Funny Roseanne Barr Quotes & Sayings

I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you're not funny at all. — Roseanne Barr

I like it when very little children think for themselves, because they do not have access to car keys or credit cards or crack pipes, but they have some really funny lines. — Roseanne Barr

I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny. And I discovered a lot of great writers that went on to do a lot of great shows like 'Seinfeld,' 'Friends,' you know, 'Three and a Half Men.' — Roseanne Barr

When I was little, that was one thing that I was told in a vision: I was going to have my own show when I grew up. And it's going to be funny. — Roseanne Barr

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was? — Adam Carolla

And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny. — Roseanne Barr

When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying. — Roseanne Barr