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Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes & Sayings

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Top Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Colin Nissan

How rude of me, we haven't even introduced ourselves. We're the Andersons. I'm Evan, the lovely size-zero lass in the floppy sun hat is my wife Amy, and these are our best friends/children, Evan and Amy Jr. As you can see, we're very fit and active. You know what our family's average percentage of body fat is? Three. Yes, really. We got it tested last year when we all became organ donors.
You may have noticed that I'm carrying Amy on my back. We do that a lot. At least once a day, and not just when we're in fields like this; we do it on beaches and in urban environments as well. That's what happens when your love is deep and playful like ours. You should also know that we also dab frosting on each other's noses every single time we eat cupcakes, which is both mischievous and very us. Do you guys even eat cupcakes? — Colin Nissan

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Anne Lamott

I very rarely read the responses to my Salon pieces, because (as you may have noticed) the trolls can be SO evil. So violent in their hostility to me and my work. OK, wait, wait, wait. That's a lie. I do read the responses
and get mesmerized, like cobra hypnosis. But I laugh (mostly) at the trolls, and think about what tiny little weenies they must have. (They seem to be mostly men.) And then ALL these smart, funny people leap to my defense, which is medicine, and fills me with love and thankfulness. — Anne Lamott

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Frances Hodgson Burnett

As she came closer to him she noticed that there was a clean fresh scent of heather and grass and leaves about him, almost as if he were made of them. She liked it very much and when she looked into his funny face with the red cheeks and round blue eyes she forgot that she had felt shy. — Frances Hodgson Burnett

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Les Dawson

I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it. — Les Dawson

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By KRS-One

Hip-hop as a culture itself goes through stages. It grows - it's breathing, living. I've noticed that we usually start off conscious, then we wind up very highly sexual, and then we thug it out. Then things get a little funny again, with comedy and that kind of thing. — KRS-One

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Kathleen Peacock

Did it ever occur to either of you that maybe MAC doesn't need protecting? That maybe MAC finds your he-man acts both insulting and chauvinistic? In case you haven't noticed, MAC is pretty good at taking care of herself. "
Kyle cleared his throat. He looked exhausted and wary.
"Why are you talking about yourself in the Thrid Person? — Kathleen Peacock

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Derek Landy

My wife was saying to me just the other day how she's noticed a spring in my step lately. That was because I thought you were gone forever.'
'I missed you too, Thurid. — Derek Landy

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Natasha Leggero

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you. — Natasha Leggero

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Mo Hayder

I noticed that in Tokyo people didn't smell. It was funny. I couldn't smell them, and they didn't say very much: the trains were packed but it was quite silent, like being jammed into a carriage with a thousand shop-window mannequins. — Mo Hayder

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Richelle Mead

The Moroi then noticed Adrian's companions and jumped up. He caught hold of Lissa's hand, leaned over, and kissed it. "Princess Dragomir. It's an honor to meet you at last. Seeing you from a distance was beautiful. Up close? Divine."
"This," said Adrain grandly, "is Blake Lazar."
"It's nice to meet you." she said.
Blake smiled radiantly. "May I call you Vasilisa?"
"You can call me Lissa."
"You can also," added Christian,"let go of her hand now."
Blake looked over at Christian, taking a few more moments to release Lissa's hand-seeming very proud about those extra seconds. "I've seen you too. Ozera. Crispin, right?"
"Christian," corrected Lissa. — Richelle Mead

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Rick Riordan

Suit yourself.' Sadie shouldered her pack, then helped Annabeth up. 'You say Carter drew a hieroglyph on your boyfriend's hand. All well and good, but I'd rather stay in touch with you directly.'

Annabeth smirked. 'You're right. Can't trust boys to communicate.'

They exchanged cell-phone numbers.

'Just don't call unless it's urgent,' Annabeth warned. 'Cell-phone activity attracts monsters.'

Sadie looked surprised. 'Really? Never noticed. I suppose I shouldn't send you any funny-face selfies on Instagram, then.'

'Probably not.'

