Morganville Quotes & Sayings

You've been the least useless apprentice I've ever had. — Rachel Caine

But if these past years in Morganville have taught me anything, it's that sometimes you have to just ... jump. It's not safe. It's never safe. But sometimes you have to live dangerously. — Rachel Caine

Her eyes felt swollen, and she knew she looked a mess, but sometimes ... sometimes the emotions were just too big to hold. — Rachel Caine

Silver nitrate and water in a super soaker," he told her. "My own invention. Ought to be good at twenty feet, kind of like wasp spray."
Oh. "You get me the nicest things."
"Anybody can get jewelry. Posers — Rachel Caine

When things seem calmest, that is the time you should fear the most, it's when you have the most to lose. — Rachel Caine

Claire stretched out against the wall and kissed it. "Glad to see you, too," she whispered, and pressed her cheek against the smooth surface. It almost felt like it hugged her back.
"Dude, it's a house," Shane said from behind her. "Hug somebody who cares. — Rachel Caine

It's dreadfully unfair to say things like that when this is likely the last time we will speak and we both know you don't mean what you say. It's pure selfishness that you want to keep me here. — Rachel Caine

Any requests on the kind of car?"
"Something with armor?" she said. "Oooh, and headrest DVD. Bonus for surround sound."
"Rocket launchers," Michael said.
"One hot yellow Hummer with optional mass destruction package, coming up. — Rachel Caine

You have not been sticking your dirty fingers in my sauce,' Eve said, and pointed her wooden spoon
at him.
He quickly took the finger out of his mouth. 'First off, they're not dirty. I licked them first. — Rachel Caine

This was ... This was sickeningly different. It was blind, unreasoning hate that just wanted blood and she didn't understand why. It left her feeling horrified and shaky. — Rachel Caine

There are always a few, Claire, who like being told what to do instead of being required to think. And those are the ones you should fear. That goes equally for humans, I'm afraid. Critical thinking has become a sadly rare skill these days. — Rachel Caine

Where's your sense of adventure?"
"Off on a beach somewhere with your sanity? — Rachel Caine

That's not trouble; that's fail. Tell me that isn't all the whites. Like, Michael's and Shane's, too."
"All the whites," Claire said, and held up the guilty red sock. "Yours?"
"Oh, damn." Eve snatched it out of Claire's fingers and shook the sock like a floppy rattle. "Bad sock! Bad! You are never going anywhere fun ever again! — Rachel Caine

Any fool can kill. It takes genius to create. — Rachel Caine

He was a nice guy, middle-aged, a little tired, like most doctors usually seemed to be, but he just nodded and said,
"Let me take a look at him. Shane?"
"I'm not dropping my pants," Shane said. "I just thought I'd say that up front. — Rachel Caine

I know, not what you were expecting am I? Everybody says that. Including my own family. — Rachel Caine

Shane was sitting on the curb next to the old, cracked gas pumps, eating a candy bar. Claire plopped down next to him. "Half?" she asked.
"And now I know you're my girlfriend, since you're not afraid to demand community property," he said, and pulled off the uneaten half to hand it over. — Rachel Caine

The Morganville in her wanted to tell people to go home and be safe, but she knew that was verging on crazy. The world these laughing people lived in was a very different place. She was in a very different place. — Rachel Caine

Wake me for the massacre, okay? Don't want to miss it. — Rachel Caine

Here, you are exceptional ... There, who knows? They might not value you as much as we do. — Rachel Caine

My vampire boss, who would like to maybe be my boyfriend, just dropped in to tell me he was running away because Morganville's too dangerous. — Rachel Caine

Yeah. She'd manipulated the second most powerful vampire in town into taking her side against a psycho bitch-queen sorority girl. She'd talked rationally about putting people's brains into computers. This was a normal day. No wonder she was screwed up. — Rachel Caine

Bite me, Goth princess," Shane called from the back. "Not literally or anything."
"Maybe you should say that to Michael."
"Not funny, Eve," Michael said.
Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuring off about an inch. "Little bit," she said. — Rachel Caine

I'm faster than the rest of you, if .. Because I'm a vampire," Michael said, and it was some kind of breakthrough for him to say that. "If you get in trouble, I'll be there."
"Nice," Shane said. "I'm warming up to this bloodsucking thing, Mikey."
"No, you're not."
"Okay, no, I'm not, but right now let's pretend I am. — Rachel Caine

