Quotes & Sayings About Horoscopes

Foolish people spend time and money poring over horoscopes and consulting so-called psychics trying to see the dark unknown. How much better to walk through life holding the hand of One who knows the way and cares for us! — Adrian Rogers

Frankly, I'll believe in horoscopes the day I can describe my personality to an astrologer and they tell me what date I was born. — Seth Shostak

Fact.
Pisces is THE most wobbly sign of the Zodiac. — Mary English

Our satellites are reaching stars
And there are people who are still searching stars in Horoscopes — Subhasis Das

No matter what sign you were born under, everybody else's horoscope will be more fun than yours. — Teresa Bloomingdale

I've read horoscopes before and what they say. But I would actually love to not be what somebody writes down - I don't want to be described. I don't want you to be able to read something and say, "This is how Wayne is." I'd rather you meet me and decide. I'd rather be different, basically. — Lil' Wayne

Successful long term relationships are all about power levels.
A high power level male will attract and succeed with a high level power female.
How do we define those power levels? We can't, they are inherently in us, and invisible to scientists, accountants, psychologists and spiritualists alike. None can explain the Universe in its entirety, and it is more than chemistry, biology, physics, genetics, horoscopes, religion, in-laws, fame, psychology and spirituality.
We may be infatuated by a person, but as soon as we hold their hands, kiss their lips, and especially, make love or have sex with them, their power levels will be instantly exposed. — Robert Black

It's surely no accident that there are horoscopes in Vogue, Glamour, Mademoiselle, Woman, New Woman, Elle and Cosmo ... but not Sports Illustrated, GQ, Esquire, Field & Stream or Guns & Ammo. — Merrill Markoe

Clutching our crystals and religiously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in steep decline, unable to distinguish between what's true and what feels good, we slide, almost without noticing, into superstition and darkness. — Carl Sagan

Perfect! You guys are the same age. I bet you have a lot in common."
Classic adult logic. Reid and I are vaguely the same age, so of course we're basically soul mates. It's like horoscopes. Somehow I'm supposed to believe that I'm similar in some meaningful way to every single person born on my birthday. Or every single Sagittarius. I mean, I barely have anything in common with Cassie, and we were born six minutes apart. — Becky Albertalli

It is a sin to follow your horoscope because only God knows the future and He won't tell us. Also, we can tell horoscopes are false because according to astrology, Christ would have been a Capricorn, and Capricorn people are cold, ambitious and attracted to Scorpio and Virgo, and we know that Christ was warm, loving, and not attracted to anybody. — Christopher Durang

I thank everyone I don't love.
They don't cause me heartache
they don't make me write long letters
they don't disturb my dreams
I don't await them anxiously
I don't read their horoscopes in magazines
I don't dial their numbers
I don't think of them.
I thank them a lot
they don't turn my life upside down. — Dunya Mikhail

The Glasshobs built it to keep an eye on the stars, who have a tendency to run off on adventures and forget about how much we down-below folks need to navigate and cast horoscopes and meet lovers on balconies. — Catherynne M Valente

He'd heard of this woman. The Dame de Doubtance, they called her: a madwoman and a caster of horoscopes. Gaultier gave her house-room and men and women came to her from all the known world and had their futures foretold - if she felt like it. She had given some help once to Lymond, on her own severe terms, because of a distant link, it was said, with his family. Plainly, a crazy old harridan. But if she was going to tell Lymond he ought to find a nice girl and marry her, Jerott wanted very much to be there. — Dorothy Dunnett

I believe in horoscopes. I was born under the sign of the Ram, which means I'm headstrong, don't like people telling me what to do. — Loretta Lynn

I was brought up by a Marxist rationalist stepfather, so I don't believe in the supernatural or religion or horoscopes, and the absolute nature of death is quite helpful for me. My husband was there, then he wasn't. — Natascha McElhone

At breakfast, Babette read all our horoscopes aloud, using her storytelling voice. I tried not to listen when she got to mine, although I think I wanted to listen, I think I sought some clues. — Don DeLillo

How long before we devise a means of telling horoscopes with gas lamps? — K.J. Bishop

Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to. — Dov Davidoff

I should warn you that I'm not taken with horoscopes and such," I told her. She licked her lips again and said nothing. "If you must know, I'm a goat," I said. "That's right, a fecking goat. There's a whole nation of people behind the East Wall who say I was born in the year of the goat. I've no time for any system that has me as a goat. I don't care how ancient their civilization is. — Mark Lawrence

I write weird stories. I don't know why I like weirdness so much. Myself, I'm a very realistic person. I don't trust anything New Age
or reincarnation, dreams, Tarot, horoscopes. I don't trust anything like that at all. I wake up at 6 in the morning and go to bed at 10, jogging every day and swimming, eating healthy food. I'm very realistic. But when I write, I write weird. That's very strange. When I'm getting more and more serious, I'm getting more and more weird. When I want to write about the reality of society and the world, it gets weird. Many people ask me why, and I can't answer that. But I recognized when I was interviewing those 63 ordinary people
they were very straightforward, very simple, very ordinary, but their stories were sometimes very weird. That was interesting. — Haruki Murakami

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The total number of people who understand relativistic time, even after eighty years since the advent of special relativity, is still much smaller than the number of people who believe in horoscopes. — Yuval Ne'eman

It's the way he had a cup of tea waiting for me when I woke up. It's the way he turned on his laptop especially for me to look up all my Internet horoscopes and helped me choose the best one. He knows all the crappy, embarrassing bits about me that I normally try to hide from any man for as long as possible ... and he loves me anyway. — Sophie Kinsella

If their horoscopes are not compatible, this marriage is out of the question. — Swarnakanthi Rajapakse

I have a foreboding of an America in my children's or grandchildren's time ... when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what's true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstitions and darkness. — Carl Sagan

Because of the revolution of the Earth upon its axis, a new degree of the zodiac rises every four minutes, and thus even the horoscopes of twins may differ considerably. — Max Heindel

Methods for predicting the future: 1) read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls ... collectively known as "nutty methods;" 2) put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer ... commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time." — Scott Adams

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For most of us, when our 'dreams' - I use the word with reservations - came true, and marriage and motherhood became a reality, the romcoms, like horoscopes, swiftly lost their allure. — Mariella Frostrup

What if the preacher or father's saying 'Someone here's lost and hopeless' was tantamount to those Sun-Times horoscopes that are specially designed to be so universally obvious that they always give their horoscope readers that special eerie feeling of particularity and insight, exploiting the psychological fact that most people are narcissistic and prone to the illusion that they and their problems are uniquely special and that if they're feeling a certain way then surely they're the only person who is feeling like that. — David Foster Wallace

Why did his tongue cultivate such a great many glissades of truth? I don't know. However, we can see two interesting tendencies: 1. Everything in your father's life that had political blackness was filtered out. Politics were, for him, a swamp that had already drowned too many in his vicinity. Not until late in life would your father change his relationship with politics. Perhaps too late. 2. Certainly we all realized that your father's words were not totally correct. But still we were hypnotized and stimulated. Is it not bizarre how the words of imagination can rumble forth a certain comfort? And is that not reality's reason for the existence of superfluousities like horoscopes, psychologists, and authors? — Jonas Hassen Khemiri

A scientist places an ad in a Paris newspaper offering a free horoscope. He receives about 150 replies, each, as requested, detailing a place and time of birth. Every respondent is then sent the identical horoscope, along with a questionnaire asking how accurate the horoscope had been. Ninety-four per cent of the respondents (and 90 per cent of their families and friends) reply that they were at least recognizable in the horoscope. However, the horoscope was drawn up for a French serial killer. If an astrologer can get this far without even meeting his subjects, think how well someone sensitive to human nuances and not overly scrupulous might do. — Carl Sagan

Come to that, don't pay out good money for horoscopes. If things are going to go badly for you, is that what you need to know as you saddle up? — Hilary Mantel

Men, forever tempted to lift the veil of the future-with the aid of computers or horoscopes or the intestines of sacrificial animals-have a worse record to show in these sciences than in almost any scientific endeavor. — Hannah Arendt

I'm Cancer and Gemini cusp, so I read both and pick the one I like best. I read horoscopes but claim not to believe any of it. — Joe Dempsie