Funny Serial Killer Quotes & Sayings

Tex, you look like a serial killer in this picture!" I shouted.
"Yeah, so?" Tex answered.
I stared.
"You think people wouldn't pay good money to have a serial killer make them coffee?" he boomed. — Kristen Ashley

The worst part is, he's been extra sweet because he's trying to make everything okay again. If he weren't a serial killer, he'd be the perfect boyfriend — Kelly Oram

He stared at Avery's socks and felt an odd sense of wonder. Socks were so normal. So mundane. How could someone who pulled on socks in the morning be a serial killer? Socks were not hard or dangerous. Socks were funny; foot mittens, that's what socks were. They made a knobbly hinge of your toes and became comical sock-puppets. Surely anyone who wore socks could not truly be a threat to him or anyone else? — Belinda Bauer

Before people figured out I was funny, I got cast quite a bit as either a rapist or serial killer or the guy who catches those people. — Nick Offerman

Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer. — Ellen DeGeneres

I spend most of my days up to my elbows in someone's chest cavity. Really, I know zip about music."
He didn't bother hiding his surprise. "Wow. That must be ... messy."
"That didn't sound too great, did it? Let me reassure you - I'm a doctor, not a serial killer. — Sarah Mayberry

It may surprise you to know this, but there are children
some of them teenage boys, just like you
who actually carry on open, honest conversations with their mothers."
"I find it very hard to believe that there are other teenage boys just like me." I finished my cereal and stood up. "I also find it a little terrifying. — Dan Wells

So you went bike riding, then," she said. "Just around town? Out on the forest trails somewhere?"
"Yes," I said, "we went out to Forman's place."
Her face twisted, eyes widening, eyebrows curling, nostrils flaring. It was her "shocked" face, with a dash of "confused." "Really?"
"Of course not," I said, "but the face you just made almost makes this conversation worth it. — Dan Wells