Momma Said Quotes & Sayings

Momma intended to teach Bailey and me to use the paths of life that she and her generation and all the Negroes gone before had found, and found to be safe ones. She didn't cotton to the idea that whitefolks could be talked to at all without risking one's life. And certainly they couldn't be spoken to insolently. In fact, even in their absence they could not be spoken of too harshly unless we used the sobriquet "They." If she had been asked and had chosen to answer the question of whether she was cowardly or not, she would have said that she was a realist. — Maya Angelou

What's the most important thing in life?" Coleen asked.
"Pie," Charlie said with a grunt. "Pass it, Momma."
Coleen was undeterred and stares at Lena, awaiting an answer.
"Love? Respect?"
Coleen stabbed the table with her finger. "Family. Most of the time, you don't love or respect them, but they're important. — Robin Alexander

Momma always said the common misconception in relationships was that people got so caught up in finding someone who understood them when, in reality, all they needed was someone who wanted to understand them. With the right person, that would be more than enough. — Anne Jolin

*** Yo momma so stupid that when I saw her yelling into an envelope and asked her what she was doing, she said, "Leaving a voice mail. — Various

My momma always said bossy was good for a deputy and bad for everything else. — James Buchanan

Forget it once. *** Knock, knock! Who's there? Accordion! Accordion who? Accordion to the TV, it's going to rain tomorrow. *** Yo momma so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building but got lost on the way down. *** Teacher: Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river? Student: Because it has four eyes and can't see! *** Teacher: "Why are you on the floor?" Johnny: "Because you said to do this math problem without tables!" *** How do you make an elephant float? Take one elephant, two tons of ice cream, and one ton of soda. Blend. *** In — Various

He liked the phrase "mother's tit." It said so much, so simply. Momma's tit had a good deal more power to move these men than her apple pie. — Clive Barker

Honey," she said, smiling so widely that I thought her face might split into two. "Are you about to make your momma proud? — J. Lynn

Santa Claus was white and everything bad was black. The little ugly duckling was the black duck, and the black cat was the bad luck. And if I threaten you, I'm going to blackmail you.I said, 'Momma, why don't they call it 'whitemail'? They lie too.' — Muhammad Ali

Momma always said that a true lady never lets someone know when he's riled her; otherwise, she's giving away her power and her crown. My — Carolyn Brown

I don't know how you've managed a tan," Daydra said, "but you'll have to keep it up, and talk like a pirate. If you want to work for Momma K, you're going to be the Sethi pirate girl. You have a husband or a lover?" Kaldrosa hesitated.
"Husband," she admitted. "The last beating nearly killed him."
"If you do this, you'll never get him back. A man can forgive a woman who leaves whoring for him, but he'll never forgive one who goes whoring for him."
"It's worth it," Kaldrosa said. "To save his life, it's worth it. — Brent Weeks

She's just an Italian momma. She worries a
lot." "Dude, whenever she knew you had a date, she'd call
during the day while you were at work, leaving you those disturbing messages - reading off detailed descriptions of what Jeffrey Dahmer did to his victims."
"She actually still does that." Gabe cringed, looking over at me. "She only wants me to be safe. The whole gay thing wasn't easy for her."
"Boo hoo," I said, "You're queer, not cancerous. She's had plenty of time to get the hell over it. — Ethan Day

GIRL'S STORY #7: THE HARD-TO-PLEASE MOMMA

Momma, I got a B, the daughter said.
Who got an A? Momma answered.
Momma, I showed in the track meet.
Who placed? Momma answered.
Momma, I placed in the track meet.
Who won? Momma answered.
The daughter was chosen Homecoming Queen, the daughter ran all the way home, Momma, Momma, the most wonderful thing happened, I was chosen attendant to the Homecoming Queen.
Who's Queen? Momma answered.
I am, said the daughter. — Gabrielle Burton

I hope they're still making women like my momma. She always told me to do the right thing. She always told me to have pride in myself; she said a good name is better than money. — Joe Louis

My momma always said, 'You and Elvis are pretty good, but y'all ain't no Chuck Berry. — Jerry Lee Lewis

Hey," the other said, coming to life. "You're supposed to be in jail."
Al grinned at him, his white-gloved grip tightening on the wooden handle, which was intricately carved in the shape of a naked, writhing woman. Nice. "And your momma wanted you to have a brain," he said, yanking the door open and slamming it into the guy's face. — Kim Harrison

