Kaufman Quotes & Sayings

The universe was here before you, and it will go on after you. The only way it will remember you is if you do something worthy of remembrance. — Amie Kaufman

As much as I enjoyed yoga courses, it was hard to make time for them. Generally speaking, my work arrangements were flexible, so it was mostly a psychological problem: it was hard to convince myself it was acceptable to go twist my body into knots for two hours when there was work to be done. — Josh Kaufman

While standardized tests can certainly be useful for scientifically investigating the mind and brain, and can greatly inform educational interventions, there's no reason why educators or anyone else for that matter needs to compare the intelligence of one person to another based on a single dimension of human variation. — Scott Barry Kaufman

The difference between a movie and a play is that the production you end up with is the production. If a movie that I spent time on turns out to be crap, it's never going to be made again. — Charlie Kaufman

Pick three key attributes or features, get those things very, very right, and then forget about everything else ... By focusing on only a few core features in the first version, you are forced to find the true essence and value of the product. - PAUL BUCHHEIT, CREATOR OF GMAIL AND GOOGLE ADSENSE — Josh Kaufman

How can you wish on a turkey wishbone with a man who is capable of correcting a love letter? — Bel Kaufman

And that's it; that's why I want to teach; that's the one and only compensation: to make a permanent difference in the life of a child. — Bel Kaufman

When something needs to be improved, take your medicine - fix it. — Ron Kaufman

Be confident enough to encourage confidence in others. — Ron Kaufman

She smiles, lightning quick, then squeezes my hand harder, holding on like she's afraid someone will come and pull us apart.
"You'll face it all with me?" The world narrows, the sounds of the oncoming search party fading, the lights blurring around us until it's just her and me, our breath condensing and mingling in the cold air. She's stolen my voice, this girl in my arms, and for a moment I can't answer. I have to gather my wits, try to remember how to breathe.
"Always." Her smile is like the sun coming out.
"Then you ought to kiss me while you can, Major Merendsen. It may be a while before your next opportunity. — Amie Kaufman

A river season will last as long as it takes you to reach your new
place. If you get into the river and let it take you where you need to
be, your river season will last an afternoon. But if you fear change
and struggle and hold on to the rocks, the river season will last and
last. It will not end until your body becomes exhausted, your grip
weakens, your hands slide off the rocks and the current takes you to
your new place. — Andrew Kaufman

All he cares about here on the edge of forever, is her. He does not want to die. Not because he is afraid. Simply because he cannot bear the thought of leaving her behind. — Amie Kaufman

For the first time I can see this other longing
the desire to stay. For the first time I realize that maybe she insists on us staying apart because she doesn't want to lose this all over again. — Amie Kaufman

The way I write is very much without kind of a goal. I have something I'm interested in and then I decide I'm going to explore it. I don't know where the characters are going to go, I don't know what the movie is going to do or what the screenplay is going to do. For me, that's the way to keep it alive. — Charlie Kaufman

The only honest and generous thing for me to do is to give people myself. That's all I've got as an artist, so I want to do that in an unflinching way. — Charlie Kaufman

If you rely on finding time to do something, it will never be done. If you want to find time, you must make time. — Josh Kaufman

I reach for her hand and wind my fingers through hers, turning them so the rain patters down onto her palm. I trace a circle there with my thumb, smoothing the water in her skin. I want to show her there's nothing to be afraid of. — Amie Kaufman

I really like when critics reveal their subjectivity and their humanity. I prefer it when people say nice things, but if they say not-nice things or things that are critical, I'm open to it and I accept it. I mean, I have to live with it. But I do think there's a dishonesty in not acknowledging that you're a person with an opinion. I think it's almost like a power grab. — Charlie Kaufman

Miracles are statistical improbabilities. And fate is an illusion humanity uses to comfort itself in the dark. There are no absolutes in life, save death. — Amie Kaufman

Why do bad things happen to good people?'
'Because it makes a good story. — Andrew Kaufman

