I Spy Funny Quotes & Sayings

If there's no sea-gull there's no meeting, Wicklow had said. No sea-gull means abort. That's my epitaph, thought Barley. 'There was no sea-gull, so he aborted. — John Le Carre

Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick's been acting fishy! I need to buy a safe that looks like a Spray 'N Wash can. "Hey, Mitch, can I use the Spray 'N Wash?" "Yeah, if you want to spray your shirt with documents!" — Mitch Hedberg

It was time for the mirror pep talk.
"Okay, Maggie," I said to myself after my shower, wiping the steam off the medicine cabinet.
"You could eat these kids for breakfast. You won't, though, because that would be cannibalistic and
wrong. — Robin Benway

Spies have the same kinds of needs and desires that everybody does, which is funny. The best kind of comedy derives from that kind of truth. — Matt Nix

That's for me to know, and for you to find out. — Ally Carter

He wondered if her spy had stumbled upon his last night. When did he start thinking like his mother? — Johanna Lindsey

What's your name, son?' Sam said. The man looked to be about Sam's age, but Sam always thought calling people 'son' immediately gave the air of imperial authority and opened the door for spanking if need be. — Tod Goldberg

Right now, I couldn't have cared less if someone had waltzed across the room in a large flower costume with a sign saying GET YOUR BLACK TULIPS HERE. Every nerve in my body was on man-alert, screaming, incoming! — Lauren Willig

I glared at him. "You came all the way to Essex just to spy on us?"
"Yeah." He smirked. "I crossed the street. It was really rough. — Leila Sales

The room fell silent. I frankly didn't know what I was going to do to help Eduardo, but I had the sense that he was right- no one else could help him, and without help, all that he'd done would crumble.
Plus, I like being called his only hope. I felt like Obi-Wan Kenobi. — Tod Goldberg

I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with ... G."
"Sausages. — Adam Rex

Two days after my dad's funeral, my mom went on a mission. I never understood it until then
that sometimes a spy doesn't need a cover so much as she needs a shield. — Ally Carter

Sergei, what are you checking for?" I asked. At first I thought it was funny. He moved quickly and efficiently, making a clean sweep of each room with me trailing behind him.

"I am checking to make sure we are alone," he informed me. "You could be spy."

"Sergei, I'm not a spy. There is no one here in my apartment besides you and me. You know where I work." I tried to assure him, but I didn't know what else I could do to convince him otherwise. — K. Kidd