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Funny Female Cop Quotes & Sayings

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Top Funny Female Cop Quotes

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Anne Bishop

The Dimwit's Guide to the Female Mind might assist your efforts in understanding human females. But it must be pointed out that this subject can be a dangerous adventure and should be undertaken with extreme caution. After all, human males have been trying to understand their females for generations, and most of the time they come away from these encounters looking like someone stuck their tails into an electric socket. — Anne Bishop

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Kristi Ann Hunter

By morning, Adelaide was beginning to understand why she'd never completely understood how God worked. Given that He had made the bewildering, maddening, incomprehensible species that was man from His own image, it stood to reason that the Creator would be a complicated mass of logic never meant to be understood by the female mind. That, or the fall of man in the Garden of Eden had taken them even further off the path than she'd ever realized — Kristi Ann Hunter

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Ann Edwards Cannon

Is it just me, or do you also think this is unnatural behavior in a female parent? Isn't there a federal law that says mothers are not allowed to laugh at vulnerable male children when they are required to wear stupid clothing to work?
There should be. — Ann Edwards Cannon

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Wes Locher

After all, this was the place where I'd had my first meaningful conversation with a female, it was the site of a football's first encounter with my groin, and above all, it was the location where I was first punched in the face by a bully. Somewhere out there, a tooth of mine lay deep within the soil. — Wes Locher

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Elizabeth Meriwether

What does being a woman today mean? Is there a right way of doing it? Is there a wrong way of doing it? Different kinds of women, female friendships: It's all pretty funny, and worth making fun of. — Elizabeth Meriwether

Funny Female Cop Quotes By George Eliot

And certainly, the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it. — George Eliot

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Kresley Cole

Tell me, Lothaire, I want to know. Convince me why I should love you."
"Because any other female would! — Kresley Cole

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Daniel Tosh

I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best. — Daniel Tosh

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Conan O'Brien

Saudi Arabia's first female athlete will be allowed to compete while wearing a head scarf. The Saudi woman said she was thrilled about the ruling all she needs now is a man to drive her to the Olympics. — Conan O'Brien

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Steven Herrick

He looks again towards the door, expecting Mum to walk in and remind him of something he's forgotten. He smiles awkwardly.
'Is that it, Dad? I've got to go.'
'Your Mum said I should mention ... um ... satisfaction.'
'What!'
'She said young men should know things, should be told things so that the girl won't be ... ' his eyes plead for understanding, ' ... disappointed.'
[ ... ] 'No worries, Dad. My biology teacher said I was a natural.'
Dad looks confused.
'I'm kidding, Dad.'
[ ... ] Poor bloke, having to do the dirty work while Mum's off with her gang.
'Dad? What did Grandpa tell you about sex?'
'He said if I got a girl pregnant, he'd kill me. — Steven Herrick

Funny Female Cop Quotes By John Cheever

He followed her into the bathroom and sat on the shut toilet seat while she washed her back with a brush. "I forgot to tell you," he said. "Liza sent us a wheel of Brie." "That's nice," she said, "but you know what? Brie gives me terribly loose bowels." He hitched up his genitals and crossed his legs. "That's funny," he said. "It constipates me." That was their marriage then
not the highest paving of the stair, the clatter of Italian fountains, the wind in the alien olive trees, but this: a jay-naked male and female discussing their bowels. — John Cheever

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Terry Pratchett

The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one. — Terry Pratchett

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Sloane Crosley

It's funny. People often compare me to other humor essayists. They're usually quite nice comparisons; I will accept those gladly. But I am always sort of appalled at the idea of being lumped with other, more chick-y female writers. And the truth is probably that neither comparison is accurate. — Sloane Crosley

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Carly Craig

A lot of female comedians will go up there in a sweatshirt and Converses, trying to dress themselves down, because it is sort of a boy's club. I'll go up in my heels. I like that people don't think I'll be funny. I'll take that on. I don't do standup comedy - I do standup and I do comedy, but I don't go up there and do jokes. — Carly Craig

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Gwen Stefani

Look at your watch now. You're still a super hot female. — Gwen Stefani

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Khaled Hosseini

A man's plumbing is like his mind: simple, very few surprises. You ladies, on the other hand ... well, God put a lot of thought in making you. — Khaled Hosseini

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Simone Elkeles

And my piece of advice is ... don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours. — Simone Elkeles

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Kathryn Lasky

Are you scared of going in to see the raghnaid [the council]?" asked a gray female pup.
"Are you cag mag [crazy]? If a bear was his Milk Giver, you think he's scared of the raghnaid? — Kathryn Lasky