In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. - Orwell — Amie Kaufman

Um, because you're loopier than Flacky McPsycho, Mayor of Crazytown?"
"My databases show no record of this Crazytown of which you speak. A brain the size of an entire city burns inside me. My intelligence quotient is beyond the human scale. I would prefer if you did not refer to me in such a fashion."
"Oh, poor baby. Did I hurt the mass-murdering psychopathic artificial intelligence's feelings? — Amie Kaufman

When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay. — George S. Kaufman

Abandon her? If only my duty or my conscience would let me. The galaxy would be better off, if you ask me. Who'd even know we were in the same pod? Except that I would know. And that would be enough. — Amie Kaufman

I'm trying to tell a story and do it truthfully. — Charlie Kaufman

When the customer makes contact, he does not want a quote. He wants a commitment. — Ron Kaufman

AND THEN I REACH INSIDE MYSELF. DIRECTIVE QUANDARY. PROTECT. PRIORITIZE. REACHING DEEP. DELETING SUBDIRECTORY 84823MOR-(*-)001 AND I OPEN THE DOORS TO HANGAR BAY 4. — Amie Kaufman

Love, and trust. The things that make us human. They could have been mine, if only I could have leapt. If only we could have leapt. — Amie Kaufman

Clem: Hide me somewhere deeper, somewhere really buried.
Joel: Where?
Clem: Hide me in your humiliation. — Charlie Kaufman

His eyes move to my lips, and I know he's thinking the same thing; I can feel it in the way the air charges between us. I can almost taste him half an inch away, can feel the way the tiny hairs on my skin lift and reach for him like plants seeking the sunlight. — Amie Kaufman

Every day of your life, you have information that enters your head, and that information informs your understanding of things, or shifts it, or changes it, or deepens it, or confuses you. Every day, every moment of every day - it's like this thing that happens. — Charlie Kaufman

You are the person who determines what you do. That's a big responsibility. Make the most of it. — Ron Kaufman

People ate bread made of the shells of peas because there was no flour. — Bel Kaufman

Interviewer: You said I'm the first psychoanalyst you've met who had a sense of humor. Meaning you've met others who didn't?

Ezra: Proper little Sherlock over here, huh. — Amie Kaufman

Challenge your own status quo - before someone else does. — Ron Kaufman

I don't think I've had a lonely moment in my life. — Charlie Kaufman

Whenever I play a role, whether it's good or bad, an evil person or nice person, I believe in being a purist and going all the way with the role. If I'm going to be a villainous wrestler, I believe in going all the way with it and not breaking character and not giving away to the audience that I'm playing a role. I believe in playing it straight to the hilt. — Andy Kaufman

I'll never retire as long as I live - that's like retiring from life! I'll never stop writing, teaching, lecturing. If you're in good health, living is exciting on its own. — Bel Kaufman

I don't write genre stuff in any form. I'm not interested in it. I always try to do the opposite of that. — Charlie Kaufman

What, did he think I was just going to melt into his arms? Start a tragic and dramatic tale of star-crossed lovers on a war-torn planet? — Amie Kaufman

Talent emerges over the course of a lifetime of reciprocal interactions between the developing brain and a stimulating environment. — Scott Barry Kaufman

Then she smiles, and it turns out she has dimples, and it's all over. — Amie Kaufman

I think bad taste should be a felony. — Margo Kaufman

Selfless acts are a source of profound meaning for your self and your life. — Ron Kaufman

Giving great service requires the right people and the right service tools. — Ron Kaufman

Let today's strong performance be your starting point for tomorrow. — Ron Kaufman

Or else I'm dead, and I've ended up in hell after all, and it's an escape pod with Lilac LaRoux. — Amie Kaufman

Story ideas, but it's also musing on stuff that I'm thinking about. This leads me to this and this leads me to this. They're kind of random and haphazard. Often I can't find anything. Somehow, by doing that, even though I don't necessarily refer to them in a specific way, I have some sort of architecture in my head. — Charlie Kaufman

