — Oliver Goldsmith

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Martial

You are so pure in mind and heart,
In aspect, too, so mild,
I wonder that you ever could
Implant your wife with child. — Martial

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Josh Billings

Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair. — Josh Billings

Most Sarcastic Quotes By William Shakespeare

She's good, being gone. — William Shakespeare

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Walter Isaacson

His son Peter Bucky happily spent time driving Einstein around, and he later wrote down some of his recollections in extensive notebooks. They provide a delightful picture of the mildly eccentric but deeply un-affected Einstein in his later years. Peter tells, for example, of driving in his convertible with Einstein when it suddenly started to rain. Einstein pulled off his hat and put it under his coat. When Peter looked quizzical, Einstein explained: "You see, my hair has withstood water many times before, but I don't know how many times my hat can. — Walter Isaacson

Most Sarcastic Quotes By George Carlin

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. — George Carlin

Most Sarcastic Quotes By John Quincy Adams

His face is livid, gaunt his whole body, his breath is green with gall; his tongue drips poison. — John Quincy Adams

Most Sarcastic Quotes By Shannon L. Alder

I don't even pretend to believe I know everything; I just believe in arguments God told me I had a pretty good chance of winning, while I was traveling through hell. — Shannon L. Alder