Funny Under The Weather Quotes & Sayings

In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the major studios and then figures out where he can fit in a little rain without upsetting Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer too much. — Bob Hope

Brittany was "hot".Perhaps she was.She wore many layers and summer weather was still in reach. — G.L. Tomas

For instance, dragons are deeply revered by the Chinese. According to legend they have megapowers that include weather control and life creation. And they're seen as kind, benevolent creatures. Funny. Every fairy tale I'd ever heard involving dragons starred daring knights trotting off to kill said dragons. Probably the real reason every time East meets West they get pissed off and throw tea in our faces. — Jennifer Rardin

I pretended I was a Kez colonel pretending to be an Adran colonel," Olem said. "It was disturbingly easy."
"They didn't ask for papers or proof?"
"In this rain?" Olem gestured at the downpour. "You don't understand an enlisted man, sir. Nobody asks for bloody papers in this kind of weather. — Brian McClellan

- Obviously, we're hoping that the weather forecasters are wrong, the way they tend to be about ninety-eight percent of the time
A few adults chuckled at that lameness. I remember thinking, hoping, that I would never turn into the kind of person who though weather jokes were funny. — Siobhan Vivian

Isn't it funny," she said, stroking with an inky finger the beads of condensation on her glass of white wine, "that year was such an unhappy one, for me. Remember poor Reza? And Skandar away so much - and that weather. Do you remember, Nora? I've never had a harder time." (Except, she said "time-e.") "I guess I didn't realize it was — Claire Messud

Funny sky,' he said, squinting up at the thick-bellied white clouds and the sun shining so hot on them but not breaking through.
'It feels as if there should be a storm,' I said 'but it was like this at haymaking and the weather never properly broke then.'
'If I was at sea I should run for a port,' Ralph said. He was looking towards the horizon where there was a yellow tinge to the sky over the top of the downs. — Philippa Gregory

Do you laugh in the right places? Then, you'll get along, in fair weather or foul. Humor is nothing less than a sense of the fitness of things. Something that's out of proportion, like an inflated ego, should strike you funny, particularly if it's your own inflated ego. Otherwise you are pathetic and quite hopeless. — Carole Lombard

Funny weather today,' said the ferryman, bending slowly to his oars. 'In the morning you wake up to such a mist that you can't see two fathoms distance. And then about ten o'clock out comes the sun. One says to oneself "Here's spring on the way". And no sooner said than hailstorms set in for the afternoon. And now the wind's getting up, and there's going to be quite a blow, that's certain. Funny weather. — Maurice Druon

Playing in this nice weather really makes me remember all the times I got stung by a bee. — John Madden

Not so great in England at the moment; in an online poll we came last, we actually came bottom of European countries for quality of life, because of things like the weather, obviously, late retirement, poor holiday, poor public services, poor health service; it's basically just a kind of grey, godless wilderness, full of cold pies and broken dreams. — Bill Bailey

Not so fast," Sully said. The entire station went quiet as everyone turned toward him. "Lindsey Norris, I like you, too. I like that you're smart and funny and can remember what everyone in town likes to read. I like that you ride a ridiculous bike to work in terrible weather, and I like that your eyes change color with your moods, like the sea reflects the sky. I like that you adopted a puppy who needed you, and I like the way the wind tangles up your hair when you let it loose, and I do like it loose." Lindsey — Jenn McKinlay

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather. — Kristen Schaal

Why are you always so mad?"

She laughs under her breath. "That's easy," she says. "Assholes, stupid customers, a shitty job, worthless parents, crappy friends, bad weather, annoying roommates who don't know how to kiss."

I laugh at the last comment, which I'm sure was supposed to be a dig, but it felt more like an underhanded flirt.

"How are you so happy all the time?" she asks. "You think everything is funny."

"That's easy," I say. "Great parents, being lucky enough to have a job, loyal friends, sunny days, and roommates who starred in porn films. — Colleen Hoover

Well," I ask, leaning over him, "do you wish to stay?"
"I do."
"And why is that, Cole?" I say, tipping toward him so that our noses nearly brush.
"Well," he says with a smile, "the weather's quite nice. — Victoria Schwab

It was the kind of storm that suggests the whole sky has swallowed a diuretic. — Terry Pratchett

Attraction is a funny thing. Women can be beautiful and still do nothing for me. They can be stereotypically sexy and I will still pass them over. They can look innocent and it won't interest me, have a sassy attitude and I'll be looking elsewhere. I get bored easily and am as fickle as April weather. — Holly Stone

The weather wouldn't settle down. It would rain cats and dogs, then stop, then drip awhile, then stop while it made up its mind what to do next. — Glendon Swarthout

Often the inspiration to write music comes from the voices in your head. You're not crazy. Just be thankful they are not making you rescue people in 20-degree weather at 2:30 in the morning in the forest. — Shannon L. Alder

Ohio is a scale model of the entire country, jammed into 43,000 square miles. Cleveland views itself as the intellectual East (its citizens believe they have a rivalry with Boston and unironically classify the banks of Lake Erie as the North Coast). Cincinnati is the actual South (they fly Confederate flags and eat weird food). Dayton is the Midwest. Toledo is Pittsburgh, before Pittsburgh was nice. Columbus is a low-altitude Denver, minus the New World Order airport. Ohio experiences all possible US weather, sometimes simultaneously. — Chuck Klosterman

My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn."
"She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action."
-Ranger and Stephanie — Janet Evanovich

Bad weather's moving in," the old bird said, finally handing me a check.
Never seen so many tornadoes in my life.
We don't need no more of those," I agreed. "Last time one went through, the wind blew so hard I had to have my butt cheeks sewn back together. — Nick Wilgus

They've gotta stop reporting wind chill. That's nonsense. It really is. I don't know where they came up with it, why they came up with it, but it's a lie. They come on, "Well, it's 27 degrees today, but with the wind chill, it's minus 3." ... Well, then it's minus 3, asshole! I don't need to know what the weather was like if the conditions were perfect! — Lewis Black

I can't believe this heat," Abbey said, taking her tunic and pulling it over her head. Underneath was a form-fitting top that showed a figure unaccustomed to idleness or excess. Kip stared at her the way he had at the shiney curves of the steel horse back in the garage. "Can you imagine what it must have been like hundreds of years ago, when weather changed just a few times a year?" she said, wiping sweat from her brow with the back of her hand. "Yeah, it must have looked great," Kip said. "What do you mean looked great?" Abbey said, turning her eye on Kip. "Must have been great, like you said," he corrected. — Shawn Keenan

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. — Charles Dudley Warner

Dog owners are out in all kinds of weather. They tell you it's small payment for the love their dogs bear them. Some love. If that dog weren't on a leash, he'd be off after another dog, a cat, or any stranger walking along the street with a wet bag of meat. — Selma Diamond

I had more material on weather than anyone else, I guess, ... back when I was traveling a lot on the road as a standup comic, between airport security and the weather ... I just wanted to be prepared for sitting in the airport. — Lewis Black

A friend said to me, "I think the weather is trippy." I said, "No, man, it's not the weather that's trippy, perhaps it's the way we perceive it." And then I realized I just should have said, "Yeah." — Mitch Hedberg

Back in my State, I'm very close to being able to control the weather. I'll be all-powerful, once I've figured that out. — Brandon Sanderson

It's funny because you always think a real friendship can weather any storm, but human relationships can be as flimsy as paper boats in a tsunami."
~ page 97 — Steven Parlato