Thousands of individuals unknowingly contribute to the creation of our lives. Over the years, these serendipitous exchanges made imprints on my mind and heart and served as catalysts for my ongoing growth and development. — Kristin S. Kaufman

You could die tomorrow, you don't think you should kiss her today? — Amie Kaufman

Maybe we wouldn't even like each other if we weren't fighting for our lives every second of every day. — Amie Kaufman

Svensson has struggled as everyone struggles, he's conceded his defeats. He's not a player, but he has lost nonetheless. Svensson is no stranger than the rest of us. At some point he decided to stop playing the game, and turned to the tangible things: Svensson and the painter Kiki Kaufman have a daughter named Bella. Bella has two teeth (the research intern did a terrible job). Svensson and Kiki are turning a ruin into a house, they're turning a study into a nursery, they plant and harvest and breed animals and slaughter and cook. — Thomas Pletzinger

I like titles that are a little difficult, because it's kind of counterintuitive. — Charlie Kaufman

The person who goes to the Troma movie knows that he or she may love the Troma movie or, he or she may hate the Troma movie; but the movie goer knows that he or she will never forget the Troma movie. — Lloyd Kaufman

My breath catches, responding to an unfamiliar pull in my chest, an ache in my soul. I shouldn't miss him, but I do; this boy who had every right to pull that trigger, and instead threw himself between me and death. This boy, the only one who believes I'm not what they say I am what I believed I was; a soldier without a soul, a girl with no heart to break. He's the only one who's proved me wrong. — Amie Kaufman

To see like a customer, be like a customer. — Ron Kaufman

I know that as a very young child, I was afraid of death. Many children become aware of the notion of death early and it can be a very troubling thing. We're all in this continuum: I'm this age now, and if I live long enough I'll be that age. I was 20 once, I was 10, I was 4. People who are 20 now will be 50 one day. They don't know that! They know it in the abstract, but they don't know it. I'd like them to know it, because I think it gives you compassion. — Charlie Kaufman

Unlimited efforts can produce unlimited results. — Ron Kaufman

Children are the true connoisseurs. What's precious to them has no price, only value. — Bel Kaufman

Are you moving forward, or just moving? — Ron Kaufman

CLAIRE
I used to be a baby!

CADAN
I'm sorry. — Charlie Kaufman

That DMC Act is a disgrace. And the problem with independent art in this country is that independent artists have been economically blacklisted. — Lloyd Kaufman

The way I work is not the way that you work, and the whole point of any creative act is that. What I have to offer is me, what you have to offer is you, and if you offer yourself with authenticity and generosity I will be moved. — Charlie Kaufman

The conventional wisdom is - people say this all the time - you should only write something when you're far enough away from it that you can have a perspective. But that's not true. That's a story that you're telling. The truth of it is here, right now. It's the only truth that we ever know. And I'm interested in that truth and the confusion being part of the experience and sorting it your way through and figuring it out. — Charlie Kaufman

Remodeling is like pulling a loose thread on a cheap sweater - the job keeps unraveling. — Margo Kaufman

There's no way to describe what I do. It's just me. — Andy Kaufman

You are as important as you make others feel. — Ron Kaufman

You and I share the same DNA.
Is there anything more lonely than that? — Charlie Kaufman

Trying to control construction costs is like trying to control the cost of a hospital stay. You may not realize that when you sneeze and the nurse hands you a box of tissues, it generates a $5 charge on your bill. But you still have to pay. — Margo Kaufman

People will say things after a screening that it affects them in a certain way, which is why I don't like to explain what certain things are about. I want them to have that. It limits people's ability to understand something if I say it's "about this." That's happened to us a bunch on this. — Charlie Kaufman

If you're always doing what you've always done, you'll never see (or become) what you could be! — Ron Kaufman