'Well, until next time.' Sadie threw her arms round Annabeth. — Rick Riordan

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By MaryJanice Davidson

What's amazing is that she was possessed by Satan for almost a year and nobody noticed anything unusual! — MaryJanice Davidson

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By J.K. Rowling

Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts. — J.K. Rowling

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Melody J. Bremen

I noticed that the snow was gone and the ground looked greener. It's funny how the good stuff can wipe away the bad stuff so quickly. — Melody J. Bremen

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Thomas Pynchon

American voices, country voices, high-pitched and without mercy. He lies freezing, wondering if the bedsprings will give him away. For possibly the first time he is hearing America as it must sound to a non-American. Later he will recall that what surprised him most was the fanaticism, the reliance not just on flat force but on the rightness of what they planned to do ... he'd been told long ago to expect this sort of thing from Nazis, and especially from Japs - we were the ones who always played fair - but this pair outside the door now are as demoralizing as a close-up of John Wayne (the angle emphasizing how slanted his eyes are, funny you never noticed before) screaming BANZAI! — Thomas Pynchon

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By John Barth

So, reader, should you ever find yourself writing about the world, take care not to nibble at the many tempting symbols she sets squarely in your path, or you'll be baited into saying things you don't really mean, and offending the people you want most to entertain. Develop, if you can, the technique of the pall bearers and myself: smile, to be sure
for fucking dogs are truly funny
but walk on and say nothing, as though you hadn't noticed. — John Barth

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Pascalle Lepas

There's this funny thing I've noticed about people. You never really get the story you expect. Ask them about what they have, and they'll tell you about what they want. Ask them to tell you about love, and they'll tell you about heartbreak. Ask them about death, though, and they'll tell you about life. — Pascalle Lepas

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Elizabeth Laird

There's a funny thing I've noticed about life. When you really dread something, it turns out not to be so bad. It's the unexpected awful things that get you down. — Elizabeth Laird

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Sue Grafton

Results for I looked as respectable as the bum they were booking. I fancied I smelled better, but perhaps not. I've noticed that most of us don't have a clue what we smell like to other people. It's almost as though our noses blank us out in self-defense. — Sue Grafton

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Nicholas Sparks

It's funny, but have you ever noticed that the more special something is, the more people seem to take it for granted? It's like they think it won't ever change. Just like this house here. All it ever needed was a little attention, and it would never have ended up like this in the first place. — Nicholas Sparks

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Sol Luckman

Have you ever noticed how good things go to those who hate? — Sol Luckman

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Macworld Editors

We all like to think we're pretty savvy when it comes to using our Macs, and in the case of the typical Macworld reader, that's usually true. But there's a funny thing we've noticed when we talk even to veteran Mac users: There's almost always some essential stuff - basic — Macworld Editors

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Barbara Kingsolver

It's a funny thing to complain about, but most of America is perfectly devoid of smells. I must have noticed it before, but this last time back I felt it as an impairment. For weeks after we arrived I kept rubbing my eyes, thinking I was losing my sight or maybe my hearing. But it was the sense of smell that was gone. Even in the grocery store, surrounded in one aisle by more kinds of food than will ever be known in a Congolese lifetime, there was nothing on the air but a vague, disinfected emptiness. I mentioned this to Anatole, who'd long since taken note of it, of course. "The air is just blank in America," I said. "You can't ever smell what's around you, unless you stick your nose right down into something."
"Maybe that is why they don't know about Mobutu," he suggested. — Barbara Kingsolver

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Terry Pratchett

An hour ago Cutwell had thumbed through the index of The Monster Fun Grimoire and had cautiously assembled a number of common household ingredients and put a match to them.
Funny thing about eyebrows, he mused. You never really noticed them until they'd gone. — Terry Pratchett

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Chic Murray

It was a pretty posh place. They were so used to fur coats that two bears strolled in and ordered lunch and nobody even noticed. — Chic Murray

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By W. Somerset Maugham

They're a funny lot, suicides. I remember one man who couldn't get any work to do and his wife died, so he pawned his clothes and bought a revolver; but he made a mess of it, he only shot out an eye and he got alright. And then, if you please, with an eye gone and a piece of his face blown away, he came to the conclusion that the world wasn't such a bad place after all, and he lived happily ever afterwards. Thing I've always noticed, people don't commit suicide for love, as you'd expect, that's just a fancy of novelists; they commit suicide because they haven't got any money. I wonder why that is."
"I suppose money's more important than love," suggest Philip. — W. Somerset Maugham

