Quotes & Sayings About Herpes

Alcoholism is a disease," she said. "Like athlete's foot. Or herpes. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Luker and I have lots of friends who are alcoholics. And speed freaks too." "Well, — Michael McDowell

Participation trophies are the soul herpes of a generation. — Christopher Titus

So you never really tried to solve the problem.
Oh, c'mon. Can you ever "solve" poverty? Can you ever "solve" crime? Can you ever "solve" disease, unemployment, war, or any other societal herpes? Hell no. All you can hope for is to make them manageable enough to allow people to get on with their lives. That's not cynicism, that's maturity. You can't stop the rain. All you can do is just build a roof that you hope won't leak, or at least won't leak on the people who are gonna vote for you.
What does that mean?
C'mon ...
Seriously. What does that mean?
Fine, whatever, "Mister Smith goes to motherfuckin' Washington," it means that, in politics, you focus on the needs of your power base. Keep them happy, and they keep you in office. — Max Brooks

One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident. Herpes. — Mitch Hedberg

E-mails are the new herpes: You never get rid of them. — Christopher Buckley

Viruses like symmetrical shapes because symmetry provides a very simple means for them to multiply, and that is what makes viral diseases so infectious - in fact, that's what 'virulent' means. Traditionally, symmetry has been something people have found aesthetically appealing, whether it is seen in a diamond, a flower or the face of a supermodel. But symmetry isn't always so desirable. Some of the most deadly viruses on the biological books, from influenza to herpes, from polio to the AIDS virus, are constructed using the shape of an icosahedron. Is — Marcus Du Sautoy

Just looking for a piece of adventure, my ass. You already have an adventure. Who is he?"
An enigma.
"Just a guy I met the other night," I answered.
"And why the hell would you not want to see him? Did he have herpes or something? Because that's a damn shame. Like paint splattered all over a Van Gogh. Or a naked Ryan Gosling. — Cora Carmack

I lean forward and grab the bowl of ice cream she didn't finish and pull it to my, then take a bite. She watches me as I close my lips around the spoon and pull it out of my mouth. She scrunches up her nose staring at the spoon. "I could have herpes, you know," she says. I grin at her and wink. "You somehow just made herpes sound appealing. — Colleen Hoover

It's all over you when you say his name. Like glitter or something. You can't ever get that shit off. Glitter is the herpes of the craft world. — Leta Blake

My daddy, or papa as Ilike to call him is always healthy. Sure, he had the herpes but he managed it very well! — Santino Marella

Yes, he's like a rash for which there's no cure. It only goes away for a bit before returning unexpectedly to ruin every pleasurable experience. He should have been named Herpes rather than ZT. Or maybe just Herpes Z, since he's a very special irritant. (Arik) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I was thinking about picking up kayaking, but I didn't want anyone to think I had herpes. — Ingrid Weir

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it. — Dov Davidoff

Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. — Demetri Martin

The virus of irony is as widespread in California as herpes, and once you're infected with it, it lives in your brain forever. — Neal Stephenson

At twenty years old, I was the youngest one at the dungeon, but not by much. No one was over thirty. The head bitch in charge was Mistress Rox. She had been there for eight years, and was known in the city as one of the meanest, baddest, yet most sensual masters. I've seen her shit on a guy. Like, right on his face. There's no way he didn't get pinkeye from that. You can't erase things like that from your memory, no matter how much you want to. It's like herpes in your brain. It's forever. — Asa Akira

I find love is more of a bacterium than a virus unless you are comparing it to herpes. — Amanda Mosher

I think the philosophy in our public schools, and many other institutions today, is that a dose of God is more hazardous to your health than a dose of herpes or drugs. — Cal Thomas

Well, listen, sweetheart. Boys only want one thing, of course, and guess what that means for you? Heartbreak. Pregnancy. Chlamydia, herpes, syphilis, crabs.
That's beautiful, Dad. You should set it to music. — Kristan Higgins

For them, it's not about the riding; it's about the bike, and the riding part is simply their way of fondling their possession. They keep their bicycles clean all the time, they fear scratches like they're herpes, and they don't ever ride in the rain (or as they call it, "water herpes") so their bikes won't get dirty or rusty. They're like the people who collect toys but don't remove them from the package so as not to diminish their value, or who swish wine around in their mouths without swallowing it, or who never get around to having actual sex because they're too into sniffing high-heeled shoes while dressed as Darth Vader. These are not cyclists, they're bicycle fetishists. In — BikeSnobNYC

Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing nothing but gold paint. That's a unique way to cover up herpes. — Chelsea Handler

Wendy warmed my heart, earned my trust, touched my soul, and then touched me in a lot of other places. And right after we'd slept together for the very first time she looked up at me with her chocolate-brown, trustworthy doe eyes and said, I've got herpes. I thought you should know. — Caprice Crane