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Christina Dodd

Great minds think alike-especially when they are female. — Christina Dodd

Funny Female Cop Quotes By J.R. Ward

And it was kind of funny to see all these professional fighters unwilling to get within a mile of the female. Then again, if you wanted to survive doing the work they did, accurate risk assessment was something you developed early
and even Qhuinn, who was the object of the protective instinct the Chosen was rocking, wouldn't have dared touch her. — J.R. Ward

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Criss Jami

The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you. — Criss Jami

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Darren Star

I think women have such rich emotional lives that they are expressive about. I also think they're funny. I like watching strong female characters, and I like writing them. I don't know if it's conscious that I gravitate towards women, but it's certainly evolved that way. — Darren Star

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Nicole Gulla

I shook my head back and forth as though I was a human etch-a-sketch, erasing the memory. — Nicole Gulla

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Charles Dickens

On summer evenings, when every flower, and tree, and bird, might have better addressed my soft young heart, I have in my day been caught in the palm of a female hand by the crown, have been violently scrubbed from the neck to the roots of the hair as a purification for the Temple, and have then been carried off highly charged with saponaceous electricity, to be steamed like a potato in the unventilated breath of the powerful Boanerges Boiler and his congregation, until what small mind I had, was quite steamed out of me — Charles Dickens

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Amber Heard

The sad thing about our society is that women are put in one of two categories. You're either in the beautiful category and you're seen as sexy and beautiful, or some version of that, or you're put into another category.The latter category affords women the opportunity to be smart, funny, independent, mean, strong, intelligent and opinionated. We take them seriously as politicians, if they fit into that latter category. We respect their opinions more and give them higher expectations. That latter category is what allows female actors to be characters. — Amber Heard

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Kristen Wiig

There are so many funny women in the world, and there has been for so many years, so I'll be happy when people can just move on from that, and things can just be 'comedies' and not 'female' or 'male,' and everyone gets an equal opportunity. — Kristen Wiig

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Habeeb Akande

Women who seek advice from single women about getting a man is like asking a homeless man how to be rich. — Habeeb Akande

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Cathleen Schine

Female Chauvinist Pigs is smart, alarming, and extremely funny. With nuance and humor, Levy has written both a convincing expos of sex and desire in contemporary America and an important cultural history. I'm giving a copy to my mother. And my sons. — Cathleen Schine

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Adele Ashworth

I'm still furious with you," she murmured, kissing a line down his chest.
"Oh, God, please don't be furious," he choked out quickly. "Every female I know is furious with me. Rosalyn throws tantrums, and Charlotte hasn't spoken to me or written since you left." He moved his hands to unbutton her gown. "The morning I thought you'd sailed out of my life I started drinking and didn't stop until I'd finished two bottles. For three days I had a blistering headache, and Nedda couldn't for the life of her stop banging things." He groaned. "And I can't even begin to tell you about your sisters. — Adele Ashworth

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Suzanne Wright

Now you're just being selfish," Dominic said to Jaime, shaking his head. "You have that body for the rest of your life. I only want it for one night."
Not in the mood to hear his packmate making moves - no matter how playful - on the female he intended to claim, Dante growled. "Dominic, no. Not to Jaime."
"But - "
"No."
Dominic sighed in resignation. "Okay, fine."
Noticing that Trey seemed to find the whole thing extremely amusing, Dante raised a brow at him. "It's funny now that he's not saying this shit to Taryn?"
Trey smiled. "Of course."
"I've always got some stored up for my gorgeous Alpha female," said Dominic with an impish grin.
Instantly Trey's smile fell from his face. "Dom, don't do it."
Dominic held his hands up, pleading innocence. "I was just going to ask her if she went to Boy Scouts ... because she has my heart all tied in knots."
Taryn groaned and chuckled at the same time. — Suzanne Wright

Funny Female Cop Quotes By Werley Nortreus

When a female cop pull you over for speeding, to get out of the ticket, talk nice to her, try to flirt or start crying, i bet she will save the ticket for you. — Werley Nortreus

Funny Female Cop Quotes By J.R. Ward

In the Old Language, she hissed, "If any harm shall befall him, I will come after you, and find you where you sleep. I do not care where you lay your head or who with, my vengeance shall rain upon you until you drown."
That last word was drawn out, until its syllable was lost in more growling.
Dead silence.
Until Doc Jane said dryly, "Annnnd this is why they say the female of the species is more dangerous than the male. — J.R. Ward