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Firoozeh Dumas

We had always known that ours is a small country and that America is very big. But even as a seven-year-old, I was surprised that so many Americans has never noticed us on the map. Perhaps it's like driving a Yugo and realizing that the eighteen-wheeler can's see you. — Firoozeh Dumas

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Bill Hicks

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day". Yeah, looks like He rushed it — Bill Hicks

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Madeline Kahn

Me, as myself, I don't think I'm particularly funny. But I've noticed that people in my life always have found me amusing. Which, when I was little, really bothered me. — Madeline Kahn

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Have you noticed how dogs sniff at one another when they meet? It seems to be their nature.
- Yes; it's a funny habit.
- No, it's not funny; you are wrong there. There's nothing funny in nature, however funny it may seem to man. If dogs could reason and criticize us they'd be sure to find just as much that would be funny to them, if not far more, in the social relations of men, their masters -far more, I think. I am more convinced that there is far more foolishness among us. — Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Mark A. Cooper

Luckily the smoke raised the alarm and everyone fled we don't think any innocent people died. Although when the cavern collapsed two guards were crushed."
"Yeah I would have been disappointed too." Jason grinned, his grin was soon wiped off his face when he noticed Dexter's face change and disapproval of his joke. — Mark A. Cooper

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon

Ahhh, you two are special friends." Nick
"How do you mean?" Kyrian
"He thinks we're a couple" Ash
"No No No Definitely not. Not that Acheron is not an attractive man, not that I've ever really noticed whether or not he's attractive, but male is not my type." Kyrian — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Paul McKenna

I've noticed a funny thing about people who are over-weight. They spend all their time thinking about food -except when they're actually eating it — Paul McKenna

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Roz Chast

I noticed that I used to go to second hand shops and flea markets and find funny, cute things, but now I go into those stores, and I think, This is dead people's stuff. This is all, like, somebody cleaned out their parents' house, and I don't want any of it. If I didn't want it from my parents, I don't want it from your parents. — Roz Chast

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Alan Alda

The one thing I think I've noticed about shows that are supposed to be funny on television is that they've sort of become routinized, so there's an awful lot of mannerisms and joke lines that are sort of there to trigger laughter, rather than give actors a chance to play a moment. — Alan Alda

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Rick Yancey

He had noticed my bandaged hand.
"An accident," Warthrop said tersely.
"Dr. Warthrop chopped off my finger with a butcher knife."
Von Helrung's brow knotted up in confusion. "By accident?"
"No," I answered. "That part was on purpose. — Rick Yancey

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Kimberly Kinrade

Would you like to hold my sword?" He asked the question with a gleam in his eyes.
Lucy burst out laughing. At least she didn't giggle again. "You did not just say that. But, um, yeah, I'd like to hold your sword, Agent Riley."
Hunter grinned and unzipped his backpack, pulling out something surprisingly small. He held it out to her, and noticed the disappointed look on her face. "Expecting something bigger?"
She smirked at his continued play on words. She had a lifetime of training in verbal and physical sparring; he was no match for her. "They say size doesn't matter, but I disagree."
Hunter, who apparently hadn't expected her response, choked on his own comeback and unsheathed the sword, then placed it in her hand. "You have to stroke it a certain way to make it bigger. — Kimberly Kinrade

Have You Ever Noticed Funny Quotes By Elle Casey

Buster went bananas, running over to Paci and jumping up on his legs, begging for attention. Paci didn't disappoint him, either. He bent down and baby-talked with Buster, like he was an old hand at it.
I smiled in amusement. Paci was no wimp. He was almost as big as Bodo and ripped to the max. He had zero body fat, so Peter and I were able to admire his every muscle, which I noticed Peter was doing with unabashed curiosity. I caught his attention and raised my eyebrows at him in a conspiratorial message of mutual admiration. He smiled in return, giving me a pitiful wink that made him look like he had something stuck in both eyes. It made me laugh.
Paci looked up at me. "Something strike you as funny?"
"Yeah. You baby-talking to a nude poodle. — Elle Casey