Morely: You're trying to make me [i]Amelie[/i]
Oliver: Goodness, no. You'd look terrible in a skirt — Rachel Caine

He lives alone and makes his bed? Who does that? — Rachel Caine

That's incredible ... I don't know
okay, well, you know, nobody's probably voting for me. I mean, I'm not Richard. I haven't gone out of my way to be responsible or anything. — Rachel Caine

Myrnin turned away to pick up his Ben Franklin spectacles, balanced them on his nose, and looked over them to say,
Don't do drugs. I feel I ought to say that. — Rachel Caine

You look like a Goth factory exploded all over you!" he called as she ran down the hall.
"Love you, too, jackass! — Rachel Caine

Shane? Thank God, somebody sane. Well, sane-ish. — Rachel Caine

Don't bait the cougars. — Rachel Caine

Hannah: What's your plan?
Claire: Go get him
Hannah: Honey, that is not a plan. That's what we in the military call an objective. — Rachel Caine

Really?" Claire said, and couldn't help but smile. "That's what creeps you out. Waxing. You can take on vampires and draug and killers, but you're afraid of a little chest-hair pulling? — Rachel Caine

Whatever, crazy chick who maybe lives here and maybe also breaks into Michael's house when they're all gone. I'm out. Have a nice delusion. -Shayne — Rachel Caine

Bathroom, maybe? Which is where I need to go."
"Ooh, me, too," Eve said.
The boys rolled their eyes, like they'd planned it.
"What? It's what girls do. Get over it. — Rachel Caine

Now we're in the middle of a three-sided vampire war. Which would be an awesome video game, but I'm really not interested in playing for real. I like my reset buttons. — Rachel Caine

Oliver: You turned me down. So why, I wonder, did you decide Amelie would be a better choice?
Claire: She smells better. And she made me cookies. — Rachel Caine

Morley put his hand over his heart and bowed from the waist, a gesture that somehow reminded Claire of
Myrnin. It reminded her she missed him, too, which was just wrong. She should not be missing Morganville,
or anyone in it. Especially not the crazy boss vampire who'd put fang marks in her neck that would never,
ever go away. She was doomed to high-necked shirts because of him.
But she did miss him. — Rachel Caine

Amelie seemed to focus on her again. For a few seconds she regarded her, frowning, and then smiled just a little. "So I recall," she said. "Not all wars are waged with bullets and swords, indeed. Some are wars of wills and ideas. It's good we both remember that." The smile faded. "But not all ideas win the war, and not all wills are strong enough. Darkness can descend so easily. — Rachel Caine

Best to flee now, before the pitchforks and torches and scientists come calling. — Rachel Caine

Silence, and then Eve said, Okay, that was extra creepy, with whipped creepy topping. And this is me, changing my mind. — Rachel Caine

You're just Little Miss Optimist, aren't you? Do you come with accessories, like a glass half full and lemons to make into lemonade, too? — Rachel Caine

I hate traveling with amateurs. — Rachel Caine

Happy birthday," she said. "And next time? Eat the stupid cupcake. — Rachel Caine

He started to touch the mechanism under the keyboard,
then pulled his hand back with a snap.
"Ah," he said. "Must deactivate the security ... Turn around, please."
"What?"
"Turn around, Claire. It's a secure password!"
"You have GOT to be kidding."
"Why ever would I joke about that? Please turn. — Rachel Caine

Bad men skulking in the darkness have always been there, and always will. — Rachel Caine

I'm not a wilting flower, unless that gets me extraspecial treats. — Rachel Caine

Please don't go away. You--you matter. To me. — Rachel Caine

It's been happening since I was in kindergarten. Not them all the time, but other kids, you know. Every day. It never stops, and it never goes away, thanks to the Internet
it just keeps happening every minute, every day. And I just want it to stop. I think about how to do it, you know. How to kill them. All kinds of elaborate things, like trapping them in pits and burying them alive, or covering them with concrete. — Rachel Caine

If he had any kind of a clue, he wouldn't be caught dead with that stuff. See what I did there? Caught dead? I crack myself up. Eve sipped more coffee she probably, at this point, didn't need. — Rachel Caine

Eve hugged her, hard. "It's beautiful," she said. "What happened to the old frosting?"
Shane, sitting at the table, raised his hand. "Took one for the team."
"Jesus, you ate it? All of it?"
"Nah." He held up the bowl that was sitting in front of him. There was still about half a cup left. "Couldn't finish it all."
Eve blinked and looked at Claire, who shrugged and said, "I always thought he was sweet. — Rachel Caine