Do people talk about the war?" Miller asked. "Often," the missionary said. "Anyone make sense of it?" "No. I don't believe war ever does. It's a madness that's in our nature. Sometimes it recurs; sometimes it subsides." "Sounds like a disease." "The herpes simplex of the species?" the missionary said with a laugh. "I suppose there are worse ways to think of it. I'm afraid that as long as we're human, it will be with us. — James S.A. Corey

You," Madeline said, her voice hollow and wheezing, "are like a bad case of herpes, wizard. You're inconvenient, embarassing, no real threat, and you simply will not go away. — Jim Butcher

All I could think about was throwing something at her - something made of glass. Or spikes. Or a viral disease. They really should invent Herpes In A Jar for moments like these — Robin Mellom

Even though I grew up two hours south, I had rarely ventured to Los Angeles. I soon learned that my dad wasn't totally off base when he said, "Los Angeles is like San Diego's older, uglier sister that has herpes." ... "Remember. Family," he said. "Also, how do I get back to I-5? I hate this fucking city. — Justin Halpern

She's out of my league, but if she has herpes ...
That puts us in the same league!
The herpes league! — Rick Remender

Pot is to narcotics what herpes is to social diseases; it doesn't count cos it's not really dangerous and it's too easy to get. — Doug Stanhope

Los Angeles is like San Diego's older, uglier sister that has herpes. — Justin Halpern

Natural selection shaped the human brain to be drawn toward aspects of nature that enhance our survival and reproduction, like verdant landscapes and docile creatures. There is no payoff to getting the warm fuzzies in the presence of rats, snakes, mosquitoes, cockroaches, herpes simplex and the rabies virus. — Paul Bloom

... it seemed appropriate that I should develop some kind of illness. This is a good idea when you are at a loose end because everything, up to and including herpes, is better than being bored. — Jeremy Clarkson

Whenever I'm about to have sex with a girl, I play it smart and just automatically assume she has herpes; because that way I don't have to tell her about my herpes. — Anthony Jeselnik

Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and something called relationships. — Sacha Baron Cohen

Herpes, AIDS, the Middle East at full throttle. Better check that sausage before you put it in the waffle. — Lou Reed

Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be ... herpes. — Jen Lancaster

With reference to viral infections," the Librarian says, "if I may make a fairly blunt, spontaneous cross-reference - something I am coded to do at opportune moments - you may wish to examine herpes simplex, a virus that takes up residence in the nervous system and never leaves. It is capable of carrying new genes into existing neurons and genetically reengineering them. Modern gene therapists use it for this purpose. Lagos thought that herpes simplex might be a modern, benign descendant of Asherah. — Neal Stephenson

It was a newsflash to me that dating as a pre-thirty divorcette was as bad as having herpes. — Stephanie Klein

Can you ever "solve" poverty? Can you ever "solve" crime? Can you ever "solve" disease, unemployment, war, or any other societal herpes? Hell no. — Max Brooks

You talk weird." She whispered as she stared up at the white ceiling.
"Its part of my barely there practically nonexistent charm, but just like genital herpes, I grow on ya, kid and I'll getcha in the end." Sienna replied with a smirk, although her words were vaguely comical, everything else about her was not. — Ali Harper

I am a player in life, not an observer. I look at herpes the way you look at a scraped knee. — Doug Stanhope

Gave a girl herpes in exchange for syphilis, put my LP on your Christmas gift list. — Eminem

Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked.
"Huh?" Why would he ask her that?
"A big, mean-as-fuck, jealous guy who will break my neck with his bare hands if he knew I touched you?"
Toni shook her head.
"A raging case of herpes?"
"Of course not!"
"You're not making this any easier on me. — Olivia Cunning

Harpies, n. A disease transmitted to humans by birds with human faces. — Ron Brackin

She covered her body with a feather, reached under her legs, and threw her panties into the audience. A flying herpes rag. A hipster with mutton-chop sideburns caught it. He crumpled it in his fist and thrust it into the air excitedly. His little venereal prize. A — Neil Strauss

Freedom in every sense but primarily political sense, a rise in repression that stems from a repression of sexuality. It's AIDS, it's herpes, it's this, it's that. Ask any saloon owner what's happened to social life in America and they'll tell you it's a different world and these people are strongly misinformed by the media, peer pressure. — Jack Nicholson

Can you ever "solve" disease, unemployment, war, or any other societal herpes? Hell no. All you can hope for is to make them manageable enough to allow people to get on with their lives. That's not cynicism, that's maturity. — Max Brooks

I'm kinda like herpes, I just keep coming back. — George Carlin

All That You Can Be'?" I said. "I don't know. That was the slogan for me, growing up. And then it was 'Army of One,' which I never understood, and then it was 'Army Strong,' which is about as good a slogan as 'Fire Hot' or 'Snickers Tasty' or 'Herpes Bad.' A better slogan would be, 'You Can't Afford College Without Us. — Phil Klay

