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I Will Survive Funny Quotes & Sayings

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I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Dean Koontz

In this world only the paranoid survive. — Dean Koontz

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Anna McPartlin

It's funny how the world works, how we win and lose, how we can never really know what's ahead though we never stop planning. How we survive and move on. There's a sadness that comes with survival, but also more joy to be had. — Anna McPartlin

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Barry Sonnenfeld

When Frank the Pug is singing I Will Survive, the only reason it's funny is that Will is in that shot trying not to get angry. A shot of a dog singing I Will Survive on its own will not get a laugh. — Barry Sonnenfeld

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Sebastian Barry

It is funny, but it strikes me that a person without anecdotes that they nurse while they live, and that survive them, are more likely to be utterly lost not only to history but the family following them. Of course this is the fate of most souls, reducing entire lives, no matter how vivid and wonderful, to those sad black names on withering family trees, with half a date dangling after and a question mark. — Sebastian Barry

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By George A. Romero

For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings - by classmates, not the nuns - was to be the funny guy. — George A. Romero

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Marc Maron

Is there any indication we shouldn't be depressed? Are you living on the same planet that I am? Do you ever think that depression might be the reasonable human response to the crap we're going through as a species, meant to propel us into the next evolutionary step or, at least, into taking some different course of action, so that we might survive? Do you ever think that maybe it's the happy people that are really screwed up in the head? — Marc Maron

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Tracy Morgan

Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day. — Tracy Morgan

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Rick Riordan

Yes, an actual full-sized camel. If you find that confusing, just think how the criosphinx must have felt.
Where did the camel come from, you ask? I may have mentioned Walt's collection of amulets. Two of them summoned disgusting camels. I'd
met them before, so I was less than excited when a ton of dromedary flesh flew across my line of sight, plowed into the sphinx, and collapsed on top
of it. The sphinx growled in outrage as it tried to free itself. The camel grunted and farted.
"Hindenburg," I said. Only one camel could possibly fart that badly. "Walt, why in the world - ?"
"Sorry!" he yelled. "Wrong amulet!"
The technique worked, at any rate. The camel wasn't much of a fighter, but it was quite heavy and clumsy. The criosphinx snarled and clawed
at the floor, trying unsuccessfully to push the camel off; but Hindenburg just splayed his legs, made alarmed honking sounds, and let loose gas.
I moved to Walt's side and tried to get my bearings. — Rick Riordan

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By J.R. Ward

And it was kind of funny to see all these professional fighters unwilling to get within a mile of the female. Then again, if you wanted to survive doing the work they did, accurate risk assessment was something you developed early
and even Qhuinn, who was the object of the protective instinct the Chosen was rocking, wouldn't have dared touch her. — J.R. Ward

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Roz Chast

I think maybe to survive, I mean to just get through the day - I'm not saying that everything is hilariously funny. — Roz Chast

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Peter Ustinov

British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps. — Peter Ustinov

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Yvonne Prinz

Mom, camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. — Yvonne Prinz

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Eric Idle

At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted. — Eric Idle

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By George Carlin

If black boxes survive air crashes - why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? — George Carlin

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Kirstin Cronn-Mills

I will survive, jackoffs. Just watch me. — Kirstin Cronn-Mills

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Oprah Winfrey

What I know for sure is that if you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal. I know ours is. — Oprah Winfrey

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Norman Douglas

Nobody can misunderstand a boy like his own mother. Mothers at present can bring children into the world, but this performance is apt to mark the end of their capacities. They can't even attend to the elementary animal requirements of their offspring. It is quite surprising how many children survive in spite of their mothers. — Norman Douglas

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Henry Rollins

It's funny how people think that they have "a right to life". Now isn't that the biggest load you ever heard? You don't have a right to shit your pants on Sunday. Let's take it back to the jungle. Where the fuck are your rights there? No layers in the jungle. Civilization has allowed the weak to survive. You can sit back and be an overweight, apathetic piece of shit, smoke your dope and still survive because you have a right to life. — Henry Rollins

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Rachel Vincent

I got more than I bargained for with him, too. Much more. I know he's completely different now, but he was really nice and funny when he was human. But apparently his manners didn't survive the transition."
Marc smiled. "Yeah, well , yours didn't survive puberty, so you can't really talk. — Rachel Vincent

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Andrea Cremer

Shay opened his palm, a Hershey's Kiss rested in his hand.
Mason winked at him. 'Welcome to the table, man. I hope you survive.'
'I think I'll manage.' He turned the silver-wrapped chocolate in his fingers. 'Thanks for this. There's nothing quite like a really good kiss.'
His mouth crinkled in a smile and he cast me a sidelong glance, making my toes curl. — Andrea Cremer

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Rick Riordan

Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit. — Rick Riordan

I Will Survive Funny Quotes By Rick Riordan

If you're listening to this, congratulations! You survived Doomsday.
I'd like to apologize straightaway for any inconvenience the end of the world may have caused you. The earthquakes, rebellions, riots,tornadoes, floods, tsunamis, and of course the giant snake who swallowed the sun - I'm afraid most of that was our fault. Carter and I decided we should at least explain how it happened. — Rick Riordan