Funny Naughty Quotes & Sayings

Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Would you like to sit?" Kellen asked her.
"You'd better do it soon," Owen whispered close to her ear, "or I'm going to bend you over that table and break the club's no-penetration-in-the-lounge rule. — Olivia Cunning

Lusty blacksmiths and naughty princesses. Now that's scary — Simon Holt

Whatcha got there?" Drake asked, nodding to the floor. "Snacks for me." I winked. "Well, now I'm offended." He fake pouted, scooting away from me in his seat, which made it even more funny because there was nowhere for him to go in the tiny car. "Why is that?" Nothing wrong with playing along, besides, he was cute when he was fake-mad. What was I saying? He was cute ALL the time. He turned to me and slid his arms around my waist, pulling me close. Far off, I caught a whiff of his scent. Mmm. Delicious. "It's just that I thought I was your snack on the go." His breath danced on my cheek, dangerously close to my lips. I giggled before I could stop myself. "Do you really want me to suck you dry?" "Mmm, that sounds like an offer I can't refuse." He raised his eyebrows and flashed a naughty grin. "Don't be dirty, I didn't mean that." I slapped his arm for good measure. "Is that all you think of me as - some kind of slutty vampire? — Karly Kirkpatrick

I think it's great to see how they've grown up, not just as actors but as people. They're still very much the same kids that I met many years ago. They've grown up and they are funny and wicked and naughty and bright, and I think as actors their work is just getting better and better. They've blossomed. — David Heyman

I tried to blow a yellow jacket out and now it's wearing a bow tie in its mouth. — Ana Claudia Antunes

Alex the waiter was on my Spank Naughty list in third place, right after Henry Calvill the actor, then Henry Calvill as Superman. He was proof that God existed, and that God loved straight women. — Penny Reid

Mother Goose will show newcomers to this world how astonishing, beautiful, capricious, dancy, eccentric, funny, goluptious, haphazard, intertwingled, joyous, kindly, loving, melodious, naughty, outrageous, pomsidillious, querimonious, romantic, silly, tremendous, unexpected, vertiginous, wonderful, x-citing, yo-heave-ho-ish, and zany it is. — Iona Opie

Shigure Sohma: So anyway I was wondering if you could stop by the house and take a look at Tohru's cut. That is if it isn't a problem.
Hatori Sohma: No problem. I'll stop by the house this evening.
Shigure Sohma: Hmmm What's this Hatori I don't think I ever heard you sound so eager to come over. Could it be you have a secret crush on Tohru
[long silence from the other end of the phone]
Shigure Sohma: [shouts] I knew it You naughty naughty man you
Hatori Sohma: No I was simply too amazed by your stupidity to say anything. — Natsuki Takaya

So none of the young men we encountered during our season gave you hot pants for them?
Belinda! Your language.
I've been mingling with Americans. Such fun. So Naughty. — Rhys Bowen

Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't matter to me. — Katie MacAlister

God might have been either drunk or naughty when he was creating women. — M.F. Moonzajer

Probably spending 12 years at boarding school - comedy became a survival gene. But I think some people are funny right off the bat, as soon as they can speak or be naughty. — Eric Idle

She gets naughty with her Pilates body
And she thinks it's really funny when her nose goes bloody — Mickey Avalon

Married?" she practically screeched, not sounding all that pleased, which left him feeling a little offended. "We're not getting married."
He snorted at that. "I may have let you have your naughty little way with me for the past couple of months, but that doesn't mean I'm going to allow you to keep treating me like some dirty little boy toy. If you want to live with me then I expect you to put a ring on my finger," he said, holding up his left hand and wiggling his ring finger to punctuate his words. — R.L. Mathewson

You took advantage of me while I was sleeping," she said breathlessly. "That's not fair."
Gentry's hand moved over her hip in a slow circle."I seldom play fair. It's usually easier to cheat."
A sudden laugh bubbled in Lottie's throat. "You are the most shameless man I've ever encountered."
"Probably," he conceded, pushing her hair aside and lowering his smiling mouth to the back of her neck. — Lisa Kleypas