Mental imbalance is about as acceptable as herpes. It's never going to be accepted. But really, it's a disease just like cancer. It just happens, and eats away all the good parts of your brain, like judgment and happiness and perception and memory and life. And you can die from depression just like any other disease. And it's not as if people choose it. So why is it still a joke of medicine? "She died of cancer." is a lot more socially acceptable to people than "She committed suicide. — Sarahbeth Purcell

That circular loop was fatal. Patsy giving them their Latin name, herpes zoster, describing how the pain attacked the line of the nerves, something Dilly knew beyond the Latin words when she had wept night after night, as they oozed and bled, when nothing, no tablet, no prayer, no interceding, could do anything for her, a punishment so acute that she often felt one half of her body was in mutiny against — Edna O'Brien

It's rock and roll, sugar. Guys shouldn't sound like angels. They should sound like sick bastards who'll butt fuck your little sister and leave her with herpes. — Bijou Hunter

Leo turned to me, his upper lip curved in that way it does when he's confused. "What exactly is your problem? You broke it off with me, remember?"
The bitch wasn't backing down. Now she had control of my hands. She wagged a finger at Leo. "And you just couldn't wait to climb aboard that silicone-stuffed herpes ride, could you? — Barbra Annino

If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes. — Chuck Palahniuk

Why is it beautiful that humanity keeps coming back? So does herpes. — Isaac Marion

The Dark Ages are alive and secretly thriving like a herpes infection among us. — Juliette Fay

It must be some book," she said as she knelt down next to the bed ... "Did that boy give it to you?" She asked out of nowhere.
"By 'it' do you mean herpes?"
"You are too much," Mom said, "The book, Hazel. I mean the book. — John Green

Mom hooked me up to a portable tank and then reminded me I had class. "Did that boy give it to you?" she asked out of nowhere.
"By it, do you mean herpes?"
"You are too much," Mom said. "The book, Hazel. I mean the book."
"Yeah, he gave me the book. — John Green

I imagined the lies the valedictorian was telling them right now. About the exciting future that lies ahead. I wish she'd tell them the truth: Half of you have gone as far in life as you're ever going to. Look around. It's all downhill from here. The rest of us will go a bit further, a steady job, a trip to Hawaii, or a move to Phoenix, Arizona, but out of fifteen hundred how many will do anything truly worthwhile, write a play, paint a painting that will hang in a gallery, find a cure for herpes? Two of us, maybe three? And how many will find true love? About the same. And enlightenment? Maybe one. The rest of us will make compromises, find excuses, someone or something to blame, and hold that over our hearts like a pendant on a chain. — Janet Fitch

Herpes B is a very rare infection in humans but a nasty one, with a case fatality rate of almost 70 percent among those few dozen people infected during the twentieth century (before recent breakthroughs in antiviral pharmaceutics) and almost 50 percent even since then. When — David Quammen

Britain's Advisory Committee on Dangerous Pathogens had lately reclassified herpes B into biohazard level 4, placing it in the elite company of Ebola, Marburg, and the virus that causes Crimean-Congo hemorrhagic fever. National — David Quammen

Pretty much everyone hates high school. It's a measure of your humanity, I suspect. If you enjoyed high school, you were probably a psychopath or a cheerleader. Or possibly both. Those things aren't mutually exclusive, you know. I've tried to block out the memory of my high school years, but no matter how hard you try, it's always with you, like an unwanted hitchhiker. Or herpes. I assume ... — Jenny Lawson

It is important to go into work you would like to do. Then it doesn't seem like work. You sometimes feel it's almost too good to be true that someone will pay you for enjoying yourself. I've been very fortunate that my work led to useful drugs for a variety of serious illnesses. The thrill of seeing people get well who might otherwise have died of diseases like leukemia, kidney failure, and herpes virus encephalitis cannot be described in words. — Gertrude B. Elion

According to Marcie's mom, only people with no class actually use the word class. If you have it, then you never talk about it."
"Oh". Johnny nodded slowly. "Just like herpes. — Kristin Walker

I don't believe war ever does. It's a madness that's in our nature. Sometimes it recurs; sometimes it subsides." "Sounds like a disease." "The herpes simplex of the species? — James S.A. Corey

You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees. — Dov Davidoff

Why does everybody say 'feminist' that way?" "What way?" "The way Dooney kept saying 'herpes' after health class last year. Like it's this terrible, unspeakable thing. — Aaron Hartzler

I feel the same way about disco as I do about herpes. — Hunter S. Thompson

A simple hello could lead to a million things. "Yeah," Gus said. "Like herpes or getting fisted. — T.J. Klune

It turns out, teachers think of glitter as the herpes of craft world- impossible to contain or exterminate. (Beer Buckets and Baby Jesus) — Myra McEntire

Your like herpes you show up when shit gets tense, and never fully go away! - (Cooper to Violet) — Ann Charles

Kissing's no fun when you have herpes — John O'Callaghan