Look, I hate good-byes, too. But sometimes, we need them just to survive. — Rachel Caine

His smile was bright and sweet and hot enough to melt solid steel. "Is this the part where I kiss you?"
"If you like."
"Oh," he said, "I like. — Rachel Caine

Here," Myrnin said, his voice still gentle and low. "Amelie said you had to work. No one said you had to work alone." He picked up the next part and slotted it in, took the screwdriver from Claire's numbed fingers, and fastened it with a couple of deft, fast movements. "I'll be your hands."
She wanted to cry, because it was so sweet, but it wouldn't do any good. — Rachel Caine

Expendable was not the word I was looking to hear to boost my morale, but whatever. — Rachel Caine

Male eighteen whats your point?" - Shane — Rachel Cane

Unfortunately, mortal life is very fragile, and very short. Yours could be shorter than usual. — Rachel Caine

Anybody else think that was weird?' Shane asked as they got into the car. Eve sent him an exasperated glance; the three of them were, of course, in the backseat. Amelie had the front, with Michael.
'Ya think? In general, or in particular?'
'Weird that we got through the entire thing, and I didn't have to hit anybody.'
There was a moment of silence. Michael said, as he started the car, 'You're right, Shane. That is strange. — Rachel Caine

I almost get killed at most parties. Hence, you can tell that's how much I love them. — Rachel Caine

If she were any friendlier, she'd be giving you a lapdance right now. — Rachel Caine

And without forgiveness, there is never any peace. — Rachel Caine

Go to hell and take that with you! She shouted it right in Amelie's face. Eve
was an exotic blaze of color against Amelie's white fury.
And then she slapped the Founder in the face. — Rachel Caine

Well," Naomi said cheerfully, "what's the worst that can happen?" They were silent, considering that, because there were just so many possibilities. But in the end, it was a better idea than Facebook. — Rachel Caine

The service passed in a blur of words she wasn't sure she got right, and then the cool touch of the ring sliding onto her fingers, and then the warm pressure of Shane's lips on hers. — Rachel Caine

Myrnin, who hadn't said much, suddenly reached out and wrapped his arms around her.
She stiffened, shocked, and for a panicked second wondered whether he'd suddenly decided to snack on her neck ... but it was just a hug.
His body felt cold against hers, and way too close, but then he let go and stepped back. "You've done very well. I'm extremely proud of you," he said. There was a touch of color high in his pale cheeks. "Do go home now. And shower. You reek like the dead."
Which, coming from a vampire, was pretty rich. — Rachel Caine

She can go with us to the lab and keep Myrnin pinned down while we pull the plug, if he's not ... you know, better."
"Define BETTER with that guy."
"Not all fangs and raaaaar. — Rachel Caine

Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anymore. Eve — Rachel Caine

Let's say that it belong to me as much as it belongs to anyone alive today. If I am, strictly speaking, living. The old word was undead, you know, but aren't all living things undead. I dislike imprecision. — Rachel Caine

You can't go around ... licking things that come out of a water treatment plant. That's just ... unsanitary. — Rachel Caine

Am I not ninja enough? Are you saying that I lack ninja? — Rachel Caine

Just wanted to remind you that we're out of milk again. And hot sauce."
"Why are those two always out at the same time? Because those do not go together."
"I suspect Shane. He'd put hot sauce in anything," Michael said. — Rachel Caine

In real life, you don't get a reset, and you don't get extra lives, and I got the crap pounded out of me. — Rachel Caine

I guess in my beer-soaked mind it would all just magically work out, and she'd be so happy to see me she'd forget about everything else. Because everybody loves having the drunken self-pitying boyfriend banging on their door at, Jesus, four thirty in the morning. — Rachel Caine

Well, friend, I don't know about your tastes, but I tend to like it very bloody," Myrnin said. He shifted position, dragging Claire along like a rag doll without any effort at all. "Have we been introduced?"
"Probably not. Why, are you asking me out, sweetheart?"
"You're not my type, darling. Is this one yours?"
"No," Frank said, and looked at Shane, just in a quick flicker. "Let's say she's a friend of the family. — Rachel Caine

The back door popped open, and Claire, fairy wings all a-flutter, pulled Miranda inside. It was like a military operation, only with one hundred percent less camouflage. — Rachel Caine