They rung my bell to ask me.
Could I recommend a maid.
I said, yes, your momma. — Langston Hughes

Momma said that ghosts couldn't move over water. That's why Africans got trapped in the Americas.. They kept moving us over the water, stealing us away from our ghosts and ancestors, who cried salty rivers into the sand. That's where Momma was now, wailing at the water's edge, while her girls were pulled out of sight under white sails that cracked in the wind. — Laurie Halse Anderson

Yo momma so ugly that when she was born the doctor looked at her butt, then at her face, and said, "Twins! — Various

You have to tell him 'go toodles, Bits, go toodles for momma,'" I said, pitching my voice high in imitation, "or else he won't go." Blane looked at me. "I'm not doing that," he said flatly. "But then he'll go on the bed," I protested. "How about I just point my gun at him," he deadpanned. — Tiffany Snow

They'll be days like this" my momma said.
When you open your hands to catch, and wind up with only blisters and bruises.
When you try to step out of the phone booth and try to fly , and the very people you want to save, are the ones standing on your cape.
When your boots will fill with rain, and you'll be up to your knees with disappointment
And those are the very days you have all the more reason to say "Thank you". — Sarah Kay

Said. Karen inhaled deeply and blew until there was no more air in her lungs and smoke filled the room but there wasn't a single candle still burning. "Never underestimate the power of a strong woman," she said breathlessly. "Amen," Hannah murmured. Kim motioned toward the bar. "Momma's choice tonight. Mexican buffet, which comes before cake." "Not for me. I'm having a slice of that cake right now. It's my birthday and I want dessert first. Momma always let me do that on my birthday when I was a little girl," Karen said. "Yes, I did, and if you want your cake first tonight, then have at it," Hannah agreed. "Well, I'm getting into those tacos," Edith said. "Y'all have to try my watermelon salsa. I hadn't made it in years, but it turned out pretty good considering that the watermelon wasn't as good as I like it to be." "What's in it?" Sue asked. — Carolyn Brown

He carries what he feels for people deep inside. Even as a kid he was that way," Aunt Margaret said. "Your momma knows that." But I had wondered then as I did now what good love was that couldn't be expressed. — Ron Rash

We came here because no place would take us after our momma died. They all said go away, come back when you're older, when you know better, when you've learned. Only no one wants to teach how to be older or to know better - not even Devin. They just teach us how to be broken. — Seanan McGuire

Don't act like some quiet mouse, Viviana. Don't stand at my side with your head tucked down in those pretty dresses I buy you. Don't be the weak little mafia princess your momma said you'd have to be. That's not what I want - not what I need. Stand straight, meet their stare, and be my fucking queen. — Bethany-Kris

Living's hard," Doris said. "I got three kids with different daddies. I'm fat, can't stop smoking, and I've worked in this cave since God was in diapers. My momma scrubbed toilets most her life, worked sunup to sundown until she got the cancer. When I tried to sell the TV and get her some chemo, she said, 'Don't you dare, Doris. Don't you dare drag this thing out. — Michael B. Jones

Miss America was always white. All the beautiful brown women in America, beautiful sun tans, beautiful shapes, all types of complexions, but she always was white.And Miss World was always white, and Miss Universe was always white.And the angel fruit cake was the white cake and the devil food cake was the chocolate cake.I said, 'Momma, why is everything white?' I always wondered. And the President lived in the White House. — Muhammad Ali

Do you think I'm pretty?"
Smitty glanced away from the computer screen he'd been staring at for the last three hours, looked at his sister, and shook his head. "No."
"What do ya mean no?"
"You asked. Sorry if you didn't like the answer. I always thought you were funny lookin'. Asked momma, 'What is that thing laying in your bed?' And she said, 'I found it hiding under a car, you be nice to it now. — Shelly Laurenston

I always asked my mother, I said, 'Momma, how come is everything white?' I said, 'Why is Jesus white with blond hair and blue eyes? Why is the Lord's supper all white men? Angels are white, the Pope, Mary, and even the angels.' I said, 'Mother, when we die, do we go to Heaven?' She said, 'Naturally we go to Heaven.' I said, 'Well, what happened to all the black angels?' — Muhammad Ali

His momma said, Donovan why are you, on the corner of linden and guy R. Brewer? — Pharoahe Monch

[O]ut of the blue Sophie asked, "Aunt Faith, what's a vibrator?"