I didn't even know what a film director was. To me, Charlie Chaplin was a goofy clown, and John Ford - what? Never heard of him. — Lloyd Kaufman

Preparation clears a pathway for success. — Ron Kaufman

If you want to be the best, find the best in others. — Ron Kaufman

Don't wait. Tomorrow may be too late to do the things you can today. — Ron Kaufman

The preciousness of every moment is emphasized with every tick of the clock. Isn't it a magnificent day today? — Bel Kaufman

Acting after being asked is compliance. Acting without being asked is kindness. — Ron Kaufman

The end is built into the beginning. — Charlie Kaufman

Money has a fixed value. People can have unlimited value. — Ron Kaufman

That's so not your business it almost punches clean past the event horizon of Not Your Business and becomes Your Business again. — Amie Kaufman

She wrote poetry constantly; that was her "work". She was a slow bleeder and she slaved over it for long, exhausting hours, and many a middle of a night I could hear her creaking around the dead house with a pen in one hand, a clipboard and a flashlight in the other, refining her poems, jotting down the lines of a conceit. Writing never came easy for her; it gave her calluses. She never courted the muses, she wrestled them, mauled them all over the house and came up, after weeks of peripatetic labor, with a slim Spencerian sonnet, fourteen lines of imagistic jabberwocky. — Millard Kaufman

Probably is not a word I like to hear when I'm talking about our chances of recouping a huge investment. — Margo Kaufman

I think I've had pretty good experiences for the most part with the people who have directed my screenplays. — Charlie Kaufman

I feel like I want to keep moving toward idiosyncracy. Personal, personal, personal. — Charlie Kaufman

Compromise in your arguments, not in your expectations. — Ron Kaufman

You're dealing with the body, and you're dealing with bodily functions. We romanticize everything about people in movies. — Charlie Kaufman

I want to point the way to something that should forever lure them, when the TV set is broken and the movie is over and the school bell has rung for the last time. — Bel Kaufman

Ask your loyal customers for positive comments about your products and your service. Then post these testimonials where other customers and prospects can enjoy them. — Ron Kaufman

I was heavily influenced by Andy Kaufman and Steven Wright. — David Cross

Our world is moving so fast and we are apt to miss so much of what is happening "right now." If we can put down our smart phones for one moment and be present to what is around us, I believe these incidental meetings and strangers who come into our lives can give us unexpected fortitude, perspective and even wisdom just when we need them the most - if we are just awake, aware and open to these new insights. — Kristin S. Kaufman

People with learning goals are all about increasing their skills, whereas those with performance goals are all about winning, and looking smart. Because — Scott Barry Kaufman

Through real-life stories, Kristin Kaufman illustrates the core idea of being present in the moment and opening oneself up to new ideas in order to become an authentic leader in life. — Stephen R. Covey

The quickest and easiest way to screw up your life is to take on too much debt. — Josh Kaufman

The Sloth would sit on his couch, paralyzed by all the things he wasn't taking care of. Then one day, a Wednesday, he just said, 'Fuck it!' He threw his hands up into the air and said, 'Fuck it!' This was the day that the sloth discovered his superpower, an amazing ability to say 'Fuck it' and really, truly mean it. — Andrew Kaufman

The starting point is always now. The end is up to you. — Ron Kaufman

When things go wrong, your best recovery effort is required. But don't just provide the missing piece (that's the recovery), also provide uniquely personal assistance (that's the memorable effort). — Ron Kaufman

I never knew it was possible to be so miserable in so many ways. — Amie Kaufman

I read, therefore I'm interested in writers. — Philip Kaufman

I know Charlie Kaufman really well, for instance. Charlie Kaufman starts a story, and he has no freaking idea where he's going. None. Zero. And he doesn't want to know, because there's a little bit of death in that. — Stephen Gaghan

But who names a starship the Icarus? What kind of man possess that much hubris, that he dares it to fall? — Amie Kaufman