Amelie said, "I won't be your servant in Morganville. Nor should you be mine. Equals." She offered her hand to him, and he looked down at it, clearly taken aback. But he took it. "Now defend what is ours, my partner."
He grinned ... grinned! ... and whirled to meet Myrnin in midleap as Myrnin attacked. — Rachel Caine

Shane looked ... pale. Pale and shaken and - how predictable was this? - pissed. — Rachel Caine

Afternoons are hard. Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anymore. — Rachel Caine

Not nearly enough. Not recently, anyway." And she was sad about that.
"I know," he said, and kissed the back of her hand. "We'll fix it. Get some sleep."
"Night," she said, and watched him walk toward the door. "Hey. How'd you get in?"
He wiggled his fingers at her in a spooky oogie-boogie pantomime. "I'm a vampire. I have secret powers ," he said with a full-on fake Transylvanian accent, which he dropped to say, "Actually, your mom let me in."
"Seriously? My mom? Let you in my room? In the middle of the night?"
He shrugged. "Moms like me."
He gave her a full-on Hollywood grin, and slipped out the door. — Rachel Caine

Guys aren't deep enough to need CliffsNotes. — Rachel Caine

They did seem pretty serious about their mayhem. — Rachel Caine

What's your name?' she asked, and surprised herself. But for some reason, she wanted to know.
Dean's brother - he hadn't been just some nameless Bad Guy Number Four. This vampire wasn't, either. He had a name, a history, maybe even people who cared what happened to him.
'My name is none of your business,' he said, and continued to stare out the window, even though there was nothing but blurry brick out there.
'Can I call you None for short? — Rachel Caine

You are just landmark stupid, aren't you? Has Guinness called yet about that world record? — Rachel Caine

Me neither," Shane put in. "Homie don't play that."
"I wonder, sometimes, if your generation speaks English at all," Amelie said. — Rachel Caine

Faster!" Shane yelled. Eve hit the gas hard, and whipped around a slower-moving van. The firing ceased, at least for now. "You see why I didn't want you to stop?"
"Okay, your father is officially off my Christmas list!" Eve yelled. "Oh my God, look at my car! — Rachel Caine

Don't worry ... Someone will pay for your suffering. Heavily. With screaming. — Rachel Caine

Shane, honey, in Morganville, friends are the only things that keep you alive. — Rachel Caine

People bond themselves into families and groups for protection, and strangers ... strangers are always at risk. — Rachel Caine

Hold on, Claire Bear! Next stop, Crazytown! — Rachel Caine

I love it when you talk dirty physics. — Rachel Caine

That's very rude," Myrnin said. "I haven't brought my fangs our for some time. Not in mixed company, anyway. — Rachel Caine

Oh, come on. A vamp marrying a human gets the fanged ones all upset, and Eve made herself look like the ultimate fang-anger to all the humans by putting a ring on one, so what did you expect exactly? Flowers and parades? This is Texas. We're still figuring out how to spell tolerance. — Rachel Caine

Sure," she said, and hugged the laptop bag closer. "What could go wrong?"
Michael's eyes flashed to meet hers in the rearview mirror.
Besides everything, I mean," she said. — Rachel Caine

You humans, always eating. I'll make you soup. You can eat it while you keep working." Myrnin set aside his book and walked into the back of the lab.
"Don't use the same beaker you used for poisons!" Claire yelled after him. He waved a pale hand. "I mean it! — Rachel Caine

I so want his wardrobe,' Eve sighed. 'Is that shallow, or just strange?'
'Don't sell yourself short. It's both.' Shane said. — Rachel Caine

You stole my paranoia," she said. "I was going to say, 'Don't go.' But you're going to no matter what I say, aren't you? — Rachel Caine

Shane said, "Don't worry. I'll protect you."
Claire hit him in the shoulder. "I don't need you to protect me."
"Then why am I going first?"
"So you can take the first punch while I throw the second?"
"So I'm bait? Ouch. You've been in Morganville way too long, girl. — Rachel Caine

Shane's dad said, "I should have left you in the damn cage to fry, you ungrateful little bastard. You're no son of mine."
"Hallelujah," Shane said softly. Free at last. — Rachel Caine

Mirnin: Where's Shreve? — Rachel Caine

I know you want me to feel some sympathy for them, but that's not who I am. I care only about those I know, and even then, not all that deeply. Strangers get nothing from me. — Rachel Caine