Funny Greg Giraldo Quotes & Sayings

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates had got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft? — Greg Giraldo

The things that make me laugh are considered smart or whatever, I guess. But stuff that's self-consciously intelligent or self-consciously hip or cool, that doesn't do it for me either. You just try to be funny. — Greg Giraldo

"You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress." — Greg Giraldo

The hardest part, for real, is probably when you just don't feel like going on stage and being funny. — Greg Giraldo

Jesse has opened for me extensively on the road so I've seen him do hundreds of sets. He is always super funny, has tons of material and the crowds love him. Bottom line, Jesse Joyce is a great comedian. — Greg Giraldo

Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago! — Greg Giraldo