Funny Twentieth Birthday Quotes & Sayings

I invented the cordless extension cord. — Steven Wright

The more success you get, you start to be harder on yourself or more afraid of the looking glass. You have to learn to build a thicker skin because people are paying more attention. — Idina Menzel

Lying there, interrogated by the governor of Virginia, Brown said: "You had better - all you people at the South - prepare yourselves for a settlement of this question. . . . You may dispose of me very easily - I am nearly disposed of now, but this question is still to be settled, - this Negro question, I mean; the end of that is not yet. — Howard Zinn

The design of a temple depends on symmetry , the principles of which must be most carefully observed by the architect. — Marcus Vitruvius Pollio

If enough people out there want a physical product, I'll be happy to make one. I'd say about 10,000 people is "enough." — Rivers Cuomo

I know it's hard being a single mother baby, he said, but we're talking fundamentals here. Homemade cookies are one of the best parts of christmas. It's an absolute fundamental. — Dean Koontz

Start out the day assuming you know nothing. That's a good start to the day. — Art Hochberg