Funny T Rex Quotes & Sayings

A row of tables manned by seated, serious women. Each woman looked like she could be someone's least-favourite aunt. — Adam Rex

This is where you all live?" Asked John as they ascended the stairs. "It's small."
"This is just our Thanksgiving house," Scott muttered. "We have a house for every day of the year. — Adam Rex

Just remember that a pat on the back is only 18 inches from a kick in the behind. — Rex W. Tillerson

Jay lurched in one direction, jerked back, lurched in another, tripped for no reason. He finally made it through a gauntlet of invisible obstacles and crouched behind a water fountain shaped like a hippopotamous throwing up. — Adam Rex

What part of Canada are you from, honey?"
"THE LEFT PART," said Jay. — Adam Rex

He spun out enough toilet paper to vandalize a house and carefully cleaned the seat. — Adam Rex

He had on a funny T-shirt, as usual. Today's featured acartoon figure running from a giant T. rex, and it read EXERCISE: SOME MOTIVATIONREQUIRED. — Rachel Caine

Sorry I'm late, Ms. Egami said to the class. She dropped her papers, which scattered in that special way papers do when one is running late. — Adam Rex

The Freemen have 987 levels of membership, the first three of which are achieved merely by filling out an application. The 8th level is granted upon full acceptance into the local lodge, the 13th following Initiation, the 21st at the end of the Initiate's second week, and the 89th the first time he brings snacks. — Adam Rex

Project: Potential was a separate class that the gifted students went to for an hour each day. The name was supposed to make it exciting, like Code Name: Cursive or Mission: State Capitals. — Adam Rex

I've been very luckily - I bought a house, I work, my life's been very blessed. I thought it would be funny to exaggerate the non-working side. — Simon Rex

Love is a funny thing, isn't it? It likes to f*** with you by making you fall in love with the wrong person."- Master Rex from my upcoming book "Whispers of Change — Justus Roux

Scottish Play Doe was born at 4:13 a.m. on September 6th. The ink was barely dry on his father's new tattoo. — Adam Rex

They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean? — Adam Rex

Does it bother you when you see Daddy kissing Josh?" he asked.
Ty shook his head and made a funny face. "No, not really. I guess you really like him a lot."
"I do," Rex agreed. "I love Josh."
"I love Josh too, and so I don't care if you kiss him. But I thought boys only kissed girls."
Rex nodded. "Yeah, well, that's how it is most of the time, but you know some boys kiss other boys and some girls kiss other girls."
"Well, I don't wanna kiss no girls!" Ty said emphatically.
Rex and Josh both laughed. "Maybe someday you will, though. If you do, that's fine, and if you don't, that's fine too. For right now, you can just kiss Daddy." He leaned in and kissed Ty on the forehead. — Jeff Erno

There's a little bit of magic in every box! — Adam Rex

Sneaky would be a lime-green Volkswagen. Nobody would suspect the assassins in the lime-green Volkswagen. — Adam Rex

Then it suddenly and theatrically began to clean itself in the way cats do when they want you to know what a big deal you aren't. — Adam Rex

I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with ... G."
"Sausages. — Adam Rex

In lieu of Tasers, you'll have to hit me. Hard as you can. Then maybe some kind of fight-or-flight response will kick in and I'll turn into a bat to get away from you."
"Fight or flight."
"Yes."
"Only half of that is flight. — Adam Rex

The United States was a big country where everybody wore funny t-shirts and ate too much. — Adam Rex

Polly Esther Doe was born at 8:03 a.m. on August 14. — Adam Rex

Stealing is good, honest work," Said the theif, puffing out his chest. "Well, not honest, strictly speaking," he admitted after a moment. "Or actually good. — Adam Rex

Can I see some ID?"
"WE DON'T HAVE ID," said Jay, loudly. "'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID ... THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN."
Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out. — Adam Rex

There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good. — Adam Rex