Faith was in mid-swallow and choked on her coffee.
...
"Baby, where'd you hear that?"
...
"My momma was on the phone with her friend Ms. Kim last night, and she said that Lottie Bishop kicked her in the crouch so many times that she didn't know if she'd ever be able to take her vibrator for a test spin again. — Robin Alexander

Momma's going to commit a murder today," she said conversationally, tucking her bundled clothing up under her arm as she started for the door. "That's right. I'm going to find whoever woke me up, and I'm going to rip out their heart and show it to them before they have a chance to finish dropping dead. Won't that be nice, sweetie? Won't that be nice and bloody? — Seanan McGuire

Can't introduce ya,' the feline admitted.
'Why not?'
'Don't know his name.'
'Snuggling up to a man y'all don't know. My momma was right. Yankees are whores.'
'Well, I know him,' MacDermot volumteered.
The She-wolf stared at her. 'So?'
'You said y'all.'
'I didn't say 'all y'all.' So I wasn't talking to you.'
'I don't understand your country-speak,' McDermot complained, dropping into the desk chair across from Crush. — Shelly Laurenston

Listen up, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once," Ty muttered as they walked to their gate. "I don't talk when I fly. I sleep. And I don't listen when I eat, understand? I don't wanna be buddies. I don't wanna chat," he said with a sarcastic lilt to the word. "I don't wanna know about your childhood or how your momma whipped you with a rubber glove or how much therapy you had to go through 'cause you flunked out of preschool. I don't wanna hear about how you want to be Director someday or how many collars you got chasin' those Internet freaks or how proud you are of your bowel movements. I don't wanna go shopping at Barney's with you, and I'm not gonna help you pick out your ties to match your socks and, I swear to God, if you get me shot, I'll kill you. — Abigail Roux

Miss Trudie said, "Well, like my momma used to say, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. This takes the cake. — Dorothea Benton Frank

When I want to be lectured on strategy, I'll consult someone who's actually won battles,' Amelie said. 'Not one who ran away from them.'
'Snap,' Eve said.
'You know what they're talking about?' Shane asked.
'Don't need to know to get that one. She smacked him so hard his momma felt it. — Rachel Caine

Momma always said when Randy got an idea in his head it was more likely to come attached to a foot in his ass than a check in the bank. — Joe Schwartz

Yo momma so poor that when I rang her doorbell, she said "ding-dong. — Various

You do it and see how hard that thing is to control. I swear it has a mind of its own." Hadyn
"No sugar, that's your front tail." Edena
"Edena! I can't believe you said that to your brother! Where did you hear that?" Seraphina
"Good grief, Matera! I am almost 30 years old. I am the last of my friends who hasn't had a lover yet. And if that's what concerns you, then you need to talk to your son about where he's been planting that shorter front tail lately." Edena — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Whenever I'd get howlin' over something, he'd grab my ass up from wherever I was and head straight for the john. Momma said my head would get banged up along the way, but she said it
was probably bein' dunked under water that made me stupid. — Cole Alpaugh

I couldn't have been more than six, but I was calling her an ignorant little bitch. Her momma stood on the porch step shaking her mop at me and saying there were snakes and lizards coming out of my mouth, to which I said i didn't give a shit. — Mary Karr

Cyrus's momma thinks I'm a gift from God. I didn't have the heart to tell her if I was then God was guilty of handing out gag gifts, Joyce said. — Carolyn Brown

I need one, Momma, how come I don't have a baby sister?"

Rachel smiled. "You're so perfect. There was no need to ask for another."

Sophie cocked her head to the side like a puppy. "Ask who?"

"The Stork," Faith supplied.

Sophie looked thoroughly confused then. "I thought sex caused babies."

Rachel patted Faith on the back when she began to cough.

Kaycee shook her head. "Rhonda at school told me that special music causes babies. her sister told her that when her mom and dad play music in their bedroom, babies were being made. Momma, you play music in your room, but we don't have a baby."

"I don't have that particular CD, sweetie."

"My friend told me that it takes a penny and a Virginia to make a baby," Sophie said and sent Faith into another coughing fit. — Robin Alexander